And as the prodigal son also returned, so upon us returneth
the prodigal snake. As with so many of his recent visits he prodigiously and
generously hosted the Hash at Snakepit 1, with Fang, amidst the detritus of
moving out. The Hashers were directed to go whence the petrol station fumes at
the corner, and this would turn out to be the more delightful of scents
encountered on the run. As we moved down the rocky path, we recalled with gutsy
woe the many woeful paths that Snake had led us down in the past. The
breathtaking miasma of fumes that greeted us around the corner from the burned
down warehouse soon put paid to any nostalgia. Around this stinking pile of
malodorous sepsis we headed straight up to the Vaitele road, and followed the
trail to the left. At the corner of the Hospital road we heard a hissing yell
that it was on back. This led us to a small cut in the bushes, into a swampy
mosquito filled warren of muck. Up and out of this stygian armpit it was up the
Palisi road towards the Prayer House, but thankfully turning down for the on
home towards the clock tower. It took many a nut from Godfather’s bountiful
supply to rinse away the sheer pong of the run.
POD stood up as GM as usual. Calling the circle to order, and
ordered those new to Hash to step forward. There was Prue who works at the UN
and had googled us. Then there was Moana from NZ who had been brought by
someone called Daz. Nom Nom took a first.
Retreads were Poumuli (Casablanca and Christchurch), Hot
Nuts (not yet retired), Il Capo (biorap), Kieran (Savaii), Sunny Side Up (jolly
somewhere), Cockblocker (biorap) and Titty Galore (resting). Wahoo missed her
retread so was given a large one with balls. Shoe Inspector Pusiapa failed.
This Day in History Awards went to Poumuli (1030 –
Ladejarl-Fairhair succession wars: Battle of Stiklestad: King Olaf II fights
and dies trying to regain his Norwegian throne from the Danes. In 1031 – Olaf
II of Norway is canonized as Saint Olaf by Grimketel, the English Bishop of
Selsey), Godfather for Swinger (1800 – The Acts of Union 1800 are passed which
merge the Kingdom of Great Britain and the Kingdom of Ireland into the United
Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland), Moana (1860 – The Second Maori War
begins in New Zealand), Lewinsky (1973 – Monica Lewinsky’s birthday), Slim
Shady (2014 – Convention on preventing and combating violence against women and
domestic violence entered into force) and Nettie (International Beer Day).
Celebrity awards went to Titty Galore for Spellcheck (in paper),
Slim Shady (in the paper), Wahoo (on TV) and Lewinsky for the below:
The GM pointed out that there had been no celebrity award
for the Tongan flag bearer, who apparently broke the internet. She selected CB
as the greasiest hasher, Mr Whippy for his sheen and for oiling boys, Meg. On
the Rio theme, the GM congratulated Snake for bringing Rio to hash, with Zika
swamps and polluted waters. She also called up relative of Samoan sprinter
Jeremy Dobson, Titty Galore, and for slow swimmer Brandon Schuster – Heather.
We also had the Super Rugby finals, and for traitorous
behaviour, Lewinsky had been cheering for the Lions, the ICE was brought out.
Lewinsky had to sit there as Godfather slowed down the song to a crawl. Opening
up for nominations, Sassy nominated Hot Nuts for being an awesome Hashman, as
she had been getting repeated messages from Nutcracker to keep him out of
trouble. Hot Nuts tried the defence that he had a reputation to uphold, so
Godfather did the song slowly again, much to Lewinsky’s shrinkage. He was
eventually allowed off the ice, but a ball was observed rolling away.
Back to the game, Crime was awarded for sticking with his
team, and Godfather for having attended Victoria Uni in Wellington. Karaoke had
baked a cake for a Hens Night, in the shape of a massive penis, and had such
merriment that she had given lots of advice to the ladies present on topics
such as ball balancing.
Il Capo nominated Strap On for the brilliant party he had
thrown for his daughter, complete with water slide, but he had forbidden the
adults from sliding. Sassy then nominated Sunny Side Up for finally getting her
boat back. Poumuli wanted to nominate Slim Shady for allowing her puppy to be
nearly eaten by Murdoch, but she countered that Poumuli had exposed himself. In
fact Il Capo’s daughter had yanked his shorts down. In the end all the beach
revellers – including Wahoo, Sean and Nettie took the down down.
Prue got a down down for trying to pick up a married
republican Yank, and Sassy nominated Screamer for streaming past Sean and
Godfather. Black Swan got a hasherlike behaviour for being at the Melbourne
Olympics.
The hosts and hare – Snake, Fang, guests Fred and Yvonne,
Mike, Morena and Lee were saluted.
Next week is Father’s Day so Godfather will host at Lupe’s.
Run will start at 2 PM.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
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