The Hash was hosted at the Millennia Hotel by AC/DC, Ray Charles and Lezzie, except the latter was a no-show. As per his usual, AC/DC had not actually set a trail, and instead directed us on a run around town, down to Magik Cinemas, past the school and on to the Samoatel HQ, then back along the seafront. So a decent length run, except it was rather dull. AC/DC’s claim that he was conscious of all the trash in town was greeted with derision, but we forgot to add it to his awards.
SOTB miraculously took up his duties as GM – this is becoming a winning streak! He called forth those new to Apia Hash, and these were Streaker, brought by his Dad Pussyindah, and Holes, brought by Godfather. The Rethreads were Slippery, Alfred, Tooth Fairy, Andrew, Pussyindah, Mad Mel (last time was the 1000th run), Steakman, Julia (also here for the 1000th run) and Redleg (was here in 94). Redleg forgot to remove his hat, so was duly rewarded with a double.
Shoe Inspector Lewinsky found no new shoes and took his Failure Award. Celebrity Awards went to Pussysnatcher, Snatch, Zsa Zsa and Sassygirl BJ – Captain Mortein was deemed again to be closest to Hungary, Do Me Twice for PS, and Lewinsky for Snatch due to Savaiian connections. Latecummers Chilindrina, Tiger Woody and Dumass were also dobbed in.
This Day In History was interesting as a new word has been added to the Urban Dictionary – aarping, or to aarp – defined as when an elderly person, such as a grandfather, complains incessantly about nothing. Karaoke went to Eveready’s defence that he never complains and never says no, but he got it anyway. 27 June 1954 was first recorded mass violence at a soccer match, both on and off the field. This was between Hungary and Brazil, so Chilindrina and Wax took that one in lieu. 28 June 1969 was the Stonewall riots that started up the gay rights movement – AC/DC.
Greenie was spotted sitting down during the circle! His lame defence was that he had seen a new lady and wanted to chat – in the circle! The GM continued by giving a Slavedrivers Award to Lewinsky and Crash Bandicoot – Flash Gordon was back for a funeral, and had been worked so hard by the two that he was too tired to come to Hash.
The GM had also received an email from Immigration regarding a new overstayer – Steakman got the Dawn Raid Award. The GM also had enjoyed a beer after last week’s run with the host, Seismic, but he had dropped full beers and left the tap open – Sacrilege Award to Seismic. On a similar topic, we were all marvelling at the absence of the Hash Mugs, and Crash had assured that they were at his house. Not! They were at Lewinsky’s, and since neither had brought them, both took the Gross Negligence Award.
Opening up for nominations, Redleg recalled that back in 94 the first run in Savaii had been set, and they had all stayed at Manase at the Stephenson’s then new place. So new in fact that they had been given a key to a room with no door. The Better Late than Never Award went down Lewinsky very slowly.
Poumuli asked the GM to control Greenie’s talking which he did using the implement of a large down down. Didn’t work for long though. Sassy commented on the fact that none had really followed the theme of Pacific Style for the run, but that Seismic and Tickled were well-turned out, yet didn’t even run. Ring Ring was given the Good Parenting Award for stopping Buzzer from having a beer – although not much consistency here, as we all know.
Poumuli had been sent some pictures of the wedding by Strangler, and luckily he checked them before posting. One of the photos, while censored, was fairly graphic. But asking the GM for advice on posting it was like talking to a brick wall. So the GM took the Inducement to Pornography Award. Sassy nominated Steakman for Unbecoming Behaviour for pinching her ass on the run. Horny Ho had some cellphonus interruptus. Pussyindah complained about the late posting of the venue on the blog. Poumuli admitted that he could have posted it at 8 AM, but forgot where it was going to be.
The Mad Hash Monk appeared, and called forth Alfred. Kneeling in front of her might she praised his agile handling of sausages, and henceforth he shall be known as Curly.
DMT was dobbed in for yapping and jabbering. Horny Ho got Lewinsky for Malicious Advice, in that she had brought the BBQ at his insistence, when clearly it was not needed. Sassy nominated Dumass, Titty Galore, DMT and Horny Ho for the successful paddling regatta over the weekend. Dumass responded that they were late for the race because there was no finishing line, which was the task set for Sassy and the GM. The GM ruled that no, this was Dumass’ duty, and moreover his jetski had died at an inappropriate time. Titty G nominated Godfather for wearing the skimpiest outfit to the regatta. Titty G had to join in for apparently putting Godfather off his stroke.
The Hosts were saluted, AC/DC and Ray Charles. Poumuli suggested that since the was no Hare, that those with no hair should be rewarded. However, Godfather offered to prove he had hair, which would have been too much for the Hash Meres, and a riot was narrowly averted.
Next week’s run will be hosted by Swinger in Siusega, as a farewell to Wax. It will have a fairy tale theme. Details will be on the blog.
Your Scribe and Wahoo will be away for three weeks so Tallyho has graciously accepted to be the Assistant Scribe for the duration. Please expect grotesquely cynical prose and unwarranted slurs, but assist him with names and by shutting up during the circle.
Thanks to Slippery for the photos from this week’s Hash, already posted.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Hash Run 1575- Millenia Hotel with ACDC, Ray Charles, Lezzie and crew
Afternoon All,
Apologies for the late posting. Tonight's run will be hosted by ACDC, RC, Lezzie and others at the Tiafau Fale at Hotel Millenia. The hosts have kindly offered to cater and I hear there will be all kinds of neat treats and meals.
The theme for tonight is "Pacific Style" so don your best or worst Pacific wear and come for a run. There will also be 2 Kegs tonight, yes, TWO!!!, so bring your drinking boots with you too...
Run starts at 1730Hrs and bring a change of clothes and your hash cash ($15 SAT)
On On....map below...
Apologies for the late posting. Tonight's run will be hosted by ACDC, RC, Lezzie and others at the Tiafau Fale at Hotel Millenia. The hosts have kindly offered to cater and I hear there will be all kinds of neat treats and meals.
The theme for tonight is "Pacific Style" so don your best or worst Pacific wear and come for a run. There will also be 2 Kegs tonight, yes, TWO!!!, so bring your drinking boots with you too...
Run starts at 1730Hrs and bring a change of clothes and your hash cash ($15 SAT)
On On....map below...
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Hash Trash 1574
The Hash was hosted by Dave and Theresa at their home in Vailima. Dave was a newbie Hare and requested the assistance of your Scribe, who acted largely in a bag-carrying capacity. The difficulties in finding a trail made it necessary to have this as a run that would end, then backtrack back on home. Of course, the Hash was not told this. The pack set out, led jauntily by Tallyho, Hot Nuts and other fit people. A false trail down to Manumea was quickly discounted by Captain Mortein, and the false trail to Mt Vaea attracted a large following that needed to be called back (please all note – if the paper disappears you are going in the wrong direction). The nicely placed arrow by Ray’s Taxis had been disintegrated by a combination of wind and local pickaninnies, so the route was now blindingly obvious for a while. However, another sneaky false trail led into the plantations and this was taken by several, including Pussysnatcher and Hot Nuts. Further down towards the water reservoirs there was another false trail leading up into the water fall – again the paper ended, but PS did some serious mountaineering making us think he was already trying to escape! The trail then ended in a On Home sign, which was not greeted with universal joy by the Hashers.
Back at the house, Son of The Bitch took up his GM duties again, seemingly recovered from the weekend. He welcomed those new to Apia Hash, namely Nadine from NZ, brought by ProBoner, and Naoko from Japan, here until March, brought by Ninja. Since they knew the rules the GM decided to test their down-down skills. The only Rethread was Tallyho, who protested that his hashing in Tonga should be counted against his absence, resulting in the inevitable doubling of the award.
Lewinsky stepped in as Shoe Inspector, and while all had seen Captain Mortein’s glorious new shoes, the proof could not be located. Screamer’s shoes were given a once over, but she claimed that they had been tried and tested before, much like Screamer according to Tallyho. Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (letter to the Editor), Godfather (large spread in paper, and closest relative to Alan so a double), Josh (for having same name as Josh – Rock the Boat ad with Bunga Bunga – missed relative for her), and Spanky for the headline PM meets Fugitive (Crime and ProBoner took that one).
This Day in History the US Congress approved the Great Seal (1782) and two hashers had pretended to be seals during Hash 1573 (not the Navy variety, just large, furry and in the water – I know this was in last week’s trash but still amusing) – SOTB and Lewinsky. It was also International Surfing Day so theirs was doubled. Zsa Zsa was absent for the Day of Independent Hungary, but since Denmark is fairly close (not really) to Hungary this went to Captain Mortein, with the inevitable grumblings.
The GM launched into his own awards, berating Hot Nuts, PS and Godfather for leaving their stuff behind at the beach. They missed Poumuli’s cooler, which has now been abdicated. On Sunday the GM had been challenged to a jousting contest by Poumuli, which he gracefully conceded to the surfing talents and obvious cheating of the GM who broke his jousting stick.
Normally some of our Hashers bring their kids, but during the wedding there was a serious lockdown in one family, quite unheard of as we noted little Ninja running around. Good Parenting Award to Ninja sr. who took it in Coke, so it was a long way going down.
One of the Hashers was having a beer with the GM on Sunday, and went away to relieve himself, but in a moment of confusion went to close to the waves and had his front drenched. Well that was Lewinsky’s story, but we all know he wet himself. Finally Poumuli’s t-shirt of Norwegian comedian Rolf Wesenlund portraying his character Marve Fleksnes was deemed to close to being a Gaddaffi-lookalike. Several culturally insensitive remarks came, like Norway doesn’t have any comedians, to the delighted chuckle of the Captain.
It was also the birthday of our host Dave, who apparently will be celebrating in Vienna? The GM then gave his final award to Orgy Georgie, who was no longer disappearing into bushes and was apparently behaving himself throughout – a Not Living Up to Name Award.
Opening for nominations from the floor, Sassygirl BJ recalled that we had all wanted the GM to speak on behalf of the Hash at the wedding, but he got himself so shitfaced Godfather had to do it. Well – true, but we all preferred Godfather’s sonorous tones to the usual slurring by the GM.
Poumuli nominated SOTB for a Spelling Bee Award, since the new webpage for the 1600th Hash has got heaps of spelling mistakes. For some reason Poumuli had to join this one. And the slacking bastard still hasn’t fixed it on the blog! Lewinsky nominated ProBoner for borrowing his truck and snapping of the key in the lock. Obviously practice for future jailbreaks.
Buzzer nominated PS for subjecting him to hard labour in carrying all these boxes. PS took it but corrected that it was indeed a Child Labour Award. Latecummers Snatch and PS sr were welcomed into the circle.
Buzzer also had a nomination for a Hasher who had been particularly annoying him on the run by constantly coming up behind him and shouting. This extremely dodgy, suspicious and likely illegal activity landed Hot Nuts the Running Behind Boys Award. Sassy gave SOTB a Geek Award for wasting his time developing a Hash Website app during work hours, to which SOTB gave the company motto Family First for his award.
Sassy, on a dangerous roll, gave Ring Ring the Good Parenting (NOT!) Award for boozing with her boys. While she claimed this was not true, she gave the last of her glass to Buzzer. We then had a Real Celebrity Award to visiting radio guru Clement.
By now Tallyho had his goat up and ranted about how the wedding hadn’t been postponed to take account of his travels. After much back and forth this one backfired, with mutterings of “justice will come to you” hanging in the air! We had cellphonus interruptus by Pirate Princess and Ida from Japan, whose wife thoughtfully hurled the last of the cup at Lewinsky. Well done, we need more of that.
Proboner wanted her friend Nadine for being a tease to the Samoan boys ever since arriving. Something about cockblocking and jealousy caused her to join the award.
And at that point the Hash Monk appeared (or rather the Transformer Hash Monk). She called forth OG’s lovely lady, who 18 months ago had disappeared in the bushes and was now carrying the results, and that she had also been stargazing at the time. Henceforth she shall be known as Stargasm.
Theresa was called forth, and her husband is a star fisher, who apparently can land large fish by tickling their belly or throat. Henceforth she shall be known as Tickled.
Dave was then called forth, our resident tectonic plate expert, who shall now be known as Seismic.
As we saluted the Hash Monk, she actually started the down down too early, so it was doubled, but most of us agreed she was doing it on purpose out of severe thirst.
Back to the wedding ProBoner accused POD and Lewinsky for not even getting jiggy on their one night away from the kids. Lewinsky called this a false accusation, as their fale had been leaning, although technically that was the side Lewinsky was sleeping on. Deciding factor went to Hot Nuts, who upon requesting a dance had been told by POD that she only has eyes for Lewinsky.
Snatch nominated two Hash Meres for the Barely Covered Hooters Award – Sassy and Screamer, and POD joined for various reasons.But photos show that she was also not covering other parts! We then had a revelation as Seismic spotted PS hosing down Stargasm as if in a wet t-shirt contest.
The Hosts and the Hares – Tickled, Seismic and Poumuli were saluted and then we chowed.
Next week’s hash will be hosted by AC/DC and sundry criminals. Watch the blog for details, but the theme will be Island Style.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
Back at the house, Son of The Bitch took up his GM duties again, seemingly recovered from the weekend. He welcomed those new to Apia Hash, namely Nadine from NZ, brought by ProBoner, and Naoko from Japan, here until March, brought by Ninja. Since they knew the rules the GM decided to test their down-down skills. The only Rethread was Tallyho, who protested that his hashing in Tonga should be counted against his absence, resulting in the inevitable doubling of the award.
Lewinsky stepped in as Shoe Inspector, and while all had seen Captain Mortein’s glorious new shoes, the proof could not be located. Screamer’s shoes were given a once over, but she claimed that they had been tried and tested before, much like Screamer according to Tallyho. Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (letter to the Editor), Godfather (large spread in paper, and closest relative to Alan so a double), Josh (for having same name as Josh – Rock the Boat ad with Bunga Bunga – missed relative for her), and Spanky for the headline PM meets Fugitive (Crime and ProBoner took that one).
This Day in History the US Congress approved the Great Seal (1782) and two hashers had pretended to be seals during Hash 1573 (not the Navy variety, just large, furry and in the water – I know this was in last week’s trash but still amusing) – SOTB and Lewinsky. It was also International Surfing Day so theirs was doubled. Zsa Zsa was absent for the Day of Independent Hungary, but since Denmark is fairly close (not really) to Hungary this went to Captain Mortein, with the inevitable grumblings.
The GM launched into his own awards, berating Hot Nuts, PS and Godfather for leaving their stuff behind at the beach. They missed Poumuli’s cooler, which has now been abdicated. On Sunday the GM had been challenged to a jousting contest by Poumuli, which he gracefully conceded to the surfing talents and obvious cheating of the GM who broke his jousting stick.
Normally some of our Hashers bring their kids, but during the wedding there was a serious lockdown in one family, quite unheard of as we noted little Ninja running around. Good Parenting Award to Ninja sr. who took it in Coke, so it was a long way going down.
One of the Hashers was having a beer with the GM on Sunday, and went away to relieve himself, but in a moment of confusion went to close to the waves and had his front drenched. Well that was Lewinsky’s story, but we all know he wet himself. Finally Poumuli’s t-shirt of Norwegian comedian Rolf Wesenlund portraying his character Marve Fleksnes was deemed to close to being a Gaddaffi-lookalike. Several culturally insensitive remarks came, like Norway doesn’t have any comedians, to the delighted chuckle of the Captain.
It was also the birthday of our host Dave, who apparently will be celebrating in Vienna? The GM then gave his final award to Orgy Georgie, who was no longer disappearing into bushes and was apparently behaving himself throughout – a Not Living Up to Name Award.
Opening for nominations from the floor, Sassygirl BJ recalled that we had all wanted the GM to speak on behalf of the Hash at the wedding, but he got himself so shitfaced Godfather had to do it. Well – true, but we all preferred Godfather’s sonorous tones to the usual slurring by the GM.
Poumuli nominated SOTB for a Spelling Bee Award, since the new webpage for the 1600th Hash has got heaps of spelling mistakes. For some reason Poumuli had to join this one. And the slacking bastard still hasn’t fixed it on the blog! Lewinsky nominated ProBoner for borrowing his truck and snapping of the key in the lock. Obviously practice for future jailbreaks.
Buzzer nominated PS for subjecting him to hard labour in carrying all these boxes. PS took it but corrected that it was indeed a Child Labour Award. Latecummers Snatch and PS sr were welcomed into the circle.
Buzzer also had a nomination for a Hasher who had been particularly annoying him on the run by constantly coming up behind him and shouting. This extremely dodgy, suspicious and likely illegal activity landed Hot Nuts the Running Behind Boys Award. Sassy gave SOTB a Geek Award for wasting his time developing a Hash Website app during work hours, to which SOTB gave the company motto Family First for his award.
Sassy, on a dangerous roll, gave Ring Ring the Good Parenting (NOT!) Award for boozing with her boys. While she claimed this was not true, she gave the last of her glass to Buzzer. We then had a Real Celebrity Award to visiting radio guru Clement.
By now Tallyho had his goat up and ranted about how the wedding hadn’t been postponed to take account of his travels. After much back and forth this one backfired, with mutterings of “justice will come to you” hanging in the air! We had cellphonus interruptus by Pirate Princess and Ida from Japan, whose wife thoughtfully hurled the last of the cup at Lewinsky. Well done, we need more of that.
Proboner wanted her friend Nadine for being a tease to the Samoan boys ever since arriving. Something about cockblocking and jealousy caused her to join the award.
And at that point the Hash Monk appeared (or rather the Transformer Hash Monk). She called forth OG’s lovely lady, who 18 months ago had disappeared in the bushes and was now carrying the results, and that she had also been stargazing at the time. Henceforth she shall be known as Stargasm.
Theresa was called forth, and her husband is a star fisher, who apparently can land large fish by tickling their belly or throat. Henceforth she shall be known as Tickled.
Dave was then called forth, our resident tectonic plate expert, who shall now be known as Seismic.
As we saluted the Hash Monk, she actually started the down down too early, so it was doubled, but most of us agreed she was doing it on purpose out of severe thirst.
Back to the wedding ProBoner accused POD and Lewinsky for not even getting jiggy on their one night away from the kids. Lewinsky called this a false accusation, as their fale had been leaning, although technically that was the side Lewinsky was sleeping on. Deciding factor went to Hot Nuts, who upon requesting a dance had been told by POD that she only has eyes for Lewinsky.
Snatch nominated two Hash Meres for the Barely Covered Hooters Award – Sassy and Screamer, and POD joined for various reasons.But photos show that she was also not covering other parts! We then had a revelation as Seismic spotted PS hosing down Stargasm as if in a wet t-shirt contest.
The Hosts and the Hares – Tickled, Seismic and Poumuli were saluted and then we chowed.
Next week’s hash will be hosted by AC/DC and sundry criminals. Watch the blog for details, but the theme will be Island Style.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
Friday, June 17, 2011
Hash Trash 1573
The Hash was hosted by ProBoner, Lewinsky and Princess of Darkness at the extended compound in Taumeasina. The run had been set by Buzzer who warned of several obstacles on the route. It was on out the gate, false trail to the left quickly found by Poumuli, then off we went down along the coast past the fales and over a dead canoe. The trail then followed the rocks on the poorly constructed seawall, which was a bit tricky at times. Many nearly did a Slippery, as the foliage was covering the holes between the rocks. In some places the paper had been blown inland by the wind, but the trail was easily reacquired. As we neared the other side of the fake peninsula, it was clear that some swimming would cut the run by a lot – so Lewinsky and SOTB did their best seal impersonations – I mean the wallowing types, not the bin Laden fixers. Others followed, while the rest took the hard but dry route back. A good run for those who did the lot.
Back at the compound SOTB as GM called the circle together in a voice not hazed over as is often the case. He called forth those new to Hash. They were Brett and Micheline, brought by Lewinsky, and Taulili Ete who had been brought over from Savaii by someone called Bolu – Pussysnatcher’s first of many.
The Rethreads were Screamer, Orgy Georgie and his sons David Tui and Taulolo, Snake, Crash Bandicoot. The Shoe Inspector Snake had observed a shiny new set of boots on one of Orgy’s sons, but as he was underage, his brother gallantly drank it for him (you would NEVER see me do that for my brother!).
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (someone had faked a letter to the Editor in his name) and SOTB (Sassygirl BJ in a full colour picture in the Observer). This Day In History we had the Queen’s Birthday and the Feast Day of St. Anthony of Padua. The GM decided that Cockblocker was our only Queen, so he joined him in the award.
The GM had been hearing stories about the Hen’s and Stag parties over the weekend. Starting with the Hens, a Hash Mere ended up in jail for abusing a cop. Spanky had nothing to say, and had to take her award using a penis-shaped straw – this took a loooong time. Afterwards Eveready exclaimed that he had never seen such a display and demanded a re-naming to Wanky. While Spanky was about to languish in jail she was rescued by three intrepid Hash Meres, Horny Ho, Slim Shady and legal beagle ProBoner, who all got the Jailbreakers Award, even though they were entirely responsible for getting her into that state in the first place!
Turning to the Stag, Godfather had stayed up all night, and had even done a strip for the boys to show off his budgie smuggler, after which he needed to fend off the ladies at the beach. (Methinks he went to the wrong party – should have gone to the Hens). Also during the Stag, PS had to carry out a number of Samoan tasks. One was the grating of coconuts, during which he also grated his hand. Then there was the killing of the pig – rather than the more traditional strangulation in Samoa or vein-opening elsewhere, PS deftly reversed the axe and smashed the porkers brains out – through its eye. Check out the photo page if in doubt!
Then there was a Hasher who was incoherently drunk and disorderly, constantly disappearing and sitting down with strange women. I have no idea what they were talking about!
Moving to nominations from the floor, Poumuli nominated Screamer for a Usury Award for having a Tongan bodyguard to housesit for her, and charging him rent. CB wanted to know in which “currency” was he paying her. Chilindrina got a name wrong, while Crash got a Rabbit Award for getting Delicious pregnant again.
Poumuli nominated Snake for the Dog Training Award, as anytime a beer was opened in the house, Murdoch became all agitated. After a vote it was agreed that Snake was an excellent Hash House Hound trainer. Snake managed to get Lewinsky a disrespect award for chatting excessively with his mate Brett. Slim Shady nominated Eveready and Karaoke for the fabulous cake for the Hen’s night (see the photos – its shaped like a willy). Eveready countered that in 20 years of cake making he had never made one that took so long to eat – apparently it was being licked! Questioned about the model for the cake, Snatch said he would not be standing like that.
ProBoner nominated Crash for advertising. Godfather cleared up the Speedo situation, as they had been bought for him only for swimming, and he was asked by Titty Galore to wear them on a dare. Titty G for the Stripper Enticement Award.
Horny Ho produced some Hash Shit that had been left behind at 1569, which all belonged to Slim Shady! A few leaners were caught – Crime and Snatch’s sisters Omega and Judy. Do Me Twice turned up late, had no excuse so down down. ProBoner had been accused by Hot Nuts of stealing a hard drive, which she refuted, but as Hot Nuts had left, Captain Mortein was deemed to be the closest living relative.
Lewinsky revenged the earlier Chatty Award by catching Snake talking with Brett, and this time both of them got the award. Slim Shady nominated Snatch for not covering the susu (not sure about this one, but no details were given). Our chefs, Alfred and Tiger Woody were thanked, and the GM reminded that from now on this would be a shared duty. We then saluted the Hosts and the Hares – Buzzer, Ring Ring, ProBoner and Lewinsky.
Check out the new webpage for the 1600th run arrangements.
Next week will be at Dave and Therese’s place in Vailima. Map on the blog.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
Back at the compound SOTB as GM called the circle together in a voice not hazed over as is often the case. He called forth those new to Hash. They were Brett and Micheline, brought by Lewinsky, and Taulili Ete who had been brought over from Savaii by someone called Bolu – Pussysnatcher’s first of many.
The Rethreads were Screamer, Orgy Georgie and his sons David Tui and Taulolo, Snake, Crash Bandicoot. The Shoe Inspector Snake had observed a shiny new set of boots on one of Orgy’s sons, but as he was underage, his brother gallantly drank it for him (you would NEVER see me do that for my brother!).
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (someone had faked a letter to the Editor in his name) and SOTB (Sassygirl BJ in a full colour picture in the Observer). This Day In History we had the Queen’s Birthday and the Feast Day of St. Anthony of Padua. The GM decided that Cockblocker was our only Queen, so he joined him in the award.
The GM had been hearing stories about the Hen’s and Stag parties over the weekend. Starting with the Hens, a Hash Mere ended up in jail for abusing a cop. Spanky had nothing to say, and had to take her award using a penis-shaped straw – this took a loooong time. Afterwards Eveready exclaimed that he had never seen such a display and demanded a re-naming to Wanky. While Spanky was about to languish in jail she was rescued by three intrepid Hash Meres, Horny Ho, Slim Shady and legal beagle ProBoner, who all got the Jailbreakers Award, even though they were entirely responsible for getting her into that state in the first place!
Turning to the Stag, Godfather had stayed up all night, and had even done a strip for the boys to show off his budgie smuggler, after which he needed to fend off the ladies at the beach. (Methinks he went to the wrong party – should have gone to the Hens). Also during the Stag, PS had to carry out a number of Samoan tasks. One was the grating of coconuts, during which he also grated his hand. Then there was the killing of the pig – rather than the more traditional strangulation in Samoa or vein-opening elsewhere, PS deftly reversed the axe and smashed the porkers brains out – through its eye. Check out the photo page if in doubt!
Then there was a Hasher who was incoherently drunk and disorderly, constantly disappearing and sitting down with strange women. I have no idea what they were talking about!
Moving to nominations from the floor, Poumuli nominated Screamer for a Usury Award for having a Tongan bodyguard to housesit for her, and charging him rent. CB wanted to know in which “currency” was he paying her. Chilindrina got a name wrong, while Crash got a Rabbit Award for getting Delicious pregnant again.
Poumuli nominated Snake for the Dog Training Award, as anytime a beer was opened in the house, Murdoch became all agitated. After a vote it was agreed that Snake was an excellent Hash House Hound trainer. Snake managed to get Lewinsky a disrespect award for chatting excessively with his mate Brett. Slim Shady nominated Eveready and Karaoke for the fabulous cake for the Hen’s night (see the photos – its shaped like a willy). Eveready countered that in 20 years of cake making he had never made one that took so long to eat – apparently it was being licked! Questioned about the model for the cake, Snatch said he would not be standing like that.
ProBoner nominated Crash for advertising. Godfather cleared up the Speedo situation, as they had been bought for him only for swimming, and he was asked by Titty Galore to wear them on a dare. Titty G for the Stripper Enticement Award.
Horny Ho produced some Hash Shit that had been left behind at 1569, which all belonged to Slim Shady! A few leaners were caught – Crime and Snatch’s sisters Omega and Judy. Do Me Twice turned up late, had no excuse so down down. ProBoner had been accused by Hot Nuts of stealing a hard drive, which she refuted, but as Hot Nuts had left, Captain Mortein was deemed to be the closest living relative.
Lewinsky revenged the earlier Chatty Award by catching Snake talking with Brett, and this time both of them got the award. Slim Shady nominated Snatch for not covering the susu (not sure about this one, but no details were given). Our chefs, Alfred and Tiger Woody were thanked, and the GM reminded that from now on this would be a shared duty. We then saluted the Hosts and the Hares – Buzzer, Ring Ring, ProBoner and Lewinsky.
Check out the new webpage for the 1600th run arrangements.
Next week will be at Dave and Therese’s place in Vailima. Map on the blog.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Hash Run 1574 - Vailima - David and Theresa
Morning All,
Trust your week is going well...Next weeks run is being hosted by David and Theresa at their home in Vailima. They live behind the Carmelite Nun's house....fingers crossed we get to run past them :)
The run will be a BYO MEATS for the bbq, and the hosts will provide the salads and other bits and bobs...
There will be a keg and softies...and don't forget to bring you hash cash of $15 SAT...
Don't forget that as of Monday, BBQ duties will be shared amongst the hash family, so Mismanagement will pick out a few people on Monday to do the BBQ..
Run starts 1730 Hrs so try be there early as we're up in the hills and it gets dark quite quickly..
On On
See the map for directions.
Trust your week is going well...Next weeks run is being hosted by David and Theresa at their home in Vailima. They live behind the Carmelite Nun's house....fingers crossed we get to run past them :)
The run will be a BYO MEATS for the bbq, and the hosts will provide the salads and other bits and bobs...
There will be a keg and softies...and don't forget to bring you hash cash of $15 SAT...
Don't forget that as of Monday, BBQ duties will be shared amongst the hash family, so Mismanagement will pick out a few people on Monday to do the BBQ..
Run starts 1730 Hrs so try be there early as we're up in the hills and it gets dark quite quickly..
On On
See the map for directions.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
How Hash Works! (Keep hash fun, do your part)
Apia Hash House Harriers Run
The Hash run is held every Monday of the year at 5:30pm, rain or shine.
Hash supplies the beer and soft drinks.
Host of the run optionally supplies food at their own expense.
First Monday of each month is a Bring Your Own Food (BYOF) run.
Standard Hash Fee is $15.
New Hashers and Guests pay the standard fee + $5 for their first three runs.
Fee used to supply beer, supplement food, and provide shirts.
Hasher Etiquette
Hash is great fun for us all. Where else can you join your friends for a fun island run, a great BBQ, and usually all the beer/soda you can drink for $15? You can't. What makes this great experience possible is you. Everyone doing their little part so that Hash can be enjoyed by all each Monday.
This is an introduction to those new at Hash and a friendly reminder for our veterans on how to do your part and keep Hash fun.
The Runner:
Show-up and have fun!
Bring new people along to join us.
Make an effort to make new Hashers feel welcome.
Pay Hash Cash promptly (don't wait to be asked).
If it's a BYO Hash, be sure to Bring Your Own.
Be sure to thank the host.
Now and then, try to host Hash.
The Host:
Schedule your Hash weeks in advance.
Make clear your expectations for attending Hashers.
(is it BYO meat, BYO salad, or just bring yourself?)
Provide a map to the venue a week before the run.
(critical for turn-out and beer/soda delivery)
Make sure someone is home by 4:00 PM to accept delivery of beer/soda.
Do not cancel your Hash at the last minute.
If you'd like Kiwi to set the run, please ask him in advance.
The Volunteer:
If you volunteer for a duty, do it (don't ruin Hash for others).
Be proactive, if you see that something needs to be done, do it.
(i.e. ice down sodas/coconuts, help carry the ice cooler, etc.)
Please do your part. When you do not, someone else must during work hours or Hash itself to scramble and make up for the failure. This is very stressful, ruins their Hash, and is just plain mean.
On on,
The Hash run is held every Monday of the year at 5:30pm, rain or shine.
Hash supplies the beer and soft drinks.
Host of the run optionally supplies food at their own expense.
First Monday of each month is a Bring Your Own Food (BYOF) run.
Standard Hash Fee is $15.
New Hashers and Guests pay the standard fee + $5 for their first three runs.
Fee used to supply beer, supplement food, and provide shirts.
Hasher Etiquette
Hash is great fun for us all. Where else can you join your friends for a fun island run, a great BBQ, and usually all the beer/soda you can drink for $15? You can't. What makes this great experience possible is you. Everyone doing their little part so that Hash can be enjoyed by all each Monday.
This is an introduction to those new at Hash and a friendly reminder for our veterans on how to do your part and keep Hash fun.
The Runner:
Show-up and have fun!
Bring new people along to join us.
Make an effort to make new Hashers feel welcome.
Pay Hash Cash promptly (don't wait to be asked).
If it's a BYO Hash, be sure to Bring Your Own.
Be sure to thank the host.
Now and then, try to host Hash.
The Host:
Schedule your Hash weeks in advance.
Make clear your expectations for attending Hashers.
(is it BYO meat, BYO salad, or just bring yourself?)
Provide a map to the venue a week before the run.
(critical for turn-out and beer/soda delivery)
Make sure someone is home by 4:00 PM to accept delivery of beer/soda.
Do not cancel your Hash at the last minute.
If you'd like Kiwi to set the run, please ask him in advance.
The Volunteer:
If you volunteer for a duty, do it (don't ruin Hash for others).
Be proactive, if you see that something needs to be done, do it.
(i.e. ice down sodas/coconuts, help carry the ice cooler, etc.)
Please do your part. When you do not, someone else must during work hours or Hash itself to scramble and make up for the failure. This is very stressful, ruins their Hash, and is just plain mean.
On on,
Friday, June 10, 2011
Hash Run 1573 - Taumeasina with Proboner, POD and Lewinsky
Morning All,
Next weeks run is being hosted by ProBoner, POD and Lewinsky at Taumeasina. The hosts have kindly offered to cater for hash so there is NO BYO next week. There is no theme for the moment, but check back on Monday in case there are any changes.
Run starts at 17:30 Hrs and bring a change of clothes if you fancy a swim after the run...or in the event that you have a swim during the run :)
There will be a keg there as usual. See the map for directions.
On On
Next weeks run is being hosted by ProBoner, POD and Lewinsky at Taumeasina. The hosts have kindly offered to cater for hash so there is NO BYO next week. There is no theme for the moment, but check back on Monday in case there are any changes.
Run starts at 17:30 Hrs and bring a change of clothes if you fancy a swim after the run...or in the event that you have a swim during the run :)
There will be a keg there as usual. See the map for directions.
On On
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Hash Trash 1572
Greetings again all Hashers. Run 1571 does not have a separate trash, but attendance at the 10km run was moderate. There was Captain Mortein, Godfather, Nomura-san and Poumuli, with Ninja apparently doing the half-marathon. The On On was totally SNAFU’ed by our GM SOTB who had decided to go fishing and hadn’t made any arrangements for the festivities at Y-Not with Dumass. Wahoo and I cruised by twice to no avail.
Anyway, back to 1572, which was hosted by Crime in Fogavai by Apia Park. We started off with a quick run around the area, good markings and nicely laid false traps, before ending up at Apia Park where a game of Touch Rugby was arranged. Splitting into fairly equal teams, we were all struggling with our subbing refs – Dumass and Cockblocker, who took turns at exceeding each others outrageous rulings on the field. Eventually the score was three tries to two, and we called it quits.
Back at Crime’s the BBQ was lit and the circle formed. Jehovah, it’s a miracle, but SOTB was lucid, upstanding and able to form sentences, so he took charge of the circle and called forth those new to Apia Hash. There was Alan, Andrew and Chris from NZ who had come with Greenie’s alter ego, Anita who had been invited by Crime, and Rex and Johnny from NUS who had come with someone called Yeah and Chanel. Greenie, Dumass and CB took their awards, which were doubled later for Greenie and Dumass.
The Rethreads were Skunk (at home helping Snake). Lewinsky was dumb enough to accept being Shoe Inspector and of course he failed to find anything. Celebrity Awards went to Nomura-san (in the Sports pages) and Spanky (Peace Corps piece in Observer). Since she wasn’t there, the GM decreed that her closest living relative was Captain Mortein, Denmark being so much closer to Minnesota than Norway!
On this day in history Lewinsky took the St Francis Day for Crash, SOTB and Lewinsky for being Sea Beggars (a Dutch scourge of 1572) and joined by Pirate Princess (they were basically pirates), while Chris, Poumuli and CB joined for World Environment Day. Captain Mortein at first refused the award for the end of the Kalmar Union (ending Danish overlordship of the 3 kingdoms), but after being told to “drink you Danish butt-munch” he relented.
Since we had had more of sports in hash than normal, the GM followed suit with his Play of the Day Award, to the player who lost his glasses, splayed about in the mud, yet managed to get his tackle in – namely Skunk. The Try of the Day went to Lewinsky, for honourably tossing the ladies aside to reach the mark. Slap of the Day went to Pirate Princess for being too deaf to hear the whistle and slapping the ref. Dumass joined in for “taking the slap like a girl”. Player of the Day (we had expected the GM to self-nominate) went Ladyfinger, who had displayed a remarkable panache and fitness, and according to some of the Hash Meres “good hand action”. Finally, the Biased Ref Award went to Dumass, although CB was equally unconscious and blind when he was reffing.
More on sports, a Wannabe Blonde Award went to Horny Ho, having been informed of the 10k run had texted, I’ll be there. Of course not. The Captain could be HEARD spilling his beer, refused to own up, and required a close up inspection by the GM. A bit pointless really, given the saturation of beer smells that his olfactory nerves were battling at this point. Tiger Woody was caught with cellphonus interruptus. The GM reverted back to the rugby and got up all the try scorers – CB, Lewinsky, SOTB and Johnny. Guess he got thirsty from smelling the Captain’s beer-sodden sandals.
Opening up to the floor, Princess of Darkness nominated Horny Ho for living up to her name. During the paddling on the weekend she had borrowed Chilindrina’s zoom lens camera, only to solely focus on checking out paddlers’ butts. Dumass nominated Crime for a Change Award for altering our normal format. POD also nominated the BBQers for an award. Poumuli nominated the Sea Beggars SOTB and Lewinsky for going fishing instead of running. During the award it came out that Lewinsky only wanted to bring SOTB, knowing full well that Poumuli would be coming back and wanted to join. A staggering toll of down-downs for Lewinsky!
The Captain was brought up on charges of tree poisoning – he had slipped away to do some drainage. No one was willing to do the verification. Sassygirl BJ nominated Horny Ho for some classy rugby moves, especially the quick touch and release. The favour was returned with a Loose Limbs Award from last week’s run, when Sassy had done some impressive stretching before the run and even a bit of pole dancing on the run (“I practice yoghurt” came the imponderable reply).
Ladyfinger tried to give an award but messed up on Godfather’s name so instant backfire, pre-trigger. Sassy gave Andrew the Too Loud Award. Foolishly Poumuli tried to get Wahoo an award for not correcting Cindy of Samoa regarding Poumuli’s preferences, but it didn’t work.
Finally our Host and Hare – Crime – was saluted, before we fell upon the food.
Next week’s run will be care of ProBoner. Watch the blog. Below is a gratuitous clip showing just the sort of cruel humour many Hashers enjoy.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
Anyway, back to 1572, which was hosted by Crime in Fogavai by Apia Park. We started off with a quick run around the area, good markings and nicely laid false traps, before ending up at Apia Park where a game of Touch Rugby was arranged. Splitting into fairly equal teams, we were all struggling with our subbing refs – Dumass and Cockblocker, who took turns at exceeding each others outrageous rulings on the field. Eventually the score was three tries to two, and we called it quits.
Back at Crime’s the BBQ was lit and the circle formed. Jehovah, it’s a miracle, but SOTB was lucid, upstanding and able to form sentences, so he took charge of the circle and called forth those new to Apia Hash. There was Alan, Andrew and Chris from NZ who had come with Greenie’s alter ego, Anita who had been invited by Crime, and Rex and Johnny from NUS who had come with someone called Yeah and Chanel. Greenie, Dumass and CB took their awards, which were doubled later for Greenie and Dumass.
The Rethreads were Skunk (at home helping Snake). Lewinsky was dumb enough to accept being Shoe Inspector and of course he failed to find anything. Celebrity Awards went to Nomura-san (in the Sports pages) and Spanky (Peace Corps piece in Observer). Since she wasn’t there, the GM decreed that her closest living relative was Captain Mortein, Denmark being so much closer to Minnesota than Norway!
