Hash Run 1710

Greetings all Hashers
Monday's run will be hosted by the GM Julia Gillard at the Ford Motor Company in Vaitele. Its easy to find, head out of town towards the airport, and turn left as soon as you pass the Vailima Brewery. Of course after making the appropriate obeisances to this hallowed shrine.
The GM has requested we wear automobile related garb, so bring a Ford cap or something if you have them.
Run will commence at 1800 hours, bring your 20 tala for the keg. The GM will cater the food.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1709

 “I say Jeeves, what time is this that you drag the honoured Master from the sweetest of dreams?”
“I should venture to say Sir, that the sun has just about reached its zenith and is likely to imminently slide down the other side.”
“About Mid-day then?”
“About that Sir.”
“So Jeeves, what’s on the jolly old agenda for the afternoon then?”
“Well Sir, as the Memsahib is away, the day is in fact yours to command Sir.”
“Hmm…a bit of a Facer then, What?”
“Yes Sir, quite so Sir.”
“What about an afternoon at the Hash? A good old frolic in a convenient bush followed by lewd songs and lots of quaffing?”
“Oh no Sir. I think that is not one of your better ideas, it has taken 2 years for the Hash to forget the last unfortunate incident!”
“True Jeeves, very true. However I am a new man now and that dolphin did in fact recover in the end. The Hash it is, I’ve made up my mind!”
“Yes Sir, shall I run your bath Sir, after all we would want to be fresh for the run wouldn’t we Sir.”

 “Are you sure we have the right place Jeeves? Next to the church thingy?”
“Oh yes Sir, the instructions said quite clearly to meet at the house close to the church at 6 pm precisely.”
“Well….there don’t seem to be anyone about except for that queer looking fellow standing under the tree.”
“Allow me, My Lord to question said fellow.” “No Jeeves, I will take care of this”.

“I say Old Chap, tallyho and all that.” “Yes, I am Tallyho.” “No, I meant tallyho and where’s the Hash?”
“Well I am Tallyho, and I am hosting the Hash.”
“I say!! Jolly good show, but it must be awfully confusing for the chaps when you ride to the hounds, old boy.”

“Right Jeeves, did you listen to the run instructions?”
“Yes my Lord.”
“Well off we go then. Keep an eye on that little Australian fellow. That’s a might big camera he’s got. That chap Manwhore looks a bit dodgy as well.”
“Yes Sir, I shall endeavor to keep a mental note of the proceedings. After you Sir…oh….do watch out for the broken pathway!! Don’t worry Sir, I am sure I will be able to get the stains out.”  “I say Jeeves, this bush is a bit overgrown. It definitely needs a bit of a trim. Did you starch my shorts again Jeeves?”

“It’s one of those cross thingy’s again Jeeves.”
“Yes Sir. Might I suggest we take our ease for a moment while we let Messrs. Manwhore, the Danish chap, Swinger, Crime and the Wallah from Australia search out the trail. I think Eveready is some way behind and I fear for any dogs that might be inclined to attack him, as Eveready is ninja trained.
I do have an excellent Chablis in the hamper Sir. I am sure it will very adequately compliment the cucumber sandwiches. And quite frankly Sir, I would rather lighten the load a little.”
“Oh Tush Jeeves! Don’t be such an old woman. Show some spunk for heavens sake! Onward Jeeves.”

“Here we are Jeeves back safe and sound.”
“Errrrrrumph!!”
“Chin up Jeeves, there’s a good fellow. You see, there’s that Norwegian fellow, Poumuli. He looks much worse than you. Mind you, I hear that visiting Mere woman likes a bit of man flesh from time to time, so be on your guard Jeeves.”
“Yessir.”

 Apologies to any PG Woodhouse fans. The GM Julia Gillard welcomed us to Tallyho’s Castle, and started off proceedings by ordering a down down for Weathercock for not obliging us with better weather. He then dispatched Swinger on a shoe inspection, and he thought he had identified some new ones on one of the visitors, Kalara. However this was deemed a failure, and he was joined by Tallyho for bringing her to the Hash with almost new shoes.

