Our first 2010 Hash was once again kindly hosted by Lewinsky, POD , Happy Feet and Pro Boner out at Taumeasina.
It had been a really rainy day but by 5:30 it had cleared up and was a beautiful temperature for a nice long Hash run set on flour by SOTB and Lewinsky.
At twilight POD called the circle, her last as GM before she takes a few months off to have a mini-POD.
I counted 27 people in the circle, a decent size following the Christmas and New Year break.
The new boots were Cheena and Neeve from Wellington, brought along by Lewinsky. Wayne and Lisa from the Gold Coast claimed they’d also been brought along by Lewinsky. Our Hash recruitment officer was given a down down.
The retreads were Orgy Georgie, Adam, Chris and Karaoke. Orgy Georgie shot himself in the proverbial foot by claiming his reason for missing Hash was because he’d lost his shoes and had to get new ones. Adam had some lame excuse about living overseas. Chris said he’d missed approximately 1200 Hashes and hadn’t done a Hash Run for about 33 years.* Chris’s excuse was that he’d been busy manufacturing children. “Does your wife know?” POD quipped. A confused Karaoke thought she had been to Hash, and didn’t know why she was a retread.
Orgy Georgie was made to drink out of his shoe. He complained that his shoes weren’t new. Our tough GM retorted, “They’re new to Hash!”
New Year’s Eve was naturally a hotbed of Hash indiscretions. Tammy, Pro Boner and Schanell were all caught out.
Our girl Tammy was nominated for advertising at the Why Not bar for wearing a very sexy red dress.
Pro Boner was given the Hulk Hogan award. She has a predilection for picking people up and hugging them when she’s drunk. On New Year’s Eve Pro Boner picked up her brother Lewinsky at On the Rocks, only to end up On the Floor.**
Schanell was given the Mr Discrete or My Hypocrisy award for complaining about how small a place Samoa is and how you can’t do anything without anyone noticing. Later on he was witnessed very publicly pashing on with someone on the Why Not dance floor! Way to be discrete Schanell!
With Hot Nuts away, Karaoke nominated Tony Blair for the Squashed Nuts award. God, it’s embarrassing even recapping this award. Karaoke claimed Tony Blair had sat on her lap, “Hey, wait a minute!” Eveready interjected, and that she could feel his squashed nuts. POD claimed Karaoke then said “Come back and give me more!” Karaoke replied “I prefer my Samoan nuts!” Karaoke drank, and Eveready manfully finished the drink. “I need gas for tonight,” he said.
The Celebrity award went to Godfather for being nominated for Person of the Year in the Observer. Well done Godfather! In Godfather’s absence the down down was given to his closest relative... Kamikaze! Kamikaze and Godfather obviously have a strong physical resemblance due to their similar hairstyles. “Where’s Snake?” asked an incredulous Kamikaze.
Happy Feet had also been seen in the background on TV so dad Lewinsky was made to drink.
The nominations were opened to the floor. Sassy nominated Mr Whippy for being the only person to actually run in last week’s modest Hash.
Your scribe nominated Slippery for being inappropriately attired on Christmas Day at Samoana. After a night dive he stripped down to his Speedos and stood talking to one of my girlfriends for ages right in front of the main fale.
SOTB nominated Sassy and Little Lani for leaning on coconut trees. Both were served beer, which Lani looked concerned about but managed to down well despite presumably having quite a few years before reaching legal drinking age here.
Kiwi and Adam were given down downs for being attached to their cell phones.
Tammy nominated SOTB for a piker award for leaving Why Not at 9:30am after New Year’s Eve, claiming he was going to get food and come back, but never coming back. POD took it to a vote to determine if Tammy was being unreasonable for considering 9:30am New Year’s Day morning ‘piking’. Tammy was made to drink.**
Tammy nominated SOTB for a piker award for leaving the bar at 9:30am on New Year’s Day claiming he was just going to get something to eat and then come back, but he didn’t. POD took it to the floor to see if Tammy was being unreasonable for calling 9:30am after New Year’s Eve piking. Tammy was made to drink.***
In another award I’m a bit embarrassed to recap, Tony Blair claimed that one of the rules of Hash is that you don’t eat until after the circle is finished, but Pirate Princess had been feeding her daughter. Tony Blair wanted dad, Captain Mortein, to drink. Tony Blair was made to join him for “being a perve”. Pirate Princess cleverly retorted, “Do you want some susu as well?”
In yet another award I’m embarrassed to recap, Eveready said he’d been swimming with a Hash Mary who’d forgotten her bikini and had to swim in a lava lava. A big wave went over, and Eveready wondered why Selena was staring at him, only to realise it was her nipples staring at him! He wished to nominate Selena for the Full Monty award. POD pulled him up on the fact that this event occurred around the time of the Christmas Hash, which was at least three weeks ago. Eveready retorted, “You think I can forget it? It’s burned into my memory!” Eveready was made to drink for not letting go of the past.
Eveready than nominated Tammy for making her car overheat, perhaps due to that sexy red dress she was wearing? Taking right of reply, Tammy said it was a car that she’d had sent over from New Zealand that had overheated, not the one she was driving while wearing that dress.
Sassy nominated SOTB and Adam for guilting her into coming to Hash, when her New Year’s Resolution is to be healthy and not drink too much. Taking the right of reply, SOTB made a long rant about how he said he was going to Hash to have a chat to and say goodbye to Adam, who leaves soon, but he didn’t ask Sassy to come. Adam said he didn’t want to drink because he had to leave and go to dinner with his grandma who has trouble understanding him at the best of times, let alone while he is slurring. Lewinsky said, “Is that all you’ve got?” Sassy drank.
Adam then nominated Wayne for having had a three hour massage earlier that day then complaining that his legs felt a bit tight after the run. Wayne drank.
Tony Blair nominated Slippery, our resident Hash Flash, for bringing his underwater camera with him. Slippery replied, “I thought it was going to rain!” Rather hilariously, as Slippery drank, Mr Whippy was given the camera to take photos, but ended up having it around the wrong way and took photos of himself!
Tony Blair than nominated Kamikaze for claiming to have ten children, but no wife. Kamikaze admitted that he doesn’t have any kids. POD gave Kamikaze a down down for advertising but lying.
SOTB nominated Chris for claiming to have missed Hash for 33 years, when it’s only been going for 25 for so. Chris pointed out that Hash has actually been going for far longer than 33 years, having started in Kuala Lumpur, Malaya (now Malaysia) in 1938: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers SOTB drank.
Being PODs farewell as GM, she passed her farewell down down to your scribe-cum-whipping Mary, yours truly. Having not had any down downs all evening, I was given a double. The glasses were big, the beer ice cold. And I Crashed. And. Burned. I don’t know what happened, but I struggled from the start and had to pass my second glass to SOTB to finish. I have never required a whipping boy before. I appear to have lost my sculling mojo and am more than a little freaked out about it. Tune in next week to see if this is a temporary blip in my drinking career or something more serious.
Captain Mortein then nominated the GM herself for dangerous driving. Heckled by the circle for the poor form of nominating our heavily pregnant GM, Mortein is made to drink himself.
The circle is closed, On On is called, the Hashers dig in to Eveready’s stellar spicy eggplant curry, and start gearing up for the 1500th run, which will now occur in a few weeks’ time when everyone is back and things are organised.
On On!
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
* That doesn’t add up. If there’s 52 Hashes a year, and he’d missed 33 years of Hash, that should be about 1700 runs.
**Your scribe also saw Pro Boner at Why Not on New Year’s Eve at about 3am and received a Hulk Hogan hug. When I asked what she’d been up to that night, she said she was too drunk to answer!
***Tammy confided to your scribe that her New Year’s Eve continued right through to 1pm New Year’s Day, ending up at Myna’s in that sexy red dress.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
More Hash Photos Posted!
Be sure to check out the latest Hash Photo albums:
Many thanks to Slippery for all the great photos. And thanks to Team Desirable for the Perimeter Relay photos. Down down to Mr. Whippy for waiting over a month before posting Slippery's Hash 1492 & 1494 photos!
Many thanks to Slippery for all the great photos. And thanks to Team Desirable for the Perimeter Relay photos. Down down to Mr. Whippy for waiting over a month before posting Slippery's Hash 1492 & 1494 photos!
Friday, January 08, 2010
Hash Run 1499A - Tony Blair and Selena's @ Tuaefu
Hash Run 1499ATony Blair and Selena have kindly offered their home next week for our 1499A Run. It is supposed to be our 1500th Run but Mismanagement has postponed it until we can figure out how we want to celebrate this momentous occasion.
Tony Blair and Selena have requested that everyone wear a mask and celebrate an early Mardi Gras! Bring some beads too :)
Please note that this is a BYO Food Run, so bring something to throw on the BBQ or something pre-cooked and hash will provide the drinks. Bring some swimmers and a change of clothes if you fancy a dip in the pool after the run.
Run starts at 1730 HRS
On On
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
1500th Run
Talofa...
Next week will be our 1500th Run. If you have any ideas, please post comments at the end of this message. Mismanagement is still trying to decide what to do for this momentous occasion. All ideas are welcomed.
On On
Monday, January 04, 2010
Hash Run 4/1/10
Morning,
Today's run will be hosted by Lewinsky, POD, Happy feet and Pro Boner at Taumeasina. Please note that this will be a BYO Food Run and hash will provide the keg as per the norm. The BBQ will be there so bring something to throw on the BBQ and get wet in the rain.
On On
Today's run will be hosted by Lewinsky, POD, Happy feet and Pro Boner at Taumeasina. Please note that this will be a BYO Food Run and hash will provide the keg as per the norm. The BBQ will be there so bring something to throw on the BBQ and get wet in the rain.
On On
Monday, December 28, 2009
End of Year Hash Run
Mahalo to you all. Hope you all had a great Xmas weekend. As there are no hosts for today, the run will be a BYO End of year Run at the STA Fale in town. Run starts normal time at 1730hrs.
OnOn
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Hash Party Later Saturday
After Shafter's unveiling in Vailele followed by some of his favorite ice cold drafts at headquarter's (See the announcement and map below), take a break, hose down, then come out to the Tropicana nightclub at 8 PM and dance. Join your hash mates for some cold drinks, fun dancing, and great company.
On On!
On On!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Shafters Gravestone Unveiling- Saturday 20th December 2009
Talofa AHHH,
This coming Saturday, 20th December 2009 will be Shafter's Gravestone Unveiling at 4pm. This will be done up at the grave site and it would be great to see you all there. This will be followed by a few drinks at HQ at approx 5pm onwards.
Also, Flo is asking if anyone has access to a tent that we could use on the day. If you have a small tent/marquee, please contact Flo on 7268765. It would be much appreciated. If Ive missed anything out, please contact Flo or POD for more details.
Map is below.
On On
This coming Saturday, 20th December 2009 will be Shafter's Gravestone Unveiling at 4pm. This will be done up at the grave site and it would be great to see you all there. This will be followed by a few drinks at HQ at approx 5pm onwards.
Also, Flo is asking if anyone has access to a tent that we could use on the day. If you have a small tent/marquee, please contact Flo on 7268765. It would be much appreciated. If Ive missed anything out, please contact Flo or POD for more details.
Map is below.
On On
Hash Trash- Run 1495
Hash Trash 1495
Being a creature of the night, your scribe rarely manages to make it to Hash on time. Yet somehow this week I managed to turn up early, only to be greeted by a shirtless Hot Nuts encouraging all and sundry to do stretches, which he then demonstrated. Note to self: turn up at the usual 5:35pm next week.
Hosted by POD, Lewinsky, Happy Feet and Pro Boner, Taumeasina is always a good venue for Hash, and a reasonable pack of about twenty five Hashers did the run. Many more turned up for the circle and BBQ only. Sure it’s near Christmas, but that’s no excuse! It’s all the more reason to exercise before all the drinking and debauchery. Down downs for all those who don’t do the run next time GM?
After the run I enjoyed a swim at twilight with cousin-of-vampire Mele, and must thank the lovely Zsa Zsa for bringing us beer while we swam.
The circle, led by GM POD, was raucous and rowdy.
New boots were Tamlyn, a volunteer whose been in Samoa for nine months doing permaculture (‘Is that like a hairdresser?’ SOTB quipped), and three girls on holiday from New Zealand, all brought along by SOTB. It was not clear if these were new girls or part of the ten that earned him last week’s slut award.
Retreads were Delicious, Lezzie, Flash, Emmy and JC.
As there were no new boots, AC/DC took a down down. He was fast, even by my standards!
Incredibly enough, your Lesbian Vampire Killer took out the celebrity award for the second week in a row for having a picture in the paper. Poumuli, come back! I’m not used to this attention. I dragged in Tamlyn for having been in the same picture, giving Tam her first, and perhaps only, down down.
Reaching new lows for the Hash House Harriers, Vai Vai once again lashed out at a fellow Hash man. Last week it was throwing stones at a Hash man, this week it was dirt. What’s next Vai Vai? Let him without sin cast the first stone, etc, etc.
One of the Hash Marys, Emmy, had celebrated a birthday in the last week, and made the mistake of trying to keep up the pace set by JC, a seasoned drinker. Cue to Emmy throwing up, with JC rubbing her back in support. Emmy’s boyfriend Flash comes along... and rubs JC’s back! Down downs for all three.
The GM asked if any Hashers had ever been asked by SOTB if they’d like a drink. No one could remember such a momentous occasion occurring. Yet there he was, asking his female guests if they would like drinks. A large down down was awarded to SOTB for ‘playing waitress to the ladies’.
For neglect in the line of duty, Lewinsky was given a down down for a situation where a patron of headquarters was hit in the head by a flying beer bottle.
Slippery awarded Mr Whippy a t-shirt from the boutique retail outlet that is Mr Lava Lava which said ‘Beer Delivery Guy’. He awarded your scribe an extra large men’s t-shit from the same boutique announcing me as a ‘Chuggin’ Monkey’. I think I prefer being a vampire to a monkey. Find me a vampire t-shirt in a ladies size 12 Slippery! Down downs for all three.
Sassy gave Vai Vai and Slippery down downs for being inappropriate on the run and discussing her virginity! One Hash man told her how to become a virgin again, while the other offered to ‘test out her virginity’.
SOTB awarded Ray Charles the dangerous driving award for driving some Hash men home from Le Manumea in the wee hours of Friday morning on the wrong side of the road. Taking the right of reply, Ray Charles said, ‘they made me do it!’ Lewinsky retorted that Ray Charles never leaves his red pick up anywhere but at home or at work. Case closed.
AC/DC was given an award for failing his ethics exam at work – allegedly the pass rate was 80%, while AC got 20%. He re-sat the exam, and somehow passed. Sassy asked ‘Who did you copy off?’ Madam GM retorted, ‘Not you!’
