Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Hash Trash 1646

Greetings from Vanuatu - excellent trash provided by Desperate Housewife.
Lukim me yu
Poumuli, IKA Slt

This week’s Hash Run was held at Twin Peaks place off Bank Street.  As there was no set course, Tallyho in the role of GM nominated CB to be the Hare.  So off we went following the Hare down slippery roads towards the jungle below.  Many of us realising going down meant having to come back up.
Later in the run, CB gave the Hasher’s two options:  the shorter route which was led by Ring Ring, or the longer way led by CB.  All the softies went with Ring Ring, whilst the tougher ones went on, knowing that they had a long hill on the way back.  The shorter route ended up near Myna’s, the longer out near SPREP.
No major events during the run except maybe Sexpot stomping in puddles to drench Desperate Housewife (now you know why she’s desperate!).  Everyone returned safely and a lot hotter and tired than the outset. 
After a few pre-Hash Circle beverages, the Circle was called to order with GM Tallyho calling it the Full Moon Hash, luckily the moon in the sky was the only “moon” we saw that night, the exhibitionists were subdued.
The newbies were called up first and they included 3 med students.  Bruce and Sarah from Scotland,  and Lauren from Australia.  They are all here for 4 weeks.  As it was a full moon hash Tallyho thought it fitting they had a down down as a welcome to Hash.  They were introduced to Hash by another Med student Pete, who then gallantly took another down down because Lauren wasn’t told the rules and was wearing her hat whilst doing her down down.  You med students need to brush up on the Hash rules before coming to Hash next week!
Rethreads including Zsa Zsa (was travelling to many countries), Brent & Annie (who followed the rumour that the White Sunday Hash was in Savaii and were waiting for everyone to turn up), Paul & John (who both returned home), and Yours Truly (DH) who was living it tough in Noosa and Fiji.
Tallyho then presented to the circle the “Hash Shrine” (a banged up washing basket with lots of trinkets collected from previous Hash Runs).  The latest addition a pair of runners from the White Sunday Run at Tafatafa.  Although there was a lot of interest in them, no claims were made.  Due to the fear of maybe having to drink out of them as a form of punishment for lack of responsibility over one’s property.
This Day in History did not happen due to the uncertainty of who was to be Scribe (and due to lack of internet at DH’s house) – Bluesky!!  Down Down for SOTB when he returns, or maybe closest living relative?
At this time a Latecummer was spotted in the form of the almighty Sassygirl.  She was delayed due to solving the world’s problems (global warming, world peace, etc).  She was given a down down along with Ladyfinger who was desecrating the Hash Shrine!
Shoe Inspector Lewinsky was called to inspect the Hasher’s shoes.  After the run none really looked like new, but Brent owned up and downed his beer even after running through pig excrement.
The Celebrity Award went to three people this week.  Sexpot for an article in the paper (offering loans to Fallen Women), Emily and Lucy for two newspaper articles (for their role in surf lifesaving) and GF for the Media Trifecta – newspaper, radio and television.  Gayboy tried to call in Tallyho for a celebrity award after taking a photo of a box in Ah Liki’s full of Tallyhos but Tallyho claimed Double Jeopardy saying that it was mentioned in last week’s Hash.
Tallyho then pointed out that three short-term Hash Members – the med students -  were good enough to wear Hash t-shirts and then went on to scold all the regular Hashmen and Meres for not wearing their Hash shirts.  He rewarded the med students with a drink.
The floor was then open for nominations regarding the run in which Desperate Housewife nominated Sexpot for the Wife Bashing Award for the puddle stomping in which she ingested pothole mud – mmmm mmmm!  Sexpot also got the child abuse award for punching his daughter’s two front teeth out (that’s what she told a plane passenger when he asked what happened to her teeth).  In turn Lewinsky was given a congratulatory down down for NOT getting the bad parent award as per usual.
One of the medical students, Shaun, nominated a Hashmere Andrea for being seasick on DMT’s boat, not in the toilet but the SINK and leaving a towel to cover it and forgetting to take it off the boat once they returned to dry land.  Shaun did not call DMT by her Hash name, so he got a down down for that mistake.
A Newlywed Nomination went to Top Shelf and her beau Mr Topshelf (David) who made an honest woman of her.
Sassygirl nominated Hashmere Tomorrow as she saw a photo of Sassy on facebook and said that she liked her hips, when it was actually Sassy’s derriere. Prince was quick to pipe up, telling us ignoramus that the Japanese word for hips and butt are the same.  Then Twin Peaks started banging on about upskirting in Tokyo and he was called up.  So in the end all three, Tomorrow, Prince and Twin Peaks all had a down down.
Sassy then proceeded to nominate Ladyfinger for calling her a genius (which she thought was baloney).  Ladyfinger explained by saying that Sassy manages to deflect down downs from herself to others, in particularly Ladyfinger.
Gayboy tried to nail Lewinsky with a nomination from last week involving Lewinsky’s sore hips from being bashed by POD, but it was old news.  However they both got a down down for taking a short cut on this run.
The Inspiration Award went to Emily nominated by Sassy for her epic swim from Le Lagoto to Stevensons.  Well done Emily!
Twin Peaks nominated Pomuli’s dog Murdoch for a down down for being a pain but this backfired as he was looking after him and so was the closest living relative.
Zsa Zsa won Entertainer Award for keeping Lucy’s boss entertained all night.  He said he was playing his “instrument” for 200 people that same night.  Busy man our Zsa Zsa.
CB was done for hoovering the food whilst the Hash Circle was still going on.  (No wonder there wasn’t much left come chow time).  Lewinsky got the “Eagle Eye Award”, for catching CB in the act.
Prick of the Week nominations were called and Sexpot, still sore from his double down down, was quick to call out Desperate Housewife, who came back by nominating him and calling on a vote from the fellow Hashers as to who would get it.  Voting was about to take place when Prince came out with the best nomination of Lewinsky:  for making Prince and Transporter have drinks with him and making them shout even though they were both drinking beers and Lewinsky vodka and soda.  So Lewinsky said he would make it up to them by shouting the next round – shots of Bicardi 151 (ethanol).  Prince and Transporter struggled with the shots but Lewinsky downed his effortlessly.  He later revealed that his shot was water.  Lewinsky refuted this and said that everyone drank the same and he can just handle it better.
Tallyho said that we are all making Lewinsky fat because we are all drinking at his establishment.
We then cheered the Hare and Host, CB and Twin Peaks.
Sassygirl then made an announcement about the upcoming Halloween night at Y-Not supporting Lifeline Samoa and also mentioned shirts for the walkathon supporting the same organisation.  The Walkathon is being held on the 10th November.  Contact Titty G, Gayboy and CB for more details.
Next week’s Hash is being hosted by Sexpot and Desperate Housewife at the Apia Yacht Club.
 On On.
Desperate Housewife

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