Hash Trash - Run 1464 Cinco de Mayo

And what a day this turned out to be. Your assistant trainee scribe turned up early for the run, and was corralled by Snake into helping set the run, since no other Hare had turned up. Given the paucity of geographical knowledge Snake drove, while the assistant trainee scribe tossed paper, until he was ordered to find a path up a rather steep hill. Well it was a pretty steep one, and the pack should have realized that while the run would be short, the obvious distress that the assistant trainee scribe was exhibiting should have been a warning. Off the pack went, only to find a devious false trail to start them off. The trail continued up towards the heights, following the road until a new cross was found. Then the fun started. The trail went pretty much straight up, and while there were plenty handholds, some of these were ripped out by the more weighty hashers. Some excellent photographs were taken of the ungainly progress, but almost all the pack made it up to the road above. A slight mislaying of the paper sent some front running bastards further up, but they quickly returned. Snake had opined that anyone taking the uphill road after that climb had to have rocks in their heads, so a down-down was not awarded after all. The trail back was an easy one and the pack gradually reassembled at Bora Bora restaurant.
The GM greeted the Hash Circle with a hearty bienvenido in honour of Cinco de Mayo, with a promise of some surprises in store. Three visitors to Hash were introduced – Will from NZ (here for 6 months), Jeena (local) and Sonny from NZ (here for 26 more hours), the latter expressing gratitude for finally losing his Hash virginity. The GM then called on Gabor to demonstrate how to do the tequila down-downs – this was the first surprise. The rethreads – Pussy Snatcher and Orgy Georgy – did their tequila down-downs to the Tequilla song, with Godfather’s ukulele accompanied by Gabor on saxophone. The Shoe Inspector AC/DC found our newcomer Sonny had new shoes, and these were liberally doused in beer for his consumption.

To protect the Hash from swine flu, the GM called on our only resident Mexican – Avril – to step forward and be cleansed in an exorcism carried out by Skankanavian.

Celebrity Awards were handed to Pussy Snatcher (for being in the Cook Islands News), and for stories in the Observer - Dawn Raid (tennis coaching), Heather (salsa dancing) and Poumuli (climate change press release). There was some confusion regarding the Chicken Award, as FBI had conveniently run away, so the GM picked up the pace with a You Don’t Eat That in the Cinema Award to SOTB, Lewinsky and Skankanavian, for eating McDonalds in Magik Cinema.

Sassygirl, in her role as Samoa’s tourism supremo, nominated Michael for the Terrorizing Tourists Award for his notorious singing. On a roll, she nominated Ring Ring and Hobbes for the I’m Not The F’ing Chef Award, as they had refused to muck in and fix the BBQ. MilkMe turned up late and took his tequila with a nod.

At this point the Hash Circle was becoming exceedingly rowdy. The wisdom of the tequila was certainly now in doubt, but the GM pressed on as he spotted FBI, sans chicken hat, and awarded FBI a Don’t Know Chicken Shit Award for losing the chicken hat. Skankanavian called for a Matching Bandana and Liking It Backwards Award to Double D and Delectable. As mentioned in the blog this run was to be in honour of Cinco de Mayo, and a strict colour code had been called for. Swinger, Hobbes and Will were thus singled out for not being able to read. Godfather, having recently returned from eye operations received a Let There Be Light Award. The rowdiness was now so bad that no one noticed AC/DC switching the tequila for beer and downing the tequila himself. This needs to be addressed…

For living up to his name on the trail, Slippery got the Slippery Award from Poumuli for going arse over tit down the slope. SOTB had been nominated on the blog by Mr Whippy for a Scribe (Delinquent) Award (should be for Excellence - see editor's note below), which he took with ill humour. POD nominated Michael for taking Un-lady-like Pictures, which your assistant trainee scribe hopes we will all soon enjoy on the blog. Finally, Heather called on Fang for leaning, but it backfired into a False Accusation. Nevertheless, she got Fang as Whipping Girl for the beer.

Poumuli and Snake took their Hares Award, and the Hash also warmly thanked the host – Dean of Bora Bora. Pussy Snatcher had a close call, as he was observed chatting up some girls in the circle. AC/DC provided even more grounds for an award as he was actually smooching his girl. Again, this needs to be addressed…

Next week is Mother’s Day, so the run may be set out at Matareva Beach.

On On,

Poumuli.

Editor's note: The award should be for excellence. SOTB stepped-up and ran the blog alone for much of Feb and Mar while Mr. Whippy was away.