Greetings from Vanuatu - excellent trash provided by Desperate Housewife.
Lukim me yu
Poumuli, IKA Slt
This week’s Hash Run was held at Twin Peaks
place off Bank Street. As there was no
set course, Tallyho in the role of GM nominated CB to be the Hare. So off we went following the Hare down
slippery roads towards the jungle below.
Many of us realising going down meant having to come back up.
Later in the run, CB gave the Hasher’s two
options: the shorter route which was led
by Ring Ring, or the longer way led by CB.
All the softies went with Ring Ring, whilst the tougher ones went on,
knowing that they had a long hill on the way back. The shorter route ended up near Myna’s, the
longer out near SPREP.
No major events during the run except maybe
Sexpot stomping in puddles to drench Desperate Housewife (now you know why
she’s desperate!). Everyone returned
safely and a lot hotter and tired than the outset.
After a few pre-Hash Circle beverages, the
Circle was called to order with GM Tallyho calling it the Full Moon Hash,
luckily the moon in the sky was the only “moon” we saw that night, the
exhibitionists were subdued.
The newbies were called up first and they
included 3 med students. Bruce and Sarah
from Scotland, and Lauren from
Australia. They are all here for 4
weeks. As it was a full moon hash Tallyho
thought it fitting they had a down down as a welcome to Hash. They were introduced to Hash by another Med
student Pete, who then gallantly took another down down because Lauren wasn’t
told the rules and was wearing her hat whilst doing her down down. You med students need to brush up on the Hash
rules before coming to Hash next week!
Rethreads including Zsa Zsa (was travelling
to many countries), Brent & Annie (who followed the rumour that the White
Sunday Hash was in Savaii and were waiting for everyone to turn up), Paul &
John (who both returned home), and Yours Truly (DH) who was living it tough in
Noosa and Fiji.
Tallyho then presented to the circle the
“Hash Shrine” (a banged up washing basket with lots of trinkets collected from
previous Hash Runs). The latest addition
a pair of runners from the White Sunday Run at Tafatafa. Although there was a lot of interest in them,
no claims were made. Due to the fear of
maybe having to drink out of them as a form of punishment for lack of
responsibility over one’s property.
This Day in History did not happen due to
the uncertainty of who was to be Scribe (and due to lack of internet at DH’s
house) – Bluesky!! Down Down for SOTB
when he returns, or maybe closest living relative?
At this time a Latecummer was spotted in
the form of the almighty Sassygirl. She
was delayed due to solving the world’s problems (global warming, world peace,
etc). She was given a down down along
with Ladyfinger who was desecrating the Hash Shrine!
Shoe Inspector Lewinsky was called to
inspect the Hasher’s shoes. After the
run none really looked like new, but Brent owned up and downed his beer even
after running through pig excrement.
The Celebrity Award went to three people
this week. Sexpot for an article in the
paper (offering loans to Fallen Women), Emily and Lucy for two newspaper
articles (for their role in surf lifesaving) and GF for the Media Trifecta –
newspaper, radio and television. Gayboy
tried to call in Tallyho for a celebrity award after taking a photo of a box in
Ah Liki’s full of Tallyhos but Tallyho claimed Double Jeopardy saying that it
was mentioned in last week’s Hash.
Tallyho then pointed out that three
short-term Hash Members – the med students - were good enough to wear Hash t-shirts and
then went on to scold all the regular Hashmen and Meres for not wearing their
Hash shirts. He rewarded the med
students with a drink.
The floor was then open for nominations
regarding the run in which Desperate Housewife nominated Sexpot for the Wife
Bashing Award for the puddle stomping in which she ingested pothole mud – mmmm
mmmm! Sexpot also got the child abuse
award for punching his daughter’s two front teeth out (that’s what she told a
plane passenger when he asked what happened to her teeth). In turn Lewinsky was given a congratulatory
down down for NOT getting the bad parent award as per usual.
One of the medical students, Shaun,
nominated a Hashmere Andrea for being seasick on DMT’s boat, not in the toilet
but the SINK and leaving a towel to cover it and forgetting to take it off the
boat once they returned to dry land.
Shaun did not call DMT by her Hash name, so he got a down down for that
mistake.
A Newlywed Nomination went to Top Shelf and
her beau Mr Topshelf (David) who made an honest woman of her.
Sassygirl nominated Hashmere Tomorrow as
she saw a photo of Sassy on facebook and said that she liked her hips, when it
was actually Sassy’s derriere. Prince was quick to pipe up, telling us
ignoramus that the Japanese word for hips and butt are the same. Then Twin Peaks started banging on about
upskirting in Tokyo and he was called up.
So in the end all three, Tomorrow, Prince and Twin Peaks all had a down
down.
Sassy then proceeded to nominate Ladyfinger
for calling her a genius (which she thought was baloney). Ladyfinger explained by saying that Sassy
manages to deflect down downs from herself to others, in particularly
Ladyfinger.
Gayboy tried to nail Lewinsky with a
nomination from last week involving Lewinsky’s sore hips from being bashed by
POD, but it was old news. However they
both got a down down for taking a short cut on this run.
The Inspiration Award went to Emily
nominated by Sassy for her epic swim from Le Lagoto to Stevensons. Well done Emily!
Twin Peaks nominated Pomuli’s dog Murdoch
for a down down for being a pain but this backfired as he was looking after him
and so was the closest living relative.
Zsa Zsa won Entertainer Award for keeping
Lucy’s boss entertained all night. He
said he was playing his “instrument” for 200 people that same night. Busy man our Zsa Zsa.
CB was done for hoovering the food whilst
the Hash Circle was still going on. (No
wonder there wasn’t much left come chow time).
Lewinsky got the “Eagle Eye Award”, for catching CB in the act.
Prick of the Week nominations were called
and Sexpot, still sore from his double down down, was quick to call out
Desperate Housewife, who came back by nominating him and calling on a vote from
the fellow Hashers as to who would get it.
Voting was about to take place when Prince came out with the best
nomination of Lewinsky: for making
Prince and Transporter have drinks with him and making them shout even though
they were both drinking beers and Lewinsky vodka and soda. So Lewinsky said he would make it up to them
by shouting the next round – shots of Bicardi 151 (ethanol). Prince and Transporter struggled with the
shots but Lewinsky downed his effortlessly.
He later revealed that his shot was water. Lewinsky refuted this and said that everyone
drank the same and he can just handle it better.
Tallyho said that we are all making
Lewinsky fat because we are all drinking at his establishment.
We then cheered the Hare and Host, CB and
Twin Peaks.
Sassygirl then made an announcement about
the upcoming Halloween night at Y-Not supporting Lifeline Samoa and also
mentioned shirts for the walkathon supporting the same organisation. The Walkathon is being held on the 10th
November. Contact Titty G, Gayboy and CB
for more details.
Next week’s Hash is being hosted by Sexpot
and Desperate Housewife at the Apia Yacht Club.
On
On.
Desperate Housewife
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