Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1466 Island Run

The run was hosted by AC/DC in honour of Sara’s birthday. As per usual, AC/DC was too busy cooking to set a trail, so like last time he commanded us to run up Mt. Vaea to the Stevenson Tomb. A brisk pace was set by Dawn Raid and Poumuli, but running in island shirts was not the best idea. Morten, Will and Pussysnatcher soon overtook, and led the way to the top. Morten was complaining about the lack of Norwegian stamina as he passed us on the way back down. The path was immensely slippery, and Poumuli went head first into the mud, and decided to walk the rest. Quite a few hashers made it to the top, but at this point it was getting too dark to see. Godfather was the last one up and brought the stragglers back safely. Some hot hashers took advantage of the rock pool to cool off after the run, no doubt poisoning the river downstream. So not much excitement on the trail as AC/DC had taken the easy way out and avoided being a hare.

At the start of the hash circle AC/DC explained the purpose of the hosting, which was to celebrate Sara’s birthday. A cake with only ten candles appeared, to much amusing cradle snatching calls. Ben Vaai led the hash in the birthday songs in English and Samoan.

There were many new faces, including several nursing students and their tutor from Canada. After investigating them for swine flu, the GM asked for medical advice on the rare ailment that he suffers from – rashy butt. The remedy – stop scratching it GM. The new faces included Mona, Kaylee, Tasha and Deborah from Canada, Dave from NZ and Valehope from Tokelau. The rules had not been properly explained to Mona so the GM got a down-down, rapidly followed by another for the GM for forgetting Karaoke’s hash name. Several rethreads stepped up and gave varyingly lame excuses for missing hash. These were Lezzie, Barzilian Wax, Lewinsky, Greg, Mr. Whippy and Adrian from NZ. Lezzie should have gotten a double since he admitted to participating in girls’ sports.

AC/DC carried out his shoe inspection and found three – Adrian, Kaylee and Mona. All bravely drank the brew from their swampy shoes.

Celebrity Awards were given to Poumuli (climate change story), Godfather (sending labour overseas), Brazilian Wax, Sassygirl and SOTB for the sailing story.

A TV Celebrity Award was then given to FBI and Poumuli for their performances on local news.

Since the theme for the run was Polynesian, the GM called forward all who had disobeyed and were not attired properly. These were Morten, Will, Adrian, Snake and our four Canadians. Snake was also nominated for a Indecent Behaviour Award, which he got amended to Conduct Becoming a Hashman Award.

As mentioned, this is the second time that AC/DC has hosted without setting a trail, so a Lazy Hare/Tortoise Award was invented. It was Morten’s first run since becoming a father, and since it was a daughter a double was ordered.

Sassygirl nominated Tony Blair, Selena and Gabor for the Best Dressed Award. POD nominated Lewinsky for going on excessive numbers of fishing trips and not getting any fish. Instead he managed to kill a rat with a spoon (!) in Pago. Hobbes was caught leaning, and SOTB nominated Brazilian Wax for the Sailing Skills Award.

AC/DC had partially redeemed himself by providing a second keg, and the flowing nectar was making the hash circle quite rowdy. Sassygirl nominated Will for the Pecs Award for trying to (unsuccessfully) impress the four Canadians, who were seen to be slipping away. The GM gave a down-down to Delectable and Double D for calling him at 5.20 PM to ask about directions to the hash. In fine form, the GM presented Sara and her partners (yes, we all wondered) with the Dick Glass Award. Since AC/DC attempted to help finish it, thereby violating the rules of hash, and of all other decency considerations, he was awarded the Booby Glass Award. It became a double as he answered the phone on his way into the circle.

Selena demonstrated how Sassygirl had interrupted a golfing game to pose and model, and this should rank with the celebrity awards. She later received a Posing Award from FBI. BB came late, but claimed to have just delivered a baby. On that theme, SOTB nominated FBI for Endangering Young Minds Award for moderating a school IT debate while under the influence, which FBI strenuously denied. Well, at this point he could hardly string a sentence anymore, so the award was maintained. Poumuli tried to get SOTB an Intellectual Award for watching the news and only counting the minutes of a news item for purposes of giving Poumuli an award. After a vote, both of them had to drink. Sassygirl was on a roll now, and nominated Karaoke for Incitement To Not Wear Underpants With Lavalava Award, while Pussysnatcher got Sara and partners (yes, again) for not participating in the hash circle. Delectable recounted how useless Double D was around the house, so he got the Battery Dis-service Award. Lewinsky accused Poumuli of trying to ski down Mt. Vaea (this was only partially true), while Gordon Ramsey and Lezzie were brought front and centre for chatting up Sara’s partners during the circle. Dawn Raid wholly inaccurately recounted how he had only received 3 bottles out of 2 cases of Vailima on Sunday, so Poumuli was joined by Gabor and Avril in a Beer Hogging Award. Selena was disappointed that her weekend dancing partners Karaoke and the GM preferred their jacuzzi over their friends. Avril thought Snake had set a too dangerous trail last week, and showed the scars on her (according to Snake, unshaved) legs. Since it is FBI’s job to inspect body parts, this should result in a further down-down next week. Sassygirl pointed out that Fats had tried to sneak in on the hash, while BB nominated AC/DC for the Clueless Award. Apparently he had first invited the whole of the UN to the hash, only to later send around an email stating that he would be out of the office for family commitments. In a further repeat from last week, Snake nominated Selena and Tony Blair for the Well Hung Meat Award.

Since we had no hare, AC/DC and Sara were given the Hareless and Host Award. Ben Vaai and several hashers formed up a band that entertained through the evening.

Next week will be hosted by Michael and Heather out at Taumesina, near where Lewinsky resides. Please lets have a real trail this time!!!!

On On!


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