Hash trash 1518
This absolutely marvellous hash was hosted by Godfather, in both Poutasi and Nusafee Island. Many hashers gathered on Sunday at Godfather’s house for a sumptuous toonai, followed by the loading of the boat for the trip across. A lot of beverages and tuff required two trips to complete the transfer. After setting up tents, hammocks and a bar, we enjoyed the afternoon with swimming and relaxing, followed by a barbeque and a bonfire accompanied by raucous singing. Those who went were Godfather, Cockblocker, Titty Galore, Wahoo, Poumuli, SOTB, Aina, Pussysnatcher, Cherelle, Sassygirl BJ, BlowMe and Psychodelic. And while CB claimed that what happened on the island, stays on the island, many stories were recounted the next day.
As we had to wait for the tide, we spent the morning eating, swimming and relaxing, before starting the hectic clean-up as the boat approached. More hashers started to arrive at Godfather’s house as he set off to mark the trail. A bit of confusion at first, as we went up and down the beach road. CB had found a false trail cross, and it took an intervention by Godfather to point Hot Nuts in the right direction. Poumuli picked up the trail next to the bingo hall, and this took us up through the gardens to the main road. A few more false leads, with Captain Mortein being sent on a wild goose chase by Hot Nuts. Down along the main road we passed the Poutasi entrance and found the trail leading through more gardens and down to the beach, and on back to Godfather’s house. It was a really hot but short run, and the hashers who had been on the island were perhaps a bit out of breath. But we gratefully returned to the deck and a cool dip in the water.
SOTB was volunteered for GM, which he unfortunately accepted. There were no newcomers that stepped forward, but Godfather’s phone interrupted the proceedings. Rethreads were Wacko and Luaao from Pago. The GM called out Aina for not introducing herself as new to hash, and she joined the rethreads in the award, which was also in honour of their 25th Anniversary. A New Boots Award went to Psychodelic for her brand new jandals. The GM started off his awards with a Maikolo Award to BlowMe for being a night creeper out on the island – he had done a fair impersonation of a landcrab as he tried to reach his hammock. Poumuli was awarded the Meet Thyself Award for smashing his skull on a poumuli tree, unnecessarily made into a double by the GM.
Swinger, while we were grateful for him bringing the keg, had only brought one bag of ice which had melted, so the GM gave him a Stingy Prick Award. Turning back to the island activities, apparently Godfather had set a rule about no clothing. While some of us had missed this, Titty G had surpassed all expectations as the leader of the pack in this regard – Flaunting Award!
Chilindrina was silenced with a Talking Too Much Award, doubled because of her wearing sunglasses. The GM expressed his confusion as to why two hash meres would go camping on a deserted island and not bring a bikini – Wahoo and Aina were awarded for borrowing bikinis from Titty G. But they did look good, though.
Captain Mortein was spotted leaning, but was asked to remain front and centre for a Male Blonde Award. After receiving his tsunami relief payment he had placed an ad in the paper for a new truck, and was concerned that he was receiving no offers. He had of course forgotten to put his phone number in the ad. Poumuli recounted how Swinger had been given a Genius Award last week, and nominated him for a Now We Know Where He Gets It From Award for his father’s many letters to the Editor. Hot Nuts offered to read out the text, but the turgid prose and delivery only landed him an award of his own. A Cellphonus Interruptus went to Captain Mortein, and no, it was not about a new truck!
Turning back to the island, the GM described the scene, music blaring, and a makeshift stripping pole set up and vigorously utilized by Psychodelic. Your Scribe was either knocked out at this point, as he knows not what a stripping pole is, but we will take the GM’s word for it. Since this was also a major Hash Birthday, Sassy got a double. AC/DC made a latecummers entrance with a full crew in tow. After AC/DC and CB (for name recognition, not). Your Scribe didn’t get all the names but it was a fairly multinational crew that AC/DC had brought.
Since this was International Migratory Bird Species Day, Poumuli nominated Swinger and Hot Nuts for the Professional Bird Watcher Award. Sassy nominated CB for unsafe conduct with a hash mere on the rocks at Nusafee, and was joined by Psychodelic. Getting his wits back, CB nominated Swinger and Poumuli for Not Doing Their Job Award (there was a climate change meeting going on). Poumuli tried to get out of it by saying that he had delegated that responsibility, just as he would delegate his down-down to oops, got BlowMe’s name wrong – doubled!
Sassy nominated CB and SOTB for streaking on the island, with your Scribe joining in for something that is now forgotten. Swinger nominated Hot Nuts for the Stolen Laptop Award (something about late notification to HQ). Sassy also wanted to thank Hash for giving her the best birthday ever, on a beautiful island, with beautiful people and a great bartender – Aina got the Cocktails Award.
Poumuli, who should know when to shut his trap, tried to nominate BB for the honour of leading the Samoan Delegation to the PPSWA in Bali, but the GM thought this too lame so the down down went to Poumuli. AC/DC had been describing how he would be carrying the Olympic torch on its relay through Samoa, but since it was actually the Commonwealth Games torch he got a double Self-Promotion/Delusion Award. BB joined for name recognition.
While AC/DC was introducing his crew his cellphone went off. There was much hilarity as Titty G mistakenly made a baa-baa sound to demonstrate what noise cows make, and BB joined in this Blonde Award. Sassy had been perturbed to see the paths in which the footprints had taken on the island, and nominated Godfather. Sassy joined for making an FBI length nomination. Pirate Princess nominated Hot Nuts for the Kiss My Butt Award, something about short shorts, which Nutcracker joined in for not keeping Hot Nuts in line.
CB wanted to get a group nomination award to all those who did not streak on the island, which the GM unfairly commuted to a single award to Poumuli, accompanied by sundry insults. Sassy thanked Godfather for giving her the best birthday ever, that it had taken her 50 years to get to Nusafee. She also nominated her mouthy son SOTB for cooking breakfast so early in the morning for all. Titty G nominated CB for the Low-riding Shorts Award (really, we do not need to see that crack at dawn). A special award went to BlowMe, who had been sitting in the ocean, rocking along and after a tequila shot exclaimed – ooh, tequila is really nice! That was before his crabwalk back up the beach.
Captain Mortein snagged a Competitive Running Award for trying to be the first Dane to beat a Norwegian, while Sassy commented that for 50 years she had been waiting for grandkids (a bit ambitious that) only to see her son playing happily with Happy Feet – a Whats Up With That SOTB Award. Sassy thanked Godfather profusely for his effort at making the Nusafee trip a success, and noted that this very special person in Hash – our Godfather – rules and rocks! Godfather led us in the birthday serenade. SOTB started to close proceedings by saying how privileged he was to have the best Mum in the world, and the only one that he could call The Bitch. Poumuli snagged a final Whiny Bitch Award for leaning and hiccupping.
Next week’s run will be hosted by Poumuli and Wahoo at Norman’s new place up in Malololelei. Please be on time as there are no streetlights and we need to finish the run on time for safety’s sake. The theme will be in honour of Norwegian Constitution Day, so please wear red, white and blue.
Poumuli, IKA Slit