The Hash was hosted by Crime, Swinger and BB at Crime’s place by Apia Park. It was a rainy day, and we were sent out into the continuous steady drizzle that only an Englishman could enjoy, but actually Tallyho was equally griping about the conditions. We followed some well-trod trails on this mainly road run. There were a few false trails as we got into the Faatoia area, as well as on Faipule Street. The FRBs thought we were heading over to the cemetery opposite NUS, but Gayboy and Tallyho had other thoughts and took a shortcut to reach the trail on Vailele Street. It was then a gentle run back to Apia Park through to Crime’s house. It was a relatively short and brisk run, but the conditions were rather awful. Particularly the corners and the inclines and downhills were particularly soapy, and it was a wonder that no legs were shattered or bums impacted.
SOTB was present as the GM and called the circle to as much order as was possible given the sheeting rain and the accumulated pools on the tarp that kept dropping onto unsuspecting Hashers. New to Apia Hash were Tina and Gareth from NZ (teachers over for a while), and Portia and Karen who had been brought by someone imitating Poumuli and Dawn Raid. This vile trick by Witch Doctor was soon revenged.
Rethreads were Poumuli, Fang, Prince, Twin Peaks, Tomorrow and Craig, while Hippy was caught leaning. The Shoe Inspector Lewinsky found none, much to his dismay.
This Day in History went to Gayboy (1787 Herschel discovers the moons of Uranus, and the award was for someone who has done some similar explorations around Uranus), Dawn Raid (1814 Treaty of Kiel hands over Norway to Sweden), Witch Doctor (1938 Norway claims Queen Maud’s Land in Antarctica), Hot Nuts (1946 first UN General Assembly), Tomorrow (1952 debut of NBC’s Today programme) and Swinger (International Fetish Day).
Celebrity Awards went to Sexpot for being in the paper handing out “scholarships” to little girls, Tallyho and Hippy for being on TV (TH claimed they were honing their voices for the Hash singing) and POD and Lewinsky for being on the radio.
The GM was well pleased that the Hash Mugs were back after 6 long weeks, apparently having been found under Transporter’s Dad’s bed. The rest of us were pleased that they had been washed! Since it was a double award, Prince had to help out.
Then there was the Hasher who had been dropped off at the run by a dodgy looking Samoan, and upon enquiry the GM had been told that his car had been lost in the cyclone. As Today is off in Japan, the GM asked why not get her to send a new car to Tomorrow, to which he replied that he has already asked for new wife and new car!
Gemma had told the GM she was leaving Hash early, yet she had stayed and to the delight of many had been furnished with a white t-shirt by Gayboy, already translucent in the rain. Wet T-Shirt Award.
The GM also wanted to punish Tallyho for forgetting the Hash Shrine, although he had found a suitable addition on the run in the form of a little fellow, but all agreed that Tallyho’s little fellow needed to be put away, if not down. He was quickly joined by Twin Peaks for leaning, and for making Public Awareness Announcements at random points.
Finally, the GM congratulated Poumuli on joining the Fathers Club as well as DADD (Dads Against Daughters Dating – shoot the first one who comes courting, the word will get around).
First off in the dobbs was Tallyho who invoked the no fondling on the Hash rule, subsection incestuous, for Dawn Raid and Witch Doctor for the public massaging that had been observed or ignored by most. It was opined that the dirty old man was jealous, so he joined them in the award.
Sassygirl BJ nominated Gayboy and Lewinsky for rescuing the beer (there is still a keg etc at my house!). Hot Nuts nominated BB for leaving, and Swinger for already showing withdrawal symptoms. Poumuli nominated Tallyho and Gayboy for being Short Cutting Bastards and Stick for being blind on the run, but it was clarified that Tallyho had followed Gayboy so he was reprieved.
Sassy nominated Alcatraz for some Hash Cash problems, while Tallyho gave her the Insensitive Award for running in a full raincoat through these rain-drenched and devastated areas. Poumuli had some Hashshit to add to the Shrine, but Gemma wanted her bottle back so she got a down-down instead. Gayboy was leaning.
Transporter had been at OTR when the police came to close it down, yet the pool game continued. Lewinsky’s explanation of having the Commissioner on his payroll earned him a Corleone Award. Gayboy launched into a rather incomprehensible story about getting a whole piece of povi from Lewinsky. It was too much FBI, and was amicably resolved by giving the down-down to Transporter, Gayboy and Lewinsky as well as Brent for some associated bribery.
Alcatraz had been on hols in Oz, and had been asked by a Hash Mere to get an I-Phone, but as there are no Apple Stores in Tasmania (only sheep-shagging accoutrements suppliers) she had been forced to buy it online. Emily took a double as a result but needed assistance from Gayboy.
The Hare and the hosts were saluted. Some announcements were then made – AC/DC will have a party for the Hash around the 26th of January, and he had made a special request for a down-down for Dawn Raid for securing his Tokelau visa (Fakaofo only I hope). There was also an announcement for a cross-dressing fundraiser at Y-Not on the 16th.
Watch the blog for next week’s run.
Poumuli, IKA Slit