Thursday, October 08, 2015

Hash Trash - Run 1797

Thanks to Alex for the hash Trash

‘Twas, oddly enough, a night of Lion King and other Disney references.  And nuts.  Always nuts.  In answer to the question “can you feel the love tonight?” there was a resounding yes.  Except, perhaps, for Claudia and Jian Lucas.  Within the (Hash) circle of life were found coconuts, cat calls, jungle tales and nuts, cat calls, and even a Princess Jasmine cameo.
We were graced with the presence of two new would be hashers, one a former Manu Samoa player.   Perhaps it was the excesses of beer, or Speed Humper’s dance moves, but they didn’t last the night.
The down down’s round up:

·         Sassy was looking for a father, and Cock Blocker (CB) was looking for a mother, and they found each other.
·         Jian Lucas has been babysitting, and demonstrated a significant lack of beer guzzling technique.

New Shoes:
·         Coconut Hussy failed to find new treads*
*We’re all pretty sure Cunning Linguist’s (CL) shiny shoes got off scot-free, but CL didn’t due to his false accusations.

·         Wahoo and Sassy were this week’s newspaper celebrities.

GM Awards:
·         The karaoke krew were dragged in – Dazza for his suicidal song for suicide prevention; Speed Humper for dance demo-ing “feeling the love”; Kristiane aka Brad aka “Cock NOW” for being her mother’s daughter; and Katy for breaking hash name rules.

·         Sana and Bad Investment for wearing red – a tenuous link to the Japanese and rugby

·         Twin Peaks’ whipping boy Dazza for the questionable (and dated) bathroom decorations.  Twin Peaks, of course, knew nothing about the presence of Miss June or Princess Jasmine as he craps in the bush.  For Peaks’ chagrin, Dazza was gifted a full stein with the epithet “go hard or go home”.

·         Claudia and Jian Lucas for the cleaver pool attack and inappropriate references to “two heads”.  Hash name contender, JL?  Narrative voice: “Can you feel the love tonight?”

·         On the subject of Crime.   Not often are hashers mistaken for escaped prisoners**, but tonight was the night.  Separated from the Hash herd, Godfather and Crime scaled a mountain, climbed a sheer cliff in a downpour, fended of gun-toting residents and over 100 attack dogs to return bloody, but not beaten, to the fold.  Into the circle went GM for the false directions and false promise; CL the Hare for pissing off;  and CB and Dazza for being the beer-drinking search party that didn’t offer up a sip of their fare for the wounded warriors. 

Narrative voice: “Danger?  Hah!  I walk on the wild side.  I laugh in the face of danger.” – Simba.
*Fact check required.

·         At this point, Twin Peaks must have been getting thirsty, as he nominated himself for not setting the trail.  “Sick my arse” was the consensus.

·         Murray for being the Thurston look alike to acknowledge the Brisbane boys in the NRL bringing it home.

·         The birthday nominations – Coconut Hussy and Sassy in place of her son Son of the Bitch
·         A lively exchange between those that can’t keep a secret – Kristiane aka Brad aka Cock NOW and CB

·         And at this point, Sassy finds her stride (and her theme for the evening), nominating:
o   Lewinski whose dodgy patrons tended towards sexual harrasment of staff  
o   Wahoo for the White Sunday mother’s award.  While the cat’s away (Poumouli), the mice will play.
o   Dazza and Ever-Ready for problems with their nuts – Dazza’s for being too big*** and Ever-Ready’s for dragging up the stairs.
***According to Dazza.

·         And here the tables turn... Sassy for having nuts on her mind.

·         The remnant hashers are called in – Gill, Sunnyside up, and the humble scribe – for being thus far absent from the inner circle.

Next week – A BYO beach hash for White Sunday.  Watch this space.

Agreement was reached on acknowledgements for all those that donated through the Perimeter Run to Faatuaua Le Ola with the good grace of Godfather – a simple statement of thanks to friends, family and businesses for their support.

And with that, we broke into a serenade about wise men and ended with the cry “[Tagi mai  le pussy!”


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