SOTB tried to accuse Sassy of leading him astray from his efforts to lose weight by suggesting fatty curry for lunch. This backfired and SOTB was made to drink.
AC/DC awarded FBI an award for ‘the only idiot who looks like he’s in the sun’ for wearing sunglasses. FBI challenged AC/DC as ‘a guy who’s passed his ethics exam yet calls people idiots’. FBI refused to remove his sunnies on the first down down and was made to keep drinking until he did.
Sassy gave Lezzie a down down for being irresponsible and not booking a meeting room.
Flash gave Delicious an award for failing to deliver a keg which she drank at her usual fast speed. Sensational, as Lewinsky would say.
SOTB gave Crash a down down for hiding last week and avoiding his down downs.
To wrap up the circle, the hares Sassy and SOTB and hosts Lewinsky and Pro Boner drank.
Our beloved Godfather was sad to announce that for the first time in Apia Hash history, he will not be able to attend the Christmas run. He was given a down down while AC/DC played maestro and a few carols were sung after the circle.
Post circle our hosts put on a delicious feed and Slippery managed to terrorise even our youngest Hash Marys – Happy Feet and Annalisa – by taking 380 photos during the night. A new personal record apparently.
This week’s run is the Christmas Run. Dress up in your finest Christmas costume, bring salads, pupu (nibbles) and if you’d like to help out, turn up at the Snake Pit from 3pm Monday.
Being a creature of the night, your scribe rarely manages to make it to Hash on time. Yet somehow this week I managed to turn up early, only to be greeted by a shirtless Hot Nuts encouraging all and sundry to do stretches, which he then demonstrated. Note to self: turn up at the usual 5:35pm next week.
Hosted by POD, Lewinsky, Happy Feet and Pro Boner, Taumeasina is always a good venue for Hash, and a reasonable pack of about twenty five Hashers did the run. Many more turned up for the circle and BBQ only. Sure it’s near Christmas, but that’s no excuse! It’s all the more reason to exercise before all the drinking and debauchery. Down downs for all those who don’t do the run next time GM?
After the run I enjoyed a swim at twilight with cousin-of-vampire Mele, and must thank the lovely Zsa Zsa for bringing us beer while we swam.
The circle, led by GM POD, was raucous and rowdy.
New boots were Tamlyn, a volunteer whose been in Samoa for nine months doing permaculture (‘Is that like a hairdresser?’ SOTB quipped), and three girls on holiday from New Zealand, all brought along by SOTB. It was not clear if these were new girls or part of the ten that earned him last week’s slut award.
Retreads were Delicious, Lezzie, Flash, Emmy and JC.
As there were no new boots, AC/DC took a down down. He was fast, even by my standards!
Incredibly enough, your Lesbian Vampire Killer took out the celebrity award for the second week in a row for having a picture in the paper. Poumuli, come back! I’m not used to this attention. I dragged in Tamlyn for having been in the same picture, giving Tam her first, and perhaps only, down down.
Reaching new lows for the Hash House Harriers, Vai Vai once again lashed out at a fellow Hash man. Last week it was throwing stones at a Hash man, this week it was dirt. What’s next Vai Vai? Let him without sin cast the first stone, etc, etc.
One of the Hash Marys, Emmy, had celebrated a birthday in the last week, and made the mistake of trying to keep up the pace set by JC, a seasoned drinker. Cue to Emmy throwing up, with JC rubbing her back in support. Emmy’s boyfriend Flash comes along... and rubs JC’s back! Down downs for all three.
The GM asked if any Hashers had ever been asked by SOTB if they’d like a drink. No one could remember such a momentous occasion occurring. Yet there he was, asking his female guests if they would like drinks. A large down down was awarded to SOTB for ‘playing waitress to the ladies’.
For neglect in the line of duty, Lewinsky was given a down down for a situation where a patron of headquarters was hit in the head by a flying beer bottle.
Slippery awarded Mr Whippy a t-shirt from the boutique retail outlet that is Mr Lava Lava which said ‘Beer Delivery Guy’. He awarded your scribe an extra large men’s t-shit from the same boutique announcing me as a ‘Chuggin’ Monkey’. I think I prefer being a vampire to a monkey. Find me a vampire t-shirt in a ladies size 12 Slippery! Down downs for all three.
Sassy gave Vai Vai and Slippery down downs for being inappropriate on the run and discussing her virginity! One Hash man told her how to become a virgin again, while the other offered to ‘test out her virginity’.
SOTB awarded Ray Charles the dangerous driving award for driving some Hash men home from Le Manumea in the wee hours of Friday morning on the wrong side of the road. Taking the right of reply, Ray Charles said, ‘they made me do it!’ Lewinsky retorted that Ray Charles never leaves his red pick up anywhere but at home or at work. Case closed.
AC/DC was given an award for failing his ethics exam at work – allegedly the pass rate was 80%, while AC got 20%. He re-sat the exam, and somehow passed. Sassy asked ‘Who did you copy off?’ Madam GM retorted, ‘Not you!’
SOTB tried to accuse Sassy of leading him astray from his efforts to lose weight by suggesting fatty curry for lunch. This backfired and SOTB was made to drink.
AC/DC awarded FBI an award for ‘the only idiot who looks like he’s in the sun’ for wearing sunglasses. FBI challenged AC/DC as ‘a guy who’s passed his ethics exam yet calls people idiots’. FBI refused to remove his sunnies on the first down down and was made to keep drinking until he did.
Sassy gave Lezzie a down down for being irresponsible and not booking a meeting room.
Flash gave Delicious an award for failing to deliver a keg which she drank at her usual fast speed. Sensational, as Lewinsky would say.
SOTB gave Crash a down down for hiding last week and avoiding his down downs.
To wrap up the circle, the hares Sassy and SOTB and hosts Lewinsky and Pro Boner drank.
Our beloved Godfather was sad to announce that for the first time in Apia Hash history, he will not be able to attend the Christmas run. He was given a down down while AC/DC played maestro and a few carols were sung after the circle.
Post circle our hosts put on a delicious feed and Slippery managed to terrorise even our youngest Hash Marys – Happy Feet and Annalisa – by taking 380 photos during the night. A new personal record apparently.
This week’s run is the Christmas Run. Dress up in your finest Christmas costume, bring salads, pupu (nibbles) and if you’d like to help out, turn up at the Snake Pit from 3pm Monday.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Hash Christmas Run- 1496 @ The Snake Pit
Ho Ho Ho...Next weeks run will be the Hash Xmas run at the Snake Pit. Dress up in your best X-mas Gear and as per the norm, we will be doing our visits (Pub Crawl) to a few other establishments around the town area, singing a few Christmas Carols and having a few beverages.
Hash will be providing the meats for the BBQ/Dinner, and if the Hasher's could bring something to accompany the Meats, be it a Salad, or something else, that would be much appreciated. (much like the Thanks Giving Run)
GM has also advised that its best to take a taxi on this night or car pool with a sober driver as we have a SPECIAL BREW on Monday! Snake will provide transport for all others that come by taxi on the night...except for those who live out by the airport...You have been warned..hehe
Map is below if you don't know where the Snake Pit is. See you there!
On On
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
A little something from Poumuli
Heres a little note from Poumuli. Happy Reading..looks like he wont be back for some time!
I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your a$$ cheeks WILL fall off. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbours as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty titbits. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally?
Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake. Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down , if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left.
Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.' That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls.
The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store..
I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your a$$ cheeks WILL fall off. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbours as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty titbits. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally?
Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake. Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down , if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left.
Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.' That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls.
The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store..
Friday, December 04, 2009
Hash Run 1495 - Lewinsky, POD, Happy Feet, & Probona
G'day to you all. Next weeks run will be hosted by Lewinsky, Probona, Princess of Darkness, and Happy feet at their home in Taumeasina. Head out towards Moataa and turn into the Taumeasina Reserve and head over to their house. Bring a change of clothes if you fancy a dip in the ocean after the run. You may already be wet from the run so bring some dry clothes. Run starts normal time: 1730 hrs.
On On.
Late note: Saw Lewinski Sunday morning. Said, "Bring some togs and a smile." Later adding, "...grumpy people can stay home!" :) It should be another fantastic Hash.
On On.
Late note: Saw Lewinski Sunday morning. Said, "Bring some togs and a smile." Later adding, "...grumpy people can stay home!" :) It should be another fantastic Hash.
Hash Trash - Run 1494
As your trusty scribe Poumuli is away, he has passed over his taser quill to Lesbian Vampire Killer, who is honoured to take on the role of sub-assistant-vice-trainee-scribe in his absence.
Hosted by Tony Blair and Selena at Tuaefu, and attended by a pack of close to forty, the trail was notable for a huge amount of dogs and a trail no one managed to find successfully. Hailing as I do from Transylvania (or is it Lesbos?) your scribe enjoyed the slightly cooler weather and bit of rain that occurred during the run.
GM for the night was initially POD, and later SOTB.
Newbies were Nat and Matt from Australia, brought along by Sassy Girl and here for a bit of business, a bit of a holiday; Karen from Queensland who is visiting Ros; Mele from New York who has just moved to Samoa; and Emmanuel from Bolivia, who is here to visit his family and get married.
The retreads were Long Dong Silver, Pro Boner and Cocaine. Cocaine announced she was here to have a holiday and get married. Eveready questioned Cocaine as to why she has two kids already and is only getting married now.
Retread Anton was pulled up for not declaring himself as a retread and made to drink.
There were no new shoes.
Hare Cocaine declared that everyone shortcutted on the run. Rather than having a mass down down and a prematurely ended Hash circle, leaders of the pack Hot Nuts, Swinger and Larry were made to drink.
Cocaine and Ring Ring were dobbed in by Madam GM for breaking the first rule of trail setting – don’t double up on the trail. Ring Ring tried and failed to deny the accusation.
Luke and Zsa Zsa were then accused of breaking another rule of Hash – don’t swim in Tony Blair and Selena’s pool before the circle. Zsa Zsa replied “It was a very nice swim. I was swimming doggy style!”
The lovely Pirate Princess was nominated by the GM for a 21st birthday award, which occurs on the 1st of December. Lewinsky presented her with a beer and declared her “finally legal”.
The celebrity award went to myself, a double for being in the newspaper and on TV. As Poumuli gets this award pretty much every week, while I never do, your scribe is now slightly concerned that in taking on Poumuli’s role as scribe she is slowly taking on the characteristics of Poumuli. Don’t be surprised to see me speaking Norwegian and tasering puppies at next week’s run.
The Christmas party season has begun, surely a breeding ground for down-down worthy incidents.
The One the Rocks Christmas Party had been held on the weekend and Crash was given the living-up-to-your-Hash-name award for crashing a car. In Crash’s absence, Pro Boner and Lewinsky were made to drink.
Your scribe was nominated by Zsa Zsa for attending the movie star themed SPREP Christmas Party yet not dressing up as a Lesbian Vampire Killer. I responded that with such that hash name it is hard to know exactly what to dress up as. Vampire? Lesbian? Killer Lesbian? By vote, Zsa Zsa was made to drink, but ended up passing half of it the whipping girl with the notebook anyway.
Sassy gave Mr Whippy a down down for having a matai title yet not being able to crack a nut. Tony Blair then accused Mr Whippy of drinking with the pumpkin hat on, but this backfired as apparently the pumpkin hat can be worn during the circle. “Rule 69E” according to Lewinsky.
Your Lesbian Vampire Killer then invited her cousin Mele to partake in her first down down, to see if fast skolling runs in the blood (pun intended). Turns out it does! Yours truly was made to drink as well.
Larry gave Bits and Pieces the Whinging Dutchman award for turning up late to Hash, not doing the run, and not singing the Hash song.
A knife-wielding Eveready nominated Tony Blair for asking him to do some work for him on a Sunday, which Eveready then completed, only for Tony Blair to say they didn’t need it anymore. Tony Blair declared him a knife-wielding maniac and Tony Blair, Selena and Eveready were all made to drink.
Sassy gave the slut award to SOTB, who started off in Savaii with five girls and ended up with ten.
Tony Blair gave Zsa Zsa an award after he found a sugar packet out at Stevenson’s with a quote from Zsa Zsa Gabor herself: “I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced I keep the house.” Zsa Zsa drank, accompanied by Pro Boner and Lewinsky. Zsa Zsa amazed everyone, most of all himself, by finishing his drink first.
Swinger gave Larry an award for throwing rocks at other Hash men.
Ros noted that it was the Slapper’s 13th birthday, and that in her absence her closest relative, the Mad Hatter, should drink. Mad Hatter sneakily evaded this award, leaving Ros to drink, accompanied by Lewinsky for trying to take over as GM.
Eveready noted that for the first time in Hash history, people turned up with ready-made Hash names - Matt and Nat. “So let’s see if they’re Hash material,” he said. Nat showed she is certainly Hash Mary material, by finishing her drink first. Matt was made to drink again for practice.
Tony Blair was made to wear the pumpkin hat for falsely accusing Mr Whippy. Under torchlight interrogation from the GM, it was exposed that while Tony Blair’s top matched the hat, he was in fact wearing the hat around the wrong way. Epic fail from Tony Blair.
The monkette then announced that “the monk is here” and the monk arrived to dish out a large round of initiations into the cult that is the Apia hash.
The monk had heard Larry had been causing problems and chaos with the water people, and also that he loves Vailima. Hence he was christened Vai Vai. Vai for water, and Vai for Vailima.
The monk had heard that Emmanuelle was famous, a genius, and addicted to Cocaine. He was named Maradona.
Mandy was named Chook because she loves shopping and gets up to mischief while doing it. The Monk was particularly harsh on chook, cracking eggs on her head that Chook later noted “felt like they were hard boiled”.
Next up was the “beautiful young man Noel” who loves to mediate. He was named Yogi Bear.
Yogi Bear’s brother Gabriel was next, named the Sundance Kid.
The Monk than announced she was off to find her reindeer, and promptly departed into the night.
AC/DC had turned up by this time and was given a latecomer award.
Crash was given another award, this time from Eveready, for failing to produce fish for the Toonai. After some discussion, Lewinsky was left holding the down down.
Hot Nuts berated Swinger for having no sense of adventure after deciding not to go on a waterfall walk because it was raining. They ended up having coffee at a beach resort instead. Swinger declared it was Hot Nuts who didn’t want to walk in the rain. The GM justifiably awarded both men the Mangina award.
In something your scribe had never seen in her time at Hash, Zsa Zsa dobbed himself in for a down down. He had been driving Dawn Raid and Poumuli to the airport in the rain and they had hit their heads on the roof when Zsa Zsa went over a speed hump. Wear your seatbelts next time boys!
To wrap up, hares Ring Ring and Cocaine, hosts Tony Blair, Selena and Maradona all drank.
Next week’s run will be hosted by POD and Lewinsky at Taumasina.
On On,
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
Hosted by Tony Blair and Selena at Tuaefu, and attended by a pack of close to forty, the trail was notable for a huge amount of dogs and a trail no one managed to find successfully. Hailing as I do from Transylvania (or is it Lesbos?) your scribe enjoyed the slightly cooler weather and bit of rain that occurred during the run.
GM for the night was initially POD, and later SOTB.
Newbies were Nat and Matt from Australia, brought along by Sassy Girl and here for a bit of business, a bit of a holiday; Karen from Queensland who is visiting Ros; Mele from New York who has just moved to Samoa; and Emmanuel from Bolivia, who is here to visit his family and get married.
The retreads were Long Dong Silver, Pro Boner and Cocaine. Cocaine announced she was here to have a holiday and get married. Eveready questioned Cocaine as to why she has two kids already and is only getting married now.
Retread Anton was pulled up for not declaring himself as a retread and made to drink.
There were no new shoes.
Hare Cocaine declared that everyone shortcutted on the run. Rather than having a mass down down and a prematurely ended Hash circle, leaders of the pack Hot Nuts, Swinger and Larry were made to drink.
Cocaine and Ring Ring were dobbed in by Madam GM for breaking the first rule of trail setting – don’t double up on the trail. Ring Ring tried and failed to deny the accusation.
Luke and Zsa Zsa were then accused of breaking another rule of Hash – don’t swim in Tony Blair and Selena’s pool before the circle. Zsa Zsa replied “It was a very nice swim. I was swimming doggy style!”
The lovely Pirate Princess was nominated by the GM for a 21st birthday award, which occurs on the 1st of December. Lewinsky presented her with a beer and declared her “finally legal”.
The celebrity award went to myself, a double for being in the newspaper and on TV. As Poumuli gets this award pretty much every week, while I never do, your scribe is now slightly concerned that in taking on Poumuli’s role as scribe she is slowly taking on the characteristics of Poumuli. Don’t be surprised to see me speaking Norwegian and tasering puppies at next week’s run.
The Christmas party season has begun, surely a breeding ground for down-down worthy incidents.
The One the Rocks Christmas Party had been held on the weekend and Crash was given the living-up-to-your-Hash-name award for crashing a car. In Crash’s absence, Pro Boner and Lewinsky were made to drink.
Your scribe was nominated by Zsa Zsa for attending the movie star themed SPREP Christmas Party yet not dressing up as a Lesbian Vampire Killer. I responded that with such that hash name it is hard to know exactly what to dress up as. Vampire? Lesbian? Killer Lesbian? By vote, Zsa Zsa was made to drink, but ended up passing half of it the whipping girl with the notebook anyway.
Sassy gave Mr Whippy a down down for having a matai title yet not being able to crack a nut. Tony Blair then accused Mr Whippy of drinking with the pumpkin hat on, but this backfired as apparently the pumpkin hat can be worn during the circle. “Rule 69E” according to Lewinsky.
Your Lesbian Vampire Killer then invited her cousin Mele to partake in her first down down, to see if fast skolling runs in the blood (pun intended). Turns out it does! Yours truly was made to drink as well.
Larry gave Bits and Pieces the Whinging Dutchman award for turning up late to Hash, not doing the run, and not singing the Hash song.
A knife-wielding Eveready nominated Tony Blair for asking him to do some work for him on a Sunday, which Eveready then completed, only for Tony Blair to say they didn’t need it anymore. Tony Blair declared him a knife-wielding maniac and Tony Blair, Selena and Eveready were all made to drink.
Sassy gave the slut award to SOTB, who started off in Savaii with five girls and ended up with ten.
Tony Blair gave Zsa Zsa an award after he found a sugar packet out at Stevenson’s with a quote from Zsa Zsa Gabor herself: “I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced I keep the house.” Zsa Zsa drank, accompanied by Pro Boner and Lewinsky. Zsa Zsa amazed everyone, most of all himself, by finishing his drink first.
Swinger gave Larry an award for throwing rocks at other Hash men.
Ros noted that it was the Slapper’s 13th birthday, and that in her absence her closest relative, the Mad Hatter, should drink. Mad Hatter sneakily evaded this award, leaving Ros to drink, accompanied by Lewinsky for trying to take over as GM.
Eveready noted that for the first time in Hash history, people turned up with ready-made Hash names - Matt and Nat. “So let’s see if they’re Hash material,” he said. Nat showed she is certainly Hash Mary material, by finishing her drink first. Matt was made to drink again for practice.
Tony Blair was made to wear the pumpkin hat for falsely accusing Mr Whippy. Under torchlight interrogation from the GM, it was exposed that while Tony Blair’s top matched the hat, he was in fact wearing the hat around the wrong way. Epic fail from Tony Blair.
The monkette then announced that “the monk is here” and the monk arrived to dish out a large round of initiations into the cult that is the Apia hash.
The monk had heard Larry had been causing problems and chaos with the water people, and also that he loves Vailima. Hence he was christened Vai Vai. Vai for water, and Vai for Vailima.
The monk had heard that Emmanuelle was famous, a genius, and addicted to Cocaine. He was named Maradona.
Mandy was named Chook because she loves shopping and gets up to mischief while doing it. The Monk was particularly harsh on chook, cracking eggs on her head that Chook later noted “felt like they were hard boiled”.
Next up was the “beautiful young man Noel” who loves to mediate. He was named Yogi Bear.
Yogi Bear’s brother Gabriel was next, named the Sundance Kid.
The Monk than announced she was off to find her reindeer, and promptly departed into the night.
AC/DC had turned up by this time and was given a latecomer award.
Crash was given another award, this time from Eveready, for failing to produce fish for the Toonai. After some discussion, Lewinsky was left holding the down down.
Hot Nuts berated Swinger for having no sense of adventure after deciding not to go on a waterfall walk because it was raining. They ended up having coffee at a beach resort instead. Swinger declared it was Hot Nuts who didn’t want to walk in the rain. The GM justifiably awarded both men the Mangina award.
In something your scribe had never seen in her time at Hash, Zsa Zsa dobbed himself in for a down down. He had been driving Dawn Raid and Poumuli to the airport in the rain and they had hit their heads on the roof when Zsa Zsa went over a speed hump. Wear your seatbelts next time boys!
To wrap up, hares Ring Ring and Cocaine, hosts Tony Blair, Selena and Maradona all drank.
Next week’s run will be hosted by POD and Lewinsky at Taumasina.
On On,
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Hash Run 1494 - Mon 30 Nov 2009
Hi everyone, tonight's run will be hosted by Cocaine, Tony Blair, and Selena at their home in Tuaefu. For you newbees, this is a great location, that often times includes a nice run through the bush at Papase'ea. Even more, there's a pool. So bring a suit.
On On!
On On!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Hash Trash - Run 1493
The hash was hosted by Mr and Mrs Whippy and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior in Lotopa. It was a nice sunny afternoon as the large pack set out down the Lotopa streets, finding three false trails right off the bat. It got a bit confusing seeing Karaoke actually leading the pack twice. The trail however was delightfully flat and the dog population warned off by the arrival of Tasers in the country. We finished off turning around the LDS Temple and then on-home to the Whippy compound.
Princess of Darkness returned as GM and got the circle organized. There were two newcomers to Hash – Alicia and Luke –both from NZ, and neither had been told of the names rule, so Hot Nuts and Zsa Zsa got the Rules on Names Award. Zsa Zsa as usual made it a lengthy one. Rethreads were David (who ran in the Hash in 1992) and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior, who both also violated the names rules, earning Mr Whippy a double. There were no new shoes, so AC/DC took that award, only to get a second one for wearing sunglasses.
FBI showed up late, and was excused from taking his Latecomer Award in Vailima, but Lewinsky had poured vodka in his Sprite anyway, so it was heavy going.
The GM repeated the Animal Cruelty Award to Poumuli for his enthusiastic use of the new Taser – for clarification – it was not a puppy, but a grown dog. It was the big cup, too.
Crash Bandicoot received the Messing Up 1st Major Job Award for not putting appropriate openings on a Minister’s car seats. The Smuggling Award had to go to Tony Blair and Selena for trying to take endangered species to Europe.
The GM described the scene as one of the Hashers rushed back to base to get at the beer, so Vailimaholic Award went to Larry. Poumuli sought approval for a new Pumpkin Award to any Hasher that leaves Hash early for no convincing reason. The first winner was Mr Whippy who will now wear the Pumpkin Hat until he can dob it off on someone else.
Crash Bandicoot described what could either be Hashmanlike Conduct or Deceit, but Lewinsky had snuck out saying he was fixing a cappuccino machine and instead went fishing in Savaii.
Captain Mortein described the wreckless driving of a hash mere, but the story got a bit confused as to cause and effect, so he joined Screamer in the award.
Tony Blair suggested that Poumuli should get a Ignorance of History Award, as today was Pearl Harbour Day, but Kamikaze seemed an obvious target instead. However, Eveready came forward with the fact check that the date in question was 7 December, to which Tony Blair countered that it was Eveready who had told him the story! Both took the award.
BB noted that last week’s hash had been an important one, and that several hashers had abandoned hash in favour of going to the SPREP opening function – Swinger, Hot Nuts, Tammi and Screamer.
Tammi nominated a new hasher for the Line Jumping the Hash Cash Award, but she got the name wrong so she joined “Bwyan” or David.
Strangler nominated Mr Whippy for the Pollution Award for taking us through several areas with congested traffic. There followed some lighthearted and frankly disgusting discussion of Zsa Zsa’s bike, in particular the upturned front and the ballspace. In the end Eveready, Zsa Zsa, Snake and later on Chilindrina for Sympathy Award. AC/DC and FBI were spotted holding up a brand new house – Leaning Award.
Eveready had spotted BB coming late and drove part of the trail, so a Partial Chariot Riding Award was handed out. Meanwhile Tony Blair nominated Lewinsky for ruining the family nature of hash for various horrible acts including feeding Happy Feet beer, so he got a Pour Parenting Award.
AC/DC nominated Dawn Raid for not living up to his Hash name by not overstaying and rather leaving. BB had given a Hasher a ride in her car, who had promptly left his shoes behind and giving Swinger cause for grief, so AC/DC stepped up for a Getting Hash Mere Into Trouble Award. Eveready nominated Tony Blair for getting drinks at HQ1 and not paying for them. A more solemn moment came as Mr Whippy explained the meaning and nature of Thanksgiving, a time for getting together and sharing of the harvest, which was what Hash was all about as well. This was then ruined by Captain Mortein’s comment about whether Thanksgiving happened before or after the Indians were slaughtered.
The Hosts and the Hare received warm accolades from the Hash, and Godfather blessed our partaking of the heavenly bounty that was laid out for us to enjoy.
Your Scribe will be off again, but back on 25th of January.
On On,
Poumuli.
Princess of Darkness returned as GM and got the circle organized. There were two newcomers to Hash – Alicia and Luke –both from NZ, and neither had been told of the names rule, so Hot Nuts and Zsa Zsa got the Rules on Names Award. Zsa Zsa as usual made it a lengthy one. Rethreads were David (who ran in the Hash in 1992) and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior, who both also violated the names rules, earning Mr Whippy a double. There were no new shoes, so AC/DC took that award, only to get a second one for wearing sunglasses.
FBI showed up late, and was excused from taking his Latecomer Award in Vailima, but Lewinsky had poured vodka in his Sprite anyway, so it was heavy going.
The GM repeated the Animal Cruelty Award to Poumuli for his enthusiastic use of the new Taser – for clarification – it was not a puppy, but a grown dog. It was the big cup, too.
Crash Bandicoot received the Messing Up 1st Major Job Award for not putting appropriate openings on a Minister’s car seats. The Smuggling Award had to go to Tony Blair and Selena for trying to take endangered species to Europe.
The GM described the scene as one of the Hashers rushed back to base to get at the beer, so Vailimaholic Award went to Larry. Poumuli sought approval for a new Pumpkin Award to any Hasher that leaves Hash early for no convincing reason. The first winner was Mr Whippy who will now wear the Pumpkin Hat until he can dob it off on someone else.
Crash Bandicoot described what could either be Hashmanlike Conduct or Deceit, but Lewinsky had snuck out saying he was fixing a cappuccino machine and instead went fishing in Savaii.
Captain Mortein described the wreckless driving of a hash mere, but the story got a bit confused as to cause and effect, so he joined Screamer in the award.
Tony Blair suggested that Poumuli should get a Ignorance of History Award, as today was Pearl Harbour Day, but Kamikaze seemed an obvious target instead. However, Eveready came forward with the fact check that the date in question was 7 December, to which Tony Blair countered that it was Eveready who had told him the story! Both took the award.
BB noted that last week’s hash had been an important one, and that several hashers had abandoned hash in favour of going to the SPREP opening function – Swinger, Hot Nuts, Tammi and Screamer.
Tammi nominated a new hasher for the Line Jumping the Hash Cash Award, but she got the name wrong so she joined “Bwyan” or David.
Strangler nominated Mr Whippy for the Pollution Award for taking us through several areas with congested traffic. There followed some lighthearted and frankly disgusting discussion of Zsa Zsa’s bike, in particular the upturned front and the ballspace. In the end Eveready, Zsa Zsa, Snake and later on Chilindrina for Sympathy Award. AC/DC and FBI were spotted holding up a brand new house – Leaning Award.
Eveready had spotted BB coming late and drove part of the trail, so a Partial Chariot Riding Award was handed out. Meanwhile Tony Blair nominated Lewinsky for ruining the family nature of hash for various horrible acts including feeding Happy Feet beer, so he got a Pour Parenting Award.
AC/DC nominated Dawn Raid for not living up to his Hash name by not overstaying and rather leaving. BB had given a Hasher a ride in her car, who had promptly left his shoes behind and giving Swinger cause for grief, so AC/DC stepped up for a Getting Hash Mere Into Trouble Award. Eveready nominated Tony Blair for getting drinks at HQ1 and not paying for them. A more solemn moment came as Mr Whippy explained the meaning and nature of Thanksgiving, a time for getting together and sharing of the harvest, which was what Hash was all about as well. This was then ruined by Captain Mortein’s comment about whether Thanksgiving happened before or after the Indians were slaughtered.
The Hosts and the Hare received warm accolades from the Hash, and Godfather blessed our partaking of the heavenly bounty that was laid out for us to enjoy.
Your Scribe will be off again, but back on 25th of January.
On On,
Poumuli.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Hash Run 1493 - Mon 23 Nov 2009
Hash Run 1493 will be hosted by the Whippy family in Lotopa (see map).We will be celebrating Thanksgiving! We hope to have a turkey for the troops too :)
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, where everyone comes together and shares, this will be a pot luck run - so please bring a cooked dish. There will be no BBQ (we are giving the Hash chefs the night off).
Rumors are that Mr. Whippy is cooking-up his Nuclear Chili - The Psycho Dave Blend.
On On!
Hash Trash - Run 1492
The hash was hosted by Larry and Mandy at their house in Vailima next to the SPREP Compound. A good turnout for this birthday run for both Larry and Mr. Whippy, and the pack set off down the SPREP road and into the woodlands. A bit of confusion as the arrow Larry had left was so large that it was invisible at first, but the trail led down the creek and over some strategically logged trees placed there by MAFF. So much for this being a conservation area. Your Scribe had a sprained toe so he lost the pack, but apparently there was some interesting trails blazed through buildings and other properties. A good jomp through the area in other words.
Strangler stepped in as GM and noted that the year 1492 was the year Columbus “discovered” America, so a Discovery Award was given to Selena, Walking Eagle, Eveready, Fang and Chilindrina for being Americanos. Tony Blair tried a historical accuracy revision to the award by calling on the Vikings in the Hash to be awarded since everyone knows that the Vikings, particularly the Norwegian Vikings were the first Europeans to set foot, pillage and murder on American soil. But Strangler declined on that one, as the year could not be ascertained, and Poumuli knows not to volunteer information that leads to him getting down downs.
There were three newcomers to Hash, Matt from Auckland (guest of Dizzy), Ross and Mana from Melbourne (guests of Larry and Mandy). Rethreads were Walking Eagle and Dizzy – neither of whom had a good excuse. New Boots were spotted, as Dizzy only explained to Matt the rules upon arrival at the Hash. But he took the award in good stride, until Dawn Raid interfered and got the Non-Enlightenment Award. Celebrity Awards went to Larry, Dawn Raid, Poumuli and Tony Blair.
Crash Bandicoot arrived, late and with the Hash Mugs, and his claim of working (barely) was not accepted so he got the Late Mugs Award.
Several Hash Meres joined in describing some rather inappropriate behavior, so Slippery received the Too Much Information (Disclosure Act 2009) for describing his passions over the years. The fact that he was taking a photo of a lactating Pirate Princess while facing the accusation only enlarged the mug to a big one.
Most unfairly Poumuli was given the Smuggling Award for bringing in contraband tasers etc., even if it was used at the start of the run to deter some mangy charging dogs. Tony Blair tried to use the illegal arms to taser Poumuli during the award but has clumsy hands – explains Larry’s water situation.
Last Friday had been declared a Government half day off for sports, but many Government employees in the Hash declined to take part. So for Unsportsmanlike Conduct Award we got Rose, Lesbian Vampire Killer and Skinny Dipper. Dawn Raid slipped on LVK’s hash name and joined in. AC/DC and Dizzy were both caught leaning, and AC/CD doubled his award for wearing Bedouin headgear.
Sassygirl nominated Tammi for the Sexual Harassment Award for being untowards direct to a waiter, while Larry took a Humiliation Award and voluntarily handed over 4 chocolate ̩clairs to Sassygirl. Slippery had been shopping and had a Sassy Chick tanktop for Sassygirl and a Wahoo shirt (something about Wahoo Tacos Рrather unappealing) РPoumuli accepted on her behalf. Dawn Raid, who was looking distinctly worse for wear (and it got worse) and was caught leaning. Captain Mortein was caught trying to dob Pirate Princess for Cellphonus Interruptus. A Numeracy Award went to SOTB for getting the blog wrong on what hash number we were at, and Poumuli added in Slippery for being unable to select t-shirt sizes.
BB tried to nominate Dawn Raid and Poumuli for a Blasphemy Award, but revenge was sweet as the Hash voted BB for a Religious Persecution Award. Captain Mortein received the brunt of his Lady’s wrath for Child Endagerment – giving beer to the little one, calling wife, etc. Kiwi showed up and not only got the Latercomer Award, but also the Fashion Award. BB nominated Poumuli for the Sweet Brother Award for looking high and low for the damned t-shirt Dawn Raid was wearing. Snake attempted to speak but had lost his voice so received a Lame Award himself.
Larry noted that the trail had been well marked but shortcutters were in evidence – Lesbian Vampire Killer, Dawn Raid, AC/DC, Poumuli and Slippery. Kiwi made a late nomination for the Worst Driver and Navigator Awards to Dawn Raid and AC/DC.
The GM called for a Catch-Up Award to all those who had interrupted the circle with cellphones – AC/DC, Lesbian Vampire Killer, Skinny Dipper and Chilindrina. BB lamented how Vailima had not picked up last Hash’s keg for a week and as a result they were robbed – Crash was the closest living relative to Vailima so he accepted the award. Dizzy then nominated Tony Blair for the Pocket Billiards Award for playing with himself in the circle, although he should have joined the award for perving Tony Blair.
The Hosts and Hare were roundly thanked and the birthday song rendered in English and Samoan, before we descended on the sumptuous feast.
Next week’s Hash will be at Mr. and Mrs. Whippy’s house.
On On,
Poumuli.
Strangler stepped in as GM and noted that the year 1492 was the year Columbus “discovered” America, so a Discovery Award was given to Selena, Walking Eagle, Eveready, Fang and Chilindrina for being Americanos. Tony Blair tried a historical accuracy revision to the award by calling on the Vikings in the Hash to be awarded since everyone knows that the Vikings, particularly the Norwegian Vikings were the first Europeans to set foot, pillage and murder on American soil. But Strangler declined on that one, as the year could not be ascertained, and Poumuli knows not to volunteer information that leads to him getting down downs.
There were three newcomers to Hash, Matt from Auckland (guest of Dizzy), Ross and Mana from Melbourne (guests of Larry and Mandy). Rethreads were Walking Eagle and Dizzy – neither of whom had a good excuse. New Boots were spotted, as Dizzy only explained to Matt the rules upon arrival at the Hash. But he took the award in good stride, until Dawn Raid interfered and got the Non-Enlightenment Award. Celebrity Awards went to Larry, Dawn Raid, Poumuli and Tony Blair.
Crash Bandicoot arrived, late and with the Hash Mugs, and his claim of working (barely) was not accepted so he got the Late Mugs Award.
Several Hash Meres joined in describing some rather inappropriate behavior, so Slippery received the Too Much Information (Disclosure Act 2009) for describing his passions over the years. The fact that he was taking a photo of a lactating Pirate Princess while facing the accusation only enlarged the mug to a big one.
Most unfairly Poumuli was given the Smuggling Award for bringing in contraband tasers etc., even if it was used at the start of the run to deter some mangy charging dogs. Tony Blair tried to use the illegal arms to taser Poumuli during the award but has clumsy hands – explains Larry’s water situation.
Last Friday had been declared a Government half day off for sports, but many Government employees in the Hash declined to take part. So for Unsportsmanlike Conduct Award we got Rose, Lesbian Vampire Killer and Skinny Dipper. Dawn Raid slipped on LVK’s hash name and joined in. AC/DC and Dizzy were both caught leaning, and AC/CD doubled his award for wearing Bedouin headgear.
Sassygirl nominated Tammi for the Sexual Harassment Award for being untowards direct to a waiter, while Larry took a Humiliation Award and voluntarily handed over 4 chocolate ̩clairs to Sassygirl. Slippery had been shopping and had a Sassy Chick tanktop for Sassygirl and a Wahoo shirt (something about Wahoo Tacos Рrather unappealing) РPoumuli accepted on her behalf. Dawn Raid, who was looking distinctly worse for wear (and it got worse) and was caught leaning. Captain Mortein was caught trying to dob Pirate Princess for Cellphonus Interruptus. A Numeracy Award went to SOTB for getting the blog wrong on what hash number we were at, and Poumuli added in Slippery for being unable to select t-shirt sizes.
BB tried to nominate Dawn Raid and Poumuli for a Blasphemy Award, but revenge was sweet as the Hash voted BB for a Religious Persecution Award. Captain Mortein received the brunt of his Lady’s wrath for Child Endagerment – giving beer to the little one, calling wife, etc. Kiwi showed up and not only got the Latercomer Award, but also the Fashion Award. BB nominated Poumuli for the Sweet Brother Award for looking high and low for the damned t-shirt Dawn Raid was wearing. Snake attempted to speak but had lost his voice so received a Lame Award himself.
Larry noted that the trail had been well marked but shortcutters were in evidence – Lesbian Vampire Killer, Dawn Raid, AC/DC, Poumuli and Slippery. Kiwi made a late nomination for the Worst Driver and Navigator Awards to Dawn Raid and AC/DC.
The GM called for a Catch-Up Award to all those who had interrupted the circle with cellphones – AC/DC, Lesbian Vampire Killer, Skinny Dipper and Chilindrina. BB lamented how Vailima had not picked up last Hash’s keg for a week and as a result they were robbed – Crash was the closest living relative to Vailima so he accepted the award. Dizzy then nominated Tony Blair for the Pocket Billiards Award for playing with himself in the circle, although he should have joined the award for perving Tony Blair.
The Hosts and Hare were roundly thanked and the birthday song rendered in English and Samoan, before we descended on the sumptuous feast.
Next week’s Hash will be at Mr. and Mrs. Whippy’s house.
On On,
Poumuli.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Hash Trash- Run 1491
Hash trash 1491
The Scribe is back from a long deportation abroad. He was too jet-lagged to go on the run, but from all accounts it was an enjoyable one.
So on to the circle. Strangler was GM, and found no newbies in the circle. Many rethreads – Poumuli, Kiwi, Ray Charles, Brian. New boots were checked by Mad Hatter but none were found – the customary down down for the boot checker was somewhat not rewarded. Meanwhile a local dog had found a discarded beer mug and did her own down down.
The GM awarded Chilindria with the Crash Award, something to do with a car and “an idiot”. After completing her award she spilled Godfather’s beer, but again unrewarded. Birthday awards were given to Lesbian Vampire Killer who was joined by Delicious in a very close race.
The GM, spotting two closely dressed hash meres awarded the Twins Award to Delicious and Soleless, who while claiming to promoting safe sex were only doing so for New Zealand. Watch out sheep.
Opening the deliberations to the floor, SOTB quickly nominated Dawn Raid for hitting on another Hashers girlfriend. To his defence he mumbled that he to this day has not been able to ascertain what her name is.
Sassygirl nominated Larry for not only writing to the Editor, but for also getting a furious response from the SWA CEO. Larry demanded, and got, Bits and Pieces and Tony Blair to join him. Sassygirl continued with a Bribery Award for Larry and Mandy over some paper issue, not quite clear.
The GM announced that since a certain Hasher was leaving Samoa he should get a Safe Sex Award with Delicious and Soleless – step down Brian. The GM also noted that a hash meres absence from previous hashe, and something about thunderous activities. Anyway, Screamer had no comment.
Swinger nominated BB for the Geographically Challenged Award over the direction of the trail. Poumuli nominated Larry and SOTB for the Empty Threat Award over their comments on the blog.
Living up to ones hash name is a prestigious award, but as the GM noted Soleless had actually been legless at the last hash to the point of needing to be hosed down. Larry who has moved in next to SPREP nominated Poumuli for the Cruelty To Animals Award for chucking stones at some charging dogs. Won’t happen again. Next time – Taser!
Lewinsky received a Pollution Award for “watering” the hosts plants, and thus poisoning the host. The circle was not done with Larry as Eveready got him the Machete in Own Leg Award. Sassygirl and Tammy had attended a yoga class, after which Zsa Zsa had made a completely ballsed up comment about a yoga position that cannot be repeated. SOTB followed with a question about who dresses Tony Blair and a Leaning Award for Brian. Child Abuse Awards was given to Karaoke for burning Delicious forehead. Eveready and Karaoke deflected a Special Hostfulness Award by getting the circle to toast the memory of Shafter.
Finally, the host and the hare were profusely thanked before we descended on the great spread of food.
Next week’s Hash will be at Larry and Mandy’s house up in Vailima next to the SPREP compound.
On On
Poumuli
The Scribe is back from a long deportation abroad. He was too jet-lagged to go on the run, but from all accounts it was an enjoyable one.
So on to the circle. Strangler was GM, and found no newbies in the circle. Many rethreads – Poumuli, Kiwi, Ray Charles, Brian. New boots were checked by Mad Hatter but none were found – the customary down down for the boot checker was somewhat not rewarded. Meanwhile a local dog had found a discarded beer mug and did her own down down.
The GM awarded Chilindria with the Crash Award, something to do with a car and “an idiot”. After completing her award she spilled Godfather’s beer, but again unrewarded. Birthday awards were given to Lesbian Vampire Killer who was joined by Delicious in a very close race.
The GM, spotting two closely dressed hash meres awarded the Twins Award to Delicious and Soleless, who while claiming to promoting safe sex were only doing so for New Zealand. Watch out sheep.
Opening the deliberations to the floor, SOTB quickly nominated Dawn Raid for hitting on another Hashers girlfriend. To his defence he mumbled that he to this day has not been able to ascertain what her name is.
Sassygirl nominated Larry for not only writing to the Editor, but for also getting a furious response from the SWA CEO. Larry demanded, and got, Bits and Pieces and Tony Blair to join him. Sassygirl continued with a Bribery Award for Larry and Mandy over some paper issue, not quite clear.
The GM announced that since a certain Hasher was leaving Samoa he should get a Safe Sex Award with Delicious and Soleless – step down Brian. The GM also noted that a hash meres absence from previous hashe, and something about thunderous activities. Anyway, Screamer had no comment.
Swinger nominated BB for the Geographically Challenged Award over the direction of the trail. Poumuli nominated Larry and SOTB for the Empty Threat Award over their comments on the blog.
Living up to ones hash name is a prestigious award, but as the GM noted Soleless had actually been legless at the last hash to the point of needing to be hosed down. Larry who has moved in next to SPREP nominated Poumuli for the Cruelty To Animals Award for chucking stones at some charging dogs. Won’t happen again. Next time – Taser!
Lewinsky received a Pollution Award for “watering” the hosts plants, and thus poisoning the host. The circle was not done with Larry as Eveready got him the Machete in Own Leg Award. Sassygirl and Tammy had attended a yoga class, after which Zsa Zsa had made a completely ballsed up comment about a yoga position that cannot be repeated. SOTB followed with a question about who dresses Tony Blair and a Leaning Award for Brian. Child Abuse Awards was given to Karaoke for burning Delicious forehead. Eveready and Karaoke deflected a Special Hostfulness Award by getting the circle to toast the memory of Shafter.
Finally, the host and the hare were profusely thanked before we descended on the great spread of food.
Next week’s Hash will be at Larry and Mandy’s house up in Vailima next to the SPREP compound.
On On
Poumuli
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Hash Run 1492 - 16 Nov - Larry and Mandy @ Vailima
HI Gang,
Hash next week will be hosted by Larry and Mandy at their home in Vailima. It is also Larry and Mr Whippy's Birthday. Fingers Crossed, the water is running come Monday.
