Friday, June 18, 2010

Hash Trash 1522

Run #1522, dubbed the “Manu Samoa Special”, was hosted by Snake and Fang at the Snake Pit in town. The trail itself was another Ring Ring special.

The long weekend laziness appeared to have set in as Hashers wandered onto the main road and headed for the hills at snail’s pace. They eventually gained momentum as the trail was sniffed out and the pack turned left at the Ah Liki complex whereupon the usual chain of events ensued. Cock Blocker and Pussy Snatcher took off wildly down the road, not stopping to look for markers. A few others followed unsuspectingly. They were eventually called back as some of the more astute picked up the trail, which led down a small side street and back up towards Palisi. At this point, there was some concern about the steep uphill climb but most managed this without too much complaint. The rest of the run was largely uneventful for the followers (your co-scribe being one of these). The lead team followed a few false trails but found their way back fast enough to still stay ahead of the followers. The trail led back onto the main (Airport) road, past the market and Bluebird Hardware and then on home. The excessive stretching that ensued suggests that it was a good run for even the fittest.

The Hash Circle was called to order by GM Ever-ready, who opened proceedings with a toast to the Manu Samoa, followed by a second toast to the SegaVau Fautasi team that had recently emerged victorious over the “Eastern Block”.

Pro Boner, Black Adder, Renee(#1), Lewinsky, Aina and Cherelle drank for not wearing blue in honour of the various Samoa victories of late.

A throng of visitors was introduced: Sanna and Brandon (who had come with Aina), Steve, Ellen and Peter (Spanky’s family), Chris (Spanky) and Renee #1. Renee said she had come with someone called Schanelle and there were riotous calls for a CB down-down but GM ruled that Renee#1 had indeed been well-schooled on the correct name of her host so she ended up with a double.

Rethreads were Blow Me and Dizzy, both apparently on recent reconnaissance visits of Hash meets in other countries. Blow Me however, was unable to sate GM’s curiosity regarding the attire of Rarotonga Hash Marys.

Black Adder was sporting new shoes and he proceeded, with absolutely no prodding, to drink with aplomb out of one of these. Not a drop spilled. “Inspirational!” yelled the rather impressed Hashers.

GM then cited Lilly for overly enthusiastic shaking of something during the Hash song and SOTB for confused messaging on the Hash blog regarding whether or not this was a BYO hash.

Screamer was cited for incompetence for failing to deliver the Hash trash on time and then apparently having the gall to ask SOTB whether he had managed to upload it. She attempted some explanation but this of course, was ignored.

Fang had an anti-environment award via CB, who was indignant on behalf of the whales about the use of foam cups despite several earlier attempts to stop this.

Titty Galore was nominated for failing to take advantage of the hard work of the Hare and for consistently turning up to Hash after the run. It appears she was handed a double.

A lengthy discussion regarding half priced Crown beer resulted in both Lewinsky and CB being awarded for trying to flog expired beer to the community. CB’s alibi that he had been in Savaii when the offending activity took place was dismissed as “details” by GM, who, it seems, was sticking to his earlier promise to run a “tight ship”.

Sassy Girl BJ had been a naughty girl for heading to Sinalei for lunch at 10am, not returning till midnight and not calling home. Godfather was also cited for leading her astray.

Spanky had to take one for the family as her mum (Ellen) was caught not wearing the requisite blue.

All the Hash paddlers for Nafanua were awarded for coming 2nd in some paddling race earlier last week.

Screamer and Black Adder attempted to nominate TG for claiming to be “special” (TG’s explanation for why she gets away with never having to run) but they were yelled down for repetition by (strangely enough) SOTB and CB. In a none-too-surprising turn of events, Screamer and Black Adder joined TG in the circle.

Captain Mortein launched into a description of some rapid hand actions by a young man loitering by SGBJ’s office but failed to clearly explain what this was about. SGBJ came to his rescue providing the correct medical term for this activity. Both drank.

Lewinsky noted that Crash had yet again failed to bring back the missing Hash mugs and, in Crash’s absence, nominated Karaoke as his closest living relative. Karaoke returned this accusation with a “he’s not my relative” but stated that clearly Lewinsky was. Both drank.

GM, who was obviously getting thirsty, called someone “Ros” and had to take a quick slip-up quench.

Psychodelic noted that a bunch of Hashers had turned up at the races last Tuesday to support a fellow Hasher’s horse, only to have to bear witness to the poor animal coming second to last. CB added to this, claiming that it was the only situation where the jockey was bigger than the horse. Although it turned out this was an Annandale family horse, thus implicating both Godfather and Swinger, Swinger, did the respectful thing and took one for the family.

A birthday award was doled out to Aina, who drank poised on one leg. “Inspirational!” yelled a twice-impressed crowd.

Swinger received the chauffeur award for having complained about constantly having to drive his Hash Mary to the airport.

Awards were handed out to Casey, Captain Mortein, Pirate Princess, Rachel and Lilly for participating in the 10km run on Saturday.

Lewinsky received another award for extra effort – having finished the entire run without short-cutting or catching a cab. He attempted to refute this, claiming he had actually, in fact, short-cutted with GF but this didn’t carry.

Dizzy was nominated for continuing to insure and thus support the rebuilding of the disastrous government slipway (better known as ‘spillway’) at Aleipata.

Peter and Sanna took tipping awards – Peter for gullibility and Sanna for cashing in on it.

Renee, Ellen and Steve were all leaving the next day and were appropriately farewelled.

Cherelle nominated CB for the Gigolo award (although less kind phrases were heard being muttered around the circle) for managing to tag team visits from two Renee’s over the course of a 12-day period. Whether CB has learnt anything from this episode remains to be seen.

Savaii-based PCV’s, Lilly and Rachel were awarded for failing to return home on time to start school the next day. Co-scribe observes that by this stage, GM was fast losing control of his ship – and the keg was showing signs of floatation. Pirate Princess managed an additional nomination for the PCVs, citing them as best dressed on the 10km run. Chris, who had made the uniforms, also participated in this almost-final award.

RingRing (the Hare), Fang and friend (Hosts) took their awards and the pack then fell in a frenzy upon the food before gathering again in a slightly smaller circle to join Godfather with some post-Hash crooning and dancing.

The next Hash will be held at Screamer’s in Siusega. This will be a partial BYO – Hashers who can might want to contribute a salad or some bbq fodder. Screamer assures us the pool will be clean and there should be at least a couple of sausages to go around.

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