The visitors to the Hash were then brought forward, and these were Murray from Oz, brought by Full Moon and someone called Rissole, Alexia ditto, Kalara also ditto. Manwhore thus took the Bad Instruction/Vindictive Guests Award.

The Retreads were numerous this Hash, Gayboy, Tickled, Weathercock, Lowrider, Mona, Ellen, Cockblocker and Transporter. Lame excuses offered all around.

Gayboy was ordered back into the centre, the GM professing no knowledge of how he could be so cruelly named until today. Wearing a skin tight lycra vest and giving a bad impression of Elle McJr’s low hanging shorts, he had moon-cracked the GM throughout the run. Citing rule number 2 of the Hash, Tallyho demanded to know why the GM was visually perusing Gayboy’s crack. No Poofters on the Hash to both of them.

The GM had spent a weekend at Stephenson’s, and had spotted a sign saying fishing prohibited, yet noticed that it had been amended by “Lewinsky needs all the help he can get”. Lewinsky and Rufie shared the award.

At this point the GM finally realized that we were using old pasta sauce jars, and demanded that Transporter produce the Hash Mugs, which of course he couldn’t – thus a Dolmio Award.

Then the GM launched into a soliloquy on the need for Hashers to lend a helping hand, and in this instance that hand was his, having donated paddles to the canoe club, and instead of acknowledging the assist, the photos only noted Transporter who was joined by Tupou for this award.

We then turned to the Celebrity Awards, which went to Poumuli for Offspring (cyclone Ian headline), Sassygirl BJ (photo from the courthouse), Lewinsky for Da Head (head injuries to be looked into headline).

This Day in History Awards went to Full Moon and Crime (1788 – The first elements of the First Fleet carrying 736 convicts from England to Australia arrive at Botany Bay), Captain Mortein (1917 – The United States pays Denmark $25 million for the Virgin Islands), Transporter (1960 – Little Joe 1B, a Mercury spacecraft, lifts off from Wallops Island, Virginia with Miss Sam, a female rhesus monkey on board), Wahoo and Poumuli (1979 – birthday of Aaliyah, American singer, name of their niece), Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: Matt Drudge breaks the story of the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair on his website The Drudge Report), Pirate Princess and Witch Doctor (2012 – A series of coordinated actions take place in protest against SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (Protect IP Act))

Full Moon wanted to give a Feisty Marketing Award to Overstayer for emailing the Queen and Hugh Grant inviting them to Australia Day at Stephenson’s, but she mucked up on the names so she joined Overstayer for this one. Sassy had become irate for Kiwi AKA Tiger Woody not stepping forward for the retreads, while Godfather was overjoyed for the return of Monica (the bugle). When Kiwi first tried to blow Monica no sound came, but after some inspiration from Lewinsky, who was filling the large mug now, Kiwi let out a ripping reveille.

As often happens, Hashers had been out on the weekend, and Transporter had been particularly impressed by the 70’s dance moves of someone called Kev, except that the dance costume had been without his wedding ring. Both Prince and Transporter took Barry White Award.

Poumuli and some other hashers had been at the horse races on Saturday, and not only had Swinger’s mum set up an illegal gambling table, she also financed her own losses by appropriating Godfather’s winnings. This inspired Sassy to get an Inspirational Award to BB who had gotten her malu tattoo done. Cockblocker was made to join for staring at her BBs when handing her the mug. We have also seen that Sassy has been active in the Enough is Enough campaign, and would have been successful in getting Pirate Princess the Husband Beater Award except for forgetting her name.

Upon arrival at Tallyho’s place many had commented on the large amount of cats roaming his deck, thus Poumuli nominated him for the Wall to Wall Pussy Award. Gayboy produced photographic evidence that he doubles as a pornographer by showing a photo of some boys including Granny Smith. Invoking rule 2, the No Poofters at Hash Award went to Transporter for his disturbingly leering tongue.

Witch Doctor nominated Wahoo and the GM for the Loser Award, for wearing a 49ers cap and betting on them respectively. Weathercock noted that this would be Tallyho’s last time to host Hash for a while. He reminisced of meeting him in Port Vila in 1989, wearing the same shorts and haircut. Godfather also commended him for his service to Hash, and asked to verify that Soft Landing’s bra was still in the Hash Shrine. After this was concluded it was agreed that the handover of the Shrine would happen at next week’s run.

Next week will be hosted by the GM at Ford in Vaitele.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

“That Circle was a bit of a corker wouldn’t you say Jeeves?”
“Indubitably Sir. I particularly liked the GM’s joke about the Hamster. Though I fail to see just how it could have been driving at the time.”
“Never mind Jeeves. Shall we repair to one’s own domicile?”
“As you wish Sir.”
“Damned good fun, What?”
“Enormously Sir!!”

Westpac Health Walk this Saturday 25th Jan

Hey there fellow Hashmen & Hashmeri's - this Saturday 25th January, Westpac are conducting a Health Walk commencing at 6.15am from the STA Fale.  So if you're looking for something to do on your way home from OTR,Y-Not or Chickalicious come down and support this great cause.
Contact Granny Smith on 7702 065 for more details
On On
JG

Hash Run 1709

Good afternoon All,

Monday's run will be at Tally Ho's castle in Siusega. He has kindly offered his Castle as our venue for tonight's run. Tallyho has also offered some food for the BBQ, so we must make sure the Hash BBQ arrives - and maybe someone could bring some accompanying dishes.

Tallyho has warned that any Apia Hash member who doesn't wear a Hash shirt or other Hash gear will get a down down from him.

Run will start at 1800 Hrs because of DST. A keg will be there as well as softies. See you all there and please don't forget your hash cash (20 tala) and possibly, a change of clothes.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1708

The Hash was unable to find a host this week, so we were treated as honoured guests (grumpy gits that is) at HQ1 – On the Rocks – by Lewinsky. While the weather had been fine all day, by 5.30 the rain had started up again. Not as bad as last week, but still a dampener. Undeterred the GM anointed Rufie as Hare and off we went.  Rufie took a fair route, up to the hospital, across by the nurses home, over to Cross Island Road. Turning to Vaivase then back down across the non-bridge, past the UN building and on back to OTR. Those who completed the run felt it was a good blast out so well done Rufie. Godfather’s sweet nuts beckoned this time, and he greatly impressed the many visitors with his adept handling of his nuts in terms of extracting their juices. 

As noted, the GM Julia Gillard was back from his sickbed, and with the sharpness of Lazarus opened the proceeding by welcoming the many visitors. These were Maya (med student), Kirstie (med student), Daniel (from Samoana), Hayley (teacher), Danny (from Auckland), Brayden (brought by an Ant), Daniel (med student), Rheanna (studying), Micaela (APS volunteer) and Peter (brought by Manwhore and Full Moon). Overstayer and One Infection got down downs for not teaching their visitors the rules, and this was doubled for OI as he was caught in a false accusation.

Breaking the flow of usual, the GM – probably cognizant that he would  likely receive a few awards and needed to recall his charges – brought Rufie into the circle to explain how on New Year’s Eve he had not only been breaking and entering the GM’s abode, but had also managed to smash one of the GM’s mementos from his kids. The priceless sunglasses were smashed, but Rufie also re-gifted the remaining pair to his own kid. This was clearly a breach of all that is holy in Hash.

Further breaches to Hash etiquette followed with Daniel being caught with his hands in his pockets, so Overstayer was given the Pocket Table Tennis Not Kosher In Circle Award. The GM has been a lonely lad lately, and had been trolling the internet, as had Lewinsky apparently. He had been looking at the meaning of the word nocturnal, at the behest of Happy Feet. When the answer “active only at night” came up, Happy Feet replied, “oh just like Daddy”.

Back in the routine we welcomed back the retreads, who were Full Moon (volunteering), Eveready (someone has to work), Granny Smith and Nell (no excuse) and Flo (too far to commute from NZ).

This Day in History Awards went to Crime as closest living relative to Gayboy (1787 – William Herschel discovers Titania and Oberon, two moons of Uranus much to Gayboy’s delight), Granny Smith (avid photographer, 1839 – The French Academy of Sciences announces the Daguerreotype photography process), Tallyho (1967 – Dr. James Bedford becomes the first person to be cryonically preserved with intent of future resuscitation. – Tallyho is equally well preserved), Sassygirl BJ (1972 – Queen Margrethe II of Denmark ascends the throne, the first Queen of Denmark since 1412 and the first Danish monarch not named Frederick or Christian since 1513 – she is also a monarch with a husband called Christian), Lewinsky (for the Feast of the Ass), and One Infection (Earliest day on which International Fetish Day can fall).

Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli for Weathercock (on tv and radio opining about Cyclone Ian), Daniel (Samoana in the Australian press) and Witch Doctor (call for registering doctors did not include Satanists).

The GM had been sitting at home a bit down, but then a barrage of texts came flooding in asking him to come out on the town. Now there are scant few people that are more Ranga Palagi than the GM, yet the lady in question complimented him on, wait for it, his dancing! Serious Eye Examination Needed Award to Nell.

Sassy then made the announcement on behalf of mismanagement in relation to the Hash contribution to Imelda’s welfare fund, and presented her with a check for WST 2000, and paid homage to Witch Doctor for her sterling work in helping her progress so much. Godfather also paid homage to Sassy and POD for organizing this, showing how Hash is a family and we help each other out, unless we are scheming to dob someone in for a down down.

Lewinsky then introduced his cousin Johnno from Melbourne, who apparently spoke no ingles when questioned as to who brought him to Hash. As Tallyho brought in the Hash Shrine, he lamented that there was so little to see on the run that he had only let it sit out and be refreshed in the rain.

Opening up for nominations, Sassy was quick to remark that when Godfather had greeted Flo he had been staring at her boobs only. While most of the Hash greeted this as Hashmanlike behaviour, the non-plussed GM called a vote on Godfather, which he lost. Hoping For A Soft Landing Award to Godfather. 

Apparently there had been some attempts at underage solicitation on the run, when the GM had offered to walk the last bit with our 17 year old visitor Rheanna. After a bit of arguing he took the Ginger Ninja No Ingles Award. Daniel then produced telephonic evidence  of the first runaway guest of the year from Stephensons which Overstayer and Lewinsky shared.

Sassy had by now cottoned on to the GM’s discombobulating of the sequences of Hash and demanded a down down for not calling for the Shoe Inspector. Rheanna had some sparklingly shiny shoes so she joined the GM in the award. Gosh its hard to skull with Coke.

Apparently this was what the GM needed as he now suddenly recalled that on the run they had passed some chickens, to which One Infection had uttered, “gosh they are cute”. Bestiality Includes Avians Award to OI. Sassy then laid down a challenge of the ages for 3 Hashmen to take on Flo, which Poumuli, Granny Smith and Daniel failed in spectacular fashion – not even close.

Witch Doctor, who harbours secret intents to harm her brother, had noted that the news headline Cyclone Ian pounds Tonga had not been included in the Celebrity Awards. Offspring’s husband is called Ian, and as the annoying little Boer keeps insisting that Poumuli is her “daddy”, a physically, geographically and generally impossible possibility, Poumuli had the Celebrity Father-in-Law Award handed to him. Revenge will be swift.

Granny Smith had been having guests and wanted to show them a night on the town, but by 10.30 they were all piped/pooped out. Hayley, Brayden and Micaela were joined by Granny Smith for taking them to all the wrong places. Nell added to this story, as when the idea was mooted, Crime had leeringly exclaimed of the need to also bring Rheanna. For some reason this made One Infection look like he had swallowed a pound of kipulos.

The GM then exhorted the Hash to come up with volunteers to host. These will be posted, but we will be at Tallyho’s Castle next week, followed by the GM then Eveready. We also have an offer from Samoana, but that will be on the next public holiday (likely Easter in April). Lewinsky also offered Stephenson’s for a public holiday.

Eveready was dobbed in as Hash Monk, and with Witch Doctor as a proxy, henceforth Imelda will be known as Imelda Da Welda.

Next weeks run then is at Tallyho’s – directions will be posted, as will any instructions (come dressed as a Morris Dancer, all have to affect a Home Counties accent, wear Union Jack colours – I don’t know, but we will let you know).

The Host and the Hare, Lewinsky and Rufie were saluted, then we devoured the spread cooked by Elle McJr, which was rather tasty – sorry to those who came after Wahoo in the line!

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Tonight't Run # 1708 - OTR

Hey Everyone,
Due to a lack of available Hare's - Tonight's run will be from OTR commencing at 1800hrs - or 6pm for all you civie pukes!
El Mac JR will be preparing our evening feast - so bring your $15 for the meal and $20 for the nectar of life!!
Sounds like we have got a few visitors in town - so we look forward to seeing you all there
ON ON
JG

Hash Trash 1707

The Hash was hosted at Swinger’s place in Siusega. There had been relentless rain for the last week, so the smattering of sunshine provided a sense of false optimism for the Hashers, many of whom turned up without spare clothes. Because as soon as the pack was out the gate the heavens opened, the clouds burst, and cats, dogs, elephants, Englishmen all came pouring down. It rained so hard that the drops bounced and caught you on the rebound. My shower isn’t as efficient in drenching! Your Scribe is still incapacitated yet in corpus mentis, and was told the trail followed a basic square around the swinging compound in the sports area. After a few minutes we were greeted with a semi-clothed Slippery carrying Princess Tiger back bundled up in his shirt. Luck for her it was not yet sweaty, but somehow this hero award went unnoticed. The pack returned in drips and drabs, dripping and dragging, unfortunately not welcomed by the sweet nuts of Godfather.

As the GM was crook, Tallyho agreed to step in, and he congratulated the pack on not being fair-weather pussies and that he deeply appreciated the wet t-shirt finale. He first called on the failures, or retreads, to come forward. These were Screamer, FBI, David, Captain Mortein, Slippery, joined by Swinger who tried to dob Malvern (he was there last run). New to Apia Hash was Tara, working at Coral Reef Academy, brought by Screamer. Since she had taken instruction so well, the GM tested her downing skills, which were commendable.

Crash Bandicoot chose this time to cum late and was of course recognized, but this time he sipped like a gentleman. In fact it was probably the first time that a single down down took 5 refrains!

This Day in History Awards went to Tallyho for Ladyfinger (1932 – Martial law is declared in Honduras to stop a revolt by banana workers fired by the United Fruit Company. But Tallyho also knows how to revolt), Zsa Zsa (1978 – The Crown of St. Stephen (also known as the Holy Crown of Hungary) is returned to Hungary from the United States, where it was held after World War II), Lewinsky (1999 – The Senate trial in the impeachment of U.S. President Bill Clinton begins), Swinger (National Bird Day) and Hot Nuts (Feast Day of St Gregory).

Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky (nice story of turtle release from resort in Savaii, with quote that the turtles only feel safe at that resort – QED Stephenson’s is not safe for turtles) and Witch Doctor for Ditch (tragic accident involving a ditch).

Turning to the run Hot Nuts was very not inconsiderably incandescent with rage at the mindless laying of the trail by the Hares. Rule of thumb – when it rains, or drenches, do not lay paper in ditches or gutters, as these are there as conduits for the fluids to flow, and to carry forth what lies in their path. This accounted for the four lost hashers. Swinger attempted a defence, but the GM would have nothing of it, and delivered his judgement in the Old Bailey style, that is sober as a judge. Both brothers took the award.

We had also witnessed a most disreputable display of sporting fervour from FBI and Prince at the finish. Prince, who has on several occasions been recognized as such, now wanted a sportsmanship award for FBI. But rather than spend the next 15 minutes listening to the explanation, the GM cut FBI short and they were both handed this award. It was then noticed that FBI had been carrying his son on his shoulders, and after some debate (2 seconds worth) it was deemed that this was the equivalent of wearing an accoutrement, so FBI returned for another.

Captain Mortein was spotted sitting, and his protest was not abrogated due to the availability of massages from Pirate Princess. Lewinsky nominated Crash for the Ditch Work Award, as he had gone to Savaii ostensibly on business, yet had been pictured swimming on the beach, no doubt scaring turtles, and frolicking with sundry scantily clad females. The fact that this was his daughter carried no weight in Tallyho’s court.

Keeping to his legal theme, the GM recalled how a few weeks ago a hasher had his house broken into by a recidivist from the Tafaigata Hotel, and Crime and Prince took this award, joined by Hot Nuts for incessantly gossiping with the new girl. Then, in the Ashes Award, Slippery for the Oz and Tallyho for the Poms.

A Long Distance Award was conveyed by Poumuli from POD for the Man Award, as Lewinsky had been unable to go fishing and had thus bought his first set of tools to help fix things around the house. When quizzed as to what sorts of tools, Lewinsky responded that these were the twisty things, banging things and squeeze things – a true carpenter!

The Mad Monk of the Apia Hash then appeared, and had been doing some research on the interests and predilections of one of our sometimes members. Malvern is fond of planes, wings all things aeronautical, and is also fond of what the Monk referred to as black action – thus he shall henceforth be known as Black Box.

Witch Doctor had made a bet in the car that Lewinsky wouldn’t get a down down, but of course he did, thus she presented him with the lost bet, a Romeo y Julieta cigar. Lewinsky demurred from demonstrating the “humidor” action.

At new year Swinger and others had been in town, and had been invited by Zsa Zsa to an after party at his house, an invite that was quickly countermanded with new instructions to a place up the hill. Well Swinger and others decamped as the bars closed, only to find that there was no one at the newly designated party zone! In addition Screamer was assaulted by dogs (actually that was rather funny under the circumstances) – Zsa Zsa got the Ghost Host Award.

BB nominated Sassygirl BJ for the heroine award, as she had been at Sinalei and had raised the alarm to save some youngsters drowning, even with several cocktails under her belt. She was joined by BB at the behest of Lewinsky for the Aura Award, as he reckons that Swinger only smiles when she is on the island, and she was complaining about sore knees.

Sassy then nominated FBI for the Perfect Father Award, as his son was joining in the circle cheering and laughing. Screamer wanted a Commitment to Hash Award for Poumuli, for coming to Hash the day before knee surgery, which she joined for causing the knee injury in the first place. Wahoo received a Sympathy Award for her husband injuring himself while cavorting.

Astonishing us with her memory, BB nominated FBI for the Numpty Award for locking his keys in the car and getting his wife to come all the way to unlock them. This required a response, and FBI shared the fact that BB is the most famous hasher of us all, having a chain of coffee houses in NZ called BB’s Café.

Tallyho brought forth the Hash Shrine, but reported that no articles could be found on the trail as the Hares had set in such a deluged flood plain. While the Hares took the down down, Black Box added a nice leaf to the Shrine, or rather the Pocahontas feather worn by Princess Tiger, muttering something about shredded condoms. On that note BB nominated Black Box for negating to come to a family picnic and instead cavorting on the beach at Manusina with some meres. This ended up as a group award for BB, Black Box, Screamer and Tara. Lewinsky also woke up now, and nominated Prince for his commitment to Hash, as he was supposed to be at a family reunion right now. Actually this should have been a Didn’t Get Invited Award as he only found out when trying to locate Transporter for the Hash Mugs.

