Monday, September 26, 2016

Hash Trash 1847

This weeks run was hosted by Captain 'No Beard but i'm going to wave around my scary double hook' Nom Nom, and his buxom wenches Rachel and Prue.  

Many pirates young and old rose to the occasion and got decked out in their finest attire. To ensure nobody had to walk the  plank too early, the hosts provided eye patches for everyone! 

The run was set by the Captain himself, who seemed to have forgotten his compass as he set the trail to the pirate booty on his map, as he left way too many options for the lazier pirates to cheat and get back early. 

Upon return from the run, 'HASH CASH' was called by the wenches POD and Slim Shady. Following presentations by many $50 tala notes (who got paid this week?) The words were quickly changed to 'hand over your booty! Gold bouillons and jewelry happily accepted!' .

The circle began with Admiral Black Swan, as GM and her first mate Pusiapa taking notes as Poumouli our usual scribe was noted to be off pillaging and plundering elsewhere. 

Newbie pirates included  Trish, Matt, Vicki's Mum Mamisita, and Selena (Pirate Lesters better half).
Only Captain Nom Nom scored a downdown as his first mate did not know his Hash name. 

Retreads for the week: Pirate CB, was apparently 'working'. Pirate Kiran had got lost at sea and found himself on the big island of Australia - thanks to some kind mermaids he made his way safely back home. Desperate Housewife  and her daughter 'Beer Wench' claim that living in Fiji had prevented them coming, however they missed everyone so came tonight.  Pirate Lester was on a secret rendezvous.....

Buxom wench Meg was appointed shoe inspector and failed dismally as she was not able to identify anyone to walk the plank, therefore having to do it herself.  

Pirates of the Caribbean stars this week (Celebrities) included
Buxom Wench Sunnyside up, Buxom Wench Witch Doctor for being on the radio, Slim Shady was on the news and Pirate Lewinksy was seen 'tossin' his rocks' in the paper. Pirate Strap On was nominated for an article in the Guardian newspaper about 'dreadlocked strap ons'. 

This day in history:
In 1356 Edward the Black Prince was captured by France, as Prince was too busy with buxom wenches elsewhere, Gayboy took the award for being the closest living relative. The 'full of hot air award' was given to Captain Nom Nom and CB in place of Snake. Wench Il Capo took the award for being the most beautiful wench in Italy, Wench Prue took the downdown to celebrate NZ allowing all wenches to vote. 

Run Nominations: 
Buxom wench Sassy nominated Richard for paying too close attention to Captain Nom Noms navigational skills and being unable to follow directions and 'read the signs'.  Captain Mortein and his first mate Kiran were caught leaning, and Gayboy was forced to walk the plank after bragging about how big and strong his sword was. 

Buxom Wench Slim Shady was nominated for the 'piece of shit award' after neglecting Screamer and forcing her to taxi all the way to the pirate ship dock (airport) by herself.  Buxom Wench DHW was nominated for excessive use, but deemed by the pirate crew as 'good Hase mere behaviour' and was quickly deflected to the Buxom Wench Sassy Girl for being a 'whinging bitch'. 

Buxom wench Rachel was nominated by Slim Shady for the two of them  'entering through the back door' at the fashion show, proving that the girls will do anything for a free show! 

Pirate Cunning Linguist was caught proving he knew how to 'Shiver a girls timbers' and he and Malu were  quickly given the get a room below deck award - come on! There were little pirates present!

Captain Nom Nom was nominated for his small hook, but maintained it was  'all the better to explore the island with'. 

Pirate Lewinsky was given a double - phone award and ungrateful pirate husband as he did not feel the costume that his wife POD was suitable and or good enough for the occasion. Buxom Wench POD was quickly asked to join her knave of a pirate husband for being a 'consummate wife after all'. 

Yet again, Buxom Wench Sassy was again nominated, this time for her obscene physical gestures in front of the little pirates. Don't forget, Sass, if you salute your Captain, it's four fingers, not one. She was quickly joined by Slim Shady for her maestro skills, and Strap On for his pepelo about ''conveniently losing his uke' in the lead up to the hash run. 

Buxom wench Vicki was caught leaning,  and Wench Prue was nominated for her Madonnaesque but excellentl piratey costume - which was followed quickly by a rendition of 'Like a Virign'. 

Buxom wench - Pusiapa was forced to walk the plank for being lazy and not standing up to take notes, even after she claimed she was vertically reading map challenged. 

The final nomination went to CB for living up to his name and cock blocking Gayboy with his own girlfriend.  CB had prevented Gayboy from being able to get some pirate booty on board his ship, because he needed a ride home from the airport. 

A final downdown for our hare and hosts - Captain Nom Nom, Rachel and Prue!

OnOn! 


 Pusiapa :) 

2 comments:

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