Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Hash Trash 1710

The Hash was hosted by the GM Julia Gillard at the Ford Company in Vaitele. Your Scribe was told that the run went around the back roads of Vaitele, basically a square around. It was suitably long and sweaty judging by the state of the returning runners.
Calling the circle to order, the GM welcomed those new to Hash, namely Tixus from Hong Kong brought by the “lady” from Aqua Samoa, Mark from NZ who lived in Samoa as a 10 yr old – he had been brought by Godfather. The GM decided to test their mettle with a down down. The retreads were ACDC, Ozzie Osbourne, Ditch, Seismic, Offspring. Tallyho was requested to do the shoe inspection, and failed. 

The GM was rather perturbed that he had no bad stories to tell, but had been informed that One Infection had been trying to reach Lewinsky, and after 15-30 rings he had finally answered, and had been asleep at 3 PM apparently. When it was revealed that he had take the call in the car, Tallyho ventured in for a dangerous driving offense. But Lewinsky has something called Bluetooth, and thus the bewildered Tallyho joined in a rather tumultuous down down, which included Rufie for use of real names and Cockblocker for being a dick. Mind you, we were inside the Ford showroom and the acoustics were not the best.

Turning back to Lewinsky, the GM had received confirmation from 5 independent sources that Lewinsky had invited them to OTR for  a free shout at 4 PM, but as none were free to leave work, yet turned up, he pocketed the change for their additional spending. Apparently he bought one round and buggered off. POD noted that he needed his sleep!

Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky (Mr Toilet comes to Samoa), CB (pay peanuts get monkeys), Sassy (mediator story) and Gayboy (desexing of puppies).

This Day in History Awards went to Poumuli (41 – Roman Emperor Caligula, known for his eccentricity and cruel despotism, is assassinated by his disgruntled Praetorian Guards. The Guard then proclaims Caligula's uncle Claudius as Emperor – none of the Hashers understood this one, aimed at GM), Poumuli (1393 – King Charles VI of France is nearly killed when several dancers' costumes catch fire during a masquerade ball – he recently had a dance related mishap), Ozzie (1788 – The British First Fleet, led by Arthur Phillip, sails into Port Jackson (Sydney Harbour) to establish Sydney, the first permanent European settlement on the continent. Commemorated as Australia Day), GM (1920 – Former Ford Motor Company executive Henry Leland launches the Lincoln Motor Company which he later sold to his former employer), Gayboy (1986 – Voyager 2 passes within 81,500 kilometres (50,600 mi) of Uranus, taking pictures of its rings – much to Gayboy’s delight) and Lewinsky (1998 – On American television, U.S. President Bill Clinton denies having had "sexual relations" with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky).

Tallyho then brought forth the Hash Shrine, and he had discovered a clothes peg on the run, and since the run had passed so many rubbish tips and dumps it was a most suited commemoration for the run. He had to explain how one would use a clothes peg to calm one’s nose as this was a new concept for the great unwashed. After adding this to the Shrine, Witch Doctor presented us with the new Shrine that she had made, albeit interrupted by Godfather’s rampant excitement for one more look at Soft Landing’s balcon supreme. Tallyho nominated Eveready as the new Shrine Master, and he accepted after a vote but declared that certain items would not be placed under his pillow.

Poumuli offered an advertising award for Offspring for finding the CD of The Offspring, while Rufie noted that he had been offered a Ford brochure upon entering the premises. After the GM and the boer took theirs, Sassy pointed out that sunglasses had been worn, so back in the circle for Offspring.
Sassy wanted to complain about the AC in the showroom, calling the GM a tightass for only allowing one to be running. The GM’s attempt at levity asking whether hot flushes were a sign of menopause went down like a pork chop in a synagogue so in he went.

POD congratulated ACDC on his engagement, but after some discussion on how many times this was, had it doubled just to be on the safe side. Eveready claims to still have a previous engagement cake in the fridge! Lewinsky gave a congratulatory award to Tallyho for shouting the extra 30 keg, as if we needed it!

Witch Doctor had been reading the blog and thought that no one else had, as the GM’s invitation to wear auto related gear had failed, but a few could be found in the circle, namely One Infection, Wahoo, ACDC, Prince and the GM

A rather complicated award was offered by Sassy relating first to congratulating two Hash meres for their fabulous run, but somehow involved them complaining about pains in their ovaries. POD and Blowfish were somehow at the centre of this, while IRA was also falsely accused. She tried the menopause excuse again but it failed.

CB had been late for the run as per usual, and had been taking a wrong turn up a hill when he spotted Tallyho with a bunch of girls following. When Godfather pointed out that he too had been following Tallyho, this quickly petered out into a Do Not Cross Godfather Award.

Since this is a family Hash the next award has been censored. Transporter had been out on the town with mates, and had been waiting for One Infection to have his Jeckyl and Hyde moment on the dance floor. Suffice it to say that a double was awarded for his display of large, er, muscles.

Sassy then gave Dan a Hashmanlike Behaviour Award for turning up pissed to the Hash. Witch Doctor had a further presentation to make in the form of a mini-Shrine that she had welded for Tallyho, and which included in it the pebble that felled Poumuli, the tail of the pussy, a Vailima cap, Gayboy’s Observer clipping, a jandal and 20 tala hash cash from the GM. This was followed by a rousing Hash Anthem rendition.

CB had finally located the Rooter Award, which went to One Infection or One Direction as CB put it
It was intimated that the next run would be in conjunction with the Super Bowl Party at OTR, but that is a moot point right now.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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