Hash Trash 1836

The Hash was hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo and Yahoo at their house in Vaoala, off Bank Street. It was a cool day so far up in the hills, and even cooler when Poolboy took everyone by truck up to the Baha’i Temple. Slight miscommunication meant that the first false trail was ignored. Poumuli told the walkers that they should just head straight home, but Nom Nom took this to be the full instruction and raced away. The rest proceeded down Cross-Island Road, with a detour around Lamosa Road. Lots of dogs but Il Capo and Cunning Linguist beat them off, with sticks. Down the hill no one bought the false trail past the Mormon church, so it was simply on home down Bank Street. All in all a 4.5 km run, pleasant temperature and Godfather’s lovely miniscule nuts were chilling.

POD stepped in as GM, and there were no newbies. Retreads were Nom Nom (in Melbourne) and Loose Lips (concussion). Jessica was made shoe inspector and failed.

This Day in History Awards went to David (1776 – American Revolution: The United States Declaration of Independence is adopted by the Second Continental Congress), Cunning Linguist (1848 – Slaves are freed in the Danish West Indies (now U.S. Virgin Islands) by Peter von Scholten in the culmination of a year-long plot by enslaved Africans), Godfather (1892 – Western Samoa changes the International Date Line. Monday, July 4 occurs twice, resulting in a year with 367 days), Lewinsky (2002 – The International Criminal Court is established to prosecute individuals for genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and the crime of aggression) and Il Capo (International Asteroid Day).

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady (in paper) and Cunning Linguist (Tokelau article). The GM’s first award was for the exuberant commentator celebrating Iceland’s win over the poms – Witch Doctor took this one. Keeping it in the family, the GM called on Poumuli for gatecrashing a wedding and telling porky pies to Wahoo about his whereabouts. Also at the wedding Gayboy and Sassy had done some sexy chair dancing, and he was joined by Karaoke for her magnificent cake.

David had been spotted at the beach with Wahoo’s family as well as what appeared to be scantily clad medical students. Instead of talking to them he proceeded to wrestle with dogs to get their attention. Manly Award!

One of the Hash Meres was complaining about her husband taking all her drinks. Eveready countered that it was because Lewinsky had drunk all the tonic. However, we know Lewinsky is on a wine diet so that failed. Godfather then explained why the Hash had not performed the Hash Anthem for Elle McJr – there were faifeaus, ministers etc present so it had been called off. Everyone there had wanted to go ahead – except Titty Galore who took a down down.

Also at the beach Poumuli had been in the water entertaining all the kids, and was calling his wife to take a picture of Pulitzer prize characteristics, which she refused to do. Lack of Cooperation Award to Wahoo, who was joined by Gayboy for vibrator interruptus.

Slim Shady nominated Loose Lips for the Sex Harassment Award, as she had sat in some sauce and then proceeded to shove her ass in everyone’s face. Cunning Linguist got the Loopyman Award for his 50 km bike race.

David wanted to nominate anyone of British descent for the US Independence Day Award. Slim Shady added that David was geographically challenged for stating that Connecticut was just outside New York. Snatched had tried to back away slowly but was spotted, and joined David for his double, as well as all the other Yanks – Eveready, Jessica and Wahoo.

Gayboy attempted to make a nomination, but the seriously disturbing view of his leaking nipples got the GM into paroxysms of laughter. Eventually the discussion landed on that Poumuli had had to sit on his lap for the wedding photo – but Godfather nipped the discussion in the bud, that this was why he hadn’t pressed the point about performing at the wedding – Hash is a bunch of pisstaking idiots some times.

David wanted to honor Nom Nom for doing the Dry July without drinking, and nominated anyone born in January for a Wet January Award – POD. Getting back to his wedding stories, Gayboy has been to many, but never has a mate missed the key part due to having gone off for a dump – Lewinsky.

Il Capo felt that the run had not been well marked and nominated Poumuli, Nom Nom and David, the latter two for not doing the loop.

Godfather then did a bit of advertising for the jazz and latin music shows at the Marina Friday and Home Café on Saturday. He also highlighted the FLO Walk 4 Life walk on Saturday morning.

We then saluted the hosts and hare before eating some Hungarian Goulash.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit