HASH TRASH 1622
MOTHER’S DAY HASH – TAFA TAFA BEACH
This week’s Hash held on the Mother’s Day Public Holiday Monday at the picturesque Tafa Tafa. Hosted by Godfather and TTG again...Malo!
By the time all the Hashers had gathered, the run commenced around 2pm. Not too many runners although a lot of Keg Security with many Hash meres hanging back to “guard the keg”.
So off went our brave runners on-East and on flour as they past Aunty Moega’s fales only to be met with a falsy. So on back they begrudgingly trek and then past a group of admiring and applauding locals [obviously fans of the golden ale also]. On up along a beaten but pleasant dirt track towards the main road but alas, another dead-end! FRB’s, Strangler and Sexpot went their separate ways and searched for options along the soaring bitch-umen heat, but only to hear the eventual cry of on-back. Damn it!
Crime somehow uncovered a track which if the truth be known may not have had a trace of flour, but apparently was following the strict instructions of God Father [I wouldn’t argue either]. Nevertheless, a cruel and twisted ‘path’ emerged for what seemed an eternity and not without injury. New-cummer, Emily, seemed to cop the wrath of this jungle run, soldiering on with slight concussion and sporting a new Samoan Tatau. Finally back to civilisation when the main road appeared and then on back along another dirt road for what was a great run.
The sight of the golden brew wrapped in its natural form of shining keg armour was a sight to behold for all, albeit, appeared somewhat less full thanks to those keg guarding [and non-running] Hash meres. Mmmmm...
Soon the Hash Circle was called to order. Only one Newbie was at Hash that day: Emily from Tasmania who is here for 6 months teaching Surf Lifesaving to the Samoan people. She was introduced to Hash by Sassy.
Retreads – too many to mention almost. Nearly half of the Hashmen and Hashmeres were rethreads. These included: CB, Fang, Mata, Crash, Eveready, Karaoke, Triple D, DH and Gavin. As there were too many rethreads, GM, in his usual grumpy mood, didn’t bother asking any of them why they had not graced the Hashers with their presence previously.
Karaoke then was awarded a down down due to breaking one of the Hash’s cardinal sins, calling Hitler by his real name.
Celebrity awards went to one of the regular “Meres on the Scene” – Sassy for something about Mango training (not sure what they are training them to do – roll over maybe?) Also GF was in the news in regards to the building crew they had over doing a great job.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY presented by GM
1787 – the First Fleet of convicts leave for Australia so Crime and two Aussie Representatives (Sexpot and Emily) took a down down.
It was also St John the Silent Day, and they called up the one Hasher who is known to be as silent as a monk, Tallyho, who then proceeded with some verbal diarrhoea thus breaking his Vow of Silence.
“Bike to Work Day” was also noted to be on the same day and therefore Strangler was called up due to this being his main mode of transport to work.
Snake had to drink as he forgot the BBQ, luckily friends in the fale next to us kindly assisted us in cooking the Hash feast.
Two reps from Vailima, Jerry and Deidre had to take a down down as they were supposed to bring a keg of the new Vailima Dark but turned up with the normal stuff. They will probably be called up front and centre at the next Hash for forgetting to take the empty keg away with them too. Do they actually work for Vailima??
Emily was called up by GM due to her new Samoan Tatau (scraping her legs and hands falling on the Hash run). Crime was also called up for devising such a perilous run.
Snake then proceeded to call up Sexpot for his poor effort in pouring the down down brews. Attributing it to his banker’s make up, only giving 90% of the full amount. Subsequently it didn’t take Sexpot very long at all to down it due to the lesser amount.
Tallyho then decided to break that “vow” again and tried to tell Sassy that she should be a good wife to the old man. Tallyho then got told off for giving Sassy a hard time on Mother’s Day and so he drank alongside GM.
Crash received the “Son in Law Award” (not sure if it was the Good son in law award). He was warned by the Samoan Mafia (Karaoke) that if he doesn’t shape up, they’ll knock his block off. This down down turned into a double as Crash forgot to take his hat off whilst having his drink.
GF was called up for calling Delicious Desirable. Gavin took GF’s down down in memory of his daughter. Malo!
The False Advertising Award went to Dumbass, nominated by Sexpot. Sexpot was heading to Dumbass’s establishment for a refreshing ale at 5 o’clock on a Saturday evening, only to find YNot had not yet opened. Then when he finally got in (later that evening), he noticed a sign for Happy Hour starting between 4 – 7pm.
Sassy had a story about Swinger’s mere BB in Fiji who had a fridge full of food and alcohol and he stood her up. As Swinger was not present at this Hash Session, CB was forced to take to the circle as the closest living relative.
Sexpot then called up all the Mothers for a Mother’s Day Down Down.
Gavin requested everyone to have a drink in memory of Desirable.
Jerry took a drink for taking 3 hours to deliver the Hash Keg.
Fang was done for leaning, Snake proposed it should be a double as she should know the rules. GF’s phone went off so he had to take one too.
Snake accused Eveready of stealing a Hash Man’s Shirt: Limpet’s. Eveready refuted saying that Limpet “willed” his shirt to Eveready. Snake and Eveready both took a down down. Although Karaoke took Eveready’s for him.
It was Tino’s 15th birthday, so we all sang Happy Birthday and had a drink to him and Karaoke made a PG rated cake for him (unlike her usual X rated versions).
Latecummers were Godfather’s mates, the builders from Christchurch, who are building canoes out of plywood that can sail. Their names were John, Malcolm and Paul. When asked who introduced them to Hash they called GF by his name and so GF had to drink.
Then it was the Hare & Host toast, Titty G, GM and Crime all had a drink.
Sassy then wanted to thank the BBQ boys who cooked our food for us, Frico and Michael and they were awarded a Vailima for their valiant efforts.
Next week’s Hash Run is to be hosted by Strangler, Bruce and Dave on the way to SPREP off Cross Island Road.