Hash trash 1527
Assistant Blogmaster’s notice – this column has been modified to fit your expectations, and to keep it to Family Hash language. It has also been re-titled to 1527, as Screamer was getting ahead of herself, but thanks to Screamer for the Trash. Poumuli, IKA Slit.
Hash Run 1527 was hosted by Snake and Fang at what has been dubbed “Snake Pit 2” – Senese School at Vaitele.
The much-maligned hare, then known as Peter (aka Spanky’s bro), set his inaugural – and possibly final - trail that seems to have confounded most. Since the co-scribe managed to miss the actual run (a first, she would like noted), she has had to piece things together based on the various whingeing’s of the pack: “false trail right at the beginning going uphill”, “climbing a dirt pile” and “it was all wrong” were heard as the pack trailed in slowly.
Today’s interim GM was Wahoo who had to enlist several (un)helpful hands in calling the circle to order. There were no new boots – a bit of a novelty for Apia Hash of late (CB must be slipping) but several rethreads stepped up – Mana, Alan, Sarai, Mele and Sassy.
Swinger was called on for “Falling in the Snake Pit” (he dropped his car in a hole) but since it was actually Snake guiding him, they both took a drink.
Spanky received the Michael Jackson award for whining about being on a faculty choir.
Hussy of the Week went to Slim Shady for flashing her breasts at the leader of this nation…for 15,000 bucks, co-scribe figures it’s not a bad deal. So impressed was the Circle, that Slim was given the special mug to drink from.
Brazilian Wax received a special award for general good humour and affability – something to do with good behaviour on Rock Da Boat.
The Big Loser World Cup award was taken by CB, SOTB (not quite sure why – he’s German) and Sarai (Lewinsky stood in as whipping boy since she had a medical certificate).
Peter received yet another Overstayer award and we are told he is definitely leaving on Sunday.
Screamer was handed a celebrity award for being generally awesome overall and deserving of such things. (Ed note: is this correct? Shurely some mishpelling…)
A number of awards were dished out to several of those who had participated in boat-based revelry to celebrate Screamer’s birthday. CB was cited for vandalism (generally having a good time, getting excited and breaking a light); SOTB for his puking girlfriend, BB for good behaviour (WHAT?) and Wahoo for getting on the wrong boat and trying to rock da dinghy instead.
Several other nominations continued: Peter for generosity as hare and pointing out the trail to all; Snake for poor advice to a new hare; Marc for indecent exposure (cited by Sassy who was promptly had up for perving at Marc in the first place); Sassy again for apparently getting so worked up thinking about it, she needed “another” shower.
A special mention for SOTB who got the “Please Abuse Me” award for his harem of chicks who seemingly did things to him that had both BB and Titty Galore blushing.
Vai Vai and Chook are trying to buy up Apia so a Colonialism/Entrepreneurial Award was dished out.
It started raining around this point and several disgruntled hashers unanimously called Snake up for the “save the children” award as leaks sprung from the poorly-maintained school roof.
Mana leaned and was caught out. Unfortunately, she’d just discovered what a whipping boy was and got Alan to drink for her.
CB was awarded for something that co-scribe can’t recall but figures he probably deserved it.
BB told a story of ZsaZsa stripping to his yellow undies in honour of Spain’s win and tried to get Swinger to take the fall for this (blaming him for getting everyone drunk) but this resulted in a boomerang award when Swinger told of BB leaving the cooking to check out said undies. Swinger and BB took a couple’s award.
Another gas bottle discussion was held leading to SOTB taking the award. Although it seems this one was a congratulatory award. They finally got it right!
Snake was justly awarded for apparently possessing superhero qualities that enable him to control all the traffic lights in the country.
BB thanked Everready for ruining her Sunday by bringing a keg to the breakfast world cup event which ended in her much-loved friends not leaving till 5pm that evening.
Both Everready and Karaoke were awarded for a fabulous feast held in honour of Desirable on the Saturday.
Shelley, Fang and NutCracker drank simply because they hadn’t yet while Lewinsky was awarded for scoffing large quantities of oysters in an attempt to “break the bed”. Seems he failed on that count but he looked pretty pleased with himself, nonetheless. Choohoo!!
Crime, true to his name was hiding in the dark and was dragged out into the light while Snake was had up for inappropriately discussing the various uses of mother’s milk.
Lewinsky and Crash were nominated for being bachelor-wanna-be’s which involved heading out to a ‘jobsite’ at 10 in the morning but not returning till midnight last Sunday.
Peter got an extra one for this being his last run (co-scribe wonders if the GM herself was a tad over the limit at this point as she’s sure there was an earlier nomination on this).
Screamer was awarded for something that wasn’t clear. She took it anyway in the spirit of the quest to empty the keg.
Fang and Peter took the host and hare award and then a surprise for the hashers! Snake had apparently consulted with the Monk and stood in for an impromptu naming. Peter, who has been with Hash for the past 6 weeks was named…Fiapoko (for those who don’t know – this roughly translates to ‘know-all’) (Ed note: I was told “smartarse”). Co-scribe is not too sure about the appropriateness of the name and fears it is a family thing but hey, orders from the Monk cannot be ignored.
Today’s run was a byo and co-scribe is pleased to note there was plenty of beautiful food to feed the masses. Thanks to those who organized the bbq.
Next run at Shelley’s in Vaoala.