On this day in history Lewinsky took the St Francis Day for Crash, SOTB and Lewinsky for being Sea Beggars (a Dutch scourge of 1572) and joined by Pirate Princess (they were basically pirates), while Chris, Poumuli and CB joined for World Environment Day. Captain Mortein at first refused the award for the end of the Kalmar Union (ending Danish overlordship of the 3 kingdoms), but after being told to “drink you Danish butt-munch” he relented.
Since we had had more of sports in hash than normal, the GM followed suit with his Play of the Day Award, to the player who lost his glasses, splayed about in the mud, yet managed to get his tackle in – namely Skunk. The Try of the Day went to Lewinsky, for honourably tossing the ladies aside to reach the mark. Slap of the Day went to Pirate Princess for being too deaf to hear the whistle and slapping the ref. Dumass joined in for “taking the slap like a girl”. Player of the Day (we had expected the GM to self-nominate) went Ladyfinger, who had displayed a remarkable panache and fitness, and according to some of the Hash Meres “good hand action”. Finally, the Biased Ref Award went to Dumass, although CB was equally unconscious and blind when he was reffing.
More on sports, a Wannabe Blonde Award went to Horny Ho, having been informed of the 10k run had texted, I’ll be there. Of course not. The Captain could be HEARD spilling his beer, refused to own up, and required a close up inspection by the GM. A bit pointless really, given the saturation of beer smells that his olfactory nerves were battling at this point. Tiger Woody was caught with cellphonus interruptus. The GM reverted back to the rugby and got up all the try scorers – CB, Lewinsky, SOTB and Johnny. Guess he got thirsty from smelling the Captain’s beer-sodden sandals.
Opening up to the floor, Princess of Darkness nominated Horny Ho for living up to her name. During the paddling on the weekend she had borrowed Chilindrina’s zoom lens camera, only to solely focus on checking out paddlers’ butts. Dumass nominated Crime for a Change Award for altering our normal format. POD also nominated the BBQers for an award. Poumuli nominated the Sea Beggars SOTB and Lewinsky for going fishing instead of running. During the award it came out that Lewinsky only wanted to bring SOTB, knowing full well that Poumuli would be coming back and wanted to join. A staggering toll of down-downs for Lewinsky!
The Captain was brought up on charges of tree poisoning – he had slipped away to do some drainage. No one was willing to do the verification. Sassygirl BJ nominated Horny Ho for some classy rugby moves, especially the quick touch and release. The favour was returned with a Loose Limbs Award from last week’s run, when Sassy had done some impressive stretching before the run and even a bit of pole dancing on the run (“I practice yoghurt” came the imponderable reply).
Ladyfinger tried to give an award but messed up on Godfather’s name so instant backfire, pre-trigger. Sassy gave Andrew the Too Loud Award. Foolishly Poumuli tried to get Wahoo an award for not correcting Cindy of Samoa regarding Poumuli’s preferences, but it didn’t work.
Finally our Host and Hare – Crime – was saluted, before we fell upon the food.
Next week’s run will be care of ProBoner. Watch the blog. Below is a gratuitous clip showing just the sort of cruel humour many Hashers enjoy.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Australian TV ads
Current World Cup ads are playing on TV here, bringing back fond memories.
http://wn.com/Priceless_World_Cup_moment__Samoa_1991.
OnOn.
http://wn.com/Priceless_World_Cup_moment__Samoa_1991.
OnOn.
Monday, June 06, 2011
Hash Run 1572 - 6th June - Crime @ Apia Park
Morning All,
Today's run will be at Crime's place at Apia Park. Today, there will be a slight change to our normal routine (going for a run) instead, Crime is arranging some Touch Rugby and Soccer games for hash at the Apia Park, so bring your normal running gear and be prepared for some sports.
Park your vehicles at Crime's place and then we will make our way towards the sports grounds...
I believe Crime will be providing some food but he has also requested the hasher's if they could bring some meats to throw on the bbq...
Directions are posted below on the map. Formalities will start at 1730hrs and the keg will be there.
See map for Directions.
On On
Today's run will be at Crime's place at Apia Park. Today, there will be a slight change to our normal routine (going for a run) instead, Crime is arranging some Touch Rugby and Soccer games for hash at the Apia Park, so bring your normal running gear and be prepared for some sports.
Park your vehicles at Crime's place and then we will make our way towards the sports grounds...
I believe Crime will be providing some food but he has also requested the hasher's if they could bring some meats to throw on the bbq...
Directions are posted below on the map. Formalities will start at 1730hrs and the keg will be there.
See map for Directions.
On On
Friday, June 03, 2011
Hash Run - Sat 4th June 2011
Talofa,
Tomorrow's 10km fun run will be followed by a bbq/drinks at Ynot later on. Time for this is to be confirmed as we are trying to find out if we can get the bar open around 11am for a brunch session.
The fun run starts at 6:30am and if you are running/walking, please make sure you are there at 6am to check in and then get ready for the fun run.
As mentioned in the emails that you all so kindly replied to (not) the starting point is at Funway rentals, Matautu and today is the last day for Registration.
We will discuss the brunch some more tomorrow morning.
On On See you there!
Tomorrow's 10km fun run will be followed by a bbq/drinks at Ynot later on. Time for this is to be confirmed as we are trying to find out if we can get the bar open around 11am for a brunch session.
The fun run starts at 6:30am and if you are running/walking, please make sure you are there at 6am to check in and then get ready for the fun run.
As mentioned in the emails that you all so kindly replied to (not) the starting point is at Funway rentals, Matautu and today is the last day for Registration.
We will discuss the brunch some more tomorrow morning.
On On See you there!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)