The Hash had to relocate from Malololelei due to the weather, as it was raining sideways and there was no way that the trail could be secured. Lewinsky stepped up again and offered On The Rocks as an alternative. The aftermath of Cyclone Wilma was very much in effect, and it was decided to do a live hare with Cockblocker, but to also try and keep the pack together for safety given the waves. The run progressed along the seawall, past the RSA and the fish market and out to Sogi where we turned back, several pounds heavier due to the incessant rain. Back at HQ1, Godfather had provided his sweet nuts and a grand selection of roast pork and umu for our pupus. Bless him for his generosity, this provided good sustenance to those of us who braved the weather and ran.
Princess of Darkness was present as GM, and called the circle to order. There was only one new to Apia Hash – John from Hawaii who was visiting Swinger. The rethreads were Crown of Thorns (overseas based now), Vulture (back for a few weeks, came prepared with a snorkel), Dawn Raid (hiding), and Do Me Twice (back from Christmas break). Swinger protested that there were more rethreads, and closely avoided a Not Listening To The GM Award. The GM noted that because of the sewage in the rainwater we should probably dispense with that item for now. Getting to her list of awards, a Parking Misdemeanour Award was given to Titty Galore, CB and Pro Bona for some terrible reverse parking and exclaiming “if you sit on my thing you won’t see the angle”. Wane joined them for driving into something. DMT was given the Stripper Award for wearing a very white t-shirt in the rain.
Further news had reached the GM of an unannounced bbq on Saturday, but sans bbq, so the guests had to entertain and feed the other guests. COT and CB had to cook, so Zsa Zsa and Chilindrina took the Poor Hosts Award. Poumuli tried and failed to get CB to join, as he had happened on the event and was ordered to change his shirt by Wahoo due to the stink of CB’s cooking. At this point there was too much chattering, so the GM called a vote for awarding the Dome of Silence to Vulture or Ophelie, which ended up being decided in chug. Vulture won, thus giving Ophelie the Dome of Silence for the rest of the circle, but was given an UnHashmanlike Behaviour Award for ungallantly racing the lady Ophelie. (this one is ethically challenging)
Celebrity Awards went to Snatch (Mum in the paper) and a double to Poumuli (TV3 and Observer). The GM then turned her attention to our new Super-Heroes, the two rescuers in the new VERTS, who both turned up wearing their silly yellow jackets. She made them look more like superheroes by having them wear underwear (ladies’) on the outside of their shorts and gave both SOTB and CB a down down. Opening up for nominations from the floor, SOTB said he had witnessed a near death experience, with a man nearly killed by the falling down of the HQ1 sign. Lewinsky began to quibble about witnesses, and since one could be produced, it became a double Lethal Weapon (Unloaded) Award. We then welcomed latecummer Kiss My Butt.
Dawn Raid sought to get Poumuli an award for losing his new hubcaps, but since Dawn Raid had been outside HQ1 during the theft and not seen it, the GM agreed to reverse the award. A leavers award was suggested by Godfather for Claire and Eileen. Before that, Eileen ventured deep into FBI territory with an award for Brazilian and Godfather. Apparently they both believe that Louis Armstrong sang “and dogs say goodnight” in “What a wonderful world”. In the end all four took the award. Zsa Zsa recounted how it was so wet during the run, and that Swinger had disappeared from the run with two ladies, in order to take, erm, pictures. Wannabe Pornographer Award to Swinger. This prompted SOTB to nominate Poumuli for a Wannabe Award (All Blacks) for wearing a NZ rugby-shirt (its almost an antique, and SOTB wears a Ireland shirt at times – deeply unfair). SOTB also insisted that DMT do the New Shoes Award, as she hadn’t run.
Ophelie piped up that she had an award for KMB, but was stopped short as she was supposed to be wearing the Dome of Silence. She was joined in the award by Carin, because Poumuli suddenly remembered that January 24th 41 AD was when the Romans killed Caligula, and called for a Caligula Removal Appreciation Award. Snatch, in a pique of annoyance, got an award for Vulture for asking if Greenie was her Father. COT had a story of getting drinks in a “fine” establishment, and a certain Hasher bought an ula for his wife and “leid” her from behind. While COT by rights should have joined Lewinsky for calling HQ1 “fine”, the gentleman took it well.
The GM closed the circle with a Culinary Appreciation Award to Godfather, and the traditional salute to the host and hare, Lewinsky and CB.
Next week’s hash, weather permitting, will be at Malololelei, and the week after at Taumeasina. Watch the blog for late changes in case the weather turns crappy.
Poumuli, IKA Slit