Hash Trash 1481

Apologies for the late arrival of the trash, as your Scribe had to deal with his 5 year old brother’s birthday. (I know – no whining.)

The run was hosted by RingRing and Insecurity out at Alafua. It was a nice day, not too hot, and while many were smarting from the road switch, we were able to assemble a decent pack for the run. Keneti had set the run on paper, but he had run short during the setting so it was with a bit of trepidation that we set out. Showing intolerable competitive spirit, Larry bounded to the front out of the gate. The paper bits were extremely small, but we did get some hints as Keneti cracked up when we took the wrong trail, then he simply pointed out the basic direction. He had been good to his word and we avoided roads for the most part. Into some rough bush sections, twice over dried creeks, and once up a dry creek. Getting to that one involved s rather steep drop, but being amongst the last down Poumuli found a nice hand-hold to avoid the knee-jarring experience of other hashers. At this point we lost most of the slower runners and walkers, and as we passed below Chanel College, many of these had to turn back because of evening prayers curfew. The trail took us down the road from Chanel, past angry dogs and finally back to the home stretch where the beer was finally being delivered by Lewinsky and SOTB. The latter should have got an award for trying to trick hashers into chariot-riding. As mentioned the walkers were a bit behind, but we avoided a search party as they ambled through the gate. So an all-round good run set by Keneti that gave us a good variety of trail.

Greg stepped in (it) as Acting GM. After a few false starts the circle got formed and newcomers to Apia Hash were welcomed – Aroha from Auckland and Monique from Hamilton – or at least they were both from NZ. They had been brought by Probona who must have explained the rules well. Rethreads were Hobbes, X-rated and Keneti. Feeble excuses were offered ranging from a trip to Germany, a pulled quadriceps (yes, your Scribe knew the answer to the GM’s question) and being too busy.

The GM appointed Zsa Zsa temporary shoe inspector, but first he got the name wrong and had his own award. Zsa Zsa tried to deflect attention from his own shoes, claiming they had been to three hashes (we will have to check the photo page on that one – a false accusation OR lying to the hash – both serious offences). After slowly gulping his award he again tried to get a pair of more feminine shoes into the circle, but the circle over-ruled him. Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky (wedding page in Woman’s Time, waving royally), Wahoo (grand-dad in the Observer, plus a sister and a cousin), Dawn Raid (TV appearance, although no-one got him for belittling the female runners) and SOTB came in late for one of Sassygirl’s numerous Observer appearances.

When the GM called for nominations Poumuli offered the They Won’t Let Her Return To Her Own Country Award for Seema, as she had been given a very non-Bula reception by Air Pacific. SOTB, on a point of order, got the chattering mob of Dawn Raid, Chilindria, Zsa Zsa and Selena a down-down, which Tony Blair had to assist with otherwise we would still be there now. Chilindria pointed out that the GM had used her real name, after having told him many times her hash name, but after a vote they both got the award. Larry nominated Dawn Raid for being the Fast Runner Who Smokes Award, but later SOTB and Poumuli got him a double for his competitiveness and unhashlike behaviour (people will think we are some sort of sporting club!).

SOTB nominated Captain Mortein for the Hard Man Award, which was nearly doubled for shaking a baby rattle at the GM. Eveready took the floor to describe disgraceful behaviour of a hasher who came home late, found the doors and gates locked and slept in the car all night instead. Crash Bandicoot living up to half his name, then.

Dawn Raid most unfairly picked on Poumuli for waking him up to fetch Wahoo, but as Dawn Raid was by this point incoherent (medical term – blitzed) he got Wahoo’s name wrong and had to join in. Tony Blair nominated Goer for the Dutch Radio Celebrity Award (apparently she had been on twice; lucky no one listens to the On the Mat programme on Radio Oz), but Bits and Pieces had to assist. SOTB could not be stopped and nominated Lewinsky for the Hero Award for getting the keg. Insecurity joined in, but got Dawn Raid an ancillary award for profanity. At this point Poumuli got the For Absolutely No Reason Award, Gordon Ramsey the Sitting Down Award, and Insecurity nearly got the Can’t Finish The Story Award – but it got so confusing that SOTB took it instead. There was some further profanity and something about hashers running hand in hand that your Scribe missed, the result being Dawn Raid inside the circle for the final touches on what was to become a very loud, burpy trip home.

The GM thanked the hosts RingRing and Insecurity and Keneti the Hare, but as the foam on the beer made awards impossible a Non-Award was given. The hash was then treated to a very nice spread of food.

Next hash will be Selena’s Birthday Hash at Selena and Tony Blair’s house.

On On,

Poumuli.

Morning to you all,
Hope your Road Switch has gone smoothly. Next week's run will be hosted by Tony Blair and Selena at their home in Tuaefu. Head up past Adria's cakes and head towards the sports complex. Go past the Head of States house and it is on the right hand side, about 100 meters past the bridge. Map is attached for those that don't know where that is....See you all there, On On and safe driving!

SOTB

Hash Run 1481

Afternoon, Hash next week will be hosted by Ring Ring at her home in Alafua. Head up towards the USP Campus and look out for the driveway on the left hand side just after South Pac Rentals.
It may be a good idea to car pool unless you are confident that you will be OK to drive to hash on Monday in your own vehicle. Please take care on the roads..On On and see you there :)

Hash Trash - 1480

The hash was hosted by Gabor and Abril up at Bank Street in Vaoala. It was a nice pleasantly cool evening, so the pack was rearing to go. For those of us who did the Samoa Perimeter Relay on Saturday, the prospect was not that welcoming, but most of us made it. The run was set on paper and Kamikaze led the pack out the gates down to Bank Street, closely followed by FBI, Swinger and Poumuli. Down the hill we went, and Kamikaze quickly detoured us into someone’s yard – no need for a cross there. We continued down the track, following the same path as we did for Wahoo’s run from Vaoala, but after the river crossing there was another false trail. Our rethread Larry was quite proudly leading the way sending assorted taunts back at Poumuli and Will, but he soon buggered his ankle and left the lead. The trail now led down to the road from SPREP, where we went up to the cow pastures that had been the site of Pussysnatcher’s run from Poumuli’s house last year. This was where most of the relay hashers struggled – that hill up to the farmhouse was never ending. We then proceeded through the tall grass, hidden branches and cowpats until we re-joined the Bank Street track, violating Hash rules about how to set trails! We tried our best to get up the long hill, with FBI exhibiting Unhashlike competitiveness in seeking to ensure Swinger or Poumuli did not beat him to the finish. Terribly bad form that, but we forgot him in the awards, as he seemed to be a constant fixture this week. But all in all a nice run, good views of the countryside and an abundance of cowshit.

POD our GM called the hash circle, and it took some not-so-gentle cattle prodding to get that organized. There was one newcomer to Hash – Tammy from Auckland, who is single, which was a bad thing to admit with Slippery sliding around with his camera. There were many rethreads – Dawn Raid had been playing tennis in Fiji, Woman in Black had returned from crazy Rome just to be with us for the relay, FBI had been meditating (or was it medicating?), Lesbian Vampire Killer had been relaxing in NZ, and Lester had been away – because he lives in the States. Sassygirl nearly avoided detection, but admitted to having had a bula f’ing marvellous time.

Celebrity Awards were given to Rebecca (relay photo in Observer), Godfather (Sinalei) and with Lester (relay run story), Gabor (climate change workshop), Sassygirl (SUNGO newsletter) and Mighty Mouse (Ms Samoa contestant). Since Mighty Mouse was absent and no close relative could be dobbed in, she gave the award to Crash Bandicoot as having the closest resemblance to a mouse (I guess she meant his foxy hash name?). But OMG was he slow in delivery!

The GM awarded Kamikaze the Living Up to Hash Name Award as he had been spotted running at Malifa, and would have arrived around now if the GM hadn’t given him a lift (should have been a geographically challenged award). The GM noted Eveready’s speechifying skills had slipped during the relay awards ceremony and he had cracked under pressure by letting FBI speak (ramble) so he got the Never Let FBI Speak Award.

The GM then dragged Poumuli forward and gave him an earful for helpfully pointing out the in the year 1480 the Spanish Inquisition commenced (no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!), and he had to join all the Spanish speaking hashers in this award – Dawn Raid, Tony Blair, Selena, Eveready, Gabor, Abril and FBI.

A further hilarious language mix up was the re-told, of how Woman in Black had requested a fofo from the masseuses, but got confused by Pussysnatcher’s annunciation making it sound like foufou – which although related are entirely different things. Ring Ring got included in the award, as did Pussysnatcher for loosing a false accusation.

The GM then recounted how Karaoke had been unhappy about not getting to see the Musclemania Show, but instead had to go to the relay awards and post-party, and then taking it out on Eveready, who said something about him being a high-end machine again. Sassygirl noted how privileged she had been to be part of the relay support team, but complained about the number, frequency and timing of BB’s calls of nature. During one of them she was actually on the loo when Pussysnatcher approached the exchange line. BB in her defence blamed Woman in Black for feeding her pawpaws and Ring Ring for leading her astray on Gatorade, but she took her Unfortunate Toilet Stories Award with aplomb.

SOTB wanted to nominate Eveready for claiming that SOTB was the craziest driver of the relay, which he felt was ill-deserved (it was Godfather’s truck), and that the craziest must be Seema. After a vote they both got the award. At this point the GM recalled how Gabor had extolled the beauty of today’s run and how we had not seen these parts of Samoa – not! Also the double back was included, so Gabor took the big mug for the Blatant Exaggeration Award. BB nominated Pussysnatcher for the Romantic Award, having been seen kissing his girlfriend while on the last leg of the relay.

FBI sought out a Disloyalty To Hash Award for Delicious, as she had refused to give up her chair to him during the relay. In her defence she said that walking it off was the best way to recover and that she had given her all to supporting the team ( we all second that!). Delicious demanded a big one for Lewinsky since he had failed to provide non-alcoholic drinks for our sundry pregnancies, nursing mothers and Mormons.

Further details emerged from the relay. BB nominated Sassygirl for the Loudmouth Cheerleader Award, as her voice had caused rocks to be launched at their support truck. And for those hashers who chose to run the relay for non-Hash teams – the Traitor Award went to Rebecca and Kamikaze. Rebecca had to be assisted by Lesbian Vampire Killer.

As a result of some post-relay jollity, Seema nominated Crash Bandicoot and Pussysnatcher for the Nipple Arousal Award since they had applied her milk frother to each other (there was also some attempt at using it elsewhere, but this is a family hash after all! Disgusting, boys.).

Poumuli nominated Kamikaze for the Brotherly Love Award for having given him a moment of sheer bliss as Dawn Raid was thrashed on the last relay leg by 8 metres. BB nominated the support teams for Service Beyond the Call of Duty Award (Delicious, SOTB, Crash, Seema and Sassy were present). Eveready then thanked the Hash for its great contribution, spirit and for having brought honor to the memories of Desirable and Shafter, and especially thanked Godfather. Godfather in turn saluted those who ran, even as we got tired we persevered and he was grateful to be able to complete, knowing well that it would have been impossible without the support team. He also acknowledged Lester for the inspiration that he had contributed. “Keep fit, keep going and enjoy the company”. He also gave a special thanks to the US Veterans Association, and congratulated Team Desirable even though Team Shafter beat them!

Lester then thanked the Hash for being able to take part, as he had a good time, enjoyed the company and to be able to run with old and new friends. A reward was then collected for the masseuses who had made our recovery so much swifter.

At this point the Hash Monk appeared (it was more like a Monkess, or can you say fa’fa nun? A voice similar to Cindy). After yelling at Slippery for taking a flash photo up her skirt, she called forward Will. Since he does some funny things with wind (renewable energy) he shall from now be called BlowMe. She then called forward Emma, who she had heard was tough in cracking the whip, so she shall now be called Sergeant Major.

She then called forward Morten, a gentleman misbehaving – not once, but twice – in the tropics. He shall now be called Captain Mortein.

Gabor was called forward, well he crawled, and being reminded that he drinks like a warm temperamental woman, he shall now be called Zsa Zsa.(after his countrywoman from Hungary also known as Sári Prinzessin von Anhalt – oh what obscure nonsense your Scribe knows!). Abril was then summoned, and as she too reminded the Monk of a temperamental actress, she shall now be called Chilindrina.

Being quite woozy at this point the GM excused the Hare and Hosts after thanking them. Next week’s run – in the middle of the road switch – will be hosted by Ring Ring in Alofua.


On On

Poumuli

Hash Run 1480- Abril and Gabor

Morning All, I take it you have all recovered from the long run over the weekend. Well done to both Hash teams that participated in the marathon.

Hash tonight will be hosted by Abril and Gabor up in Vaoala. Head up to Bank St, and drive towards Bits & Pieces and Goers house, turn up the same driveway and its the 2nd house after bits and Pieces and Goers. You should see some paper or flour on the driveway to the house. If you get lost, check the map or call SOTB.

See you all tonight...and there is a whisper that the monk may make an appearance...
On On

NOTICE-

Morning All,
For those involved in the Perimeter Relay, there is a meeting tomorrow morning at 10am at the STA Fale in town. Please if you can attend and you have any questions that you would like to ask, then make yourself available and attend this final meeting.

Good luck to the Hash Teams..

On On
SOTB

Hash Trash - 1479

Your scribe is back again and will try to be better than my useless assistant scribe in relating what happened. Well, the day looked like it was going to be a wet one, and SOTB had warned on the blog that we would get soaked. However, the sun was shining on Taumeasina as the pack arrived. Our host Probona had no idea where the trail went, so our only information was that paper and flour had been used. Off we went down the track to the main road. Poumuli and Mr Whippy leading the charge but soon overtaken by Pussysnatcher, Will, Strangler and Morten. Strangler found the first trail off the main road and took us on a scramble through some fales and over the dike at the back (we have been here before). Through the bushes and into another residential area, Morten quickly picked up the trail with Will and we headed back to the four corners near the UNDP. No false trails, so far, but that changed on the other side of the crossing, and the pack returned for the On Home. All in all a pleasant road run with a bit of bush. Several hashers jumped in the waters off Taumeasina, despite warnings from Swinger about poisonous fish.

POD our GM got the circle started by breaking tradition to wish AC/DC a pleasant trip to Aotearoa for a medical. She welcomed the newcomers to Hash, namely Melissa who is staying with Strangler and Mad Hatter. There were so many rethreads that the GM limited pathetic excuses to those from over seas. These were Bin Garden from NZ, who was here during the jazz hashes, and Larry and Mandy from Oz. Others were Sid the Tall Maori, Delicious, Slippery, Poumuli, etc.

The GM awarded the Hasher in a Rush Award to Godfather for forgetting to lock his door before coming to hash. She had also spotted two chariot riders on the run - Probona and Eveready, and Eveready had to step in to help her with the down-down. The GM then recounted how most hashers had given respectful compliments to her and Happy Feet during the run, except for Larry ("Mama mama susu") and Poumuli (requesting a chariot ride) so two Inappropriate Behaviour Awards were given. Seema, who had been on probation for drunk and disorderly behaviour, had held a party on the weekend during which she skinny-dipped with boys!

Celebrity Awards were given to Gabor (climate change poster boy), Swinger (accusing the government over the new dock), and POD and Lewinsky (double for front page fish). Sid and Gordon Ramsey had to assist with POD's award. But boy was Lewinsky slow in doing his!

As the GM called for nominations, Snake was quick off the mark to target three leaning ladies - Ring Ring, Probona and Wahoo. Sid got Probona's name wrong and had to join in.

SOTB noted that while Slippery had been photographing the hash, he had also been taking photos of his own chest, and that he was wearing Greg-like tight skimpy clothing. The GM agreed that this warranted a double Indecent Exposure Award although Slippery felt it should be a Sex Bomb Award.

Rebecca had been invited to a pool party but had forgotten to bring bathing bottoms, but Melissa had to be her whipping girl.

SOTB rambled on about observing Strangler trying to suss out the trail but there were sufficient witnesses to call this a False Accusation, so both of them got the award after a vote. Poumuli got Pussysnatcher for Excessive Training Award during the SPREP Fun Run.

The GM recounted how Eveready had been to Australia and had been turned down for citizenship due to contracting food poisoning from kangaroo meat (yes, apparently!). Eveready defended himself by stating his doctor's advice not to put low-grade fuel in a high-end engine.

Slippery excused himself from having missed hash, but given that he has been diagnosed with cancer has a valid reason. He wanted to present an award to Godfather who gave up 28 years of avoiding chariot-riding to accompany Slippery, and Godfather accepted the framed gift.

Eveready reminded that he would be a judge during the Perimeter Relay, and encouraged the Hashers that have entered to be the best-dressed team in memory of Desirable.

SOTB showed the GM that he had been repeatedly texted by Kiwi, but the GM couldn't be bothered. Instead she accepted Eveready's nomination to Tony Blair for the Cold Food Award - he had sent his food back to be heated up causing a delay for the dinner companions of over half an hour! The GM called forth Probona for her Birthday Award, then the hares - Lewinsky and SOTB. The hosts were officially Mr and Mrs Lewinsky, although Mrs L did her down down in wine (haven't seen that before).

Check the blog for next week's run.

On On,

Poumuli.

Hash Run 1479- Probona @ Taumeasina

Next weeks run will be hosted by Probona at Taumeasina...Apparently, this will be her last day as a 26 year old??? :p Directions are posted below on the Map, although I think all of you already know where it is. Bring some swimmers if you feel like going for a dip after the run. The keg will be there and all food will be provided by our generous host..thanks probona!

See you all there...Best bring a change of clothes..just in case!

On On

Hash Run 1478 - Mon 17 Aug 2009

We are in for a great treat this Monday with a new venue deep in Aleisa! Crash Bandicoot and Mr. Whippy will be hosting this run in the outback. Keg and soda's will be served from the death van. Hot dogs with fixings will be provided - bring your own grub if you need something else. There will be NO barbecue on-site (Snake, leave the Q at home). Mr. Whippy will bring the Hash nuts.

REMEMBER:
o Leave for Hash EARLY - Aleisa is about a 20 minute drive from Lotopa. So with the construction and traffic as of late, it'll take about 30 minutes to get to the run from town.
o Bring towel and extra shirt - It often rains in Aleisa and gets cool in the evening. Make sure you're able to dry off and stay dry after the run.
o Follow Magic Circus academy signs - Forgot the map / map too weird? Just follow the signs to the Magic Circus training academy (The run is located next to the final Magic Circus sign on the main road; if you get to the academy you went a little too far!).

On On!

Tonight's Hash - Set Your Own Trail

Tonight, you must choose your own venue and set your own trail.

Unfortunately, we accidently scheduled Mr. & Mrs. Whippy for a Holiday Hash. This was a major oversight by both me, Mr. Whippy and our team, as we conduct our Holiday Hashes as BYO Food & Beer runs at the beach at 2pm. BYO runs at neutral venues such as Lalomanu are done due to logistical issues (i.e. closed brewery, low numbers, etc.).

We are very sorry for this mix-up,

Mr. Whippy.

Perimeter Run Meeting Tonight

6:30 PM Tue 04 Aug - Perimeter Relay Team Meeting at the Yacht Club

Currently, relay team members are running Tue and Thu evenings at 5:30 at the Yacht Club. This is in addition to our Hash runs on Mondays. The meeting will follow today's run.

Click here for details on the relay run.

Hash Trash - Run 1477

Your scribe is back from travel, and even food poisoning would not keep him away. The hash was hosted by Emma and Will in Vaivase-Uta, and a large turnout we had. Will came back from setting the trail, deceptively non-sweaty, and the deluded hashers set out up the road. That was the first on-back. The trail led down another path instead, through a number of gardens until we reached the brook, thankfully not too wet. Through the jungle with a number of low branches to avoid and slippery roots. We then ascended a hill to find a track. Kiwi – who was constantly blowing Monica, took us down a completely wrong trail, then back up the hill, only to reacquire the trail parallel to where we were! Down the hill we went, another brook, and up through some more jungle. By this point the scribe was nearly puking, so wasn’t that observant. In any case we rejoined the Vaivase road for the on-home.

The GM called the hash circle to order and there were many newcomers to hash. There was Vampire’s mum (does that make her Mrs Dracula?), Neil from Oz, Nicky – Greg’s daughter with her boyfriend Dennis and Dennis’ mum. Brent, Poumuli and Probona were re-threads who were given the Pathetic Excuses Awards. Some leaners were spotted by SOTB, but the GM forgave them, except when Morten used Swinger’s real name in his defence.

The GM noted that the hash was being held in the EPC compound yet there were no outside lights, so Will got the Service (Non) Award. The GM also pointed to the row of coconuts in the garden and gave Emma the Bad Neighbourly Relations Award for so demarcating her boundaries. Recalling run 1472, the GM noted that Swinger had left his goolies behind on a fence. Since he has been absent for a while, the GM was pleased to announce that the goolies had been found by Poumuli, and were given back to Swinger to hand over to the rightful owner – BB. Poumuli joined in the down-down for recognizing and retrieving the goolies.

Celebrity awards were given to Sassygirl (opining that she trusted the Ministry of Health), FBI (squash tourney winner) and Skankanavian’s closest relation (Lewinsky) had to take hers for a large photo in the Observer.

Getting back to the run, the GM pointed out that Snake had nearly impaled himself on a tree and other sundry obstacles, so he got the Obviously Glasses Don’t Work Award. She turned on Ray Charles for a double Deception Award – he had arrived panting from strolling down the hill from his house, and had pretended to do the run.

SOTB nominated FBI for running the red light in front of the Police station – he tried to defend himself that he was practicing for the road switch – no dice there.

Poumuli recalled how one of the hashers was rightly famous throughout the Pacific, but he was very surprised to find an Annandale Estate, Falls and Resort in Grenada in the Caribbean. Godfather got a Tax Haven Award for that. Swinger had to join later as he is also in the Annandale clan.

Sassygirl nominated Kiwi for bringing back Monica (the bugle) and for lustily blowing her. Greg nominated Morten for Deception, as he had been wearing two different shoes for the run, and then removed them for the circle. Morten countered by accusing Greg of disloyalty to hash for joining the NZ team for the perimeter run. Greg had to remain in the circle as SOTB nominated him for finally wearing hash friendly shorts and not those mini-things he normally runs in.

Snake nominated Kiwi for the Global Warming Award – he had driven the 100 yards from his house to the hash. Lewinsky nominated Seema for a Drunk and Disorderly Award, but had to join her for a Chivalry Award for driving her home.

The GM spotted several latecomers – Bits and Pieces, Goer, Wylie Kylie and Kamikaze – they claimed to have been enjoying a full moon run – so they got the Mooning Award. Sassygirl had to step in to help Goer.

SOTB and Snake identified Greg’s daughters shoes as being new (no more that ten days old according to Snake’s nose), and she was horrified as she drank from the shoe. Don’t think she will be back…

As the keg was running low, the GM called the proceedings to a halt. The hare (Will) and the host (Emma) took their awards. The hash was treated to a sumptuous feast by Emma and several helpers, and the evening was enjoyed by all.

The next run will be at Mr and Mrs Whippy in Lotopa.

On On,

Poumuli.

Congratulations Oink & JW

Congrats to Oink and JW who are now engaged..All the best and we're looking forward to a tropical island wedding, or at least another visit to Samoa some time soon.

On On

Hash 1477- Vaivase- Uta@ Will and Emma's Place.

Hey team,

Hash next week (3rd August 2009) will be hosted by Will and Emma at the EPC Compound at Vaivase Uta. Food will be provided by the hosts (thanks guys)
Directions: Past NUS, past Samoa College, turn right after the bend then second right at the Rees Hirage sign. It is then the second gate on the right and the second house you come to in the compound. If you get lost, call SOTB on 7500767 <---This is not advertising!

Hash Run 1476 - Mon 27 Jul 2009

Hash Run #1476 will be hosted by Morten and family up at his flat in Vaoala (see map). His flat is in Einstein's compound - next to Tramp's and Crown of Thorns old flats. We are not sure which house, so use your Hash skills and look for paper and/or lots of cars.

See you there,

On On!

Celebrating Snake's 1000th

We've posted over 90 photos from Snake's 1,000th run to the Hash Photo Albums. Check-out the Hash Trash to read about this great run. Many thanks to Slippery and Delicious for the photos.

On On!

Hash Trash - Run 1475

Your official scribe is away so you are stuck with the incomplete scrambled false memories of Mr. Whippy.

Slippery, Susanne & Kiwi hosted Monday’s run at Slippery’s residence in Vaivase. There was limited parking space, but with creative parking we made do. Several were dressed in Christmas attire as per the theme and some completely forgot i.e. Mr. Whippy. The run started about 15 minutes late. The run started well but soon came to a screeching halt with everyone trying to find the trail that leads out of the Vaivase ravine. After 20 minutes or so, the troops gave up and made their own trail, eventually circling back on home. Some, like Lewinski and FBI did an extended run to help prepare for the upcoming perimeter relay.

The troops arrived back at Slippery’s. The keg was ready but soda missing. Lewinski recruited Mr. Whippy and they did an emergency run to take care of our soda drinkers. Snake cornered many, getting people to sign-up for Hash Cash. BB and Ring Ring accepted the Hare Raiser position, and quickly went about gathering all the scheduling materials and info from Snake and crew.

Tonight’s guest GM was Crash Bandicoot. Crash called the Hash circle and the awards began. There were a few new boots who are only here for this week. They sailed to Samoa and are staying at the Marina. They were in great spirits. We had about (6) retreads as well – was busy pouring the beer so can’t remember who they were! There were no new boots.

Crash commenced the GM’s awards. FBI was tagged for something, but Snake had to drink for him (the logic? Snake was the closest relative). Ray Charles was tagged for admitting that he didn’t drive his brand spanking new red truck last week because it was raining. Lewinski got tagged with a double down-down for arranging for Happy Feet’s care so that he can smooch Princess of Darkness, then later having the smooch marks to show for it. Kiwi, Suzanne, Slippery, and Son of the Bitch got tagged for confusing the troops with the trail they set. Tony Blair got zapped for his especially creative parking job using the local sidewalks.

Then the Monk showed-up. Cursing and shouts announced her entrance as she tackled a tree. The Monk quickly called Michael front and center. Recalling Michael’s spirited visiting and enjoyment of Samoa’s tourist hang-outs, the Monk named him Strangler. The Strangler was especially naughty during his naming, feeling-up the Monk! After the Monk peeled-off the Strangler, the Monk pointed to Heather and called her forward. The Monk spoke about Heather’s affinity for making and wearing all sorts of hats and thus named her the Mad Hatter. Then the Monk spotted Susanne. The Monk recited Susanne’s history of bloodletting and the Monk being inspired by the latest hit at Magic Cinema, Lesbian Vampire Killers (this can’t really be a movie can it?), named Susanne the Vampire Killer.

After the naming, the Monk did a pole dance, followed by a farewell down-down.

Then the floor for nominations opened. Crash got tagged for a huge photo in the paper for which he quickly retorted, “it’s about time we got somebody else in there.” And there were a few more nominations of the usual variety. The former GM, Eveready announced that he and Karaoke will sponsor one of the Hash perimeter relay teams – Team Desirable. He said that although they may be in New Zealand during the run, that they will be with us in spirit. He also said that he wanted team Desirable to wear the color PINK. Crash then called-up the Hair and the Hosts, and finished with the customary down-downs.

At that point Slippery and crew handed out candles and Christmas song sheets. Godfather then led us through a brilliant set of Christmas songs. Once complete, the circle closed, and the forces rushed the table of yummy food.

On On!

Mr. Whippy.

I Want YOU to Host a Run

Hash is great fun for us all. Where else can you join your friends for a fun island run, some food, and usually all the beer/soda you can drink for $15? You can't. What makes this great experience possible is you. Everyone doing their little part so that Hash can be enjoyed by all each Monday.

Hosting a run is a great way to help Hash and show your support. Plus, it's just good fun. Contact Mr. Whippy and reserve your run today.

For further information about hosting or just being a good Hasher see How Hash Works.

PS: Help us keep hosting costs down and host a BYO Food run.

Hash Trash - Run 1474

Apologies from your Assistant Trainee Scribe in the delivery of the trash, but he was enjoying Savaii. The hash was hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo and Dawn Raid at Luna and Mark Paul’s house in Vaola. A very good turnout of runners and walkers apprehensively gazed down the gorge behind the house but luckily (or not) the run was in the other direction. The pack was led out of the gate by Tallyho and Godfather who immediately took the wrong turn down to the right. Instead the pack had to be forced up the Cross-Island Road, and down Bank Street. Several false trails were ignored, but Brent ran up one we had not even considered. The run continued down into the bush road, and Tallyho gladly ran up to a cross and returned. A lot of energy, that man. The trail led on to a jungle trail, over an up through the river into the forest conservation area, through a family garden and onto the road above Myna’s. Then it was on home up the Cross-Island Road, which most took at a walking pace.

Godfather had again provided us with his sweet nuts that all enjoyed.

Since it was Tallyho’s last run with us before returning to Fiji he was named Interim GM for the evening’s proceedings. With his by name trade-marked loudness, he barked the circle into order, using profanity seldom heard in our family hash. He called for a run report but none was given, to which he retorted – well bugger you lot then. There would be more of that.

He first called on the rethreads to step forward and there were many – Godmother, Pussysnatcher, Probona, Tony Blair, Selena. None had any worthy excuses so were told to bugger off without a down-down. Then there were those new to Apia Hash, these included Endre, Kjetil, Kristin and Øystein Hallre from Norway, Lauli Paul, Kathy from Australia, Bogman and Shithole from Vietnam, Puli from Tokelau, and Ed from Samoa although he jokingly said he was a black Norwegian. Tallyho complained that the visitor statistics for Samoa would now be hopelessly skewed, but told them to bugger off too. Luckily he missed the slip in the introductions that Kristin was visiting not Poumuli but his real name (hah, hah!). But he did get Dawn Raid a down-down for mocking a fellow hashman’s name. He also noted that there were no rules in the hash except no poofters, as he had observed a hashman picking a flower on the trail and placing it behind his ear. What made it worse was that the flower picked was of the type that wilts immediately, so Gabor took his Flowerplucker Award with more speed than usual. The interim GM also raised the issue of the smallness of the cups, so Wahoo got the Too Poor Host Award.

Tallyho has a habit to leave non-hash matters aside, but having observed a hash mere chasing her child in a restaurant and over-hearing four diggers commenting that she was too young to possibly be the mother, the GM awarded her the Beauty Queen Award. She needed a whipping boy, but Lewinsky could not be found (funny how that recurs) so SOTB stepped in.

Celebrity Awards were given to Dawn Raid (tennis article, and concern by PM Key on the return of dawn raids), Poumuli (two climate change articles) and Sassygirl (husband’s photo in paper and ad for PASS).

The GM called for nominations. Slippery complained about the reference to surfboards in the last blog, as he has never owned a surfboard. To demonstrate, he showed the hash what he does have, namely a boogie board and something he described as a hand board. Tallyho denied his request for an award to Poumuli, as no respecting hashman would admit to needing a hand job to get up. Suzanne (popularly Vampire) got an award that again passed quicker than the speed of light, so quick I could not even write down what it was for. The GM spotted a hash mere in the circle with a hat on, and picked on Heather for the offence (although that is not usual in Apia Hash, only when doing the down-down). Never argue with the GM, as Brent found out when trying to get the GM an Undue Sportsmanship Award. Brent complained that he had been passed three times by Tallyho, to which he replied “but you were running backwards, you bastard”.

At this point young Keneti spotted Sassygirl leaning. Tallyho handed the floor to Snake to give us the outcome of the Mismanagement discussions. But first he commended Tallyho for coming even though he was leaving in three hours. Tallyho took the On On Award with aplomb and a large burp. Snake announced that Princess of Darkness would be our new GM for the year, and that Hash Cash would be on a rotational basis. POD took over to applause and announced that the Hareraiser would be Slippery assisted by Kiwi, Crash Bandicoot would handle the Hash Mugs, Poumuli would realize his lifelong dream of becoming the actual Scribe assisted by SOTB, Lewinsky the Brewmaster, Snake the Hash Haberdasher, Mr. Whippy on the Hash Blog, etc.

Now after checking the blog I can see that my record of this was all wrong, and you can read the corrected announcement of the Mismanagement Team on the blog, with several positions unfilled.

The hash was treated to barbeque and salads, with the 2nd Secret Sauce this time, and lovingly prepared by OK and Luna.

So that completes my assistant traineeship.

On On,

Poumuli.
Apia Hash House Harriers Scribe (official)

Mismanagement Team Forming...

The Mismanagement team is forming... Princess of Darkness (POD) has kindly taken the position as GM and is assembling her team. So far the positions are as follows:

o Grandmaster - Princess of Darkness
o Hash Monk (torments & assigns names) - UNFILLED
o Hare Raiser (schedules runs) - BB & Ring Ring
o Brewmaster (gets the beer & soda) - Lewinski
o Hash Cash (manages the cash) - Heather (for July)
o Haberdasher (counts runs & issues shirts) - Fang
o Hash Mugs (keeper of the mugs) - Crash Bandicoot
o Hash Nuts (brings the nuts) - UNFILLED
o Hash BBQ (keeper of the BBQ) - Snake
o Scribes (shares news & maps) - Poumuli & SOTB
o Blog Heads (manages the blog) - Mr. Whippy & SOTB

Samoa Perimeter Relay - Sat 29 Aug 2009

The Apia Hash House Harriers will be participating in the 2009 Samoa Perimeter Relay on Saturday, 29 Aug 2009. The run starts at 5:00am sharp in Sinalei and finishes late in the day downtown. This relay race spans 64 miles. There are 6 people per team and 24 legs of about 4K each for the relay - so each team member runs four legs. BB is organizing the run.

Hash Run 1475 - Mon 20 Jul 2009

Welcome to Apia HASH Run No 1475
5.30pm Monday 20 July 2009

It is the mid year and time for
Christmas in July.

You are invited to come along suitably attired in
Red and White or Yellow and Green.
Elves caps are essential.
There will be some singing of Christmas Songs by candlelight,
good food and much enjoyment of Hash fellowship.

This HASH is at Slippery and Francis’s residence.
(see map below)

The last (TOP) white house above the Main front gate of NUS
(turn up the hill off Vaivase Road).
Our house is opposite the Primary School.

This Hash is sponsored by Slippery, Susanne (Vampire) and Kiwi.
Come along and enjoy a Little Winter Wonderland.

On On, Slippery.

Hash Run 1474 - Mon 13 Jul 2009

Hash Run #1474 will be held up the mountain at Wahoo's home in Vaoala (see SOTB's map). There are rumors that Poumuli's planning a wicked trail with devious falsies, steep mountain sides, thick bush crawls, and deep ravines.

Be sure to arrive on or before 5:30 PM. It gets dark early and we don't want Hashers getting lost in the bush.

On On!

Hash Trash - Run 1473

This was Snake’s 1000th run, an event which is not often seen, so our hosts made sure this would be a memorable one. Snake had commandeered a dump truck from Apia Concrete Products which was waiting for us across from the Snakepit next to Lotemau. As the truck must have been recently used there were plenty of dirty hashers after the short trip up towards the Aai o Fiti area. Not that we needed to be concerned about getting dirty. The trail led up and up into the hills and a few energetic hashers were soon slowing down, particularly when one of Snake’s false trails had been “tampered with by local pickaninnies” according to Tallyho. Nevermind, the trail was re-acquired but many needed help up the next steep slope. Some of the greyer hashers even needed help from a hash mere! As the pack came out onto the top of the hill we were greeted by a delightful twilight, which was ruined by the fact that the next stage was a near-vertical drop down the slipperiest slope in Apia. The number of falls were immeasurable, but Mr. Whippy, Poumuli, Heather and others touched their mulis on the mud. Slippery fell so many times we were thinking of using him as a surfboard. SOTB simply sledded down the hill on his muli. It was slow going, mainly due to congestion at the trickiest spots, but we made it. It was on home down to Vaitele Street and back to the Snakepit.

Princess of Darkness again stepped in as GM, even though we were happy to see the GM (Eveready) and Karaoke back with us. (editor - Eveready has completed his term as GM. A new GM and Mismanagement team are yet to be named.) POD started off with the Rethreads, of which there were many – Sid, Goer, Orgy Georgy, Wahoo, Venom, Snakebite, Skankanavian, Hobbes, Mighty Mouse, Doreen, Natasha – I think that was all.

Apparently our rules have changed from 10 years ago. When the GM called on those new to Apia Hash, a rethread called Worthless stepped in. He was joined by Mouldy Allnight from the Qatar Hash, and neither of them knew the rule as to when to start on their down-down. A new pair of shoes was spotted, and Olsen drank his award with a mixture of fear and loathing.

The Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli, Gabor and Brent for the climate change conference half-page photo, Sassygirl’s attack on government was taken by SOTB (he tried to disown her!) and Dawn Raid for a headline about overstayers needing to return voluntarily.

The GM described the run as a particularly vicious one – well it would be for anyone trying to push a stroller – and gave the Living Up To Your Hash Name award to Slippery. She went on to describe a frantic phone call from a hash mere who had been asked to help Snake with the catering, who upon agreeing had to turn to Crash Bandicoot for help. Lewinsky helpfully pointed out that Crash had held him up for 50 tala for the salad, so Crash joined Delicious in the award. Now fully on a roll, and given that Lewinsky was being lippy, she described how he had taken unfair advantage during a fishing contest at Taumesina and winning the event. He still couldn’t skull even a small glass.

Snake nominated Goer and Bits and Pieces for the Getting Lost Before the Run Started Award, later to be joined by Suzanne, who couldn’t find it even as she was standing on shredded paper outside the Snakepit. Needless to say, that down-down disappeared at lightening speed.

The hash was treated to a description of events during the Iko Memorial dinner, where due to a tight dress Skankanavian full frontal flashed the Head of State. We could not get the rest of the siva group to perform for us though. To liven things up, Tallyho described, loudly of course, how one hash mere had deprived an entire community of their water supply during the run, so Maddy got the Breaking Water Pipes Award. The GM helpfully reminded Tallyho that he was one who had required help up the hill from a hash mere, but the award only got him more worked up. Decrying the spectacle of FBI and Brent sprinting the last of the trail home, and bringing disrepute to the hash (“people will think we are some sort of sporting club!”), he got the two of them an Undue Athleticism Award. Since we were discussing the trail, Poumuli called for Snake to get a Pollution Award because of the inordinate amount of paper used on the false trail. Snake defended this by explaining that it was the requisite amount of paper needed for a cross, so Poumuli had to join him (why oh why do I open my mouth). SOTB pointed out that Poumuli had tossed his tobacco into the pen where Snake keeps his puppies, so he got a second pollution award (at least that will stop them from barking).

Gabor went into a much too long description of Snake’s past runs, and amid loud snoring from the hash circle was awarded the Windbag Award by the GM. The GM discovered that not only was MilkMe late, but he was smoking in the circle, so front and centre he went. SOTB recounted how during the Taumesina classic a hashman had brought his young daughter to this beer infested swearing event (wait a second, POD brings Happy Feet to hash?), so Sid the Tall Maori got the Child Endangerment Award.

Tallyho had now recovered his wits and described with shock and horror how he had seen two seasoned hashers chariot riding on the way back. Slippery got no mercy, but Godfather asked for leniency, as it was his first such offence in 28 years of hashing. He got a small one as a result, but showed his usual good style in delivery (editor - the GM was merciless and handed both Godfather and Slippery double-downs). Poumuli nominated Dawn Raid for the Ms Roger Stanley Friendship Award for sharing a house with four fa’fafines in Pago. Lewinsky wanted SOTB front and centre for violating Yacht Club rules and destroying property in his advanced wooing of girls.

Our actual GM – Eveready – recounted how a hash mere at a wedding had been told she looked better than the bride, but got so sloshed she couldn’t remember this the next day. Delectable was at least relieved she woke up next to her own husband.

POD noted that this was Snake’s 1000th run, so honour of this he had to drink from his favourite mug – the titty mug (although some hecklers suggested he really wanted the other one!). For some reason the hash circle sang happy birthday during the protracted down-down. Snake was asked to say a few words, but he stumbled on his first line and named Karaoke by her real name. End of speech, and the hosts and hare were serenaded. Skankanavian tried for a late nomination, having asked a hash mere to come out with her, but Delicious forgot to close the cake shop and got grounded. The hash thought this was a stretch so Skankanavian had to join, with Gene stepping in for Cellphonus Interruptus. SOTB also wanted a late nomination to Skankanavian for Not Living Up To Your Hash Name Award, as there are two navy ships in port and no scandals as yet, but the GM over-ruled this one.

Editor - POD also noted that there are some new Hashers yet to be named. These namings will take place at a later time. Perhaps after the new GM and Mismanagement team is in-place.

Snake and Fang had put on a great spread of food, so the hungry hashers all enjoyed themselves.

Next run will be from Wahoo’s house in Vaola.

On on,

Poumuli.

Hash Run 1473 - Mon 6 Jul 2009

Be sure to join us for Snake’s 1,000th Apia Hash House Harriers Run. This run, Hash Run #1473 will be at the Snake Pit downtown (see map). NO FEES and FREE BEER for all regular Apia Hash members and those with Hash names. Snake will be donating a keg, and Apia Hash will be donating a keg. Witnessing a 1,000th run is a very rare event – it may not happen again for 20 years.

1,000th Run Fact: If you ran every week, it would take (19) years and (12) weeks to reach (1000) runs.

On On!

Hash Trash - Run 1472

This week’s has was hosted at HQ 1 – also known as On The Rocks – down on Beach Road in Apia. It was a live run with Dawn Raid as hare. He took us at a fast pace out by the sea wall and around the Government Building, across the sodding wet grass, across the lights to Vaea Street. At this point he was nearly caught by Will, but off they went across the fields into Mulivai. At this point the shortcutters were going across all sorts of fields, and the hare was trapped at a locked gate. Scrambling across this was clearly a hazard, and Swinger may have left his goolies behind on the spikes. Kamikaze made some interesting noises too. The hare set off again, with Will, Chris and others in pursuit. We went down Faatoia Road and turned down Ififi Street for the On-Home. A short sharp run in other words. Most of the pack made it back, but Tallyho went the long way home ostensibly to safeguard the family mules. At least that was what it sounded like.

At HQ1, POD took on the task of acting GM and quieted the brash hashers with sharp commands. New to hash were Brent from the US (climate change student) and Simon from NZ (vet student). The rethreads were Hannah, Dawn Raid and SOTB. No new shoes, so AC/DC began his long night. For not explaining the rules of hash, Hannah had a down-down for Simon – remember to take your hat off in the circle!

The GM wanted to award Swinger for the Sex Change of the Event, but in his absence awarded Poumuli for using the word goolies. Shortcutting Bastards Awards went to Tallyho, Slippery and Crash Bandicoot (straight to the bar again!). Celebrity Awards went to Sassygirl and Poumuli, with SOTB being added in for pretending to read Newsline. A joint Public Exposure and Perving Award went to Brent and Sassygirl, respectively. AC/DC was leaning so front and centre he went.

SOTB called for a Slavery Award for Crash Bandicoot, who had made him work all weekend. Snake provided the crucial information that they had been observed drinking beer all afternoon, so SOTB joined in the award – I mean what sort of slavery is that?

Ray Charles was observed smoking in the circle and was also awarded for wearing slacks to hash. Snake tried another fast one by seeking a Rethread Dishonesty Award for Mermaid (awarded) and POD (not!), so Snake got the False Accusation Award. Poumuli sought the GM’s ruling on hash rule 14(c) on the use of real names during the hash run. It was decided that this had only been applied to the hash circle, so Poumuli joined Will for a down-down. (Your assistant trainee scribe vividly remembers that Shafter had awarded someone for this breach of the rules, but nevermind. The hash blogs from past years is as blurry as my memory at that point.)
Sassygirl presented Slippery with a Predator Award for chatting up all the hash meres during the circle, and also Delicious for short-cutting. Ray Charles awarded Crash Bandicoot and AC/DC for something that escaped your assistant trainee scribe. The GM finished off the evening with the Hare’s award to Dawn Raid.

Next run will be Snake’s 1,000th hash, so expect a good one.

On On,

Poumuli.

Hash Run 1472 - Mon 29 Jun 2009

Hash Run #1472 will be held downtown at Headquarters #1, also know as On the Rocks, a well known and frequented bar on the seafront.

This is a BYO Food run, so be sure to bring your own food and to man the BBQ if you wish to eat. Snake has volunteered to bring his BBQ for the troops.

Please be sure to thank Lewinski and Princess of Darkness (POD) for the last minute save.

On On!

Mr. Whippy.

Hash 1471 Photos Posted!

Slippery delivers another fine onslaught of photos. This mighty batch is from Crown of Thorns farewell run - Hash Run #1471 hosted by Seema and Crown of Thorns. Check-out Poumuli's fine Hash Trash for all the sordid details.

On On!

Hash Trash - Run 1471

The farewell to Crown of Thorns hash was hosted by Seema and Crown of Thorns. Swinger provided services as hare. The hash was treated to the nice rural surroundings of Siusega, although Swinger had chosen mostly roads. There were a few false trails, but since we had Tallyho visiting from Fiji these were quickly scouted, so that by the time the pack caught up to Tallyho we were on the right track. Michael was also very quick down the false trails – maybe there is something with long hair? Anyway, the trail took us down the Aleisa road almost to Tafaigata prison, but luckily Swinger steered us in a different direction than through its gates. At this point the pack was being accompanied by the scrawniest Island Retriever ever seen, and I suppose it’s a reflection on our fitness! Safely back at the house it was refreshing to dip and wash the filthy sweaty feet in the swimming pool. Godfather had arrived a little late, but was soon catching up to the pack and made it in on time.

Mr. Whippy again stood in as GM. Your assistant trainee scribe had apologized to Susanne for the errors in the last blog (she is Australian, not Canadian; she is a librarian, not a nurse; she had given blood, not organized the event; Poumuli was jetlagged, not drunken!). The GM invited any newcomers to hash to step forward – and there were plenty. There was Jackie from Australia who said she was likely to become an overstayer. Katherine, Sarah and Anna were visiting from NZ but would be leaving next week. Then there were Chris and Raniekia from the US Navy, who promised to bring more of their Navals to the next hash. Skankanavian must have felt her ears heating up, since she turned up shortly thereafter.

There were several rethreads – Tallyho from Fiji was in good spirits and sound level and will be with us for three weeks; MilkMe, Gabor, Seema, Double D, Delectable, Delicious, AC/DC and Slippery had been absent, but most of them had boring excuses not worth repeating. The others absence were quite justifiable as we all know.

The GM then allowed the first round of the special Crown of Thorns Awards. She first called on all hashmen over 40 to step forward and got Sassygirl to examine them for who had the least hair. Tallyho exclaimed that he had been dreaming about getting a headjob from Sassygirl for years, but it was of course Godfather who came up lucky. He was given a beer mug with Old Fart on it. Next COT called on single hashmen under 40 for the Skanky Award. Since Skankanavian had not shown up yet, COT had to do this test herself which was aimed at finding the best kisser (but no tongue, hands or other groping). MilkMe, FBI, SOTB and Chris were the candidates, and there was much shock and awe when SOTB received a mug with Stud on it.

The GM returned to his set of awards, with a Media Magnet Award to Sassygirl and an honourable mention for Poumuli. He then introduced the Duck of the Week Award (for walking like a duck, sounding like a duck and ducking the trail), which went to FBI. The Shortcut of the Week Award went to the hashers who had taken such an extreme shortcut as to avoid the trail all together and heading straight for the keg – Lewinsky, Brian and Crash Bandicoot. For moving the pack on a fast pace the Cattle Driver Award went to Tallyho, who complained at the lack of Hash Halts on the trail. The GM added to his Shortcutters list by awarding Delicious and Ray Charles.

We returned to the special COT Awards: Sassygirl got the Superbitch Award ( a cap), FBI got the FBI Award (an FBI cap, how thoughtful), Slippery got a large cup (not sure what that was), Lewinsky and POD the Seasickness Award, Crash Bandicoot got a Learner Drivers Award (a pink fur trimmed L-plate, which he promptly broke), AC/DC got the Borat Mankini Award (I pray that we never get to see him in that), Michael the Giant Comb, the Princess Award went to Delicious, while Poumuli had to accept a pacifier for Wahoo (something about cradle snatching).

The GM took over and brought forward four hashers he had spotted leaning, or I Can’t Help Myself Leaning Awards to Sassygirl, Susanne, Gabor and Ring Ring. New shoes were discovered, Slippery and Poumuli (mine were used, I swear!) had their shoes filled, while AC/DC slurped from his new jandals.

On to the nominations from the floor, and Lewinsky gave a Road Hazard Award to Dawn Raid, but in his absence this went to Poumuli (I am going to take away the keys). Sassygirl noted that one of our expert sailors had failed to get it up after capsizing, so SOTB got the Can’t Get It Up Award and conduct unbecoming a hashman. Brian recounted how another hashman had been having no such troubles, but that he appeared to be cloning German tourists for his, er, pleasure. AC/DC therefore got the New One Looks Like The Old One Award. The GM pointed out that its not nice to nominate absentees, so Lewinsky got the Lack of Etiquette Award for making Poumuli do a down-down.

SOTB nominated the three visiting Kiwis for the Fashion Award for their matching shoes. Michael nominated COT for a Discrimination Award for purporting that men over 40 can’t kiss. Sassygirl welcomed our first-time hasher Chris, noting that it was his birthday tomorrow and for bringing the ship in, so he took a down-down in Navy style.

FBI tried to dob in Kiwi for a Forgetful Award, claiming he had forgotten a hash mere’s name, but since he could’t remember it either they both had a down-down. Poumuli was reminded that SOTB had been using his garage for storage since December 2008, and the vote went against SOTB.

Those who had not had a down-down were called front and centre by the GM, namely Susanne (is it nice to call her Vampire, GM?) and Delicious, but the record shows that they had, so this must be one of those Just For The Hell Of It Awards. He completed the awards for the hosts and the hare – COT, Seema and Swinger.

Godfather made a moving farewell speech for COT in which he thanked her for all she had done for hash, her friendship, always hearing her voice loud and clear at all times, and that we will all miss her. The hashers then sang Goodbye My Feleni for COT, who was so moved to tears that she needed MilkMe as whipping boy. Godfather concluded by wishing he was younger and about hoping she would find a nice guy to take care of her.

Next week's run remains to be confirmed, but the week after will be Snake’s 1,000th run, so Snake and Fang will host.

On On,

Poumuli.

Luana's Thank You

To Our Dear Hash Friends,

Just a short message to express our heartfelt thanks for all your support. The wreath was beautiful and your monetary contribution is greatly appreciated, but seeing so many of you both at the family service and at the funeral made our load a little bit lighter. We also want to thank all those who took the time to write messages of love and support on the Hash blog. We realize many of those messages are from hashers overseas who were not able to be here in person and we appreciate your love and support for us.