The Hares and the Hosts were saluted before their feast was consumed. Lovely chow and good company – what more does a Hasher need or want?

Watch the blog for next week’s run.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

AHHH Donation Drive for Imelda da Welder !

Dear Hashmen and Hash Meres

You will recall that we started collecting some donations a while back to help one of our own, Imelda da Welder(IW) in her time of need. Your mismanagement would like to let you all know that we will make a presentation to her next week. We note that there were several of you who indicated interest to donate but were advised to hold off until MM had sought some clarification as to where the support could be better placed.

We therefore, kindly encourage you to contact POD, GM Gillard or Sassy with your donation so we can finalise our AHHH assistance to IW. We also hope that you will all join us next week where-ever the hash will be for this occasion.

We take this opportunity to highly commend our Witchdoctor in her undying commitment, love and support in the care of IW.

Any donations welcome!!

ON ON

Mismanagement

RUN 1707 - hosted by Swinger, BB & Malvern at Siusega

Happy New Year to all the wonderful hashmen and hash meres!!!

Well here goes another exciting year of hashing and good friendship!

Monday's Run will be hosted by Swinger, BB & Malvern at Swinger and BB's digs at Siusega across the road from the English Cricket pitch.

Ignore SOTB's number of the map and call GM Julia Gillard on 7701587 or Swinger on 7770787

Bring change - it could be a wet one!

ON ON

Hash Trash 1706

The Hash was hosted at On the Rocks. Crime had set a run, which was undoubtedly sweaty, as all the runners were coveting Godfather’s sweet nuts upon their return. It was remarked upon that these appear to be growing in size as well as sweetness, so something must be going on. Your Scribe was yet again unable to run, but instead reflected on how at this time a year our numbers get to the Good the Bad and the Ugly stage, or perhaps the few, the brave the moronic. In any event we had a moderate turnout as some more latecummers came in late. Julia Gillard was back in action as GM.

First off we had a number of visitors from Shanghai, namely Hornblower, Mouthpiece, Wanking with Wolves and Deep Throat. They showed real hashing spirit and took their down downs with relish. Then our other visitors Tok Tok and Rock Chick brought by Godfather, and Pete brought by Bwyan. The GM decreed that while he would take his award, Pete should get a double as the rules had been explained, and that this was a stick up.

Turning to the GM’s awards, first off there was Rufie who had been acting up to his name and had been comatose. Why One Infection was involved will never be known. Celebrity Awards went to Elle McJr as CLR for Uncle Fred and Poumuli for Ditch – both were in the paper. This Day in History Awards went to Rufie (1845 – ether is first used as anaesthetic), Manwhore (1948 – musical Kiss Me Kate is first put on for a record 1077 performances), Wanking with Wolves (1997 – Hong Kong starts killing off chickens in bird flu scare) and Sassygirl Bj (2011 – Samoa changes dateline). There was also no Lewinsky related history so Overstayer took one for him.

Opening up for nominations, Elle McJr nominated Crime for, er, committing a crime, kicked the shit out of a trouble maker in town. Then there was a No Explanation Award for the GM apparently smuggling caviar? 

A shoe inspection was called for by Overstayer, finding that Crime was wearing new boots, but he opted for a double instead of the traditional fashion. Sassy gave Godfather the Man of the Year Award for leaving his family to go dancing with the Carmelite nuns!

Rufie gave Lewinsky a down down for claiming to be working, yet were was he. POD stepped in at the last moment. Manwhore then launched a withering assault on the overstaying Overstayer who apparently had “been leaving shit everywhere”. Crime was given a follow up down down for being a person of interest for the cops.

The circle was closed then re-opened with Rufie calling out the cardinal rule of no spewing in the circle. This also allowed Poumuli to give Sassy a can of Sass beer from Korea as another sign of her perpetual advertising campaigns.

Check the blog for next week’s run

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit