Hash Trash 1799 C

The Hash was hosted by Hot Nuts and Nutcracker at the Nuthouse in Vailima, set back on a scenic plateau. It had been raining a lot that day so it seemed relatively cool, but impressions were soon to be changed. Hot Nuts came back from the swim, er run, looking like he had been taken through a carwash backwards. He left puddles! So with some trepidation we set out on his Mt Vaea Magic Carpet Ride. Well marked trail led us up the Cross Island Road, down towards the botanical gardens and into the trail leading to the top. But the trail appeared to head off towards SPREP, so off we trudged. This was a false trail, so we tried the Forestry Station trail where no markers were found. This meant only one thing, or rather two. One, the true trail led up to Mt Vaea, and two, the shortcutters went towards SPREP and out through the bush to the Cross Island Road. Let’s recall that inside the forest the humidity was at least 150%. If you opened your water bottle the level went up. The heat and wet was far too much for some, thus a leisurely jomp down the hill seemed prudent. Godfather’s sweet nuts were awaiting in the slight breeze, precious relief after the wet heat of the woods.

Hot Nuts stepped in as GM and called the circle to order. New to Hash were Amalia, a Greek-American brought by Bad Investment, and Toaimatagialetagaloalagi introduced by parents Snatched and Pussysnatcher. Shoe Inspector Cunning Linguist failed.

Retreads were Captain Mortein, Pirate Princess (held hostage by Captain), Slim Shady (early Alzheimer), Swinger (retired), Cockblocker (chasing gazelles), Snake (no work in Samoa), Kristiane (working late), Robert (in Switzerland) and Gianluca (long story, awesome, great). After their down-down Kristiane had another for wearing her cap on and Slim Shady for her shadys.

Celebrity Awards went to Imelda da Welda for Roadrunner (in paper and on tv), Poumuli (on tv), Swinger (for being a huge celeb while away) and Hot Nuts (forget).

This Day in History Awards went to all the Oz Volunteers (1960 – While campaigning for President of the United States, John F. Kennedy announces his idea of the Peace Corps, later copied by Oz), Snake (World Vegan Day – biggest meat eater in Hash), Pussysnatcher (National Cat Day) and Swinger (Feast Day of St James).

Opening up for nominations, Slim Shady nominated Snake for the Piece of Shit Award – he had been on a cow farm in NZ, threw his boots in bag covered in cow dung, and stood by while poor Samoan customs guy  smelled then licked a piece off the boot.

Murray offered up the Biodiversity Geeks Award to Hot Nuts for interrupting his enjoyment of the Jazz Festival with his talk of the joy of maggots. Snatched gave an Indecent Award to Poumuli for showing up at a kids Halloween party looking like a S&M mass murderer.

Gayboy got his Latecummer Award, while Poumuli nominated Captain Mortein for the Catlike Reflexes Award for only spilling ¾ of his beer.

At the Jazz Festival Alex had been having a great time, but the classy event was somewhat diminished by a Hasher who claimed to be no good at dancing round and round, but excellent at the up and down – Crime. In this regard Godfather thanked all those who had helped out but especially Sunny Side Up for her dancing Red Hot Jazz Virgin.

Gayboy was deemed to also have been a retread, and apparently had been seeing the aiga in Hong Kong. Snatched then expressed her confusion at the varying lengths of shorts that Hot Nuts had been sporting, and while this should have boomeranged as a Nut Fixation Award, he gamely took it.

The GM then gave his confusing RWC Award, for Ozzies loosing, all the Samoans playing and the Kiwis for winning – this involved Murray, Faumuina, Daz, Gayboy, Lewinsky and Strap On.

Snake nominated Swinger for the Poor Pommy Loser Award, added to by Slim Shady for Gratuitous Promotion of World Tour Award – he brought her a kitchen magnet! She joined for the Ungrateful Award as Nutcracker was well pleased with her kitchen magnet.

Before the Hosts and the Hare were saluted we had a round of thanks, love and gratitude from Slim Shady, Swinger and Godfather, while Gayboy noted that his first Hash had been at the other Nuthouse. We were all invited to come to the Kapiti Coast in NZ, and Hot Nuts emphasized the benefits for people to get involved in the fellowship and community of Hash. Nutcracker, not one for speaking up in the circle, thanked the Hash for making their stay in Samoa special and for introducing them to community members and places they would normally not encounter.

Godfather then brought up his being approached by SBC, and a vote was taken as to whether we should switch. Unanimous to await. We then did Goodbye My Feleni and Swing Low. Then we feasted.

Check the blog for next week.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit