Princess of Darkness had returned and took up her GM duties with relish. There was only one new to Apia Hash and that was Kaylen, a Peace Corps volunteer, who has been here for a whole year and only now made it! She said she had been brought by someone called Spunky, so both she and Spanky took the inaugural award of the evening. The Rethreads were Tallyho (in Fjij), Godfather (in NZ), Allan (skiving), Susan (probably blueskying), Jenny (US), Screamer (something mind bogglingly dull) and Lewinsky (family concerns).
The GM recoiled in blinded horror at the sight of Spanky’s bright new shoes, so they were quickly filled and gulped from after Lewinsky confirmed their non-smelliness. Allan was asked why he wasn’t wearing his new shoes, as these had been spotted, so the GM made him drink from Spanky’s shoe also. Turning to other events, the GM had been told that Do Me Twice had arranged for a traffic light party at Y-Not (colours indicating stop or go status), only to see Cockblocker show up in a yellow top, red shorts and green underpants. The GM gave him the Mixed Messages Award, only to be joined by Swinger who was by now wearing a garish lei and the flower in the wrong ear.
As today was St. Valentine’s Day, the GM asked if any hashers had given flowers to persons other than their special one. Apparently Lewinsky was guilty of this one. Celebrity Awards went to Tiger Woody for spitting (closest relative was found, but not remembered), Wax for Observer Story on Samoans in Germany, Zsa Zsa for Hot Nuts being in the Waitangi photo, Tallyho for being a Pom, Poumuli for the PIFS SG, Snatch for media blunder (Hang Your HRPP Candidate) and Susan for not consulting all Samoatel employees (SOTB is missing of course). (For next week we will also need to note this celebrity below!)
This Year in History – Gresham’s School was founded in 1555 (Poumuli is alumnus). This Day in History, in 842 Charles the Bald and Louis the German swore the Oath of Strasbourg in French and German, so Ophelie and Wax did the honors, joined by the follicle-challenged, less than hirsute Brazilian Wax and Godfather. Latecummer Award went to Kiss My Butt and a telephones interruptus to a va’a crewmember. The GM demanded that Crime now wears the Dome of Silence as he was chattering the whole time! Godfather, who had wished Ophelie a Happy Valentine’s Day, asked if any hashers who had not asked anyone of such to step forward – Lewinsky and Jeff the AYAB!
Opening up to nominations from the floor, Dan the Bonebreaker was nominated by his wife for not announcing his Pom background earlier, while he tried to get someone called James implicated. In the end both took the Deceptive Silence Award, with a double for Dan. Poumuli nominated DMT for the Eager Beaver Award for finding out about National Toothache Day. Wane and Jenny joined in this US-conspired celebration in light of Hershey’s chocolates coming from their country. Swinger then wanted all the singles to come forward for a Valentines Special, but Brazilian spotted another confused flower wearer, so Bruce took it all alone.
A final nomination went to Snatch, who had been shocked by CB criticizing Screamer’s ability to shoo away dogs (the old alu trick). After a lengthy demonstration and much mirth it was decided that Screamer didn’t know what she was doing, and Slippery was too much of an alleycat to pass for a Samoan dog.
The host and the hare, Screamer and Ring Ring were saluted, and the feast of curry, salads and bbq was snarfled up.
Next week’s run will be hosted by Bruce and Annie opposite Manumea in Vailima.
On On Poumuli, IKA Slit
The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the 'Style Invitational'.
ReplyDeleteThe requirements this week were to use the two words 'Lewinsky' (the Intern) and 'Kaczynski' (the Unabomber) in the same limerick.
Now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps or xxxs:
Third place:
There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas 'Hail to the Chief'
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.
Second place:
Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky.
And the winning entry:
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown.