8th Aug Trot - Snakepit - Hash Run 1841

Hello merry Hashers

Today's run will be from the Snakepit in Apia. Run starts at 5.30pm. Bring your hash cash and let's check out the smell around the snakepit turf :)

For those not familiar, the Snakepit is close to the McDonalds in town. From the clock tower, go past McDonalds and the traffic light, and there is a lane on the left about 100 metres down the road. The Snakepit is at the end of the lane.

ON ON

SassygirlBJ

Hash Run 1839

Talofa Hashers
Monday's run will be hosted by Nafanua at the Oceans Club HQ. Details to follow

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1838

The Hash was hosted by Transporter at Seyleck Motors in Vaitele, although it seems largely to have been taken over by one of Chicken Shit’s operations. Still a bit of a vehicle morgue, but we couldn’t complain due to his last minute generosity. The run had been set by Crime, and largely followed a huge square around the Vaitele area, with a bit of in and out for obvious false trails. Your Scribe had to duck out due to hip pains, so that is all that can be reported. Godfather’s sweet nuts were ever-welcomed.

POD as GM called the circle to order. There were no newbies to Hash, but Poumuli got it wrong and accused Sean – first down. The retreads were Sean, Sassygirl BJ, Meg, Chicken Shit, with Strap On joining for a false accusation and David for cellphonus interruptus. Black Swan was appointed Shoe Inspector but failed.

Celebrity Awards were given to Godfather (in the paper), David (no Hasher appeared in the coverage of the US 4^th July event), Chicken Shit (in the paper) and Eveready (Karaoke and his brother were in the paper).

This Day in History Awards went to Lewinsky (1910 – In his book Clinical Psychiatry, Emil Kraepelin gives a name to Alzheimer's disease, naming it after his best mate and colleague Alois Alzheimer), Gayboy (1938 – Douglas Corrigan takes off from Brooklyn to fly the "wrong way" to Ireland and becomes known as "Wrong Way" Corrigan), Eveready for Crash Bandicoot (Feast Day of St Francis) and Godfather for International Firgun Day (to make someone feel good about accomplishments).

Turning to the GM’s awards, first up was Wahoo for her fashion show performance, including the near topless starting lineup. Godfather said he was proud of her!

The GM turned to Transporter and pithily enquired if he had forgotten Hash Rules while absent so long, no he hadn’t, so how come you are leaning? Down down. She then congratulated the Oz Hashers for finally getting a PM – Black Swan, Meg, Nettie – and added in a respectable measure for the horrible 60 Minutes coverage of Samoa. Poumuli tried to get Lewinsky included in this, given the description of Samoa as “hell on earth”, but instead Sean and Gayboy were dobbed in for chitchatting.

Turning to the ongoing debacle of the Hash BBQ, there were some interesting theories floated – was it the Poutasi air, or was it just regular old like Poumuli or was it OTR? A vote gave all the theories support, so Godfather, Sassy, Transporter and Poumuli took a BBQ Award.

The GM had gone to pick up Crime to also get the paper for the trail, and had been disrespected by David who had asked who POD was? Poumuli noted that this had almost been a Full Moon Hash, and since none had done that tradition, suggested that it be awarded to the Hasher with the most moonlike visage, namely Lewinsky!

There was a lot more going on, but some of the final ones related to non-interference with the BBQ process (Sassy, Il Capo, David, Strap On and Lewinsky), and Gayboy nominating Poumuli for apparently disappearing during the fashion show (he was in the VIP lounge, not the riff-raff lounge) and Strap On watching Bill defend Hillary against Trump (Lewinsky).

The Host and Hare, Transporter and Crime were saluted, after which we ate the lovely BBQ.

Next week’s Hash at Nafanua, and we need a Scribe.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1838

Talofa Hashers
Tonight's Hash will be hosted by Transporter out at Seyleck Motors in Vaitele. Take the Vaitele road out of town, then turn left just past the Vaitele market. Seyleck Motors is a bit down that road. Sorry no map.

It is a BYO BBQ run, so please bring something to share, be it meats, fish or salads. Run starts at 5.30 PM or 17.30, please bring your 20 tala Hash Cash for the keg.

Please also bring a chair if you can, as there is little to sit on there!

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1837

The Hash was hosted by David at his rental place near Moototua, just behind Giordano’s. The hare was Crime, and he had set a relatively easy run, because the weather was crap. However, Godfather remarkably made the rain stop as the pack set out of the gate, and it held up until the majority had returned to the house – Jehovah, it’s a miracle. So the trail led us past Lynn’s and on to the hospital road. Down and over the Vaitele road, we turned right at the insurance company, and made our way back to cross island road. Then it was on home, and sweet tiny nuts.

POD stepped in as GM and welcomed the smallish circle. There were no newbies, but the retreads were Nettie, Sunny Side Up, Black Swan, Octopussy and Screamer. Witch Doctor was appointed Shoe Inspector, and she zeroed in on Octopussy. David claimed to have seen the price tag inside the shoe, this lead to a Time Traveler Award as the shoe had not been removed as yet.

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady, Godfather and Titty Galore for being in the paper, Poumuli for forgetting the clippings and Lewinsky for Da Head (severed head found on beach in Fiji).

This Day in History Awards went to Witch Doctor (1716 – The Battle of Dynekilen forces Sweden to abandon its invasion of Norway), Il Capo and Screamer (1937 – The Marco Polo Bridge Incident provides the Imperial Japanese Army with a pretext for starting the Second Sino-Japanese War), Lewinsky (1998 – Abkhazia releases Clinton and Lewinsky stamp) and Sunny Side Up (no reason).

Turning to the GM’s awards, a Confusion Award went to Wahoo who was convinced she was on the celeb list (not), that this was not a BYO, and generally for next week’s fashion show. Then from one extreme to another, from ill prepared to well prepared, as Witch Doctor pointed to the sheer amount of paper left over from setting the trail – David got the Boys Scout Award (even though the paper had been supplied by Poumuli, who remained silent).

StrapOn and Il Capo had been so excited on the run it sounded like they were making a porno, although Il Capo had said that she was going to puke. Nettie and Godfather were also called forward for the squeal of excitement when Godfather spilled his drink on her, yet had a handy towel ready to do some wiping.

Lewinsky nominated the GM for the Overly Excited Award, as they had been towing a vehicle from Savaii, and the GM had been a bit flustered so that when they arrived at Transporter’s she excitedly placed the gear in park, from whence it jammed. She was joined by Lewinsky for making her do it in the first place.

Black Swan self-nominated as she had been at Firstcummer’s wedding and been asked to do a reading, and self-censored herself to call her Forerunner instead. David tried to nominate Il Capo for the delayed start to the run due to toilet break, but mucked it up so that both of them took it. Poumuli tried to nominate Lewinsky for leaving the BBQ behind in Poutasi, but this was false information as it was Godfather who simply hadn’t brought it back – this led to a down down for Poumuli. Lewinsky further drew attention away by nominating chef Crime for a respectful one.

It was pointed out that it was Screamer in Fiji’s birthday today, thus Screamer took one. Godfather noted that every year POD wins the Lalomanu half-marathon, except this year it was some overseas bitch. POD excused the poor show by timing of office work, but also shared this one with Lewinsky and Sunny Side Up.

David was nominated for a failure to understand Hash, with a question of where are we going to Il Capo during the run – Octopussy joined for an absurdist remark. Lewinsky wanted to give one to the host for his environmentally friendly employer SPREP, and who was described by Wahoo as really brainy, but David got him to join for his over-excitement.

Godfather then provided an update on what had happened with the Hamilton Boys at the Edge – a bag snatcher had run off with a tourist’s bag, only to be stopped by Crime, pissed as a newt, so that when Godfather congratulated him, he was quite confused as to what he was talking about. Godfather then nominated anyone who has not heard the Hamilton Boys – POD, Octopussy, Black Swan and Sachi.

The Hare and the Host, Crime and David were saluted before the BBQ was consumed

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1837

Talofa Hashers
Monday's Hash will be hosted by David with Crime as Hare. The location is as follows:
Take Cross-Island Road out of Apia, go past Scalini's and the road to Giordano's and Lynn's Supermarket. You will pass Marfleet Printing on the right and then take an immediate right turn down that first driveway at the corner of the Marfleet fence. Go to end of drive and turn in to left. There may be a need to have some park out on the road.

This will be a BYO BBQ and other foods run, unless you want to eat vegan like David. Reminder to Lewinsky to bring the BBQ!!!!!

Run starts at 17.30 or 5.30 PM as usual, so bring your 20 tala Hash Cash and have a great day out with the Hash.

Hash Trash 1836

The Hash was hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo and Yahoo at their house in Vaoala, off Bank Street. It was a cool day so far up in the hills, and even cooler when Poolboy took everyone by truck up to the Baha’i Temple. Slight miscommunication meant that the first false trail was ignored. Poumuli told the walkers that they should just head straight home, but Nom Nom took this to be the full instruction and raced away. The rest proceeded down Cross-Island Road, with a detour around Lamosa Road. Lots of dogs but Il Capo and Cunning Linguist beat them off, with sticks. Down the hill no one bought the false trail past the Mormon church, so it was simply on home down Bank Street. All in all a 4.5 km run, pleasant temperature and Godfather’s lovely miniscule nuts were chilling.

POD stepped in as GM, and there were no newbies. Retreads were Nom Nom (in Melbourne) and Loose Lips (concussion). Jessica was made shoe inspector and failed.

This Day in History Awards went to David (1776 – American Revolution: The United States Declaration of Independence is adopted by the Second Continental Congress), Cunning Linguist (1848 – Slaves are freed in the Danish West Indies (now U.S. Virgin Islands) by Peter von Scholten in the culmination of a year-long plot by enslaved Africans), Godfather (1892 – Western Samoa changes the International Date Line. Monday, July 4 occurs twice, resulting in a year with 367 days), Lewinsky (2002 – The International Criminal Court is established to prosecute individuals for genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and the crime of aggression) and Il Capo (International Asteroid Day).

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady (in paper) and Cunning Linguist (Tokelau article). The GM’s first award was for the exuberant commentator celebrating Iceland’s win over the poms – Witch Doctor took this one. Keeping it in the family, the GM called on Poumuli for gatecrashing a wedding and telling porky pies to Wahoo about his whereabouts. Also at the wedding Gayboy and Sassy had done some sexy chair dancing, and he was joined by Karaoke for her magnificent cake.

David had been spotted at the beach with Wahoo’s family as well as what appeared to be scantily clad medical students. Instead of talking to them he proceeded to wrestle with dogs to get their attention. Manly Award!

One of the Hash Meres was complaining about her husband taking all her drinks. Eveready countered that it was because Lewinsky had drunk all the tonic. However, we know Lewinsky is on a wine diet so that failed. Godfather then explained why the Hash had not performed the Hash Anthem for Elle McJr – there were faifeaus, ministers etc present so it had been called off. Everyone there had wanted to go ahead – except Titty Galore who took a down down.

Also at the beach Poumuli had been in the water entertaining all the kids, and was calling his wife to take a picture of Pulitzer prize characteristics, which she refused to do. Lack of Cooperation Award to Wahoo, who was joined by Gayboy for vibrator interruptus.

Slim Shady nominated Loose Lips for the Sex Harassment Award, as she had sat in some sauce and then proceeded to shove her ass in everyone’s face. Cunning Linguist got the Loopyman Award for his 50 km bike race.

David wanted to nominate anyone of British descent for the US Independence Day Award. Slim Shady added that David was geographically challenged for stating that Connecticut was just outside New York. Snatched had tried to back away slowly but was spotted, and joined David for his double, as well as all the other Yanks – Eveready, Jessica and Wahoo.

Gayboy attempted to make a nomination, but the seriously disturbing view of his leaking nipples got the GM into paroxysms of laughter. Eventually the discussion landed on that Poumuli had had to sit on his lap for the wedding photo – but Godfather nipped the discussion in the bud, that this was why he hadn’t pressed the point about performing at the wedding – Hash is a bunch of pisstaking idiots some times.

David wanted to honor Nom Nom for doing the Dry July without drinking, and nominated anyone born in January for a Wet January Award – POD. Getting back to his wedding stories, Gayboy has been to many, but never has a mate missed the key part due to having gone off for a dump – Lewinsky.

Il Capo felt that the run had not been well marked and nominated Poumuli, Nom Nom and David, the latter two for not doing the loop.

Godfather then did a bit of advertising for the jazz and latin music shows at the Marina Friday and Home Café on Saturday. He also highlighted the FLO Walk 4 Life walk on Saturday morning.

We then saluted the hosts and hare before eating some Hungarian Goulash.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1835

The Hash was hosted by Gayboy at his refined feline eatery in Matautu by the port. As per usual there was no Hare so we did a live run. Out the gate down the seawall, turn in at Cross Island Road, across the broken bridge in Leone, over to UN Four Corners, and then on home via Vaiala Beach. Simple and wholesome.

Sassygirl BJ called the circle to order. New to Hash was David (intern at SPREP) but he failed to identify his sponsor, Poumuli, which led to a down down for Poumuli. There was also Adam and Deon from Oz (over to visit Swinger) and Albert (friend of Gayboy).

Retreads were Cunning Linguist (recovering), StrapOn (quit job), Gayboy (gay excuse), Kitty Kitty (grounded, then pregnant), Jessica (family matters), and Swinger (in Savaii).

Shoe Inspector Il Capo tried but failed. The GM then berated Gayboy for poor communications, not setting the run and not having the food ready. This was deemed a crime so Crime took the award.

