Thursday, June 28, 2012

Hash Trash 1628

Yokwe from the Marshall Islands, and many thanks to DH for doing the Trash for us. See you in two weeks, so we need a scribe for next week also. Sorry no funny photos due to bandwidth. And Mr Whippy is trying to clear some space for us on the blog so we can post more of Slippery's (and Strangler's) Hash Flashes.
On on
Poumuli, IKA Slit

This week’s Hash Trash was hosted at Seascape in Vaoala by Slippery and Captain Mortein.  The run set on paper by none other than Pussysnatcher.  Finding out it was Pussysnatcher who set the run, we all knew that it was probably going to involve trekking somewhere in the bush.
We headed left outside Seascape up Cross Island Road to Bernard Street.  Not a good start for those Hashmen and Meres that have not been running for a while and were lacking in fitness.  Once in Bernard Street, that is when we went offroad and started bush bashing.  It was evident that Pussysnatcher did not use a machete to clear the track as people were covered in prickles and trying to avoid being slingshot by plants held back by those Hashmen in front of them as they were making their way along the “path”. 

Then we all descended down the treacherous slope, clinging on to whatever branches we could find, uprooting some on the way.  Many Hashmen and Meres were impersonating Skidmark due to sliding down the dirty slope on their derrieres.
When we finally got on to the flat and sighed a huge sigh of relief, we then had to venture back up.  Once at the top, the group divided.  The Front Running Bastards then again descended the hill and went across water and ended up at SPREP, whilst another group of Hashers, who defined themselves as trailblazers, went back towards the road mainly because it was getting quite dark and they did not want to venture back into the foreboding woods.  They ended up coming out near the NZ High Comm.
The final leg of the run was up Cross Island Road – a longer run for those heading up from SPREP, whilst not so bad for those who came out near the NZ High Comm.

The Hash Circle was then called to order.  Newcomers included Zan (Sexpot’s dad, invited by Desperate Housewife), Netty invited by Mia (unfortunately Netty did not follow the Hash rules of introduction but fortunately DMT did not have a down down due to her condition), Celia (Transporter), Nina (Hot Nuts), Warren invited by Bruce or should we say Hot Flush – Strangler as closest living relative had to have the down down for Warren not referring to Hot Flush by his Hash Name.

Retreads were then called up – five in all.  One fellow who referred to himself as Green Top and politely said “No thanks” to his down down, much to the raucous laughter of the Hash circle (until they realised that he doesn’t drink), Desperate Housewife – who had too many excuses for missing about 5 Hash Runs, Sexpot – who blamed DH for not letting him come (yeah right!), Ladyfinger whose job was under review and therefore he couldn’t come. However it resulted in Ladyfinger staying in Samoa longer (plenty of time to catch up on down downs!).  Emily who basically had no excuse, and someone who said they have been “elsewhere” – (the scribe couldn’t remember who this fellow hashman was as she was still fuming over Sexpot’s response.

Shoe Inspector was Lewinsky who did the inspection and had found no one until Neil volunteered himself (sadist) to drink out of his new shoes.  Lewinsky had to join him for the dreadful oversight.
This Day in History was then reviewed.  1949 – The Long Haired Hare was released (the First Bugs Bunny Movie) so those Hashmen with long hair – Strangler, Tallyho and Ozzy Osbourne had a down down.

1978 – Gilbert Baker of San Francisco designed and made a flag with six stripes representing the six colors of the rainbow as a symbol of gay and lesbian community pride – Gayboy.  Sadly Gayboy couldn’t be with us that day and so Toothfairy as CLR had to drink.

It was also UN Public Service Day, so all those who work in the UN were called up including Slim Shady, Hot Nuts and Ninja. [ed note – that one had been selected for those in VERTS!!!!]
Plus in honour of the Scottish win over Samoa in the Rugby, Lewinsky and Witch Doctor (both of Scottish ancestry) had a Vailima. 

The GM then opened the floor to nominations.  Sassy started the noms with referring to a Hashmere who was checking out one Hashman in particular saying she wanted to take him out (especially since his Missus was not around).  The accused being Hornithologist and her affections were directed at Ladyfinger.

Slim Shady nominated Swinger for talking with a bad Scottish accent the whole day of the Scotland-Samoa match – making her “ears bleed”.
Strangler then nominated two Hashmen for being “short cutting bastards” on a weekend bushwalk they were all partaking in, Swinger and Hot Nuts being the culprits.  Stangler then again nominated Swinger for giving a false lead in the car on the way home from this bushwalk.  Then Ladyfinger piped up referring to Double Jeopardy (not being allowed to be tried for the same crime twice) – so Strangler was called up to take the down down instead.

Tallyho then proceeded to talk about the Observer story about the prostitution case, whose names at first appeared in one article but have since been suppressed.  The name being Michael so anyone called Michael had to come up.  In the end Sexpot represented all the Michaels and had a drink.
Sassy called up GM and Lewinsky for leading the bridesmaids astray at Crash Gordon and Stiletto’s wedding.

Crime’s phone was ringing during the circle – we’re not sure if he actually set this up so he could have a down down.
Weathercock then called all the poms to come up due to the English failing during a penalty shoot out in the soccer – Tallyho and Swinger.

Hornithologist then nominated a Hashman who, on a kayaking trip decided to drown himself – Goodbye cruel world!  Captain Mortein had to save Ladyfinger.  After paddling in towards Ladyfinger, instead of rescuing him, he started taking photos of the spectacle.

Lewinsky nominated Transporter about complaining about his new employee – Prince and how he can’t fire him because it is his brother-in-law.  After 2 days on the job he was importing lots of Viagara.

Home ‘N’ Away was nominated by Ring Ring for saying he was going to meet her a Myna’s in 10 mins but was more like 30 minutes and was the result of them being late.
Then it was time for toast to the Hare and Host.  Captain came up with his sore foot – Tallyho mentioned it was lucky he wasn’t a horse or else would be in a can of Chum right now.  Slippery also had a down down whilst still trying to take photos of everyone.

Finally before the circle was called to a finish, Transporter and Celia got done for leaning on one of the many cars that were parked around the joint.
A final drink was had by all for DMT for leaving this weekend and not coming back until she’s had her bundle of joy.

A leaving party is being held for Ninja at Matareva on June 30.

Also GM called out to anyone interested in joining a team for the Perimeter Run to see Swinger or himself and put their names down.

The next Hash run will be hosted by the infamous Weathercock at Siusega.  Keep a look out on the web for further details. [ed note - its in the same neighbourhood as Tallyho and Swinger]
On On.
Desperate Housewife

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