Thursday, June 09, 2011

Hash Trash 1572

Greetings again all Hashers. Run 1571 does not have a separate trash, but attendance at the 10km run was moderate. There was Captain Mortein, Godfather, Nomura-san and Poumuli, with Ninja apparently doing the half-marathon. The On On was totally SNAFU’ed by our GM SOTB who had decided to go fishing and hadn’t made any arrangements for the festivities at Y-Not with Dumass. Wahoo and I cruised by twice to no avail.

Anyway, back to 1572, which was hosted by Crime in Fogavai by Apia Park. We started off with a quick run around the area, good markings and nicely laid false traps, before ending up at Apia Park where a game of Touch Rugby was arranged. Splitting into fairly equal teams, we were all struggling with our subbing refs – Dumass and Cockblocker, who took turns at exceeding each others outrageous rulings on the field. Eventually the score was three tries to two, and we called it quits.
Back at Crime’s the BBQ was lit and the circle formed. Jehovah, it’s a miracle, but SOTB was lucid, upstanding and able to form sentences, so he took charge of the circle and called forth those new to Apia Hash. There was Alan, Andrew and Chris from NZ who had come with Greenie’s alter ego, Anita who had been invited by Crime, and Rex and Johnny from NUS who had come with someone called Yeah and Chanel. Greenie, Dumass and CB took their awards, which were doubled later for Greenie and Dumass.

The Rethreads were Skunk (at home helping Snake). Lewinsky was dumb enough to accept being Shoe Inspector and of course he failed to find anything. Celebrity Awards went to Nomura-san (in the Sports pages) and Spanky (Peace Corps piece in Observer). Since she wasn’t there, the GM decreed that her closest living relative was Captain Mortein, Denmark being so much closer to Minnesota than Norway!

On this day in history Lewinsky took the St Francis Day for Crash, SOTB and Lewinsky for being Sea Beggars (a Dutch scourge of 1572) and joined by Pirate Princess (they were basically pirates), while Chris, Poumuli and CB joined for World Environment Day. Captain Mortein at first refused the award for the end of the Kalmar Union (ending Danish overlordship of the 3 kingdoms), but after being told to “drink you Danish butt-munch” he relented.

Since we had had more of sports in hash than normal, the GM followed suit with his Play of the Day Award, to the player who lost his glasses, splayed about in the mud, yet managed to get his tackle in – namely Skunk. The Try of the Day went to Lewinsky, for honourably tossing the ladies aside to reach the mark. Slap of the Day went to Pirate Princess for being too deaf to hear the whistle and slapping the ref. Dumass joined in for “taking the slap like a girl”. Player of the Day (we had expected the GM to self-nominate) went Ladyfinger, who had displayed a remarkable panache and fitness, and according to some of the Hash Meres “good hand action”. Finally, the Biased Ref Award went to Dumass, although CB was equally unconscious and blind when he was reffing.

More on sports, a Wannabe Blonde Award went to Horny Ho, having been informed of the 10k run had texted, I’ll be there. Of course not. The Captain could be HEARD spilling his beer, refused to own up, and required a close up inspection by the GM. A bit pointless really, given the saturation of beer smells that his olfactory nerves were battling at this point. Tiger Woody was caught with cellphonus interruptus. The GM reverted back to the rugby and got up all the try scorers – CB, Lewinsky, SOTB and Johnny. Guess he got thirsty from smelling the Captain’s beer-sodden sandals.

Opening up to the floor, Princess of Darkness nominated Horny Ho for living up to her name. During the paddling on the weekend she had borrowed Chilindrina’s zoom lens camera, only to solely focus on checking out paddlers’ butts. Dumass nominated Crime for a Change Award for altering our normal format. POD also nominated the BBQers for an award. Poumuli nominated the Sea Beggars SOTB and Lewinsky for going fishing instead of running. During the award it came out that Lewinsky only wanted to bring SOTB, knowing full well that Poumuli would be coming back and wanted to join. A staggering toll of down-downs for Lewinsky!

The Captain was brought up on charges of tree poisoning – he had slipped away to do some drainage. No one was willing to do the verification. Sassygirl BJ nominated Horny Ho for some classy rugby moves, especially the quick touch and release. The favour was returned with a Loose Limbs Award from last week’s run, when Sassy had done some impressive stretching before the run and even a bit of pole dancing on the run (“I practice yoghurt” came the imponderable reply).

Ladyfinger tried to give an award but messed up on Godfather’s name so instant backfire, pre-trigger. Sassy gave Andrew the Too Loud Award. Foolishly Poumuli tried to get Wahoo an award for not correcting Cindy of Samoa regarding Poumuli’s preferences, but it didn’t work.

Finally our Host and Hare – Crime – was saluted, before we fell upon the food.
Next week’s run will be care of ProBoner. Watch the blog. Below is a gratuitous clip showing just the sort of cruel humour many Hashers enjoy.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit



video

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