Monday, July 18, 2016

Hash Trash 1837

The Hash was hosted by David at his rental place near Moototua, just behind Giordano’s. The hare was Crime, and he had set a relatively easy run, because the weather was crap. However, Godfather remarkably made the rain stop as the pack set out of the gate, and it held up until the majority had returned to the house – Jehovah, it’s a miracle. So the trail led us past Lynn’s and on to the hospital road. Down and over the Vaitele road, we turned right at the insurance company, and made our way back to cross island road. Then it was on home, and sweet tiny nuts.

POD stepped in as GM and welcomed the smallish circle. There were no newbies, but the retreads were Nettie, Sunny Side Up, Black Swan, Octopussy and Screamer. Witch Doctor was appointed Shoe Inspector, and she zeroed in on Octopussy. David claimed to have seen the price tag inside the shoe, this lead to a Time Traveler Award as the shoe had not been removed as yet.

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady, Godfather and Titty Galore for being in the paper, Poumuli for forgetting the clippings and Lewinsky for Da Head (severed head found on beach in Fiji).
This Day in History Awards went to Witch Doctor (1716 – The Battle of Dynekilen forces Sweden to abandon its invasion of Norway), Il Capo and Screamer (1937 – The Marco Polo Bridge Incident provides the Imperial Japanese Army with a pretext for starting the Second Sino-Japanese War), Lewinsky (1998 – Abkhazia releases Clinton and Lewinsky stamp) and Sunny Side Up (no reason).

Turning to the GM’s awards, a Confusion Award went to Wahoo who was convinced she was on the celeb list (not), that this was not a BYO, and generally for next week’s fashion show. Then from one extreme to another, from ill prepared to well prepared, as Witch Doctor pointed to the sheer amount of paper left over from setting the trail – David got the Boys Scout Award (even though the paper had been supplied by Poumuli, who remained silent).

StrapOn and Il Capo had been so excited on the run it sounded like they were making a porno, although Il Capo had said that she was going to puke. Nettie and Godfather were also called forward for the squeal of excitement when Godfather spilled his drink on her, yet had a handy towel ready to do some wiping.

Lewinsky nominated the GM for the Overly Excited Award, as they had been towing a vehicle from Savaii, and the GM had been a bit flustered so that when they arrived at Transporter’s she excitedly placed the gear in park, from whence it jammed. She was joined by Lewinsky for making her do it in the first place.

Black Swan self-nominated as she had been at Firstcummer’s wedding and been asked to do a reading, and self-censored herself to call her Forerunner instead. David tried to nominate Il Capo for the delayed start to the run due to toilet break, but mucked it up so that both of them took it. Poumuli tried to nominate Lewinsky for leaving the BBQ behind in Poutasi, but this was false information as it was Godfather who simply hadn’t brought it back – this led to a down down for Poumuli. Lewinsky further drew attention away by nominating chef Crime for a respectful one.

It was pointed out that it was Screamer in Fiji’s birthday today, thus Screamer took one. Godfather noted that every year POD wins the Lalomanu half-marathon, except this year it was some overseas bitch. POD excused the poor show by timing of office work, but also shared this one with Lewinsky and Sunny Side Up.

David was nominated for a failure to understand Hash, with a question of where are we going to Il Capo during the run – Octopussy joined for an absurdist remark. Lewinsky wanted to give one to the host for his environmentally friendly employer SPREP, and who was described by Wahoo as really brainy, but David got him to join for his over-excitement.

Godfather then provided an update on what had happened with the Hamilton Boys at the Edge – a bag snatcher had run off with a tourist’s bag, only to be stopped by Crime, pissed as a newt, so that when Godfather congratulated him, he was quite confused as to what he was talking about. Godfather then nominated anyone who has not heard the Hamilton Boys – POD, Octopussy, Black Swan and Sachi.

The Hare and the Host, Crime and David were saluted before the BBQ was consumed

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

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