Hash Trash 1520
The Hash was hosted by Bits & Pieces (Goer is still overseas) at their house on Bank Street in Vaoala. Ring Ring and Buzzer were the hares, and they had set a trail with many déjà vu moments all over again. We went down Bank Street and headed up a path into the woods, part of which had been used before. Poumuli led the way until some of the new girls took over with Pirate Princess in tow. As we slithered back onto Bank Street we ran into Godfather who had turned up in the nick of time but had shortcutted with Ring Ring. The trail continued down towards the cattle paddocks on familiar territory and into the valley belowm led again by Poumuli but soon overtaken by Hot Nuts and Cockblocker. The trail took a few new turns here, as we went through a bunch of gardens and back roads until we hit Bernard Street and then on up to Bank Street. A fairly hard run in the end, with some new pieces of trail, so well done to our hares.
Princess of Darkness had thankfully joined us as GM to save us from the vindictive SOTB, and she called forth the newcomers to Apia Hash. There were two young ladies from New York, Rachel and Gwen. Several rethreads were brought forward – Lewinsky, Crown of Thorns, Screamer, Slippery, Strangler, Mad Hatter, Walking Eagle, Nicole, Sonny and Zsa Zsa. Only Strangler had an amusing excuse, that Hash interfered with conjugal activities. The rest were boring but the GM gave them all a down down. Sonny had his hat on so he got another, and CB was brought in on name recognition. There were no new shoes, but the Shoe Inspector avoided his punishment somehow.
The GM had been informed that on this day in history the Brooklyn Bridge had opened (1883), so our three visiting New Yorkers took that award with notable speed. The GM then wanted to know who had brought the chicken franks, which had turned rather small and wrinkled on the grill. Ring Ring stepped forward to cries of “thats what she gets at home” from Eveready, who Ring Ring tried her best to hit with her beer. Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (letter to the Editor), Captain Mortein (practice makes perfect – ad had his phone number this time), Bits & Pieces (lost sail ad with misspelling) and Pirate Princess (for complaining). The GM also joined in for calling someone Henk.
A Fashion Award went to Zsa Zsa who had been spotted by the GM and Lewinsky wearing a shirt with long sleeves for a change. Sonny got the Fisherman Award from last week, with Lewinsky joining in the Drinking Not Fishing Award, claiming that his lines had been jinxed by COT. Lewinsky’s was made a double for not getting the names right. Eveready gave a Sneaky Award to Crash Bandicoot for having gone to On the Rocks with the GM, ostensibly to help her with the wages when he should have been bringing cocoa Samoa to Eveready. To compound this he had tricked Eveready into preparing a 3.30 breakfast so they could watch the Rugby 7’s in style, which he had to consume solo.
The GM gave an Advertising Award to Gwen for running with a shirt describing her as Really Really Ridiculously Good-looking. COT, who had not been back a few days in her week-long visit, only to be told by CB, SOTB and Crash that not only was her ex Kui Kui married, but expecting a child. The three accepted their Rubbing Salt in Wound Award, while SOTB stated that they were intending to beat Kui but he kept shouting them drinks. Slippery presented Sassygirl BJ with a bag called Sassy Pants from Oz. Zsa Zsa wanted to nominate Hot Nuts for some offence, but not only had Hot Nuts left, the nomination went beyond FBI standards, so a Sesquipedalian Award to Zsa Zsa (look it up).
Sassy nominated a special hasher for offering to rearrange the constitution of anyone trying to break in to her house, so a Hulk Hogan Award to SOTB. Eveready recalled how he had been called to a special Peace Corps fundraiser by Spanky, only to find Gwen, Lily and Rachel out of control on the dance floor. He wanted to award them for shaking him rigid and for arousing the natives. Screamer countered that the natives should join in for getting aroused, but the GM ruled that she should join for defending women’s rights. COT tried to give an award for a sign saying laptop dancing lessons, but it backfired. On the subject of signs the GM had spotted a sign about conserving water in B&P’s house, so he got the Taking Work Too Seriously Award.
Sassy recounted how she had been busy with the BBQ as a hasher came through the gate huffing and puffing, out of breath but all cocky. But he hadn’t even gone on the run, so a Faking It Award to Snake. SOTB nominated Poumuli for the prissy solar lights he had brought to Nusafee, but he pointed out that the lights had been installed by SOTB and CB. All three took the award. Latecummers Chilindrina and AC/DC showed up at that point and also joined in. Poumuli wanted to nominate SOTB for slacking with the posting of the blog, but SOTB used such abusive language in his right of reply that he took the award solo. But then he was joined by CB who got Poumuli’s name wrong. The Host and Hares were then saluted for a great run as we descended on the BYO food, brought by several people and of a great and tasty variety, especially the spicy chilli.
Next week’s run will be at Taumesina at Chez Lewinsky and POD.
Your Scribe will be away for a few weeks so would like to appeal for someone to do the scribing for the next 3 hashes.
Poumuli, IKA Slit