The Hash was hosted by Hash at Snakepit #2, in Vaitele. A bright day with some rain threatening, but it didn’t appear. So it was off for a hot slog down the roads of Vaitele, courtesy of the Hare – Tiger Woody (AKA Kiwi).He had set the run on flour and there was a lot of space between the marks, seeking to ensure that the pack stayed together. And boy did Cockblocker and the paddlers find lots of false trails. Basically the trail took us all around the backstreets of Vaitele until we came back down the hill past Moata Samoa. A fairly arduous run that got the heart pumping – malo Kiwi.
The GM, SOTB was absent with undisclosed diseases ravaging him, so Hot Nuts stepped in for the evening. He called forth those new to Hash, and that was Diane from the Cook Islands, with us for at least 3 years. The rethreads were Hot Nuts, Screamer, Swinger and Fang. They had been travelling all. After the award, POD made a point of order, as Dev had not fessed up to being a rethread, for which he was suitably rewarded.
On this day in history, Poumuli could inform that Brazilian armed forces had liberated the town of Montese in Italy (1945), and this one went to Wax as closest living relative. It was also Bicycle Day which went to Swinger and Hot Nuts. Opening up for nominations from the floor, Swinger was nominated for not running Hash while in Fiji.
Vai Vai opined that a letter written to the Observer some weeks ago had to be a work of fiction, as it referenced Poumuli as a responsible drinker and dabbler in witchcraft. Protests that this had caused a down down at the time didn’t stick, so Poumuli took it like a man, so fast the GM missed it.
Tasha nominated Alfred for breaking off the knob again on the Hash BBQ. Do Me Twice tried to back her up but inadvertently used Lewinsky’s other name, and joined Tasha and Alfred in the Knob Fixation Award. Lewinsky nominated Screamer for taking a seductive phone call during the circle, which turned out to also include best wishes from the va’a crew.
Karaoke nominated Nutcracker for the Freakout Award, as she had screamed “no vagina cake” should be made for Hot Nuts birthday! As if she would create something like that. Well she did make a Barney Cake for Lewinsky so its not a far cry from that, after all Barney is a real C@#&. The GM was joined by POD for his birthday award. At this stage we couldn’t sing too loud as the family next door were having their sa.
Tasha had been on Rock the Boat, no surprises there, and then Ynot and had observed the very public argumentation between CB and DMT. POD informed us that SOTB had promised to bring the gas for the BBQ but hadn’t, so Lack of Gas Award went to closest living relative, former flatmate DMT, who staggered back in the circle.
Swinger nominated Dev for the Leaning on Fa’fafine Award – that’s just not on! Latecummers Spanky and Proboner were then greeted into the circle, but drank so damned slow the GM nearly fell asleep. CB then nominated Proboner for the Anti-conservation Award for her Exxon Mobil t-shirt.
Screamer explained how she and Spanky had been having a nice quiet dinner at the Yacht Club, when they were rudely interrupted by Poumuli and Wahoo seeking a place to sit. CB tried to explain his side of the story as they had also had free seats at their table. Poumuli chose to stab him in the back by concocting a story on DMT and CB.
The GM awarded the Troopers Award to Eveready and Snake for getting the gas. DMT nominated Dev for his “Getting High At Hash”t-shirt, and he was joined by Eveready for his extraordinary flashing t-shirt. Vai Vai was about to make a nomination based on the run, but then caught newbies Mike and Rene snuggling in the circle. This is not on – they should look to examples of such prudish self-restraint as Hot Nuts and Nutcracker, POD and Lewinsky, or even Poumuli who hadn’t even brought Wahoo! Rene had to take two for wearing sunglasses.
Eveready nominated Wax for driving her roommate home due to some undisclosed ailments – not quite sure about that one. Poumuli nominated Diane for the Preservation of Marriage Award for taking on so much of his work travel. Snake exclaimed that she must be a Hasher as she warmed the beer! ProBoner caught Tasha with cellphonus interruptus. POD nominated Karaoke and Eveready for the Cutest Couple Ever, but Karaoke claimed the flasher didn’t work! Eveready also nominated Screamer for the violated house sitter award. Lewinsky and CB were also brought in for their incessant chatter. We must retrieve the Dome of Silence!
Proboner nominated Lewinsky for leaving the GM hanging with no beer, but Lewinsky claimed that his runner CB wasn’t working. After calling Lewinsky a dick, the sole award went to CB. Mike nominated Tiger Woody for constantly breaking out of the circle, and this was doubled for his services to CB exhaustion for making him run all those extra false trails. As we had no Hosts per se, Spanky, Snake and Fang were saluted for their efforts.
Next week’s run will be on Easter Monday at Sinalei. Godfather has asked that we arrive by 12 and run by 2 PM.
The GM closed the circle with the piece of advice to any would be acting GMs in the future – always keep POD by your side!
Video clip below in honor of Bicycle Day!
Poumuli, IKA Slit