Head up the cross island road and take the road SPREP is on. Its the house before the SPREP compound on the right. Follow the map if you get lost.
On On
Friday, November 06, 2009
Hash Run - 9th Nov - BB & Swinger at Siusega
Next Weeks run will be hosted by Swinger and BB. They have kindly offered to host seeing as we are a little low on people hosting runs. The run starts from Swinger and BB's home in Siusega (yay, more hills) and starts normal time at 1730.
On On
Monday, November 02, 2009
Hash Run 02 Nov 2009
Todays run will be in Siusega at Seema the Screamer's house...This will be a BYO Sausage Sizzle, so bring along some bangers or bread or onions and we can have a quick feed. The Keg will be provided by Hash and there is a pool there too..for those who fancy a dip. Snake, if you could bring your trusty BBQ please.
Run starts normal time @ 1730 hrs.
On On
Friday, October 23, 2009
Hash Halloween Run - 26 Oct 09
Hi to you all. Next weeks run will be hosted by Hot Nut/s, Brenda and Tammy up at Vaoala on Bank Steet. Head up the Cross island road and turn onto Bank St (Where Bits & Pieces and Goer Live) and head down that road, The house is on the right hand side after the bends in the road. Look out for the Outrigger Canoes in the front Lawn.
If you get Lost, call Tammy on 7205455
There will be a Halloween Theme, so wear your best Halloween Costumes..Those not dressed up will be punished by the GM on the night.
On On
Monday, October 19, 2009
Hash Run - 19 Oct 2009
Morning, due to the lack of hosts, Hash will be in town behind the Tourism Fale. It will be a BYO Food run andwill start at 5:30.
I think there will be a live hare unless someone can volunteer to set a run. Map is below for any newbies :)
ON ON
I think there will be a live hare unless someone can volunteer to set a run. Map is below for any newbies :)
ON ON
Friday, October 09, 2009
Hash Run 12 Oct 09- Tony Blair & Selena- Updated
Morning to you all.
Next weeks White Sunday run on the 12th will be hosted by Tony Blair and Selana at their home in Tuaefu. This will be a BYO Food run. Snake, are you able to bring the BBQ please. The pool will be filled and ready and the run will start at 2pm seeing that it is a public Holiday!
See the map below for directions
On ON
Next weeks White Sunday run on the 12th will be hosted by Tony Blair and Selana at their home in Tuaefu. This will be a BYO Food run. Snake, are you able to bring the BBQ please. The pool will be filled and ready and the run will start at 2pm seeing that it is a public Holiday!
See the map below for directions
On ON
Hash Trash
Hash Run Date: 28.9.09
Waiting for latecomers delayed the departure of the truck to the secret destination. Lewinsky driving like a bat out of hell, no pink and late! Made a loud entrance in front of the truck, followed by Kiwi who had no idea how to lock his truck, after much encouragement from the crowd gave his keys to a Hash merry to drive to a safer location.
The truck took off, FBI lost his pink cap and that set the pace for the trip…. He couldn’t wait to jump out and find his precious. The truck stopped at 5km for the walkers and continued on to the 7.km mark for the down hill runners.
SOTB struggled with a very beautiful pink fallen Hallow.
In the circle Eveready spoke about Karaoke and Desirables birthdays and expressed his thanks to the Hash Family for the love, kindness and support at the time of the accident. To Desirable “On, On”
Visitor Prue AKA “Roxy the Geologist”, was overwhelmed by FBI’s need to assist the new maiden, some think he was just trying to replace his pink hat!
Retreads
Nola donated the pig! A down, down delivered for her generosity.
Kiwi & Lewinsky down, down for wrecking the speedy departure.
Mad Hatter, down, down for not knowing if she’s a runner or a walker, and refused to get out of the truck with the runners.
Greg & Swinger went for a walk on the weekend and got lost again. ACDC said that’s the 2nd time, it happened four years ago on the same walk.
Sara, down, down for the superwoman award, she keeps coming in first.
Greg, down, down for taking off like a spring chicken vs. FBI down, down for the jealous award.
Blow Me, down, down for the “totally gay” award he needs to start drinking like a man and loose his wifes’ shirt.
The Monk arrived, only after trying to mount a dog!!! And called for
Greg who has been wearing far too many fancy pants and getting the girls excited so will now be known as “HOT NUTS” ACDC wanted to know which one is the hot one.
Seema who loves to express herself in all areas of pain, ecstasy or anger, will be known as “SCREAMER”
Rebecca is known for wanting to get her clothes off and swim around freely, will be known as the “SKINNY DIPPER”
Peta married to a certain captain with be known as the “PIRATE PRINCESS”
Mattie, loves to bash people around, will be known as the “SLAPPER”, the Hash family hope she doesn’t live up to her name.
The crowd wanted clarification whether it is HOT NUT or NUTS?
Lewinsky nominated Eveready for the “dream car award” a work in progress. A battery was found so all could here the engine.
Special Guest Nathan finished the circle with a spectacular dance.
ON ON
Waiting for latecomers delayed the departure of the truck to the secret destination. Lewinsky driving like a bat out of hell, no pink and late! Made a loud entrance in front of the truck, followed by Kiwi who had no idea how to lock his truck, after much encouragement from the crowd gave his keys to a Hash merry to drive to a safer location.
The truck took off, FBI lost his pink cap and that set the pace for the trip…. He couldn’t wait to jump out and find his precious. The truck stopped at 5km for the walkers and continued on to the 7.km mark for the down hill runners.
SOTB struggled with a very beautiful pink fallen Hallow.
In the circle Eveready spoke about Karaoke and Desirables birthdays and expressed his thanks to the Hash Family for the love, kindness and support at the time of the accident. To Desirable “On, On”
Visitor Prue AKA “Roxy the Geologist”, was overwhelmed by FBI’s need to assist the new maiden, some think he was just trying to replace his pink hat!
Retreads
Nola donated the pig! A down, down delivered for her generosity.
Kiwi & Lewinsky down, down for wrecking the speedy departure.
Mad Hatter, down, down for not knowing if she’s a runner or a walker, and refused to get out of the truck with the runners.
Greg & Swinger went for a walk on the weekend and got lost again. ACDC said that’s the 2nd time, it happened four years ago on the same walk.
Sara, down, down for the superwoman award, she keeps coming in first.
Greg, down, down for taking off like a spring chicken vs. FBI down, down for the jealous award.
Blow Me, down, down for the “totally gay” award he needs to start drinking like a man and loose his wifes’ shirt.
The Monk arrived, only after trying to mount a dog!!! And called for
Greg who has been wearing far too many fancy pants and getting the girls excited so will now be known as “HOT NUTS” ACDC wanted to know which one is the hot one.
Seema who loves to express herself in all areas of pain, ecstasy or anger, will be known as “SCREAMER”
Rebecca is known for wanting to get her clothes off and swim around freely, will be known as the “SKINNY DIPPER”
Peta married to a certain captain with be known as the “PIRATE PRINCESS”
Mattie, loves to bash people around, will be known as the “SLAPPER”, the Hash family hope she doesn’t live up to her name.
The crowd wanted clarification whether it is HOT NUT or NUTS?
Lewinsky nominated Eveready for the “dream car award” a work in progress. A battery was found so all could here the engine.
Special Guest Nathan finished the circle with a spectacular dance.
ON ON
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
TODAY'S RUN IS ON! (Wed 7 Oct)
Just confirmed with Snake, Snake's 50th Birthday Hash Run is on! The food is ordered and the beer is COLD. See map below if you need directions.
On On!
Mr. Whippy.
On On!
Mr. Whippy.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Special Hash Run- Wednesday 7th Oct 2009- Snakes 50th
Good Morning to you all,
As per discussions last night at hash, we will be having a special hash run tomorrow, Wednesday 7th October 2009 to be hosted by Snake at the Snake Pit to celebrate Snakes 50th Birthday. Hash starts normal time at 5:30 PM...Looking forward to seeing you all there to celebrate this special day with Snake and the family.
On On
As per discussions last night at hash, we will be having a special hash run tomorrow, Wednesday 7th October 2009 to be hosted by Snake at the Snake Pit to celebrate Snakes 50th Birthday. Hash starts normal time at 5:30 PM...Looking forward to seeing you all there to celebrate this special day with Snake and the family.
On On
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Godmother's Eulogy
Editor: Below is the beautiful eulogy given by the Head of State at Godmother's (Anna Tui Annandale's) service Wednesday morning. Note that Tuatagoloa references Godfather.
I was hesitant to talk last night because I was aware of Tui’s discomfort with politics, politicians and status.
My reservation was allayed when Tuatagaloa asked me after the service to say something this morning.
I decided to speak because I felt that his request was also hers.
Nothing becomes Tui more than the manner of her leaving. As Carol said last night, in this tragedy she put the safety of her mother and Joe before her own – a gesture underlining selflessness and humility.
Her family admits that her funeral was carefully planned and today one senses that she’s still very much in command.
She has orchestrated the time and space: the order of the rituals, liturgies and testimonies. The programme was and is: the funeral within twenty four hours of death; a quiet family service at 8pm; a funeral service at Tanumapua at 5.30am; and her burial at Siusega.
All this is metaphor for moving on lest we dwell too long on death and tragedy – a salutary lesson not only for our family but also for a grieving nation.
As the wife of Tuatagaloa, she is entitled to the protocols, rituals and conventions befitting the funeral of the wife of a Falealili grandee.
This includes a funeral service at the official residence of Tuatagaloa in Poutasi. But, in opting for less fanfare, Tui was and is claiming space: space for privacy.
She wanted a funeral where the ambiance would be markedly different in tone and context; she simply wanted to move on with grace. Whereas she became the mainstay of the Poutasi hierarchy, in the end she preferred a quiet and private funeral.
Her outstanding gift to us was the example of how she eased her way with finesse and aplomb through the different corridors of Samoan society. She would reincarnate herself many times, sometimes all in the same day.
One moment she could be entrepreneur, the next a chair of a charitable organization, or Board member of an art or culture group, or a lead person in the village women’s committee, or a delegate to an annual Malua EFKS Fono tele.
All this achieved with quiet wit, thoughtfulness and grace. Through this she brought people from different persuasions and cultures together. This is high achievement.
She saw the Sinalei staff not as workers or employees to be bullied or put down but as human beings that you need to work in partnership with.
She did not pretend to a knowledge or expertise that she did not have. She was quite comfortable in learning from others or from books. She was successful in the village because she had the common touch; she understood people and was humble and modest.
How did she do it? Through an innate sense of humility. Whether she knew it or not, her humility gave her an uncanny insight into what the Bible refers to in Ecclesiastes as the “vanity of vanities”.
Tui was humble yet not meek. She sought and celebrated simplicity which was not simple because of the allusions to metaphor and nuance. She was most accommodating and alluring when she stood firm on what she believed to be principle.
Tui was a deeply spiritual person. For her, God was not distant and formidable; God was always present and an integral part of loving. He was present when she planted flowers, when they sprouted, budded, blossomed, bloomed and withered. He was present in her love of animals, especially in her love for her dogs.
He was truly present for her when the sun rose and set. He was present when she loved Joe, her family, friends and especially the disadvantaged. He was present when she and Joe prayed in the morning and in the evening. Knowing her, she would have prayed for the last time for the safety of Joe, her mother Anna and Tafa, her mother’s nurse. I believe God heard and heeded her prayer.
If I’m struggling to capture the essence of Tui, then I invite you to take a good look at her face, her glow, her gentle smile and her sense of inner peace. That is her legacy.
I loved Tui dearly for a very simple reason: she loved Joe, and because of this love, Joe and her family and all who came in contact with her became better people.
Soifua.
Click here to view and share memories of Godmother Tui.
I was hesitant to talk last night because I was aware of Tui’s discomfort with politics, politicians and status.
My reservation was allayed when Tuatagaloa asked me after the service to say something this morning.
I decided to speak because I felt that his request was also hers.
Nothing becomes Tui more than the manner of her leaving. As Carol said last night, in this tragedy she put the safety of her mother and Joe before her own – a gesture underlining selflessness and humility.
Her family admits that her funeral was carefully planned and today one senses that she’s still very much in command.
She has orchestrated the time and space: the order of the rituals, liturgies and testimonies. The programme was and is: the funeral within twenty four hours of death; a quiet family service at 8pm; a funeral service at Tanumapua at 5.30am; and her burial at Siusega.
All this is metaphor for moving on lest we dwell too long on death and tragedy – a salutary lesson not only for our family but also for a grieving nation.
As the wife of Tuatagaloa, she is entitled to the protocols, rituals and conventions befitting the funeral of the wife of a Falealili grandee.
This includes a funeral service at the official residence of Tuatagaloa in Poutasi. But, in opting for less fanfare, Tui was and is claiming space: space for privacy.
She wanted a funeral where the ambiance would be markedly different in tone and context; she simply wanted to move on with grace. Whereas she became the mainstay of the Poutasi hierarchy, in the end she preferred a quiet and private funeral.
Her outstanding gift to us was the example of how she eased her way with finesse and aplomb through the different corridors of Samoan society. She would reincarnate herself many times, sometimes all in the same day.
One moment she could be entrepreneur, the next a chair of a charitable organization, or Board member of an art or culture group, or a lead person in the village women’s committee, or a delegate to an annual Malua EFKS Fono tele.
All this achieved with quiet wit, thoughtfulness and grace. Through this she brought people from different persuasions and cultures together. This is high achievement.
She saw the Sinalei staff not as workers or employees to be bullied or put down but as human beings that you need to work in partnership with.
She did not pretend to a knowledge or expertise that she did not have. She was quite comfortable in learning from others or from books. She was successful in the village because she had the common touch; she understood people and was humble and modest.
How did she do it? Through an innate sense of humility. Whether she knew it or not, her humility gave her an uncanny insight into what the Bible refers to in Ecclesiastes as the “vanity of vanities”.
Tui was humble yet not meek. She sought and celebrated simplicity which was not simple because of the allusions to metaphor and nuance. She was most accommodating and alluring when she stood firm on what she believed to be principle.
Tui was a deeply spiritual person. For her, God was not distant and formidable; God was always present and an integral part of loving. He was present when she planted flowers, when they sprouted, budded, blossomed, bloomed and withered. He was present in her love of animals, especially in her love for her dogs.
He was truly present for her when the sun rose and set. He was present when she loved Joe, her family, friends and especially the disadvantaged. He was present when she and Joe prayed in the morning and in the evening. Knowing her, she would have prayed for the last time for the safety of Joe, her mother Anna and Tafa, her mother’s nurse. I believe God heard and heeded her prayer.
