Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Hash Trash 1766

The Hash was hosted by IRA at her house in Palisi, and several geographically challenged Hashers took their sweet time in finding their way. It had been a scorcher of a day and there we were so close to sea level, yet with a marvellous view of the departing rear of Queen Victoria. Musing over whether to forego the whole thing, Your Scribe was jolted into action by POD the GM. Apparently the run was out left and, oh no, straight up the hill. For those who haven’t run it, this would be a suitable yomp if you were a Nepalese Sherpa, or had been born and trained in a 5-G simulator, or were simply a bleeding masochist. The road itself is steep, windy and featured a number of bemused locals wondering who these idiots were. 

At the top the trail is more off road in nature, but adorned with multiple loose and slippery pebbles placed there to create maximum risk of slippage and dislocations. We all remember how Lewinsky had cunningly placed just such a pebble that caused Poumuli’s pratfall and subsequent dislocated shoulder at the 2013 Tafaigata run. In any case Crime had only gone part of the way up, so the papers ended at about 1/3 of the way. Many went as far as 1/2 way, with some like POD reaching the nosebleed section at the top of radio mast. Going downhill was equally cringeworthy and Your Scribe’s survival and lack of serious injury was not believed by Wahoo who insisted he couldn’t have gone too far. So it was with some relief that Godfather’s trusty nut supply was cracked and sucked down.

The GM called the circle to order and invited the newbies to step forward. They were Kathy (started at APTC on early childhood education – she could just work with the hashers, as they mostly fit in at that maturity level) and her manbag Dan. They had been brought by Slippery and got their first down down.

The retreads were Wahoo (dancing), Godfather (in NZ), Swinger (working). Shoe Inspector Screamer failed, but was joined by Lewinsky who falsely accused Godfather of having new shoes.
Celebrity Awards went to Cougar for Snatched (in paper galore), Sassygirl BJ for Hooker Lua (also in paper) and for the VERTS in Letogo, Swinger for BB’s brother Sam (Bluesky and Cook Islands story), Twin Peaks for outrageous rental price on his house, Poumuli  (SPREP story) and IRA (iron man contest story).

This Day in History Awards went to Titty Galore (1692 – Sarah Good, Sarah Osborne and Tituba are brought before local magistrates in Salem Village, Massachusetts, beginning what would become known as the Salem witch trials – Tituba is of course Iroquois for “abundant breasts”), Murray (1921 – The Australian cricket team captained by Warwick Armstrong becomes the first team to complete a whitewash of The Ashes, something that would not be repeated for 86 years – since he is now described as an elderly Aussie!), Twin Peaks for Yahoo (1995 – Yahoo! is incorporated – she was wearing her hair in twin peaks), IRA (2001 – 4 March 2001 BBC bombing: a massive car bomb explodes in front of the BBC Television Centre in London, seriously injuring one person. The attack was attributed to the Real IRA), Lewinsky and Crime (2003 – The International Criminal Court holds its inaugural session in The Hague – Lewinsky’s godfather was a judge at that session) and POD (Self Injury Awareness Day – for running to top of mountain).

The GM noted that Slippery’s guests were sitting and rewarded him for that. She then reminded that at the HQ1 run last week Potu had turned up and had expecting Swinger to be there, and then being informed by Swinger that he would only turn up to “real hashes”. Insulting the HQ1 Venue Award.
The GM then gave Lewinsky the Parenting Award for criticising Happy Face’s crayon drawings. Kathy got a Slow Learners Award for leaning again.

There had been some sort of cricketing event that Your Scribe had missed, but suffice it to say that Slippery took this  one for Oz and Steve for the Black Caps (silly name – why not Black Heads, or Shouldawornacap). Godfather had been to Napier in NZ, and Lewinsky had provided him with phone numbers for Rufie and Blowfish. After some conversation and asking to meet up, Godfather was informed that they were in Whanganui, not Napier, which is miles away. Try Looking At The Map Award to Lewinsky.

Sassy gave Iapi a Showing Off Award for going to the top and bragging about it. Poumuli nominated Wahoo for a Birthday Award. Godfather had been on the motorway in NZ when his phone rings and its Eveready asking if he is coming to Hash and to bring his ukulele. No I am in NZ. Swinger was nominated as an alternate but failed. Cougar also had known of the travel and had not told Eveready, so she joined Swinger in the Failing Award.

The Hare and the Hosts were saluted.

Next week will be the Return of the Son of The Bitch Run at Sassy’s. Following week will be at Iapi’s in Vaivase – a Dutch or Orange run, I forget. Then Screamer’s Farewell Run in Siusega.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

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