This Day in History Awards went to Sassygirl BJ (363 – Roman emperor Julian is killed during the retreat from the Sasanian Empire. General Jovian is proclaimed Emperor by the troops on the battlefield), Swinger (1374 – A sudden outbreak of St. John's Dance causes people in the streets of Aachen, Germany, to experience hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapse from exhaustion), Gayboy (1978 – The rainbow flag representing gay pride is flown for the first time during the San Francisco Gay Freedom Day Parade) Il Capo (2013 – Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is found guilty of abusing his power and having sex with an underage prostitute, and is sentenced to seven years in prison (Bunga Bunga)) and Jessica (United Nations Public Service Day).

Celebrity Awards went to Vikki for Slim Shady (in paper), Pirate Princess for Prince (also in the paper), Cunning Linguist (Tokelau farm story), Captain Mortein (cannot recall why) and StrapOn (Skyeeye infomercial).

The GM made a comment that the coconuts appeared to be getting smaller, so Godfather took one for shrinking nuts. She then called on Captain Mortein and Pirate Princess for their 7 year anniversary.

Ring Ring had of course been in Guam, and what with all the military guys there had decided to slim down a bit. Eveready insisted that she be saluted militarily, which landed him a down down. Turning to the Manu Ikale game, the GM picked on Swinger and StrapOn as representatives for the two teams.

Before the run a hasher had been whingeing to the GM about not getting to socialise enough – so why didn’t Poumuli bring him to hash earlier? The GM got Adam into the circle to be fondled by Il Capo, Karaoke, Pirate Princess and Ring Ring. Latecummer Snatched was saluted.

Turning to the Brexit, Il Capo nominated Cunning Linguist, Witch Doctor, Poumuli and Swinger in a convoluted Euro dance. David then nominated the GM which resulted in another for Poumuli. Cunning Linguist felt the GM had overstepped and nominated her, which resulted in a vote for Cunning Linguist.

The GM then spotted Eveready fondling Gayboy’s pot plants, even though he claimed to be cleaning it. Vikki and Crime were awarded for sneaking out back to smoke. At this stage Poumuli re-enacted the Chicken Action Dance, this time with the rooster addition suggested by Eveready.

The Host Gayboy and evident Hare Cunning Linguist were saluted.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1836

Talofa Hashers
Monday's Hash Run will be hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo and Yahoo in Vaoala. Take Cross Island Road, then turn right on Bank Street. Take the first road left and go all the way to the top. Green banisters on the balcony.

Run starts at 17.30 or 5.30 PM. Bring your 20 tala Hash Cash. There will be food.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1835

Monday 27th June the Hash will be hosted at Sunrise Restaurant by Gayboy. Go down Beach Road past Aggie's, turn off towards the wharf, go past Paddles and Palusami and the various bars in the Marina and you will see Sunrise past the Port Authority.

Run starts at 17.30 or 5.30 PM. Bring your 20 tala Hash Cash. Will update if there is any theme for the run later.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1834

The Hash was hosted by Witch Doctor at Nafanua Steakhouse, her restaurant on Beach Road. This came about as a result of the usual hash-up that Mismanagement can achieve on a regular basis – Situation Normal, All F’d Up. As we didn’t even have a live hare, it was agreed by the usual democratic process which must be the norm in the Lewinsky household – POD told us where to go. So off down the seawall past the government buildings, then across the back of the RSA to the Fish Market. Then it was onwards on the sea wall again, past the various establissements that still cling on. As the sun set on the monuments to Sino-Samoan cooperation, the small pack vended its way home. Godfather was absent, as were his nuts.

POD called the circle to order, and invited our only newbie, Michael – Eveready’s cousin – to take a down down. The only retread was Lewinsky, but he was so confused about when he was last at Hash that this became the Retard Award.

Il Capo as Shoe Inspector failed, but escaped when Witch Doctor’s hobbit feet were examined more closely, as they had a whole new layer of shit on them, thus new.

Celebrity Awards went to Sassygirl BJ for being in the news, and Screamer as Godfather’s closest living relative (Observer photo).

This Day in History Awards went to Sassy (632 – Yazdegerd III ascends to the throne as king (shah) of the Persian Empire. He becomes the last ruler of the Sasanian dynasty (modern Iran)), Wahoo for Pirate Princess (1631 – The sack of Baltimore: The Irish village of Baltimore is attacked by Algerian pirates), Witch Doctor (1944 – Iceland declares independence from Denmark and becomes a republic – it was Norwegian before the Danes stole it), Crime (World Sauntering Day), Michael (World Refugee Day), Il Capo (International Yoga Day) and Eveready (US Father’s Day).