If I’m struggling to capture the essence of Tui, then I invite you to take a good look at her face, her glow, her gentle smile and her sense of inner peace. That is her legacy.
I loved Tui dearly for a very simple reason: she loved Joe, and because of this love, Joe and her family and all who came in contact with her became better people.
Soifua.
Click here to view and share memories of Godmother Tui.
Hash Run 1485 - Mon 5 Oct 2009
This week's Hash is a BYO Food run - so please bring your own food. We will run from the Samoa Tourism Fale downtown. Although hearts remain heavy, a healthy run, good company, and ice cold beer may bring a smile or two. See you there,On On.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Godmother Donations Due Sat at Noon
As we discussed Wednesday evening, in honor of Godmother, Anna Tui Annandale, we are putting together a donation to be given to Godfather. Mismanagement will be supplementing our donation to help. Please drop off your donation to the usual collection points:
Princess of Darkness at the Yacht Club
Sassygirl at the Samoa Tourism Fale
Lewinski at On the Rocks
Fang at the Snake Pit
Please get your donations in by Noon on Saturday. Just give what you can. Mismanagement is hoping for about $100 per member.
Click here to read and share memories of Godmother Tui.
Princess of Darkness at the Yacht Club
Sassygirl at the Samoa Tourism Fale
Lewinski at On the Rocks
Fang at the Snake Pit
Please get your donations in by Noon on Saturday. Just give what you can. Mismanagement is hoping for about $100 per member.
Click here to read and share memories of Godmother Tui.
Red Cross Food & Clothing Donations
The GM, Princess of Darkness (aka POD) and Lewinski are trucking supplies to the Red Cross to assist the tsunami victims.
Please, if you have any spare clothes, shoes, towels, flashlights, cans of food, etc., drop them off at the Yacht Club, On the Rocks, or at Lewinski's and POD's home in Taumesina.
Please, if you have any spare clothes, shoes, towels, flashlights, cans of food, etc., drop them off at the Yacht Club, On the Rocks, or at Lewinski's and POD's home in Taumesina.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Godmother Taken by Tsunami
Our dearest Godmother, Anna Tui Annandale tragically lost her life to the Tsunami that laid waste to the southeast coast of Upolu, Samoa.Godfather, Godmother, her mother and nurse were at their home in Poutasi. After the mighty quake, they gathered, boarded their vehicle and fled. But the enormous wave rushed in with great speed and overtook them, rolling their vehicle. Godfather said, “We rolled, and rolled, and rolled, for the longest time…” Godmother and her mother’s nurse were in the back seat and thrown from the vehicle. Miraculously, Godfather, her mother and the nurse survived. (Late note: Tui's mother passed away the weekend after from pneumonia.)
Within hours of her death, several relatives flew-in from New Zealand to join the family. Phone calls and texts streamed-in throughout the day.
As per Tui’s wishes and tradition, she was buried within 24 hours of her passing. The family service was held yesterday at 8:00 pm at Tanumapua, followed by a short service this morning at 5:30 at the same, immediately followed by her burial at the Annandale estate in Siusega.
At the family service, family and friends gave moving testimonies about the selflessness, humbleness, and strength of Tui. At the short service this morning, the Head of State, Tui Atua Tupua Tamasese gave a stirring testimony (click here to read) honoring our beloved Godmother Tui. Godfather, Tuatagaloa Folasaitu Joe Annandale followed, sharing some final words with heavy heart and great love for his beautiful wife. There were many tears all around.
Tui Annandale was 63 years old. She passed away two days before her 64th birthday on October 1st. Tui is a well known and loved woman in Samoa. She was the first Miss Samoa. Tui was an instrumental force in several charitable organizations, taking care to stay clear of politics. She was a loving mentor and role model for many. Several at the family service described Tui as the rock behind her husband, her family, her friends, her coworkers, and the Sinalei Reef Resort.
On On, Godmother.
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Why this tsunami was so powerful and fast
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Hash 1484 - Eveready & Kareoke
Talofa, next week's run will be hosted by Eveready and Karaoke at their home in Lotopa. This run is to celebrate our beloved Desirables Birthday. The theme for Monday is Pink so everyone is asked to wear something pink. Any one not wearing Pink will be punished by the GM!
There is also word that the Monk will be there for a naming Ceremony for a few runners. See the map below for directions.
On On
SOTB
There is also word that the Monk will be there for a naming Ceremony for a few runners. See the map below for directions.
On On
SOTB
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Hash Trash 1483
A glorious day for a run, hosted out in Vaitele at Apia Concrete Products by Tupua Fred Wetzell. The run was set on paper, and the hare was Swinger, who obviously had been a very mobile hare. The paper was obviously placed out the window of his Haremobile, which meant we couldn’t run against the traffic (that should have been an award). The run started out from ACP through the hills of grit and sand, with Captain Mortein taking and keeping a commanding lead. So much so that we lost sight of him a few times. He was so fast that when the pack caught up to him he had already found the false trails and re-acquired the real trail. The run was a pleasant road run through the back roads of Vaitele for the most part. The slow rising hills were a pain, as was the hill on the on-home, but we all made it back safely, there were no dog incidents and no curfews to violate.
Strangler stepped in as acting GM, mainly because he was in line for a few awards, so this was an easy avoidance tactic. There were a few newcomers to Apia Hash – Foxtrot Mike (Len from Australia), Mary from England, Sarai from NZ/Vailoa and Red Robin from Australia. Rethreads were MilkMe (busy in Savaii with his multitude of livestock), AC/DC (on drugs), Gilligan (from Oz, returned after 14 years was it) and Bear Faced (BlowMe’s dad).
The Shoe Inspector was called forth and he identified Seema and Red Robin as having brought new shoes that were quickly filled and drained.
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (Observer article), Wahoo (TV ad) and Godfather (vaka story on TV).
The GM presented his own special Wannabe Nudists/Germans Award to those willing to be extras in a new TV production – Swinger, Mad Hatter, Lesbian Vampire Killer and Poumuli. He also presented AC/DC with the Hitting on Nudist Girls Award. The GM reminded us that there had been a very special birthday that weekend, so we all sang Happy Birthday for Godfather. He also got a cake which was heartily consumed later.
The GM brought up the shenanigans after Hash 1482, where a number of Hash Meres had jumped or been thrown in the pool for what he described as the wet t-shirt competition. Peta, Delicious, Karaoke, Wahoo and Sassygirl got the Showing Us What They’re Made Of Award as a result.
The first nomination from the floor came from Tony Blair for the Academic Achievement Award. Apparently Salsa has been accepted at the Harvard Business School (was there also a scholarship?), so Selena as closest relative accepted the award. Sassygirl berated the Hasher who constantly leaves his wife behind to go fishing, etc. so the Careless Award went to Lewinsky. Flash Gordon brought up Lewinsky’s cellphonus interruptus, corroborated by SOTB, so out he went again. But Sassygirl had observed Flash Gordon trying to hold up the seemingly sturdy building, so a Leaning Award was given.
Poumuli had to take an award at Hash 1482 on behalf of Underrated (for getting Buzzer’s hash name wrong on the website), so he managed to get Underrated a Repeat Award. Eveready recounted how he had asked a Hasher for the phone number of said Hashers Mum, only to be told the Hasher couldn’t remember it, but Swinger avoided the award as we were thanking the Host and the Hare.
Next week’s run will be at Eveready and Karaoke’s place. He asks that all wear pink. There was also some mutter from SOTB about an email from the Hash Monk, who intends to join us next week. Should be fun.
On On,
Poumuli.
Strangler stepped in as acting GM, mainly because he was in line for a few awards, so this was an easy avoidance tactic. There were a few newcomers to Apia Hash – Foxtrot Mike (Len from Australia), Mary from England, Sarai from NZ/Vailoa and Red Robin from Australia. Rethreads were MilkMe (busy in Savaii with his multitude of livestock), AC/DC (on drugs), Gilligan (from Oz, returned after 14 years was it) and Bear Faced (BlowMe’s dad).
The Shoe Inspector was called forth and he identified Seema and Red Robin as having brought new shoes that were quickly filled and drained.
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (Observer article), Wahoo (TV ad) and Godfather (vaka story on TV).
The GM presented his own special Wannabe Nudists/Germans Award to those willing to be extras in a new TV production – Swinger, Mad Hatter, Lesbian Vampire Killer and Poumuli. He also presented AC/DC with the Hitting on Nudist Girls Award. The GM reminded us that there had been a very special birthday that weekend, so we all sang Happy Birthday for Godfather. He also got a cake which was heartily consumed later.
The GM brought up the shenanigans after Hash 1482, where a number of Hash Meres had jumped or been thrown in the pool for what he described as the wet t-shirt competition. Peta, Delicious, Karaoke, Wahoo and Sassygirl got the Showing Us What They’re Made Of Award as a result.
The first nomination from the floor came from Tony Blair for the Academic Achievement Award. Apparently Salsa has been accepted at the Harvard Business School (was there also a scholarship?), so Selena as closest relative accepted the award. Sassygirl berated the Hasher who constantly leaves his wife behind to go fishing, etc. so the Careless Award went to Lewinsky. Flash Gordon brought up Lewinsky’s cellphonus interruptus, corroborated by SOTB, so out he went again. But Sassygirl had observed Flash Gordon trying to hold up the seemingly sturdy building, so a Leaning Award was given.
Poumuli had to take an award at Hash 1482 on behalf of Underrated (for getting Buzzer’s hash name wrong on the website), so he managed to get Underrated a Repeat Award. Eveready recounted how he had asked a Hasher for the phone number of said Hashers Mum, only to be told the Hasher couldn’t remember it, but Swinger avoided the award as we were thanking the Host and the Hare.
Next week’s run will be at Eveready and Karaoke’s place. He asks that all wear pink. There was also some mutter from SOTB about an email from the Hash Monk, who intends to join us next week. Should be fun.
On On,
Poumuli.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Hash 1483- Uncle Fred @ ACP Vaitele
Afternoon, sorry for the late reply, we had trouble finding a host. Uncle Fred Wetzell of ACP has kindly offered to host hash at his place in Vaitele. We will be at the usual spot next to the warehouse on the right hand side of the compound. Check the Map for directions.
On On
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Hash Trash 1482
The hash was hosted by Selena and Tony Blair at their lush garden in Tuaefu. The run had been set by RingRing on flour, which caused some visually impaired hashers a problem – apparently birdshit, old dogshit and dried road paint can take on the same visual qualities. But as Eveready pointed out, it was lucky nobody tasted it to check. The pack set out from the yard led by Captain Mortein, who was sure we were going up the river creek way. After finding a cross at that gate we carried on over the bridge, where we thought we had found the trail, but no (see above). The trail was picked up going the other way towards Faleata golf course, now clearly having been set from a chariot. We followed the road up to the left, where another false trail sent us scurrying back to a side road. Greg was continually leading at this stage, showing undue athleticism, but not as much as Larry. We found the only off road part of the trail led us past some angry dogs and bemused gardeners, and a few young kids outran us. At the cross-road (sorry I didn’t get the name) we were led off to another false trail, and most of us took the road down for the on-home. Godfather led the last of the pack up the false trail again to check, so there were a few latecomers back to the house. All in all, a nice jomp along country roads, with the odd diesel belch making one nauseous.
Eveready stepped in as Acting GM, a role he has polished to a tee. Having observed that there were two kegs, he ordered large mugs for the awards, only to be given a lame excuse from Crash Bandicoot as to their whereabouts. The GM used his military intelligence skills to zoom in on the real culprit – Tony Blair – who got the Stealing Hash Property Award, decrying his innocence the whole mug down.
There was one newcomer to Hash, Emi, who had not been told by Flash Gordon about the procedures. That was the first one for Flash Gordon, who joined Snake and Fang as rethreads. New Shoes had been spotted from the very start of the run – Flash Gordon living up to his name indeed.
Celebrity Awards were given to Godfather (a double for that huge photo in the Observer) and Team Desirable with support (full page photo in the Observer) – Swinger, BB, Delicious, SOTB and Crash Bandicoot were those in attendance.
The GM recounted the festivities of the past weekend and how the hosts had only provided for one diet Coke, so the No Respect Award went to Tony Blair. Other hashers who said that they would not be turning up, then did, were given the Last To Leave Award (Crash Bandicoot and Delicious). On the same subject the GM said he was told by Karaoke to go home for the diet Coke, only to hear later that she was dancing on tables. She got a repeat award through Lewinsky who recounted the excessive advertising of flashing assets during said table dance, so Karaoke took the Flaunt It If You’ve Got It Award.
Slippery was doing his usual paparazzi thing, except Delicious and Probona caught him taking boob shots. Slippery claimed he was shooting the t-shirts, so after the vote the girls joined him in the award. Tony Blair nominated Bits and Pieces and Poumuli for the Emancipation Award for also dancing on the table. That got SOTB on a roll – first was an unfortunate usage by the Scribe of a real name for a hasher, second the fact that Underrated had used the wrong hash name on the blog. Oh well, a double award had to be taken by Poumuli. (We have now ascertained that the hash name for last week’s hare is Buzzer, according to Sassygirl and SOTB) SOTB spotted Captain Mortein leaning.
Sassygirl reported that Kamikaze had come to her office after a run, stank it up so he got the Lack Of Deodorant Award. When asked what he was doing, he immediately got himself a Lost in Translation Award (I know he meant he was looking for a fax, but that is NOT how it sounded!). SOTB continued tormenting Poumuli, having spotted him breaking Wahoo’s coconut by cracking the wrong end. Also Selena was called for the Spiked Drinks Award, as no one but Eveready could remember anything from Saturday.
As this was run number 1482, Poumuli had done some research on what happened that year, only to find an anniversary for the Flemish artist Hugo van der Goes, so of course our only Dutch hasher with a similar name got this award – Goer. (Tony Blair has since vowed a payback as he claims that the Dutch are not Flemish – need to research that one).
Larry attempted to get Bits and Pieces for spilling beer, but it backfired. Delicious and Probona were nominated for the Moving Out Without Telling the Parents Where Award, and SOTB got Lewinsky a Hero Award for bringing adequate diet Cokes. Sassygirl was disappointed that Greg had not been wearing his standard hot pants attire, and he was awarded what must now be the Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t Award.
The GM had been asking the runners about the hash, and what had transpired only to find that Lesbian Vampire Killer had set her own run. She dobbed in her accomplices Lewinsky and Probona. SOTB also nominated BlowMe for confusing flour with paint and setting off in the wrong direction. Lewinsky nominated Gordon Ramsey for the Why You Not Cooking Award. Captain Mortein wanted it doubled as Gordon Ramsey had avoided the rethreads, but your Scribe did a quick check to verify that this was a false accusation (more revenge and payback was vowed). BB recounted her blissful meditation on Namua island during the switch being disturbed by a loud Kamikaze, who then proceeded to collapse during his award. Probona wanted SOTB to get the Misleading Advertising Award for claiming the apartment they were moving into was spic and span.
