Thursday, November 24, 2016

Hash Trash 1856

Twas a warm and balmy night as the hashers made their way up to El Capo and Angry Birds mansion near the top of the hill.  It was a clear night, so the view from the deck was clear and many had fun pointing out (arguing) about different sites in Apia….  Panic almost struck --- it was 6pm and THERE WAS NO BEER….. thankfully – due to Lewinsky and Nom Nom showing the way, the Vailima made  home safe….
There were quite a number of re-treads this week…. Including a return from the short short wearing kiwi himself – HOT NUTS! (who wears short shorts ---- Hotnuts wears short shorts!). Others included Slim Shady who had been bula’ing it up in Fiji, Pavarotti who was a Hasher between 04-07 and was very excited to be back.  DMT and her Mum came along as well as Nelson who had apparently been ‘off massaging’ – who we would like to know.  Prince scored himself a down down for someone not using his correct name.
Newbies for the evening included Meg’s best best best friend in the whole world (The guy at Karaoke couldn’t say Dian’s name), Cunning’s friend and also a new playmate, err.. sorry! Housemate for Nom Nom’s   big yellow house – Mark.
Shoe inspector Malu, did a tremendous job, and quickly found Witch Doctor to be in ownership of some brand new (lovely) shoes.
Only two celebs this week – Slim Shady for being in the paper – Don’t forget the ‘Orange fun run’ on Friday at 6.30 outside the STA Fale.  Rachel was on the front page of the observer this week, but as she was not there, her bumchum Prue, took the down down.
There was a ‘sneaky snake’ award given to Godfather this evening,  fas he tried to dodge a down down.
This Day in History had some unreadable explanations and also some unfamiliar words, however:
in 1636 – something something something….unreadable – Cunning Linguist
1863 – German/Danish war – As Captain Mortein was not there, CB took the down down for his surname…
1965 – Prince something of Norway – Witch doctor
1977 – NZ was to include ‘God Defend New Zealand’ as well as something else – Hot Nuts.
1998 – Lewinsky scandal hit the courts – Lewinsky
Feast Day of St Gregs – Snake
International Student day – Mark
World Toilet Day – Nelson
Transgender day – Kiran for looking the best in his ie faitaga (Too flash for hash)
Exemption for punishment – Crime

GM awards were fast and furious tonight, and began with the GM expressing her shock and concern that Ring Ring had accidently struck fear into her families hearts because she did not tell anyone she was going to Pago. It wasn’t until a few days later when Ring Ring had been MIA for two days and her son had posted a status of Facebook asking if anyone had seen his Mum, that one of her sons friend said ‘Don’t worry bro, I saw her at the airport going to Pago!’.  The next award was to Meg, who’s friend Dian had given her a tour guide rating of 4 out of 5. Dian too was given a down down for being ungreatful as who doesn’t want to spend their afternoon whilst on holiday making garlic bread for hungry hungry hashers?.  Hotnuts was in the firing line next – and although initially was given a down down for purchasing a new home gym which takes up a lot of space – that he never uses because he’d rather go to the gym and watch all the ‘hot girls’. It was at this point that Hot nuts and Snake were caught ‘discussing hot girls’ mid circle – and both earned a down down for being dirty old me – (typical hash men?).  Meg was nominated again for admitting that she has bad thoughts 27/7 or bad ideas, but when she’s asked about them for down down purposes  fails to remember.  Speaking of failing to rememeber, Kiran too got lumped with a down down for not being able to remember the reasons or amount of down downs the previous week.
The floor was then opened for group nominations.
Pusiapa tried to nail Snake for failure to give good directions, and sending the walkers through dense grassy bushland,  even though he promised her, Malu and Black Swan that the route they’d take was safe.  Pusiapa scored the down down for failure to navigate through bush and Snake too took one for mis-direction. 
Black Pussy was heard to be complaining quite loudly about her name – instant down down.
Pusiapa having missed the previous run, decided to pull out the big guns on her perimeter team, especially El Capo and Kiran for drinking all the ‘team beer’ and an extra one for Kiran for ‘hair pulling’.
CB was nominated for complete mismanagement, where he was found out to have taken women to the beach but neglected to pack any food or drink and was close to running out of fuel –  He was forced to call Swinger for  SOS HELP!
Prue was up next, being nominated for her squeaky ‘OnOn!’ when she saw the paper and was trying to relay the ‘on on’ message to those behind her.  Pavarotti and El Capo had quite the conversation before the run had started, but it took both of them at least 10 minutes to wonder why they were both speaking in English, when both CLEARLY Italian.  Screamer got the hero award , because she has been spotted walking from her house near Scalinis all they way up to Mt Vaea and back down again. Pavarotti gave himself a down down, and said it was for pure gratitude of being back with the Apia Hash aiga. At Godfathers request, he also gave us a demonstration of why he was called Pavarotti and sang part of a beautiful aria – Magnifio, Pavarotti! As previously mentioned, Hotnuts had returnth..with his short shorts in toe… which means – INSTANT DOWN DOWN!

The final nomination was for our beloved GM – POD! For her outstanding organisational skills and speech at the Goshen Trust cheque hand over. Malo to all the Hashers who collected, donated, walked, ran, supported during the Perimeter Relay!
Before the circle closed, it was a final down down for our hosts and hares -  El Capo, Kiran, Meg and Dian.


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