Since Hashers seem to be becoming a bunch of dozy slackers,
and no one offered to host this week, so we ended up down at On the Rocks.
Lewinsky – publican extraordinaire – hosted us with his usual disdain for the
regular punters. Or grumpy sods as Tallyho refers to them. It had been
drizzling a bit so the weather was good for a stomp around Apia. Tallyho agreed
to be the live hare on condition that rule 18(b) be held in abeyance. This is
the one about allowing you to de-bag (shorts removal) the Hare if you catch
him. Off he yomped, running through the parking lot and out the back into
Mulivai, taking in a few hash halts to gather the throng. Making our way onto
the airport road, we headed up towards the four corners, but instead turned in
towards Apoula Heights. The Hare became hesitant and first went one way, turned
back and took the other fork, hesitated again, until Godfather negotiated
passage through a garden and we arrived up below the hospital. This was a
tremendous climb, apparently the shortcut for pregnant Samoan women expecting
to have them. Further up we went swinging left by the hospital and hitting
Cross-Island Road. The Hare decided to take the FRBs on a longer run through to
Vaisigano, but more sensible persons followed Godfather on-home. It was a run
that could best be described by the Swedish term lagom.
The circle was formed and the non-running GM SOTB took charge,
and first ascertained that there were no newbies, and instead got the lame
excuses of the rethreads – Hot Nuts, Nutcracker, Da Head, Karaoke, Cockblocker
and Anthony. They all got down-downs although Karaoke said something about
trading in for a younger model when Eveready was reticent about assisting.
The Shoe Inspector, Snake, sniffed around and to the
surprise of no one decided that Darren’s work boots had to be new to Hash.
Darren bravely quaffed the rapidly vomit-inducing mixture from his boots.
Celebrity Awards went to Snatched for story in the Observer (given to Ally
because she is approximately the same height) and Anthony for being on the
front page.
This Day in History went to SOTB – a double – (363 – The
Roman Emperor Julian defeats the Sassanid army in the Battle of Ctesiphon,
under the walls of the Sassanid capital, but is unable to take the city. And 451
– Battle of Avarayr between Armenian rebels and the Sassanid Empire takes
place. The Empire defeats the Armenians militarily but guarantees them freedom
to openly practice Christianity.), Lewinsky – also double for his sister for
Feast Day of St Bona (1997 – The U.S. Supreme Court rules that Paula Jones can
pursue her sexual harassment lawsuit against President Bill Clinton while he is
in office.), Robin (1998 – The first "National Sorry Day" was held in
Australia, and reconciliation events were held nationally, and attended by over
a million people.), and Poumuli (International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers).
Turning to the GM’s awards, he swiftly punished Poumuli for
parking like a dick, and he was joined by Overstayer for a similar offence.
Prince was rewarded for his successful participation in the paddling regatta to
Savaii, just as Darren was given a Leaners Award.
Then after the run, the GM had beer spilled on him through
his own bloody stupid fault, but he concocted evidence against Poumuli, whose
cup it was, and further punishment was meted out in the usual gratuitous
manner. Sharing the burden, he gave Alcatraz the surf life saver award for her
heroic participation.
Opening up for nominations, Hot Nuts quickly opined that
Hare had been too fast, and had left his slipper behind, which Hot Nuts
produced. While we were all quite certain that this would not fit Tallyho’s
left nut, let alone a peter heater as he called it, the slipper was obviously
new to Hash and a down down was taken.
The Rooters Award went to Godfather, and was taken by
Closest Living Relative, Wahoo. Tallyho was impressed by a Mere who did the
whole run, but left him behind at the on-home. For Undue Athleticism POD was
awarded, joined by CB and Robin.
Snake, for some reason considered a fish expert, had been
cutting the sashimi in such varying sizes as slivers to doorstopper. While he
struggled to prove this as a false accusation, he ended taking the Fishmongers
Award. Xavier informed the circle that the kids had made some ulas, and a
Hasher had asked to wear one, and was thus leid by another guy. Anthony took
the Rule 2 Award – no poofters on the Hash.
Prince was then awarded for spilling beer on Poumuli, while
Darren was astounded at the accoutrements being used for the BBQ, as we had
never witnessed a champagne bucket being used to hold the sausages. What on
earth On the Rocks would require a champagne bucket for was never explained and
Lewinsky used his usual 20 minutes to quaff the beer.
The Chefs were saluted and the Hare and the Host, Tallyho
and Lewinsky, joined by BBQ Supervisor Snake. Next week will be at Karaoke and
Eveready as per the blog.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
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