Delicious nominated Crash Bandicoot for nearly giving her a heart attack with his driving, but this should really have been a Living Up To His Hash Name Award. Our newcomer Tammy never got an award before so the GM gave her one for practice. Poumuli got Larry the Competitiveness Award (and even more revenge promised). The GM decided he wanted to give Special Awards to all those who had avoided it, so forward Sassygirl, Strangler, Mad Hatter, Sergeant Major, Slippery, Wahoo, Mr. Whippy, Hobbes.
SOTB recounted how last week’s hash had ended too early for his liking, but that he had been taken to a hotel bar by Gordon Ramsey for what became a very late night. He was joined by Wahoo as a representative of the proprietor, as well as by SOTB. Sergeant Major nominated Crash Bandicoot for not giving a ride to Kamikaze on the way to hash. The GM gave the No Reply Award to Mr. Whippy for not returning his calls, and the You Got Me So Worried I Called the Cops Award to Delicious (she went to see Crash Bandicoot instead of the gym). The GM completed the ceremonies by calling for the Hosts and the Hare. The Hare was absent, so he asked for closest relative. Since it was RingRing, he decided it should be any Samoan who works for a phone company – SOTB, in other words. The Hash then sang the birthday song for Selena.
Great food was served and a lot of shenanigans happened with the pool.
Check the blog for next week’s run.
On On,
Poumuli.
Eveready stepped in as Acting GM, a role he has polished to a tee. Having observed that there were two kegs, he ordered large mugs for the awards, only to be given a lame excuse from Crash Bandicoot as to their whereabouts. The GM used his military intelligence skills to zoom in on the real culprit – Tony Blair – who got the Stealing Hash Property Award, decrying his innocence the whole mug down.
There was one newcomer to Hash, Emi, who had not been told by Flash Gordon about the procedures. That was the first one for Flash Gordon, who joined Snake and Fang as rethreads. New Shoes had been spotted from the very start of the run – Flash Gordon living up to his name indeed.
Celebrity Awards were given to Godfather (a double for that huge photo in the Observer) and Team Desirable with support (full page photo in the Observer) – Swinger, BB, Delicious, SOTB and Crash Bandicoot were those in attendance.
The GM recounted the festivities of the past weekend and how the hosts had only provided for one diet Coke, so the No Respect Award went to Tony Blair. Other hashers who said that they would not be turning up, then did, were given the Last To Leave Award (Crash Bandicoot and Delicious). On the same subject the GM said he was told by Karaoke to go home for the diet Coke, only to hear later that she was dancing on tables. She got a repeat award through Lewinsky who recounted the excessive advertising of flashing assets during said table dance, so Karaoke took the Flaunt It If You’ve Got It Award.
Slippery was doing his usual paparazzi thing, except Delicious and Probona caught him taking boob shots. Slippery claimed he was shooting the t-shirts, so after the vote the girls joined him in the award. Tony Blair nominated Bits and Pieces and Poumuli for the Emancipation Award for also dancing on the table. That got SOTB on a roll – first was an unfortunate usage by the Scribe of a real name for a hasher, second the fact that Underrated had used the wrong hash name on the blog. Oh well, a double award had to be taken by Poumuli. (We have now ascertained that the hash name for last week’s hare is Buzzer, according to Sassygirl and SOTB) SOTB spotted Captain Mortein leaning.
Sassygirl reported that Kamikaze had come to her office after a run, stank it up so he got the Lack Of Deodorant Award. When asked what he was doing, he immediately got himself a Lost in Translation Award (I know he meant he was looking for a fax, but that is NOT how it sounded!). SOTB continued tormenting Poumuli, having spotted him breaking Wahoo’s coconut by cracking the wrong end. Also Selena was called for the Spiked Drinks Award, as no one but Eveready could remember anything from Saturday.
As this was run number 1482, Poumuli had done some research on what happened that year, only to find an anniversary for the Flemish artist Hugo van der Goes, so of course our only Dutch hasher with a similar name got this award – Goer. (Tony Blair has since vowed a payback as he claims that the Dutch are not Flemish – need to research that one).
Larry attempted to get Bits and Pieces for spilling beer, but it backfired. Delicious and Probona were nominated for the Moving Out Without Telling the Parents Where Award, and SOTB got Lewinsky a Hero Award for bringing adequate diet Cokes. Sassygirl was disappointed that Greg had not been wearing his standard hot pants attire, and he was awarded what must now be the Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t Award.
The GM had been asking the runners about the hash, and what had transpired only to find that Lesbian Vampire Killer had set her own run. She dobbed in her accomplices Lewinsky and Probona. SOTB also nominated BlowMe for confusing flour with paint and setting off in the wrong direction. Lewinsky nominated Gordon Ramsey for the Why You Not Cooking Award. Captain Mortein wanted it doubled as Gordon Ramsey had avoided the rethreads, but your Scribe did a quick check to verify that this was a false accusation (more revenge and payback was vowed). BB recounted her blissful meditation on Namua island during the switch being disturbed by a loud Kamikaze, who then proceeded to collapse during his award. Probona wanted SOTB to get the Misleading Advertising Award for claiming the apartment they were moving into was spic and span.
Delicious nominated Crash Bandicoot for nearly giving her a heart attack with his driving, but this should really have been a Living Up To His Hash Name Award. Our newcomer Tammy never got an award before so the GM gave her one for practice. Poumuli got Larry the Competitiveness Award (and even more revenge promised). The GM decided he wanted to give Special Awards to all those who had avoided it, so forward Sassygirl, Strangler, Mad Hatter, Sergeant Major, Slippery, Wahoo, Mr. Whippy, Hobbes.
SOTB recounted how last week’s hash had ended too early for his liking, but that he had been taken to a hotel bar by Gordon Ramsey for what became a very late night. He was joined by Wahoo as a representative of the proprietor, as well as by SOTB. Sergeant Major nominated Crash Bandicoot for not giving a ride to Kamikaze on the way to hash. The GM gave the No Reply Award to Mr. Whippy for not returning his calls, and the You Got Me So Worried I Called the Cops Award to Delicious (she went to see Crash Bandicoot instead of the gym). The GM completed the ceremonies by calling for the Hosts and the Hare. The Hare was absent, so he asked for closest relative. Since it was RingRing, he decided it should be any Samoan who works for a phone company – SOTB, in other words. The Hash then sang the birthday song for Selena.
Great food was served and a lot of shenanigans happened with the pool.
Check the blog for next week’s run.
On On,
Poumuli.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Hash Trash 1481
Apologies for the late arrival of the trash, as your Scribe had to deal with his 5 year old brother’s birthday. (I know – no whining.)
The run was hosted by RingRing and Insecurity out at Alafua. It was a nice day, not too hot, and while many were smarting from the road switch, we were able to assemble a decent pack for the run. Keneti had set the run on paper, but he had run short during the setting so it was with a bit of trepidation that we set out. Showing intolerable competitive spirit, Larry bounded to the front out of the gate. The paper bits were extremely small, but we did get some hints as Keneti cracked up when we took the wrong trail, then he simply pointed out the basic direction. He had been good to his word and we avoided roads for the most part. Into some rough bush sections, twice over dried creeks, and once up a dry creek. Getting to that one involved s rather steep drop, but being amongst the last down Poumuli found a nice hand-hold to avoid the knee-jarring experience of other hashers. At this point we lost most of the slower runners and walkers, and as we passed below Chanel College, many of these had to turn back because of evening prayers curfew. The trail took us down the road from Chanel, past angry dogs and finally back to the home stretch where the beer was finally being delivered by Lewinsky and SOTB. The latter should have got an award for trying to trick hashers into chariot-riding. As mentioned the walkers were a bit behind, but we avoided a search party as they ambled through the gate. So an all-round good run set by Keneti that gave us a good variety of trail.
Greg stepped in (it) as Acting GM. After a few false starts the circle got formed and newcomers to Apia Hash were welcomed – Aroha from Auckland and Monique from Hamilton – or at least they were both from NZ. They had been brought by Probona who must have explained the rules well. Rethreads were Hobbes, X-rated and Keneti. Feeble excuses were offered ranging from a trip to Germany, a pulled quadriceps (yes, your Scribe knew the answer to the GM’s question) and being too busy.
The GM appointed Zsa Zsa temporary shoe inspector, but first he got the name wrong and had his own award. Zsa Zsa tried to deflect attention from his own shoes, claiming they had been to three hashes (we will have to check the photo page on that one – a false accusation OR lying to the hash – both serious offences). After slowly gulping his award he again tried to get a pair of more feminine shoes into the circle, but the circle over-ruled him. Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky (wedding page in Woman’s Time, waving royally), Wahoo (grand-dad in the Observer, plus a sister and a cousin), Dawn Raid (TV appearance, although no-one got him for belittling the female runners) and SOTB came in late for one of Sassygirl’s numerous Observer appearances.
When the GM called for nominations Poumuli offered the They Won’t Let Her Return To Her Own Country Award for Seema, as she had been given a very non-Bula reception by Air Pacific. SOTB, on a point of order, got the chattering mob of Dawn Raid, Chilindria, Zsa Zsa and Selena a down-down, which Tony Blair had to assist with otherwise we would still be there now. Chilindria pointed out that the GM had used her real name, after having told him many times her hash name, but after a vote they both got the award. Larry nominated Dawn Raid for being the Fast Runner Who Smokes Award, but later SOTB and Poumuli got him a double for his competitiveness and unhashlike behaviour (people will think we are some sort of sporting club!).
SOTB nominated Captain Mortein for the Hard Man Award, which was nearly doubled for shaking a baby rattle at the GM. Eveready took the floor to describe disgraceful behaviour of a hasher who came home late, found the doors and gates locked and slept in the car all night instead. Crash Bandicoot living up to half his name, then.
Dawn Raid most unfairly picked on Poumuli for waking him up to fetch Wahoo, but as Dawn Raid was by this point incoherent (medical term – blitzed) he got Wahoo’s name wrong and had to join in. Tony Blair nominated Goer for the Dutch Radio Celebrity Award (apparently she had been on twice; lucky no one listens to the On the Mat programme on Radio Oz), but Bits and Pieces had to assist. SOTB could not be stopped and nominated Lewinsky for the Hero Award for getting the keg. Insecurity joined in, but got Dawn Raid an ancillary award for profanity. At this point Poumuli got the For Absolutely No Reason Award, Gordon Ramsey the Sitting Down Award, and Insecurity nearly got the Can’t Finish The Story Award – but it got so confusing that SOTB took it instead. There was some further profanity and something about hashers running hand in hand that your Scribe missed, the result being Dawn Raid inside the circle for the final touches on what was to become a very loud, burpy trip home.
The GM thanked the hosts RingRing and Insecurity and Keneti the Hare, but as the foam on the beer made awards impossible a Non-Award was given. The hash was then treated to a very nice spread of food.
Next hash will be Selena’s Birthday Hash at Selena and Tony Blair’s house.
On On,
Poumuli.
The run was hosted by RingRing and Insecurity out at Alafua. It was a nice day, not too hot, and while many were smarting from the road switch, we were able to assemble a decent pack for the run. Keneti had set the run on paper, but he had run short during the setting so it was with a bit of trepidation that we set out. Showing intolerable competitive spirit, Larry bounded to the front out of the gate. The paper bits were extremely small, but we did get some hints as Keneti cracked up when we took the wrong trail, then he simply pointed out the basic direction. He had been good to his word and we avoided roads for the most part. Into some rough bush sections, twice over dried creeks, and once up a dry creek. Getting to that one involved s rather steep drop, but being amongst the last down Poumuli found a nice hand-hold to avoid the knee-jarring experience of other hashers. At this point we lost most of the slower runners and walkers, and as we passed below Chanel College, many of these had to turn back because of evening prayers curfew. The trail took us down the road from Chanel, past angry dogs and finally back to the home stretch where the beer was finally being delivered by Lewinsky and SOTB. The latter should have got an award for trying to trick hashers into chariot-riding. As mentioned the walkers were a bit behind, but we avoided a search party as they ambled through the gate. So an all-round good run set by Keneti that gave us a good variety of trail.
Greg stepped in (it) as Acting GM. After a few false starts the circle got formed and newcomers to Apia Hash were welcomed – Aroha from Auckland and Monique from Hamilton – or at least they were both from NZ. They had been brought by Probona who must have explained the rules well. Rethreads were Hobbes, X-rated and Keneti. Feeble excuses were offered ranging from a trip to Germany, a pulled quadriceps (yes, your Scribe knew the answer to the GM’s question) and being too busy.
The GM appointed Zsa Zsa temporary shoe inspector, but first he got the name wrong and had his own award. Zsa Zsa tried to deflect attention from his own shoes, claiming they had been to three hashes (we will have to check the photo page on that one – a false accusation OR lying to the hash – both serious offences). After slowly gulping his award he again tried to get a pair of more feminine shoes into the circle, but the circle over-ruled him. Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky (wedding page in Woman’s Time, waving royally), Wahoo (grand-dad in the Observer, plus a sister and a cousin), Dawn Raid (TV appearance, although no-one got him for belittling the female runners) and SOTB came in late for one of Sassygirl’s numerous Observer appearances.
When the GM called for nominations Poumuli offered the They Won’t Let Her Return To Her Own Country Award for Seema, as she had been given a very non-Bula reception by Air Pacific. SOTB, on a point of order, got the chattering mob of Dawn Raid, Chilindria, Zsa Zsa and Selena a down-down, which Tony Blair had to assist with otherwise we would still be there now. Chilindria pointed out that the GM had used her real name, after having told him many times her hash name, but after a vote they both got the award. Larry nominated Dawn Raid for being the Fast Runner Who Smokes Award, but later SOTB and Poumuli got him a double for his competitiveness and unhashlike behaviour (people will think we are some sort of sporting club!).
SOTB nominated Captain Mortein for the Hard Man Award, which was nearly doubled for shaking a baby rattle at the GM. Eveready took the floor to describe disgraceful behaviour of a hasher who came home late, found the doors and gates locked and slept in the car all night instead. Crash Bandicoot living up to half his name, then.
Dawn Raid most unfairly picked on Poumuli for waking him up to fetch Wahoo, but as Dawn Raid was by this point incoherent (medical term – blitzed) he got Wahoo’s name wrong and had to join in. Tony Blair nominated Goer for the Dutch Radio Celebrity Award (apparently she had been on twice; lucky no one listens to the On the Mat programme on Radio Oz), but Bits and Pieces had to assist. SOTB could not be stopped and nominated Lewinsky for the Hero Award for getting the keg. Insecurity joined in, but got Dawn Raid an ancillary award for profanity. At this point Poumuli got the For Absolutely No Reason Award, Gordon Ramsey the Sitting Down Award, and Insecurity nearly got the Can’t Finish The Story Award – but it got so confusing that SOTB took it instead. There was some further profanity and something about hashers running hand in hand that your Scribe missed, the result being Dawn Raid inside the circle for the final touches on what was to become a very loud, burpy trip home.
