Hash Trash 1575

The Hash was hosted at the Millennia Hotel by AC/DC, Ray Charles and Lezzie, except the latter was a no-show. As per his usual, AC/DC had not actually set a trail, and instead directed us on a run around town, down to Magik Cinemas, past the school and on to the Samoatel HQ, then back along the seafront. So a decent length run, except it was rather dull. AC/DC’s claim that he was conscious of all the trash in town was greeted with derision, but we forgot to add it to his awards.

SOTB miraculously took up his duties as GM – this is becoming a winning streak! He called forth those new to Apia Hash, and these were Streaker, brought by his Dad Pussyindah, and Holes, brought by Godfather. The Rethreads were Slippery, Alfred, Tooth Fairy, Andrew, Pussyindah, Mad Mel (last time was the 1000th run), Steakman, Julia (also here for the 1000th run) and Redleg (was here in 94). Redleg forgot to remove his hat, so was duly rewarded with a double.

Shoe Inspector Lewinsky found no new shoes and took his Failure Award. Celebrity Awards went to Pussysnatcher, Snatch, Zsa Zsa and Sassygirl BJ – Captain Mortein was deemed again to be closest to Hungary, Do Me Twice for PS, and Lewinsky for Snatch due to Savaiian connections. Latecummers Chilindrina, Tiger Woody and Dumass were also dobbed in.

This Day In History was interesting as a new word has been added to the Urban Dictionary – aarping, or to aarp – defined as when an elderly person, such as a grandfather, complains incessantly about nothing. Karaoke went to Eveready’s defence that he never complains and never says no, but he got it anyway. 27 June 1954 was first recorded mass violence at a soccer match, both on and off the field. This was between Hungary and Brazil, so Chilindrina and Wax took that one in lieu. 28 June 1969 was the Stonewall riots that started up the gay rights movement – AC/DC.

Greenie was spotted sitting down during the circle! His lame defence was that he had seen a new lady and wanted to chat – in the circle! The GM continued by giving a Slavedrivers Award to Lewinsky and Crash Bandicoot – Flash Gordon was back for a funeral, and had been worked so hard by the two that he was too tired to come to Hash.

The GM had also received an email from Immigration regarding a new overstayer – Steakman got the Dawn Raid Award. The GM also had enjoyed a beer after last week’s run with the host, Seismic, but he had dropped full beers and left the tap open – Sacrilege Award to Seismic. On a similar topic, we were all marvelling at the absence of the Hash Mugs, and Crash had assured that they were at his house. Not! They were at Lewinsky’s, and since neither had brought them, both took the Gross Negligence Award.

Opening up for nominations, Redleg recalled that back in 94 the first run in Savaii had been set, and they had all stayed at Manase at the Stephenson’s then new place. So new in fact that they had been given a key to a room with no door. The Better Late than Never Award went down Lewinsky very slowly.

Poumuli asked the GM to control Greenie’s talking which he did using the implement of a large down down. Didn’t work for long though. Sassy commented on the fact that none had really followed the theme of Pacific Style for the run, but that Seismic and Tickled were well-turned out, yet didn’t even run. Ring Ring was given the Good Parenting Award for stopping Buzzer from having a beer – although not much consistency here, as we all know.

Poumuli had been sent some pictures of the wedding by Strangler, and luckily he checked them before posting. One of the photos, while censored, was fairly graphic. But asking the GM for advice on posting it was like talking to a brick wall. So the GM took the Inducement to Pornography Award. Sassy nominated Steakman for Unbecoming Behaviour for pinching her ass on the run. Horny Ho had some cellphonus interruptus. Pussyindah complained about the late posting of the venue on the blog. Poumuli admitted that he could have posted it at 8 AM, but forgot where it was going to be.

The Mad Hash Monk appeared, and called forth Alfred. Kneeling in front of her might she praised his agile handling of sausages, and henceforth he shall be known as Curly.

DMT was dobbed in for yapping and jabbering. Horny Ho got Lewinsky for Malicious Advice, in that she had brought the BBQ at his insistence, when clearly it was not needed. Sassy nominated Dumass, Titty Galore, DMT and Horny Ho for the successful paddling regatta over the weekend. Dumass responded that they were late for the race because there was no finishing line, which was the task set for Sassy and the GM. The GM ruled that no, this was Dumass’ duty, and moreover his jetski had died at an inappropriate time. Titty G nominated Godfather for wearing the skimpiest outfit to the regatta. Titty G had to join in for apparently putting Godfather off his stroke.

The Hosts were saluted, AC/DC and Ray Charles. Poumuli suggested that since the was no Hare, that those with no hair should be rewarded. However, Godfather offered to prove he had hair, which would have been too much for the Hash Meres, and a riot was narrowly averted.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Swinger in Siusega, as a farewell to Wax. It will have a fairy tale theme. Details will be on the blog.

Your Scribe and Wahoo will be away for three weeks so Tallyho has graciously accepted to be the Assistant Scribe for the duration. Please expect grotesquely cynical prose and unwarranted slurs, but assist him with names and by shutting up during the circle.

Thanks to Slippery for the photos from this week’s Hash, already posted.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit