Hash Trash Run 1674 - 20 May

After much confusion as to the exact location, the hashers found the correct turn-off to the host venue.  The locals were probably wondering what on earth was happening with all these lost white people invading their neighbourhood.

The trot finally took off with several following Tallyho’s nose, who was madly trying to sniff out the trail in the botanical gardens at Fuluasou and up the river side of the new EPC switching station.  Another group led by the GM and Flash Gordon was last seen heading down Lepea towards RLS primary school and did not respond to the on back. Snake turned back after feeling sorry for his mom who was brave enough to go it alone, fending off the neighbourhood canine friends. What a son!!! This was after telling Sassy how Lochness Monster was “inebriated” last Saturday at the Wetzell Twin’s birthday. The acting scribe can identify with that. She still hasn’t quite fully recollected how the hell she got home lol.

On the return, everyone got stuck into Godfather’s sweet little nuts and Chef Elle Mc Jnr fired up the bbq. Sassy noted the chicken wings and voiced her concern about all the growth hormones that are usually injected into the chicken wings. POD piped up and offered to eat all of the wings to help her growth in certain areas!

The GM finally called the circle after a number of cold vailimas to calm the fluttering heart rates. 

New Shoes -  those visiting AHHH for the first time included Dale from Auckland, NZ who was brought by Godfather and Laura, beautiful maiden of Scotland who had just arrived in the morning and was now sweating profusely in the humidity of beautiful Samoa. She is visiting her boyfriend, Dan, a medical student.

Retreads included Steakman who is escaping the cold weather in NZ, Lochness  visiting Snake, Stick had no good excuse, Prince who said he was useless which got an overwhelming support call from the circle of “of course we all know that!”, Annabelle had been lazy in Fiji, and Linda also had no excuse. They were made to take a down down!

Darren, in the absence of Ozzie Osbourne was called up for Shoe Inspector duties…he managed to sniff out Steakman’s new shoes and avoided taking a DD himself. Steakman proceeded to unload his shoes of receipts and goodness knows what else he kept in them..no wonder he walks funny. He enthusiastically took both shoes off but was made to drink out of one only. Good try Steakman!

Celebrity Awards:  Snake dobbed Godfather in. Apparently, he had only just arrived in NZ on his last trip and there was GF relaxing at Sinalei on TV. GF insisted on seeing the evidence and Snake promised he will find a TV schedule for him. The GM read out a news clipping titled: Kiribati: first open defecation free island in the Pacific. This brought much laughter and poor Tallyho was called up as he used to live and defecate on Kiribats!  Sassygirl and SOTB were called up for being mentioned on the radio, again, by Corey who was reading out some of SOTB’s facebook posts. SOTB retorted that he will put up a post to Corey to stop reading his status and Nicola told him to stop posting shit on FB.

This Day in History – thanks to Poumuli who always has his priorities right – whilst on overseas duties he never fails to send TDIH! So apparently in 1984 – Constitution Day in Norway was given to Witch Doctor; 1936 – Sada Abe is arrested after wandering the streets of Tokyo for days with her dead lover’s severed genitals in her hand. Her story soon becomes one of Japan’s most notorious scandals.  Transporter was called up for this down down as Lowrider is in Tokyo and has taken his genitals with her! 1944 – Chewbacca actor Peter Mayhew was born – closely living relative Steakman was made to do the down down. 2012-Facebook Inc began selling stock to the public and trading on NASDAQ and who more FB crazy than Sassygirl to do the honors!  International Museum Day was awarded to Stick who is currently studying museums in Samoa.

GM’s Awards – Lewinsky was pulled up for erecting a gallow in front of his home as a way of sending out a strong message to any males who may be having designs on his daughters. He took so long with his DD that even the dog in the circle looked bored.

Telephone interruptus  went to Slippery who was called up by Twin Peaks to find out what he had done with some DVDs that was supposedly  burning for the dance group.  Nicola enquired if these were of the blue type.

Apparently last Saturday, shit-hot Captain Darren from “Naki” by way of Hamilton, saw fit to run his rubber ducky whilst out fishing onto the reef…his response:  “what reef?”

Last Friday nite, the GM and some friends were en-route to pick up another hash mere. A conversation that started off with “something in me eye” rapidly ended up with “something about BJs” So the mile high club in a Terios went to Stilleto and Flash Gordon for inappropriate conversation for poor GM’s ears.

Long Distance DD was for Transporter for failing to answer his phone when poor Lowrider was trying to contact him. According to the GM this was relayed via a skype chat with Lowrider. Flash Gordon wanted to know why the GM is skyping with Transporter’s girlfriend.

Finally the GM had enough of the constant chatter by Nicola so he called her up for the natter and for poking her own ass earlier on in the evening LOL. She responded with “Give it to me” when Lewinsky approached with the nectar and the Rooting hat!

Nominations: Tallyho congratulated Swinger as a FRB for calling out clearly during the run.  He then proceeded to complain about the lack of xs in the fuluasou garden to which Swinger  responded that there was an x, the smallest x ever!

POD nominated Nicola for disrespect of the Hash Shrine! She was overheard asking when Tallyho carried the shrine past her “ does he have to bring that bloody thing everywhere?” and for failing to use POD’s hash name she was given a double down down

Lewinsky was pulled up as well for calling Prince by his real name. DD for the Rooter

Swinger using difficult terms, pointed out the “economical” use of paper to which Dave and Robin replied it was all they were given. Tallyho pointed out the large bag of the stuff so the Batman & Robin were made to pay

Sassygirl dobbed Ally in for failing to be “with it” Kool as the gals when she did not recognise one of the famous sexy tunes “Mr. Lavalover” lol. Ally said she wasn’t born when this came out!

Tallyho pointed out that Hash is not an athletic organisation so was quite concerned about one of the hashers who is training seriously to be a triathlete – Skidmark. Closest working colleague Josh B was made to pay for this.

POD nominated Snake for making her climb all the way up the steps at their house to get her hash cash, only to tell her that he had cash on him. He pointed out that he was having too much fun taking a photo of her when she fell down. What a sad guy!

Sassy nominated Alcatraz for being  a good sport and picking up her future mother in law when she fell on her ass at the Wetzell party. This brought much consternation to the GM and everyone wanted to know if there was something special that they should all know about. According to Elle Mc Jnr, this was the best prank of the nite.

Sassy nominated POD for wanting to eat all the chicken wings as a way to grow her bra size. It was noted by the circle that perhaps Lewinsky should ease up on the wings instead.

Shrine:  Poor Tallyho, who had received several down downs in the meantime proceeded to tell of his 2 handful of rocks which he collected prior to the run given the warning about fierce dogs. He clutched his bag of rocks throughout the whole run and didn’t need to stone any animals along the way. “ Here I am with a shrapnel full of arms…” pissed much??

Lewinsky nominated POD , wonderful wife, who cared for him all the time including keeping the dogs away.. GM noted this unusual sentiment and asked what the two of them have been up to again, in the bushes. We shall know in 9 months!

Elle Mc Jnr was given a down down for the excellent cooking! No burnt offerings when he is  on the job.

Lewinsky divested himself of the Pig Rooting Hat and passed it on to Lochness. He was mumbling something about being impressed with how Lochness carried herself at the Saturday party…then the scribe lost the rest.

Finally the hares and hosts, Shelley, Robin and Dave were given a round of thanks and made to take a Down Down.

ONON