Hash Trash 1563

Your Scribe is back from overseas purgatory, and will endeavour to produce the Trash on time.

The Hash was hosted by Slippery in To’omatagi up by the National University of Samoa. A kerfuffle had been caused by the non-appearance of Crime to set the trail, but Strangler was on hand to give it a go as Hare. Slippery explained that the trail was set on paper and on on we went out the gate. We followed the To’omatagi road up for a bit before launching us through someone’s garden and down a slippery hill. We have run this way before, but ended up in a dead-end. Strangler had found a connection to another garden which eventually took us out onto the Vaimauga Road. We went up and down a bit here, as Cockblocker and the hyper-fit bunch brought by Dumas couldn’t spot the trail. We ended up doing far more exercise keeping up, but eventually we headed down to Vaivase-uta Road, then Vaivase-tai and back. A good and interesting run made all the better by the light rain.

Back at Slippery’s Princess of Darkness filled in for a hopelessly hung-over GM. She called forth those new to Hash, they were Hans, Moana who had been brought by Pirate Princess and Captain Mortein (he whooped at her diligent response), and Bruce from APTC who had come with someone called Mike. The GM made him drink for disrespecting and being a cheeky bastard. The rethreads were Poumuli, Wahoo, Chook, CB and Hot Rod. Poumuli then made a point of order since the Assistant Maestro Slim Shady had started the song before explanations of absence could be made.

Snake the Shoe Inspector couldn’t find anything initially, but Pirate Princess yelled out that CB was hiding his shoes and that they looked very new. CB protested that he had drunk from them before, but went along with it anyway. Pirate Princess joined for false accusation. On the topic of shoes, the GM was told that one of the Hash Meres lost a shoe on the trail, only to pick up a stray jandal and continuing merrily along. Wild Turkey got the Islander Award. Spanky pointed out the nice hat she was wearing during the award, so it was doubled. But in helping her as whipping girl, Spanky was wearing same said hat, so she also got another.

On this day in history, Poumuli informed the Hash that in 1775 it was the last time that they burned a witch in Germany – this one went to SOTB, Johanna, joined by Tasha for bitchcraft, and it was also the day in 1999 that Clinton got indicted for contempt of court for giving intentionally false statements about – Lewinsky. Tiger Woody had to join him as he was not blowing Monica.

Celebrity Awards were brought to us by SOTB. There was Ninja (in the Observer), Spanky (TV?), Wahoo (Rotary at Manumea story) and Lewinsky for story on HQ (your Scribe couldn’t get the whole story). Bunga Bunga was also in the paper, but nearest living relative was forgotten. During this CB dropped a full cup of golden nectar, and Pirate Princess pointed out Karaoke’s hip-shaking butt-swinging.

Opening up for nominations, Vai Vai was too quick off the mark in trying to get Hot Rod one for running in jandals. Total utter backfire! We are in Samoa, hello! Tasha nominated Karaoke and Eveready for leaving her behind on the trail, reducing her to tears behind someone’s toilet (“well that’s been known to happen” noted SOTB). Eveready launched into a vigorous FBI defence, culminating in his counter that Snake should get it as he was behind, and that he only shouts out On On at home! The defence breasts. The GM decreed that Snake join Eveready and Tasha in a Hash Sandwich. Poumuli tried to get a repeat as the sandwich re-enactment had been faulty – Snake should have been the meat, but was turned down.

We then had a Birthday Award for Lewinsky, accompanied by the most horrific caterwauling of Happy Birthday, probably thanks to Strangler and Slim Shady. Bruce got a Sour Grapes Award for something. Chook tried to get two chariot riders punished but mistook Pirate Princess for Princess of Darkness, and had to Join her and Moana for the award. There was also a Master Chef Award for the BBQ masters, who joined the Host and the Hares for the salute.

Trying to wrap things up, the GM was interrupted by Tiger Woody’s cellphone. The glitch in setting the run went to Crime, who tried the I Have No Car defence. Poumuli tried to get SOTB for Dereliction of Duty in not getting an Assistant Scribe the last two weeks, but this instead went to Slim Shady and Poumuli.

Next week’s run was supposed to be hosted by Dave and Theresa in Vailima, but they cancelled towards the end of the evening. Instead this will now be a BYO run at Snakepit #2, details will be posted on the blog.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit