Hash Trash 1846

The Hash was hosted by Speedhumper and Aaron at their place in Vaoala. It was a bit complicated to find parking, but we all managed in the end. Speedhumper had stepped in at the last minute to host, so it was a bit organised as normal. The trail had only been set in her head, so she explained the various options to walkers, slowpokes and her own class of runner! Thus the walkers set off towards a dirt trail into the valley, while the runners went down to Bank Street, then up to Lamosa Road, then followed the walkers. The first part was sort of paved, past a herd of cows munching and farting. A rougher track then took over, with the first surprise being a malevolent looking bull, wearing an unattached chain. Into the bush there was a well defined path, most likely trodden by the cows given the amount of bovine excreta around, fertilising well the invasive but nice smelling Hawaiian roses. After some 200 metres the track actually split, and most took the upward path, when we should have gone the other way. The upward path led through some more glades, until a full stop in front of thick bush that we suspected bordered Lamosa. So a potential trail there for the future if we can combat the nasty dogs on Lamosa. On back to the house where the this time varied sized nuts of Godfather were waiting.

Il Capo was volunteered as GM for the evening, and called on the newbies. That was Aaron, brother of Arthur who works at Nafanua. He is a mechanic and has been here a long time. Then there was Malu, guest of Cunning Linguist.

Retreads were Pusiapa (taupo for 46 boys in Oz), Speedhumper and Aaron (busy), Ring Ring (Hawaii), Titty Galore (busy) and Angry Bird (birding). Vikki was appointed Shoe Inspector and failed, even though Nom Nom’s jandals were too big.

Celebrity Awards went to Godfather (in the paper) and Poumuli (for false accusation on Lewinsky see below).

This Day in History Awards went to Speedhumper, Poumuli, Godfather and Eveready (as former marathon runners for 490 BC – Battle of Marathon: The conventionally accepted date for the Battle of Marathon. The Athenians and their Plataean allies, defeat the first Persian invasion force of Greece), Nom Nom (International Literacy Day), Godfather (World Suicide Prevention Day) and Eveready (International Chocolate Day).

Turning to the GM’s Awards, she called forth Lewinsky and StrapOn, and asked if Lewinsky had played with his ball, and then thrown it too hard and away. Conceding the point, the bastards got away with small glasses.

Pusiapa was then awarded for taking 46 Samoan boys to Australia and getting them all back safely, making lots of money for the school. Crime was then awarded for getting lost on the trail, while Nom Nom got the Water Bitch Award for doing the King of Mt Vaea and not running. Finally, the GM rewarded Witch Doctor and Arthur for the best fries ever!

POD nominated Snake for the Sympathy Award, as he always gets excited when Il Capo bends over or rubs herself, but when Rachel comes to Hash she always grabs Prue which sets him no end on edge.

Cunning Linguist wanted to give a Disrespecting the GM Award to the Hash Mere who called out “in English please!”, but because he called her Ling Ling, he got to take it himself. Poumuli then nominated Lewinsky for the Medical Miracle Award, in that when he stopped drinking beer for a month and re-started, he gave himself a yeast infection.

Speedhumper nominated Aaron and Angry Bird for dropping the sausages and then mixing them back in with the rest. Nom Nom gave Crime a Congratulatory Award for paddling to Savaii and then making it back to work at 5. Vikki tried to nominate the two german brothers for angering the bull, but got the names mixed up and took it herself.

Poumuli tried to nominate Lewinsky and was rescued by POD who said he had been on the news. But for Ms Samoa Poumuli had to join, as he is her supervisor at SPREP. POD nominated Il Capo for running Mt Vaea and beating her own record, and then not going into her usual dehydration shock afterwards. Snake commended POD for her most entertaining dobs this evening, but instead took a Sucking Up Award.

Eveready reminded of the anniversary of 11 September, a dark day in US history, and the demise of the Twin Towers. He called for Sunny Side Up to take this one, joined by Latecummer Alex, as well as Angry Bird for some reason.

Cunning Linguist had noted the common fashion theme of several Hash Meres, and ascribed it to identity crisis, as they were all wearing white and black stripes – Pusiapa, Black Swan and Titty Galore got the Dead Zebras Award.

Poumuli then did the Chicken Action Dance for another down down, joined by Pusiapa for leaning.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Nom Nom, Prue, Rachel at somewhere in Apia Park. Note that its International Talk like A Pirate Day. The Assistant Trainee Scribe will be Pusiapa.

The hosts and hare were saluted and then we scarfed sausages.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit