The Hash was hosted by Greeny out in Siusega. It had been raining in the afternoon so it was a relatively cool run, made more so by the late start given the piss-poor directions posted by SOTB, who could not be reached as he was out fishing. Anyway, it was a grand day for a trot, and we set out expectantly from the gate, having been informed that the trail was set on paper. That’s it for the run report. A group of front runners found the initial three false trails out the gate, one towards Tafaigata, one down the road to the left that goes to Screamer’s back yard, and one that led straight up into the bush. We went back and forth for a while, until some of us decided to take a trot up the bush again, hoping to find the trail, didn’t and instead found a nice parallel route to the Tafaigata road, down to the main road and back. No clue where the trail was really set, but a nice sweat out. I had to promise not to whinge too much this week.
Said GM SOTB being fishing, Princess of Darkness stepped in. She called forth those new to Apia Hash and boy there were a lot of them. There was Pussyindah and Susumarah from an Indonesian Hash who are joining us for a few months. There was Dave the neighbour who had taken delivery of the keg thinking his landlord was overly generous, but had joined the run instead. Pam from Samoa, Jo, Filipo, Richard, Howie, Anthony and Kili, all invited by Godfather (although Filipo messed it up, giving Godfather the first of many awards). Finally we had Steakman from Auckland. The Rethreads were Vulture, Jade, Tooth Fairy, and Lady Finger. Vulture doubled his for wearing a Tongan sombrero in the circle.
There were no new shoes found by Volunteer Shoe Inspector Vai Vai, so he took that award. Then the GM called forth the Hare, getting this out of the way immediately amidst calls of Worst Ever, Greeny took a large one.
The GM awarded a Pussysnatcher Lack of Rhythm Award to the Atherton brothers, Swinger and Malvern for their incredible disconnectedness between the music that was playing at the 70’s Party and the associated movements required.
This Day in History went to Swinger for the publication of the King James Bible (2 May 1611) and for the Feast Day of St James the Less (Greeny had complained of not enough paper being provided to him by Swinger). In honour of Lei Day (Hawaii) to Screamer for her intention to get leid in Hawaii soon. Poumuli for Marshall Islands Constitution Day and Nimura for Japan Constitution Memorial Day.
There had been another Day in History award reserved for Bunga Bunga, but in her absence the GM called forth Do Me Twice for looking like a hooker at the 70’s Party and Cockblocker for saying she looked good. Poumuli tried to get Vai Vai for wearing the same shirt he wore in the 70’s to the 70’s Party, but this backfired miserably, as the assembled lot had disconnected their brains sense of humour synapses with Vailima.
Greeny then tried to get an award for the entire Hash for not finding the trail. No need to explain how that one ended. The GM nominated Steakman for the Customs Violation Award for bringing in sausages from NZ.
Screamer received a Blonde (non) Award for being unable to count – she said she had no gossip since its only been 4 days since last Hash. She was so blonde she needed help from Malvern. (She should have had it doubled for her musings on the Hash Chat!)
CB nominated Swinger for the Team Player Award, having tried to organize a paddling team only to send his brother in his place, and unfortunately the brewing gas explosion in the BBQ didn’t happen quickly enough to also set his backside on fire. Steakman was spotted holding up the building, and the rules tirade from the GM reduced him to a Gollum-like state, and this impersonation and the harassing gave him a double.
Godfather announced that the last Hash at Sinalei had raised $1750 for the Christchurch Appeal, and that this would be earmarked for Maori and Pacific Islanders in particular need in that region. He invited further donation and is planning to ask the Prime Minister to hand over the funds.
Eveready observed that today was The Rock’s birthday, and since Godfather had the same hairdo and CB the same body (he needs glasses), he called for their joint Rock Award (which reminds me we forgot to demand the Elvis impersonation!). They were joined by leaving Hasher Malvern, going back to the US.
We then had a request by Steakman for Howie to do Pearly Shells, which he only knew part of, but was helped by Godfather. Then there were two lengthy jokes from Greeny and Filipo, the latter of which was memorable because it had a wet pussy as a punchline.
The Host and Hare, Greeny, was saluted and we descended on what was mostly a sausage fest, except some chicken and a delicious lamb stew from Poumuli.
Next week will be hosted by Wax, Strangler and Hornithologist on the South Side of the island – watch the blog.
Poumuli, IKA Slit