Friday, September 09, 2016

Hash Trash 1845 – the return of Tallyho!

The Hash was hosted by AC/DC at the Tokelau compound in Moamoa. A rainy and overcast day it was the perfect day for a run if you like running in a sauna, since the humidity at least locally was over 100%. We nevertheless bravely made our way out on the by now familiar route. Some Hashers decided that going all the way down to the Vaitele road was a bridge too far, and opted for a gentler return that took us past Don Bosco’s and up the familiar dirt trail. Over the surprisingly dry river, it was on home. Godfather was absent, but had sent his ever-shrinking nuts via Coconut Fedex and Poumuli. Thanks to StrapOn for the route of the  run below.

Tallyho, returned for a week, was unanimously elected GM for the night, or ad interim as they say in UN parlance. He congratulated AC/DC for becoming a fine upstanding member of the Tokelau administration, which was also attributed to less beer.

The GM called for the newbies to present themselves, and added a bunch of further request for detailed information from the new lady, Marie, a French medico. When asked what she specialised in, would it be old men, she replied – well what is wrong with you. Replying, well we’ll just have to find out she was given her first down down.

Retreads were Tallyho (been around, came back to check on us), AC/DC (planting), Jessica (with Tallyho?), Gayboy (working. Working what exactly?). Snake was appointed Shoe Inspector and failed – even to observe AC/DC jr.’s new shoes.

This Day in History Awards went to Snake (590 – Consecration of Pope Gregory I (Gregory the Great)), Silver Bullet (1698 – In an effort to Westernize his nobility, Tsar Peter I of Russia imposes a tax on beards for all men except the clergy and peasantry – this was deemed a fine rule for the Hash), Captain Mortein (1807 – The Royal Navy bombards Copenhagen with fire bombs and phosphorus rockets to prevent Denmark from surrendering its fleet to Napoleon), Lewinsky (1981 – Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women enters into force – he called his wife a bitch after the run), Nom Nom (Flag Day in Australia), Pirate Princess (Random Acts of Kindness Day) and Il Capo (Beyonce’s birthday).

Celebrity Awards went to Prue (for Slim Shady NOT being in the paper), Wahoo (photo claiming to be largest wahoo caught in Fiji), Lewinsky and Witch Doctor (menu at Nafanua), with Poumuli getting an accidental advertising award.

POD opined that we should also mention the 60 year anniversary of St Mary’s and nominated Karaoke for the award, joined by Eveready whose absence from the festivities had caused, erm, greater festivity.

Poumuli nominated Snake for Encouraging Underage Illegality, as Snake had opined that Captain Mortein should have done something nice to Pirate Princess 15 years ago. The GM then nominated StrapOn and Cunning Linguist for their scrambling in the river bed when there was a perfectly useful crossing 10 metres up.

Snake had been disturbed by the arriving Gayboy and his very sticky handshake. The GM advised him that he needed to change hands occasionally to avoid callus formation. The GM was then given a Facebook Celebrity Award by POD.

Sassy thought she had been the first to complete the Colour Run, only to be beat by Il Capo and Screamer. Il Capo explained that she had come late because of Nom Nom and Prue arriving late and hugover, and as they had walked the run they had let her win.

Sassy then nominated Captain Morten for Father of the Week for the several beatings and smackdowns administered on Marco Polo. Heather had been quietly working in her office when a large bang had set off, and nearly resulted in the assassination of her colleague Kerry – the Black Swan strikes again.

Gayboy nominated Prue for not recognising him on a drunken Friday night, but POD and Poumuli also backed this up with further anecdotal evidence.
The Hare and Hosts were saluted, before we sang the Hash Anthem for the departing Silver Bullet and Tallyho.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Ray Charles at AC/DCs place.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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