The GM thanked the hosts RingRing and Insecurity and Keneti the Hare, but as the foam on the beer made awards impossible a Non-Award was given. The hash was then treated to a very nice spread of food.
Next hash will be Selena’s Birthday Hash at Selena and Tony Blair’s house.
On On,
Poumuli.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Morning to you all,
Hope your Road Switch has gone smoothly. Next week's run will be hosted by Tony Blair and Selena at their home in Tuaefu. Head up past Adria's cakes and head towards the sports complex. Go past the Head of States house and it is on the right hand side, about 100 meters past the bridge. Map is attached for those that don't know where that is....See you all there, On On and safe driving!
SOTB
Hope your Road Switch has gone smoothly. Next week's run will be hosted by Tony Blair and Selena at their home in Tuaefu. Head up past Adria's cakes and head towards the sports complex. Go past the Head of States house and it is on the right hand side, about 100 meters past the bridge. Map is attached for those that don't know where that is....See you all there, On On and safe driving!
SOTB
Friday, September 04, 2009
Hash Run 1481
Afternoon, Hash next week will be hosted by Ring Ring at her home in Alafua. Head up towards the USP Campus and look out for the driveway on the left hand side just after South Pac Rentals.
It may be a good idea to car pool unless you are confident that you will be OK to drive to hash on Monday in your own vehicle. Please take care on the roads..On On and see you there :)
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Hash Trash - 1480
The hash was hosted by Gabor and Abril up at Bank Street in Vaoala. It was a nice pleasantly cool evening, so the pack was rearing to go. For those of us who did the Samoa Perimeter Relay on Saturday, the prospect was not that welcoming, but most of us made it. The run was set on paper and Kamikaze led the pack out the gates down to Bank Street, closely followed by FBI, Swinger and Poumuli. Down the hill we went, and Kamikaze quickly detoured us into someone’s yard – no need for a cross there. We continued down the track, following the same path as we did for Wahoo’s run from Vaoala, but after the river crossing there was another false trail. Our rethread Larry was quite proudly leading the way sending assorted taunts back at Poumuli and Will, but he soon buggered his ankle and left the lead. The trail now led down to the road from SPREP, where we went up to the cow pastures that had been the site of Pussysnatcher’s run from Poumuli’s house last year. This was where most of the relay hashers struggled – that hill up to the farmhouse was never ending. We then proceeded through the tall grass, hidden branches and cowpats until we re-joined the Bank Street track, violating Hash rules about how to set trails! We tried our best to get up the long hill, with FBI exhibiting Unhashlike competitiveness in seeking to ensure Swinger or Poumuli did not beat him to the finish. Terribly bad form that, but we forgot him in the awards, as he seemed to be a constant fixture this week. But all in all a nice run, good views of the countryside and an abundance of cowshit.
POD our GM called the hash circle, and it took some not-so-gentle cattle prodding to get that organized. There was one newcomer to Hash – Tammy from Auckland, who is single, which was a bad thing to admit with Slippery sliding around with his camera. There were many rethreads – Dawn Raid had been playing tennis in Fiji, Woman in Black had returned from crazy Rome just to be with us for the relay, FBI had been meditating (or was it medicating?), Lesbian Vampire Killer had been relaxing in NZ, and Lester had been away – because he lives in the States. Sassygirl nearly avoided detection, but admitted to having had a bula f’ing marvellous time.
Celebrity Awards were given to Rebecca (relay photo in Observer), Godfather (Sinalei) and with Lester (relay run story), Gabor (climate change workshop), Sassygirl (SUNGO newsletter) and Mighty Mouse (Ms Samoa contestant). Since Mighty Mouse was absent and no close relative could be dobbed in, she gave the award to Crash Bandicoot as having the closest resemblance to a mouse (I guess she meant his foxy hash name?). But OMG was he slow in delivery!
The GM awarded Kamikaze the Living Up to Hash Name Award as he had been spotted running at Malifa, and would have arrived around now if the GM hadn’t given him a lift (should have been a geographically challenged award). The GM noted Eveready’s speechifying skills had slipped during the relay awards ceremony and he had cracked under pressure by letting FBI speak (ramble) so he got the Never Let FBI Speak Award.
The GM then dragged Poumuli forward and gave him an earful for helpfully pointing out the in the year 1480 the Spanish Inquisition commenced (no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!), and he had to join all the Spanish speaking hashers in this award – Dawn Raid, Tony Blair, Selena, Eveready, Gabor, Abril and FBI.
A further hilarious language mix up was the re-told, of how Woman in Black had requested a fofo from the masseuses, but got confused by Pussysnatcher’s annunciation making it sound like foufou – which although related are entirely different things. Ring Ring got included in the award, as did Pussysnatcher for loosing a false accusation.
The GM then recounted how Karaoke had been unhappy about not getting to see the Musclemania Show, but instead had to go to the relay awards and post-party, and then taking it out on Eveready, who said something about him being a high-end machine again. Sassygirl noted how privileged she had been to be part of the relay support team, but complained about the number, frequency and timing of BB’s calls of nature. During one of them she was actually on the loo when Pussysnatcher approached the exchange line. BB in her defence blamed Woman in Black for feeding her pawpaws and Ring Ring for leading her astray on Gatorade, but she took her Unfortunate Toilet Stories Award with aplomb.
SOTB wanted to nominate Eveready for claiming that SOTB was the craziest driver of the relay, which he felt was ill-deserved (it was Godfather’s truck), and that the craziest must be Seema. After a vote they both got the award. At this point the GM recalled how Gabor had extolled the beauty of today’s run and how we had not seen these parts of Samoa – not! Also the double back was included, so Gabor took the big mug for the Blatant Exaggeration Award. BB nominated Pussysnatcher for the Romantic Award, having been seen kissing his girlfriend while on the last leg of the relay.
FBI sought out a Disloyalty To Hash Award for Delicious, as she had refused to give up her chair to him during the relay. In her defence she said that walking it off was the best way to recover and that she had given her all to supporting the team ( we all second that!). Delicious demanded a big one for Lewinsky since he had failed to provide non-alcoholic drinks for our sundry pregnancies, nursing mothers and Mormons.
Further details emerged from the relay. BB nominated Sassygirl for the Loudmouth Cheerleader Award, as her voice had caused rocks to be launched at their support truck. And for those hashers who chose to run the relay for non-Hash teams – the Traitor Award went to Rebecca and Kamikaze. Rebecca had to be assisted by Lesbian Vampire Killer.
As a result of some post-relay jollity, Seema nominated Crash Bandicoot and Pussysnatcher for the Nipple Arousal Award since they had applied her milk frother to each other (there was also some attempt at using it elsewhere, but this is a family hash after all! Disgusting, boys.).
Poumuli nominated Kamikaze for the Brotherly Love Award for having given him a moment of sheer bliss as Dawn Raid was thrashed on the last relay leg by 8 metres. BB nominated the support teams for Service Beyond the Call of Duty Award (Delicious, SOTB, Crash, Seema and Sassy were present). Eveready then thanked the Hash for its great contribution, spirit and for having brought honor to the memories of Desirable and Shafter, and especially thanked Godfather. Godfather in turn saluted those who ran, even as we got tired we persevered and he was grateful to be able to complete, knowing well that it would have been impossible without the support team. He also acknowledged Lester for the inspiration that he had contributed. “Keep fit, keep going and enjoy the company”. He also gave a special thanks to the US Veterans Association, and congratulated Team Desirable even though Team Shafter beat them!
Lester then thanked the Hash for being able to take part, as he had a good time, enjoyed the company and to be able to run with old and new friends. A reward was then collected for the masseuses who had made our recovery so much swifter.
At this point the Hash Monk appeared (it was more like a Monkess, or can you say fa’fa nun? A voice similar to Cindy). After yelling at Slippery for taking a flash photo up her skirt, she called forward Will. Since he does some funny things with wind (renewable energy) he shall from now be called BlowMe. She then called forward Emma, who she had heard was tough in cracking the whip, so she shall now be called Sergeant Major.
She then called forward Morten, a gentleman misbehaving – not once, but twice – in the tropics. He shall now be called Captain Mortein.
Gabor was called forward, well he crawled, and being reminded that he drinks like a warm temperamental woman, he shall now be called Zsa Zsa.(after his countrywoman from Hungary also known as Sári Prinzessin von Anhalt – oh what obscure nonsense your Scribe knows!). Abril was then summoned, and as she too reminded the Monk of a temperamental actress, she shall now be called Chilindrina.
Being quite woozy at this point the GM excused the Hare and Hosts after thanking them. Next week’s run – in the middle of the road switch – will be hosted by Ring Ring in Alofua.
On On
Poumuli
POD our GM called the hash circle, and it took some not-so-gentle cattle prodding to get that organized. There was one newcomer to Hash – Tammy from Auckland, who is single, which was a bad thing to admit with Slippery sliding around with his camera. There were many rethreads – Dawn Raid had been playing tennis in Fiji, Woman in Black had returned from crazy Rome just to be with us for the relay, FBI had been meditating (or was it medicating?), Lesbian Vampire Killer had been relaxing in NZ, and Lester had been away – because he lives in the States. Sassygirl nearly avoided detection, but admitted to having had a bula f’ing marvellous time.
Celebrity Awards were given to Rebecca (relay photo in Observer), Godfather (Sinalei) and with Lester (relay run story), Gabor (climate change workshop), Sassygirl (SUNGO newsletter) and Mighty Mouse (Ms Samoa contestant). Since Mighty Mouse was absent and no close relative could be dobbed in, she gave the award to Crash Bandicoot as having the closest resemblance to a mouse (I guess she meant his foxy hash name?). But OMG was he slow in delivery!
The GM awarded Kamikaze the Living Up to Hash Name Award as he had been spotted running at Malifa, and would have arrived around now if the GM hadn’t given him a lift (should have been a geographically challenged award). The GM noted Eveready’s speechifying skills had slipped during the relay awards ceremony and he had cracked under pressure by letting FBI speak (ramble) so he got the Never Let FBI Speak Award.
The GM then dragged Poumuli forward and gave him an earful for helpfully pointing out the in the year 1480 the Spanish Inquisition commenced (no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!), and he had to join all the Spanish speaking hashers in this award – Dawn Raid, Tony Blair, Selena, Eveready, Gabor, Abril and FBI.
A further hilarious language mix up was the re-told, of how Woman in Black had requested a fofo from the masseuses, but got confused by Pussysnatcher’s annunciation making it sound like foufou – which although related are entirely different things. Ring Ring got included in the award, as did Pussysnatcher for loosing a false accusation.
The GM then recounted how Karaoke had been unhappy about not getting to see the Musclemania Show, but instead had to go to the relay awards and post-party, and then taking it out on Eveready, who said something about him being a high-end machine again. Sassygirl noted how privileged she had been to be part of the relay support team, but complained about the number, frequency and timing of BB’s calls of nature. During one of them she was actually on the loo when Pussysnatcher approached the exchange line. BB in her defence blamed Woman in Black for feeding her pawpaws and Ring Ring for leading her astray on Gatorade, but she took her Unfortunate Toilet Stories Award with aplomb.
SOTB wanted to nominate Eveready for claiming that SOTB was the craziest driver of the relay, which he felt was ill-deserved (it was Godfather’s truck), and that the craziest must be Seema. After a vote they both got the award. At this point the GM recalled how Gabor had extolled the beauty of today’s run and how we had not seen these parts of Samoa – not! Also the double back was included, so Gabor took the big mug for the Blatant Exaggeration Award. BB nominated Pussysnatcher for the Romantic Award, having been seen kissing his girlfriend while on the last leg of the relay.
FBI sought out a Disloyalty To Hash Award for Delicious, as she had refused to give up her chair to him during the relay. In her defence she said that walking it off was the best way to recover and that she had given her all to supporting the team ( we all second that!). Delicious demanded a big one for Lewinsky since he had failed to provide non-alcoholic drinks for our sundry pregnancies, nursing mothers and Mormons.
Further details emerged from the relay. BB nominated Sassygirl for the Loudmouth Cheerleader Award, as her voice had caused rocks to be launched at their support truck. And for those hashers who chose to run the relay for non-Hash teams – the Traitor Award went to Rebecca and Kamikaze. Rebecca had to be assisted by Lesbian Vampire Killer.
As a result of some post-relay jollity, Seema nominated Crash Bandicoot and Pussysnatcher for the Nipple Arousal Award since they had applied her milk frother to each other (there was also some attempt at using it elsewhere, but this is a family hash after all! Disgusting, boys.).
Poumuli nominated Kamikaze for the Brotherly Love Award for having given him a moment of sheer bliss as Dawn Raid was thrashed on the last relay leg by 8 metres. BB nominated the support teams for Service Beyond the Call of Duty Award (Delicious, SOTB, Crash, Seema and Sassy were present). Eveready then thanked the Hash for its great contribution, spirit and for having brought honor to the memories of Desirable and Shafter, and especially thanked Godfather. Godfather in turn saluted those who ran, even as we got tired we persevered and he was grateful to be able to complete, knowing well that it would have been impossible without the support team. He also acknowledged Lester for the inspiration that he had contributed. “Keep fit, keep going and enjoy the company”. He also gave a special thanks to the US Veterans Association, and congratulated Team Desirable even though Team Shafter beat them!
Lester then thanked the Hash for being able to take part, as he had a good time, enjoyed the company and to be able to run with old and new friends. A reward was then collected for the masseuses who had made our recovery so much swifter.
At this point the Hash Monk appeared (it was more like a Monkess, or can you say fa’fa nun? A voice similar to Cindy). After yelling at Slippery for taking a flash photo up her skirt, she called forward Will. Since he does some funny things with wind (renewable energy) he shall from now be called BlowMe. She then called forward Emma, who she had heard was tough in cracking the whip, so she shall now be called Sergeant Major.
She then called forward Morten, a gentleman misbehaving – not once, but twice – in the tropics. He shall now be called Captain Mortein.
Gabor was called forward, well he crawled, and being reminded that he drinks like a warm temperamental woman, he shall now be called Zsa Zsa.(after his countrywoman from Hungary also known as Sári Prinzessin von Anhalt – oh what obscure nonsense your Scribe knows!). Abril was then summoned, and as she too reminded the Monk of a temperamental actress, she shall now be called Chilindrina.
Being quite woozy at this point the GM excused the Hare and Hosts after thanking them. Next week’s run – in the middle of the road switch – will be hosted by Ring Ring in Alofua.
On On
Poumuli
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