The GM had been asked by Wahoo if Cupless was coming, as she has her shoes. The GM calculated that this meant Wahoo hadn’t run for 10 Hashes and gave her a Shirker Award. She then turned to/on Lewinsky who had been out drinking with ProBoner, and had got into a fight. Upon returning home he demanded his “sword”. While there was some speculation as to what he actually meant, or what the sword was made from, he did take his down down in wine!

In the news the GM had been following the Oscar Pistorius case, and decided that a Bladerunner Award go to Poumuli for his knee brace. As this was what Lewinsky called (the first of) a respectful measure, he was soon pistorius as a fart.

Then we had the dreadful Manu Samoa performance in multiple games – Crime took one for the Manu, while closest living relative to Spain was Il Capo. The GM took the Woeful Wallaby Supporter Award for their piss-poor performance against the Poms, assisted by Screamer.

Sassy nominated Lewinsky for the Blatant Attempted Staff Theft Award, for trying to persuade some competent hotel staff to join his competence-challenged operations. This sounded like a crime, committed against an Italian-sounding family, this he was joined by Crime and Il Capo. Il Capo revenged on Poumuli by recalling the appalling habit of his dog in shaking himself close to people when emerging from the water.

Witch Doctor had been playing pool at the Rocks recently, and as a result has been stalked by the bald dude who works there, forever coming over asking for coffee and food. When it emerged that Lewinsky encouraged such behaviour as a cost saving measure he took the Miser Award.

Poumuli then nominated Witch Doctor for the Unfortunate Award, as her attempt at making a chandelier looked way too much like a swastika.

Following another tradition Poumuli nominated Lewinsky, put it to the vote and got an affirmative before Lewinsky had even uttered “what the hell for?” Sassy was nominated for her foolhardy citizens arrest, while Il Capo nominated Screamer for feeding Black Swan’s cat, or rather forgetting to feed it.

Next week’s run will be at Sunrise Restaurant in Matautu, hosted by Gayboy. Details to follow.

The Hosts and Hare, Witch Doctor, Vikki and Poumuli were saluted before we had some pizza donated by Poumuli.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1834

Today's Hash will be hosted by Witch Doctor at Nafanua Steakhouse on Beach Road. Run starts at 17.30 or 5.30 PM. Bring your 20 tala Hash Cash and enjoy the run

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1833

The Hash was hosted by AC/DC at the Tokelau compound in Moamoa. It had been a blustery rainy day, so AC/DC hadn’t even set a trail. There were mutinous voices heard that we should head straight for the keg. But when Godfather arrived it looked like we would have a window without rain. We have run this trail twice so we knew where we were going. Out left along the road we went down a path through the bushes, and over a surprisingly dry creek bed. Once over the other side, we hit the wider dirt track, and then the rain hit us. Hard. Running for shelter that wasn’t there in the manner of the blind man, in the dark room, looking for the black cat – that isn’t there, we re-grouped and set off down the tar sealed road. Apologies, the rain was blinding so road signs were ignored. Godfather called on back as he knew a better and shorter route than our intended. Thus we went down another dirt track, over the creek again, and arrived at the back of some school building. We were again on a good road, but were viciously attacked by some dogs – gate open of course – to be rescued by Poumuli’s well aimed stone, and Captain Mortein’s version of a cluster bomb – a bouncing coconut. Stupid dogs actually ran after it! We finally got to the road to Chanel College and then it was on home. Drenched as we were, Godfather’s lovely nuts were lovely as usual.

Eveready stepped in as GM for the day. There were no newbies, but the retreads were Nettie (Twin Peaks daughter), Pea (AC/DC bro) and Ring Ring. Shoe inspector Black Swan failed.

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady (in the paper with the Georgians) and AC/DC (film star).

This Day In History Awards went to Captain Mortein (1219 – Northern Crusades: Danish victory at the Battle of Lyndanisse (modern-day Tallinn) establishes the Danish Duchy of Estonia. According to legend, this battle also marks the first use of the Dannebrog, the world's first national flag still in use, as the national flag of Denmark), Witch Doctor (1940 – World War II: Norway surrenders to German forces), AC/DC (1991 – 1991 Kokkadichcholai massacre: The Sri Lankan Army massacres 152 minority Tamil civilians in the village of Kokkadichcholai near the eastern province town of Batticaloa) and Captain Mortein (Global Wind Day).

Opening up for nominations Slim Shady gave Poumuli the Self-Immolation Award. Trying to light the BBQ on Sunday he had accidentally got flames up his face, singeing off his nose hairs, and complained that all he could smell was disgusting. He was joined by Slim Shady for taking a close up photo and posting it on FB.

Poumuli recalled an earlier discussion with Mismanagement of the need for Apia Hash to set up a position of Religious Adviser, common to most other Hashes, whose sole task it would be to ensure that it doesn’t rain on Hash. Godfather had enthusiastically endorsed this and put himself forward. As we had been soaked on the run, Poumuli suggested that a down down was in order. Godfather explained that the rain had actually stopped when he arrived, and it was AC/DC who gave the On On, thus the Rainmaker Award went to AC/DC.

Seeking to mete out more punishment, Poumuli nominated Captain Mortein for the Father of the Week Award for the numerous, painful and earsplitting times that Marco Polo had fallen before the run and during the circle. The GM got in on the act by adding Vehicle Abuse, but Captain Mortein alleged that this was Pirate Princess’ doing, as she would always load her entire aiga into the poor vehicle.

Karaoke then nominated AC/DC for the Future Troublemaker Award, as his son had been nibbling all over her and fondling her bewbs. As per tradition, Godfather exclaimed that he was proud of him.

Ring Ring was then nominated for getting into trouble in Guam, getting kidnapped from her stall at the Pacific Arts Festival. She was joined by leaners Pusiapa and Captain Mortein, as well as Pea who was also in Guam, albeit in a non-kidnapping function.

AC/DC then nominated Crime for a double as he was being suspiciously quiet, obviously contemplating something nefarious. Poumuli nominated Nettie and Wahoo for thinking that the Manu Samoa had been playing the State of Georgia as opposed to the Republic of Georgia, but ended up as whipping boy with Wahoo.

We then celebrated with AC/DC his birthday – cake provided by Karaoke – with the usual raucous singing. AC/DC thanked the Hash Family for all the fun and friendship, before he and the crew took the Hosts and non-Hare award. We had a great feast.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1833

Greetings Hashers
Monday's Hash will be hosted by AC/DC in the Tokelau compound, same as a few months ago.

Take the airport road from town, and turn left at the lights opposite AST Industries. This is the road to Chanel College. Its quite a long way to drive, over some ridges and fords. The last ford is quite a substantial dip in the road. When you get to the top after that ford, there is a green sign on the right for some sort of B&B or accommodation. Take that right turn, a few hundred metres, you will cross a small white bridge and the compound is just on the left, with the word Tokelau spelled out in white painted stones.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1832

Greetings Hashers
The run will be hosted by Cunning Linguist in Vaivase. A map can be found below. This is apparently the Queen's Birthday, so our host has requested that we dress in a queenly fashion. This would entail dresses for the male Hashers, and sundry cross-dressing by the Meres. This follows the long standing international Hash Tradition of the Red Dress Run which we have not done for a few years now.

Run starts at 5.30 PM, bring your Hash Cash of 20 tala and enjoy. If lost call Cunning Linguist on 7294913
 
Your Scribe will be absent so it is hoped an Assistant Trainee Scribe can be found.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1831

The Hash was hosted by ProBoner, POD, Lewinsky and the Happy girls at Taumeasina. We set off out the gate and ran down towards the new hotel entrance. Past the sportsfield we came to the small creek. A few intrepid runners crossed the water, while Godfather negotiated with the owner of the small house to use the bridge, which was successful. It was then unclear whether the route went towards the wharf or straight up to the UN office at 4 corners, but the majority chose the latter. After some further confusion the trail then took us down to Apia Park and past Crime’s place (Crime Scene?). Up into the village behind Apia Park we knew there was a short cut back to Beach Road, but were dissuaded by a local lady because of the saa. So up we ran towards NUS, but here there was a legitimate shortcut over towards Fagalii, which we all took except Pussysnatcher. Then it was on home past the corner church and the rugby field. By now it was getting pretty dark, so this should be kept in mind when setting such long runs. Godfather’s nuts were tastier than usual.

Sassygirl BJ stepped in as GM as POD was cooking. First there was a small ceremony to dress Firstcummer in a green lava lava and adorning her hair with a toilet paper tiara. Pusiapa had sought out some questions from her fiancée, and checked how well Firstcummer knows her betrothed – she got zero out of five, so a down down was awarded.

There were none new to Hash, and the retreads were Do Me Twice, Slim Shady, Nutcracker, Hornithologist and Poumuli. Shoe Inspector Il Capo found Vicki’s new shoes, which she ably drank from.

The GM then asked Titty Galore for the run number – she had been told it was 1829 but it is actually 1831. It was actually Slim Shady though who had read the numbers wrong so they shared the award.

Before the run, Crime had gone out to help carry the nuts over, but was told by Godfather that a Hash Mere had been asked for help, which she did, but was also exposed to Godfather’s costume change. The GM decided that this was a Indecent Exposure Award for Godfather.

Then on the run, one Hasher had taken the wrong turn and took all the walking Hash Meres with him. Chick Hogging Award to Shitbags. Just then a newcomer Bruce arrived. He’s a friend of Lewinsky’s parents, and took a rapid down down.

Also on the run there was some grumbling about the enforced swim, but since a little patience would have avoided it, and then bitching about it afterwards was not to the GM’s approbation. This went to Hot Nuts. It was Firstcummer’s last run for a while, and she had forgotten her running shoes, thus a further down down.

Celebrity Awards went to Godfather (STA photo in the paper), Pussysnatcher (quoted in the paper about snakes) and Poumuli (spurious connection to recent climate change meetings).

This Day in History Awards went to Sassy (363 – The Roman emperor Julian defeats the Sasanian army in the Battle of Ctesiphon, under the walls of the Sasanian capital, but is unable to take the city. And for 451 – Battle of Avarayr between Armenian rebels and the Sasanian Empire takes place. The Empire defeats the Armenians militarily but guarantees them freedom to openly practice Christianity), Prince (1120 – Richard III of Capua is anointed as Prince two weeks before his untimely death), Cunning Linguist (1932 – In the Netherlands, construction of the Afsluitdijk is completed and the Zuiderzee bay is converted to the freshwater Ijsselmeer), Witch Doctor (1940 – World War II: Norwegian, French, Polish and British forces recapture Narvik in Norway. This is the first allied infantry victory of the War), Do Me Twice (1967 – Australians vote in favor of a constitutional referendum granting the Australian government the power to make laws to benefit Indigenous Australians and to count them in the national census), Lewinsky (1997 – The U.S. Supreme Court rules that Paula Jones can pursue her sexual harassment lawsuit against President Bill Clinton while he is in office), ProBoner (Feast Day of St Bona of Pisa), Poumuli (International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers) and Crime (Samoa Independence Day).

This led Hot Nuts to exclaim that this was the most thorough History awards ever, giving Poumuli yet another.

Opening up for nominations, Slim Shady had been disturbed by a performance of a new Hash song and dance by Poumuli. This he had picked up in Germany, and he was thus forced to perform the Chicken Action Dance. Deeming it highly un-disturbing, the GM gave both a down down.

Slim Shady then nominated Hot Nuts for the Prodigious Procreator Award for his vast success in planting pumpkins, which Hot Nuts commented was as a result of sowing your seeds far and wide. Pusiapa added that after the last Hash, Hot Nuts had run through four red lights.

Loose Lips had asked Lewinsky where the shower was so that she could freshen up after the run. He typically directed her to the outside shower, and asked her to tell him when so he could fetch the rest of the Hashers. Godfather was suitably proud of Lewinsky.

Il Capo had received a visit from Pussysnatcher who went to the beach with Angry Bird, which resulted in a locked gate debacle. Firstcummer then gave an oratorical performance to mimic Hot Nuts, the upshot of which was that he was peeved that no one flirts with him, and that he never flirts with intent. This went to both of them joined by Nutcracker.

The GM then organised a Boat Race, with Do Me Twice, Witch Doctor and Screamer on one side, and Phil, Crime and Bruce on the other, and then claimed that the male victory was really a draw. 

After Firstcummer thanked the Hash for being her favourite community in Samoa, the Hosts and the Hare (Crime) were saluted. We also sang the Hash Anthem for Firstcummer.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1829

The Hash will be hosted by Proboner, POD and Lewinsky as well as the Happies at Taumeasina. Run starts at 5.30 PM. Bring your Hash Cash of 20 tala and swimgear if you want to jump in the sea after the run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1828

Hash 16 May 2016

Hosted by Ill Capo - no scripture seems to have eventuated, but we must surely record the naming of Black Swan, Firstcummer, Loose Lips, Pusiapa, Angry Bird and little Marco Polo.

Hash 23 May 2016

With Pumouli still overseas and yours truly just returned, it seemed the right thing to do to volunteer as the scribe – we couldn’t possibly have two more runs off the record!

This hash was at Eveready and Karaoke’s place, and the theme pink as usual there. What was unusual was the length of the run: 9km set! We started a bit late, and so most of us took a shorter route to return before dark when the nuts and keg were waiting.

