The Hash was hosted by Strangler, Wax and Hornithologist at Tafatafa Beach. Since it was Mother’s Day we had been asked (the males) to dress like fa’afafines, while the Hash Meres were all bedecked with moustaches. Lovely warm day out at the beach, but instead of a run, the hosts had organized a bit of fun and games eventually culminating in the production of four bowls of coleslaw. Good fun was had by all, and your Scribe forgets which team won, but somehow thinks it was his team. The photos will show all the silliness when I get around to posting them!
Tallyho was dobbed in as GM for the day, as our GM SOTB was uncontrollably and sobbingly hung-over. He called forth those new to Apia Hash, and they were Ches (DMT’s mum), Two Story (DMT’s Dad, more on that later) and Lance from Whangerei (brought by Mike and Rene). The rethreads (or failures in Tallyho parlance) were Slim Shady, Sassygirl BJ, SOTB, Dried Nuts, Long Dong and Nao. They were all suitably awarded.
As no one was really wearing shoes, the GM decided to have a painted toenails assessment. He decided that DMT’s matching orange toes and dress warranted an award, Slim Shady for having photographs on her toes (?), Pam who had just completed painting hers, and Long Dong for having such pale feet they blinded the GM.
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli and Wahoo (TV3), and Snatch (double appearance in Observer). For this Day in History Award, your Scribe had found a fabulous one for Swinger but the bastard was absent. It wasn’t completely wasted as we found someone with Scottish heritage to take it – Steakman, Ladyfinger and Dried Nuts (Mary Queen of Scots has to marry Earl James, one month later is defeated in battle and one month later has to abdicate for her 1 year old son James – The Curse of Swinger-namesakes!). Sassy, Joanna and Zsa Zsa took the honours for Europe Day.
The GM then falsely accused several Hashers of having enjoyed dressing like fa’afafines too much, and called forth Zsa Zsa, Cockblocker, Nimura, Ninja and Poumuli for the Dame Edna Award. Opening up for nominations, Wahoo nominated Ninja and Mrs Ninja for leaving their baby all alone in the fale. Funny that Mrs Ninja handled the beer rather niftily. Schumacher nominated Captain Mortein for the Crisis Moment Award, as he had been observed washing his foot with beer! This sacrilege resulted in a large one and an even grumpier Captain, and he was joined by Pirate Princess for unknown reasons.
Sassy nominated Princess of Darkness for not washing the hash mugs, as they were covered with moldy stuff. The GM exclaimed that hash mugs are NEVER supposed to be washed, and that at his age he welcomes growth of any kind! Inexplicably POD managed to get out of this one because Steakman was being lippy with the GM.
Snatch nominated Two Story for Pre-empting the Hash Monk, as he hadn’t actually been named yet, and he just made it up. He started the award before the song started, so he was joined by DMT for not knowing the rules and she not telling him, but she was way quicker, which may have something to do with gravity.
Sassy nominated Horny Ho and Alfred for being late with the BBQ, and Alfred’s was doubled as he hadn’t recognized your Scribe in disguise and was quite shall we say attentive at first. Slim Shady recounted how a heckler had disturbed Zsa Zsa’s saxophone performance at Millennia, saying it was crap. This lengthy FBI-style explanation posed a dilemma for the GM, as he was assured that verily Zsa Zsa on the saxophone is indeed crap (remember the awful attempts to accompany Godfather’s ukulele during Hash 1466. Well I do!). In the end both took the Combined Award.
The hosts were saluted and congratulated for the inventiveness.
SOTB, by now suitably lubricated to get his voice back, managed to get the GM an award for chickening out of the Rethreads Awards. Finally we get some use out of the lugubrious one.
Next week’s run is supposed to be hosted by Captain Mortein and Pirate Princess, but they were making moves to chicken out, so watch the blog.
Poumuli, IKA Slit