Saturday, January 24, 2009

GM's Valentines Day Message

Greetings again from the Hash Mismanagement crew. Hope your New Year’s resolutions are still on track. What? .. you haven’t started yet? Well, not to worry, 2009 is just started. Just the fact that you’ve made the effort to generate a new years resolution says to me that you are now on the right track and you are facing the right direction. Just because you’re not moving is a minor detail that can easily be remedied. Forget the doomsday sayers who say that it’s the same resolution for the last 7 years!! To them I say the fact that you’ve got the bat in your hands and you’ve stepped up to the plate swinging is more important. And as sure as the night follows day, you will eventually hit the ball. You have to – it’s the law of the universe. You have the GMs word on it.

Maybe the seventh year is when you will hit the ball clear out of the park.

OK enough of that so I can get on with the business at hand. Many of you, maybe all of you might be surprised to know that Valentines Day is one of the GMs favourite days of the year. I know it’s hard to believe that behind this hard-as-rock exterior and behind this solid one pack and buns of steel is a romantic core. But its true and to understand this seeming paradox you’d have to go back just a few years ago when the GM was a young stud (he’s still a stud but just not as young). I’m only relating this story because there is a point to be made from it.

Anyway, back to the story.

One winter day I partied late into the night. The next day I woke up late so I rushed around trying to get ready for work. So right off the bat, I had started my day off on the wrong foot. And as is generally the case, as the day wore on, it got worse. Anyway, I walked out the front door to find three feet of snow on the ground. So I went back into the house, put on my rubber boots and my gloves, and went outside to shovel my driveway so I could drive to work. After 45 minutes I got the driveway cleared. So I jumped into my car and rushed off to get to work as fast as I could go, even though I was already over two hours late. Halfway to work I discovered that I still had my rubber boots on, so now I’ll have to wear rubber boots all day at work. In addition, I had forgotten my employee badge so now I would have to call my boss to come down and sign me in, something he does not like to do. Before I had even gotten to work, I’m already in a bad mood and it was shaping up to be a really bad day.

About a quarter mile from work, I drove by one of my co-worker’s house. I always drive by her house because I had the hots for her. She had an ass that just wouldn’t quit. When I passed her house I looked over and saw her car stuck on the side of her driveway with the hood open, so I stopped to see if she needed help. She had driven off the driveway and gotten stuck, then killed her battery trying to restart the car.

This was just the break I was hoping for. In about ten seconds I had her car back on the driveway and the car running again. She insisted she buy me lunch to repay me and of course I accepted, after a very weak attempt at rejecting.

There’s a lot more to this story but I’m going to stop here because I can now make my point. And here it is. From the time I woke up to then, I had been having a real bad day and I had already made up my mind that the day was not going to get any better. But after she asked me to lunch something amazing happened. My day made a complete turn around and within minutes my entire outlook on life had made a complete U-turn.

I went from low as dirt to flying high on cloud nine. I didn’t even mind my boss chewing me out for forgetting my badge and I almost enjoyed wearing my rubber boots at work. The thing is, my day was still the same day and many other things went wrong, but do you think for one moment that it got me down… no way Hosay. I was flying high all that day and of course all night too!! But let’s not go there.

The moral of the story is this – the proclamation that love makes the world go round is as true as it comes. So what am I saying here. OK, here it is. If you want to have a super day, if you want to be in a good mood all day, you’ve got to inject some love and romance into your life. Do something for the love of your life and happiness will be knocking at your front door before you know it

So for Valentines Day this year, why don’t you make it a little more special. How do you do that you ask? Here’s a yardstick you can use. Seven years from now, (that too long?) OK, how about six months from now, will they remember what happened on Valentines Day? If it can withstand the test of time then I say, you’re on the right track. If there’s one thing that can be called the kiss-of-death in love and romance its BOREDOM. Believe me when I say that because I’m taking that directly out of Eveready’s Book of Love. I’m talking from experience here folks (maybe someday I’ll tell you the story behind that ).

Hundreds and thousands of people through the ages have spent entire fortunes looking for the elixir of life. Well look no further my hash friends the GM can sum it up in one word… LOVE. So make love work for you. Use it to your gain, that’s what its there for. Let it bring you happiness. Let it give you a high no drugs can touch. As Skanky put it so eloquently, let it put butterflies in your bosom. Put the pedal to the medal; no speed limits where you’re going.

In love and romance, time invested is never time wasted.

So good luck and may you drown in the sea of love.


PS: If this prescription doesn’t work for you, don’t call the GM, he’ll be too busy executing his own Valentines Day plan. Lets see, V drinks – check, whipped cream – check, AA batteries – check, handcuffs - check, check, check. OK, The Love Boat is ready to sail!!


  1. Well well welll....we have our very own Rupert Brooks in our midst." so pure, it takes my breath away..."or was it my pants.. LOL... i love it GM!!! fantastic message and i can vouch for Love as being the elixir of life. Living and breathing it!!! Happy Valentine to All.

  2. I want to know what he's going to do with the handcuffs!!!!
    On on - I guess

  3. Bahahahaha! this was great! I want to know what the GM does for valentines so I can gloat about it to the hubby who forgot our anniversay last week!! Tee hee!!