The grand circle counted 33 heads, with newcomers Prue and Barry from EnZed, Screamer from Oz, and Ruby, Grace, Sarah and Connor from the YouKay, plus Wendy from the YouEsOfA? It proved worthwhile to have trained introducees in hash rules, as HotNuts had to take a double and ACDC a single for their non-hash names being used in vain by these newcomers.

Many retreads this month: ACDC, Godfather, Karaoke, Eveready, Mr Whippy and Prince – in all excuses their families played a big role as you would expect. Shoe inspector Firstcummer did not take long to point the finger at Cunning Linguists whose neon laces had already provoked much glee before. In the absence of Pomouli, any relevant historic events were simply ignored.

Sort-of celebrities were the Joseph Parker and referee lookalikes Prince and Godfather, a car crash pointed the finger at Crash, a suicide-by-??? to Swinger and TV appearance by Devine were all good for down-downs, as was Strapon for some obscure reason. Referring to the Rugby 7s, Sarah appeared most closely linked to Scotland and Godfather to Fiji, although ACDC got a downdown relating to “my history” whatever that item in my notes means.

Nominations from the floor came from Il Capo to Eveready for setting an impossibly long run which had however been set by Crash; yet-to-be-named Phil for being a bad artist (having his elei printing destroyed by the housekeeper rather than him ironing it himself); and for Swinger for ignoring the run-setter’s shout that he was going the wrong way.

Sassygirl nominated Firstcummer and GM for noisy wining and dining, which was reciprocated to Sassygirl for her liking the shapes of empty winebottles too much. What do we make of this, I wonder!

Firstcummer nominated a three musketeers award to Godfather, HotNuts and Swinger for rescuing some of her Marguerita that went flying, the glass with ¼ content caught by Godfather and some of the spilt juice being licked off thighs by HotNuts  - who gave an impressive theatrical impression of what had gone on in the public eye. And Swinger? He had gallantly footed the bill…

Sassygirl also nominated Black Swan as the longest person standing at a party and then wanting to take a taxi in pursuit of a friendly driver to go out with. Il Capo nominated Lewinsky for no longer wanting to drink beer, but his drinking of wine resulting in dangerous movements towards the loo – his effort to reciprocate with a “peeping Tom award” failed. Mr Whippy nominated Crime for the Good Samaritan award, ie for reminding of the all-important pink outfit. Lewinsly nominated Eveready and Karaoke for setting a bad example by leaving their weed out to dry – which is a Crime of course. Apparently “It was an experiment”! Well this was all going on a bit long but whatever.

Hops got a double downdown for firstly not stepping forward as a retread and secondly for forgetting his hash name when paying hash cash! Was it really that long ago (or Alzheimer’s)? - but at least he paid. Sassygirl nominated Screamer (from Oz) as an imposter for our own absent Screamer.

Eveready then took the floor to announce the birth of his granddaughter Maya (number four, plus a grandson but he admitted losing track of). A head-wetting toast was combined with that for the Hare (Crash) and both hosts (Eveready and Karaoke).

But it wasn’t over yet, as all those not wearing any pink (in honour of the hosts’ daughter Luanna, whose favourite colour this had been) got to do a few push-ups, another opportunity for HutNuts to show off while some others suffered. Upon complementing Delicious on looking deliciously slim, Godfather did a swash performance of our favourite “Wise men say..” in a tight circle of swinging singers. One to remember – if it wasn’t for all those down-downs!

On On

Cunning Linguist

Today's Run - Eveready & Karaeoke @ Lotopa

Talofa lava Hashmen and Meres

Today's run will be hosted by Eveready & Karaeoke from their home at Lotopa. Run will start promptly at 5.30pm. Bring your hash cash of SAT20.00 and your good sense of humor.

Theme is PINK!!! 

For the newbies - take the westbound road like you're heading to the airport. After the Mormon Temple at  Pesega, turn left at the next set of lights just before the blue roofed fales at Lepea. Approx 500meters on your left is Delicious Cakes with other shops. Turn left after this building and drive to the end  to the venue.

ON ON

Sassy

Hash Run 1828

The mothers day hash run will start at 4pm on Monday May 9th May at the new Malololelei reserve (see map below).

Take the Cross-Island Road past the Bahai temple and then turn off on Kelsey Lane (huge sign for a Catholic Church). Continue straight, past church compound and keep going as the road turns to dirt road. The compound is at the end of the road where it takes a sharp left turn. It is quite a ways in.

Hot Nuts and Swinger will be the hosts and will put on a wee BBQ so bring your hash cash and a change of clothes in case of rain…

This is a run not to be missed by nature lovers and lovers of birds and bees, flowers and trees…

ON ON

 Poumuli, IKA Slit