Friday, August 19, 2016

Hash Trash 1842

The Hash was hosted on this glorious Father’s Day by Godfather and Titty Galore at the beach in front of Lupe’s Bar in Siumu. We were all invited out early to enjoy the beach and a swim, and the crowd was significant. Godfather and Swinger had ambled off to set the run, so we started up the driveway to the main road. It was starting to get hot already. We reached the main road, and the trail went up one of the newly cut and covered roads – not. False trail. We then turned left on the main road, for quite a distance. It was by now bloody hot, as we reached the summit by the church in the next village over (sorry the sweat was clouding your Scribe’s vision) – false trail. The trail was reacquired heading through someone’s garden plots and into the forest. Did it get any cooler – no, as there was now no breeze and the humidity had risen. We waded through a river in the mangroves that appeared out of the heat haze, and then we were at the beach. Well, a mile away from our intended beach at Lupe’s anyway. The run along the water’s edge was a bit of a struggle as the tide was coming in. This mean that we had to wade up to our hips to get over the mangrove entrance by Coconuts, and continue along the beach. At Coconuts we took a turn through the woods, before re-entering Lupe’s whence we had come. By now we were so hot we evaporated the ocean when several Hashers jumped in at once. Godfather’s glistening nuts were appreciated by all.

POD as GM called the circle to order, having had to await Lewinsky’s attempts to get the keg flowing. New to Hash were David (med student from London), Mel from Auckland, and Rachel (local yogi). StrapOn and Nom Nom got the first awards because of names. Retreads were Jessica, Swinger, Lowrider, Transporter, Mona, joined by Lewinsky for inefficiency and Cockblocker for names.

Celebrity Awards went to Meg (on TV), Swinger (invasive species story in paper), and Lewinsky for ProBoner (front page photo).

This Day in History Awards went to a German (1248 – The foundation stone of Cologne Cathedral, built to house the relics of the Three Wise Men, is laid. (Construction is eventually completed in 1880.) – German efficiency, eh?), Captain Mortein (1843 – Tivoli Gardens, one of the oldest still intact amusement parks in the world, opens in Copenhagen, Denmark), StrapOn (1858 – U.S. President James Buchanan inaugurates the new transatlantic telegraph cable by exchanging greetings with Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom. However, a weak signal forces a shutdown of the service in a few weeks), Swinger (1916 – The Migratory Bird Treaty between Canada and the United States signed), Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: US President Bill Clinton admits in taped testimony that he had an "improper physical relationship" with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. On the same day he admits before the nation that he "misled people" about the relationship), and Poumuli for Wahoo (International Lefthanders Day).

Prince was appointed Shoe Inspector and failed. The GM then nominated Il Capo for living up to Hash name, as there had never been 7 Italians in the vicinity of Hash before. This was doubled for accoutrements – sunglasses.

Speaking of Italians, she called on the parents of Marco Polo who had been flirting with Sara – Pirate Princess took this one. A Parenting Award also went to Robert’s parents, Transporter and Lowrider, for bringing him to Hash and for his first saltwater swim. Rachel then got the Dome Of Silence for talking too much.

Sunny Side Up nominated Crime for the Heroes Award for his role in stopping the house fire on Beach Road. Godfather was proud of him. The GM wanted to give a Phelps Award for the prolific number of medals. She started off with Lewinsky, who swims, but settled on David for being a look-alike. Transporter joined for looking like young medallist Schooling.

Swinger nominated Crash for the Fiji 7s Award. Nom Nom then wanted to nominate Rachel for removing the Dome, but since David and Mel had not brought running gear, were on antibiotics, this one went to Nom Nom for not explaining the rules.

The GM had been digging for dirt, and had discovered that Black Swan had been out very late, there was something about Meg in rollers, and Jessica locking her out – no further information. Eveready was caught leaning.

StrapOn nominated CB for the fastest runner in the awful heat – or was it awful CB in the running heat? Meg nominated the Father’s Day Award for the Hasher with the most kids – Crime and Godfather.

We saluted the Hosts and Hares – Godfather, Titty Galore and Swinger, before descending on a scrumptious feast.

Next week will be hosted by Crime at Nafanua for BYO BBQ.
The week after will be hosted by Crash, and the week after by AC/DC.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

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