Friday, December 03, 2010

Hash Trash 1545

(Ed note - thanks to Spanky for obviously assisting Screamer with her remedial English - only a few typos this time around. Hope you all enjoy the Christmas Run - Feliz Navidad and hasta la pasta from Poumuli, IKA Slit in Cancun)

Hash 1545 was held at Slippery’s and Frances’ home. This was the Thanksgiving Hash – more on that later.

The run was set by Hareraiser, Ring Ring. A familiar run that commenced with a few panicked looks as hashers recalled the last run from Slippery’s that had them running over mountains and down valleys for more than an hour. This week’s run was less taxing but the heat ensured that there were some very tired runners by the end of it.

GM Princess of Darkness commenced proceedings and welcomed a long list of those new to Apia Hash. These included Jana, her husband (why do people mumble their names??)(why are Assistant Trainee Scribes too pissed to pay attention?), Salu (who came with Do Me Twice), Virginia, Jochen, Brigitte, Dietrich and a number of others who had come from Germany to help Harlich celebrate his 60th birthday in Apia.

Rethreads were Sassy, Vera, Harlich and Black Adder. Ring Ring insisted that Vulture was a rethread and had to drink for a false accusation.

There were no new shoes but Snake, the inspector, needed a drink and this was duly administered.

Salu and Karin took a celebrity award for holding the flag for stopping violence against women. Ninja had also been in the news as was Godfather. Snake had to join Godfather as it seems Snake’s mum spends an unseemly amount of time checking out Godfather on TV. Sassy Girl BJ received a rather special celebrity award – for a movie suspiciously titled “My Sassy Girl” – rented out by no less than Captain Mortein. They shared centre circle.

The Good Samaritan (Dumbarse Section) award of the week went to Swinger who, after giving three policemen a ride into town, discovered they had made off with his camera.

Tramp and Woman in Black are in town but did not front up to Hash due to various ailments so the two women dressed in black – Brigitte? (one of Harlich’s party) and Salu drank on WIB’s behalf while Tramp was well-represented by Greenie.

Karin was caught leaning.

Assistant Trainee Scribe had not got the scribings done on time (she had managed to send them out at 5:05pm that day) and GM has been receiving complaints from Poumuli (currently in Cancun) on this. Wahoo also took one on behalf of Poumuli who seems to spend an excessive amount of time checking the blog when on work travel (Absolute bollocks, just checking it once in a while). Romeo had cellphonus interruptus and Brynne arrived just in time so everyone shared the circle centre.

Tasha told Sass she would be wearing a “V” -String to hash next week…we are all waiting with bated breath.

Godfather had tried to mow down a Hash Mere on the cross island road when trying to get to family lunch on time on Sunday. This could become a regular award for GF.

DMT had managed to ruin two car tyres in one week – dropping the car in the same pothole, according to SOTB.

Pirate Princess had declined Eveready’s offer to open one of Godfather’s nuts for her because she claimed she had brought her own nutcracker…seems she was referring to Captain Mortein.

Black Adder was leaving the country and leaving behind a pile of shit (at the newly constructed and very smelly waste water treatment plant in Mulinuu) according to Sassy. Snake was also brought up for the dodgy wiring he’d installed. Black Adder was also farewelled in the circle and he added that every minute with hash had been enjoyable.

Jana and her husband were cited for chatting incessantly. There was some talk that Greenie was involved but he somehow managed to keep out of the centre.

Angela is leaving for some time so she was farewelled with a drink.

At about this stage it was clear the keg was next to empty….HOW, Assistant Trainee Scribe wonders. So the hare (Ring Ring) and the hosts, Slippery and Eveready (who drank a soft drink which was just as well, given the beer situation) were thanked and then we were reminded that this was the Thanksgiving Hash. Godfather and Brynne explained the meaning and purpose of this American tradition, which has now become firmly integrated in Apia Hash. He also used the opportunity to encourage hashers to give to the Lifeline fundraising drive (Lifeline is a phone counseling service that deals with suicide). Deadline for donations (to DMT) is Monday next week.

Eveready and Karaoke were thanked for the turkeys they had cooked, the food was blessed and hungry (and thankful) hashers descended.

Next hash is the Christmas Hash and will be held at the Snake Pit in town. Hashers are asked to come in their Christmas costumes. They will run to different bars in town, sing Christmas carols and drink a lot. Everyone is asked to come in a taxi or have a designated driver who won’t be drinking.

Addendum – after dinner, hashers were treated to a surprise visit from the Monk. Beers had been brought in and a quick naming ceremony commenced. Brynne shall now be known as Kiss My Butt for her amazing flexibility displayed at yoga while Angela was named Wax for her affiliations with Brazilian Wax.

On On.

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