Luana’s sudden and tragic departure has turned our lives upside down as you all can imagine and we’re still struggling to come to terms with it. Please don’t be offended because we won’t be attending our Monday hash runs for a little while as we are desperately trying to get back on our feet and get on with life. We have always regarded the hash family as some of our best friends and up to now that is still the case. We will return because all the friends we have all attend Hash.

As the Ex-GM, I want to apologize for ending my term in office three weeks early. I’m certain the new GM who ever it will be will do an excellent job because Hash is full of very talented and over achiever runners. In the mean time please carry on with hash as usual and if you are in need of any help from myself, Karaoke, or Delicious, you have only to ask. God knows we owe each and every one at hash for their love and support.

With much love for you all, Eveready, Karaoke, Delicious, and the rest of the family. ON ON.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Hash Run 1471 - Mon 22 Jun 2009

Seema and Crown of Thorns will be hosting Hash Run #1471. This will be Crown of Thorns farewell run. So be sure to join us, run hard, wish Crown of Thorns a Manuia Malaga, and enjoy the evening. We haven't run in this area for ages. It's a great location with plenty of trails, road, and bush. It's getting dark early now, so get there on time. Siusega is about 10 minutes from town so plan accordingly.

Am posting a hybrid of SOTB's fine map and Seema's written instructions. They are looking forward to the run!

Starting at Tony Blair's flat:
"... Keep going straight on Tafaigata Road (you are basically heading in direction of Robert Louis Secondary School and the Landfill and Prison); you will come to a tarsealed road on the right (it sort of heads uphill). Carry on past this road and start looking for rubbish racks on the right hand side.

The second rubbish rack (there’s also a funny white concrete pillar thing next to the rack) marks my driveway. It’s a rough dirt track and the house is at the end on the left. If you miss this, you will come to another proper road – you can also get to the house from that road – gate will be open and marked but you need to park on the road. "

On On!

Hash Trash - Run 1470

The run was a live run hosted at the STA Fale by Sassygirl. The live hare was Swinger who was apparently caught on the run. Your assistant trainee scribe had only arrived straight from the airport and missed the run, but apparently it was a leisurely affair along the sea-wall.

Mr. Whippy stepped in as GM for the hash circle, and after checking that there were no new boots, turned on the re-threads. Dawn Raid, Kamikaze, Bits and Pieces, and Poumuli all had too lame excuses and were given large ones. The GM’s Exuberant Hashers Awards went to SOTB, Crash Bandicoot, Lewinsky and Underrated for post-hash activities at HQ1. A Hash Hero of the Week Award went to Michael who had apparently rescued a damsel in distress.

As he was looking for volunteers for the acting GM for the hash circle, Mr. Whippy was met with obstinate refusals, so the GM’s Draft Dodger Awards went to Poumuli, Snake and Underrated. The GM also awarded Female Driver Awards to Sassygirl, Ring Ring and Fang, simply because, er, they are female drivers. Kamikaze received the Flip Flop Award for consistently turning up in, er, flip flops. Snake received a Kamikaze Award for some reason.

In honour of those who show up early for hash even when the venue had changes, the Early Bird Award went to Emma and Will. The hash has many skilled yachtsmen, and the GM paid tribute to the Captain of the Week – Bits and Pieces. Walking Eagle quickly picked up the I Can’t Help Leaning Against This Table Award. Fashionably Late Awards went to Lewinsky, BB and Crash Bandicoot.

The GM opened for nominations, so Poumuli requested a Poumuli Road Award for Dawn Raid. This backfired into a Not Inviting Hash To Your Birthday Award for Poumuli. In quick succession Swinger got one for leaning, Ray Charles for having a new red car.

A Vampire Award was called for to our visiting Canadian Suzanne for organizing a blood donation day, which was doubled due to the media exposure and which went down at the usual speed of light.

Poumuli called on Sassygirl for her extensive tourism campaigning which has now extended to the branding of a Sassy Red Beer in NZ. SOTB called Crash Bandicoot for a Smelly Cup Award (not sure here, but don’t really want to know). Sassygirl awarded the Literacy Award to Ring Ring for not reading the blog. She also asked the rhetorical question – who brings cake to hash – which then was awarded to Suzanne. A Best Dressed Award was dreamed up by Lewinsky and handed to BB, Ray Charles and Heather (for a Little Red Riding Hood outfit). Sassygirl called for the Upholstery Award to be given to Lewinsky and Crash Bandicoot for the success of their new venture. On a roll, she pointed out that FBI had no down-downs and needed one, Snake and SOTB for letting a live hare go, and Swinger for hugging on the trail.

The host and the hare – Sassygirl and Swinger – took their customary awards, closely followed by a late Advertising call from Lewisnky aimed at SOTB. He was wearing a Guinness shirt (Tall, Dark and Handsome), and there was some dispute as to what was being conveyed here, but consensus ruled and SOTB was penitent. A further late call went on FBI for the Passionate Manu Samoa Award for his behaviour during the recent Samoa-NZ rugby game.

Next run will be hosted by Crown of Thorns and Seema at Seema’s place in Siusega, and not in Vaola as earlier stated.

On On.

Poumuli.

Hash Run 1470 - Mon 15 Jun 2009

Dear All,

Due to the unavailability of Blue Lagoon and our bro Thorpedo due to the sad passing away of his brother, please be advised that the run will take place from the Samoa Tourism Fale at the back of the STA Information fale. This is a BYOF please. Kindly bring a banger or ten to share.

On On,

SassygirlBJ

Venue Change Coming

As per Sassygirls chat message, Hash will NOT be held at the Blue Lagoon Bar as previously announced. Will post map for new venue once we know more.

Hash 1467 Photos Posted!

Fearless Hash paparrazi agent Slippery shares another great batch of photos. These were taken from Run 1467 at Taumeasina hosted by Rebecca, Maddy, Heather and Michael. Check out both the photos and hash trash to see and learn more. On On!

Aleipata Run for Education

The annual Aleipata Run for Education is on Saturday, 18 July 2009. The event's conducted by the Tuputupu-A'e Education Trust. If you'd like to have a good run along some of the most beautiful beaches on Upolu for a great cause, this event makes a fine choice. Click on the images below to visit their web site for details. SassygirlBJ.

More Love for Desirable

Friends and family from around the world are sharing their love for Desirable (Luana). As of this posting, we had more than (870) related visits to this site. During the course of these visits, friends and family posted more than (50) loving messages. New messages are being posted daily. Use the links below to check them out and post yours.

--- Share your condolences and memories ---
1. Click here and type in your message.
2. Select Comment as "Name/URL" and enter your name (leave the URL blank).
3. Click the "Post Comment" button.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Hash Trash - Run 1469

Many thanks to Underrated and X-Rated for the fantastic Hash run last night.

Your scribes are away, so you’re stuck with some random poorly written words from Mr. Whippy.

It was a beautiful day for a Hash run in Samoa. There were blue skies and just enough clouds to keep the temperature pleasant. Hashers began pouring in to Underrated and X-Rated’s home just before 5:30. Soon thereafter, Princess of Darkness sent the Hashers off for the run. The run went up Papase'ea Road, then across Papase'ea, around Alafua, and then on home to Lotopa. There were a few well designed falsies to keep the fast runners from getting too far ahead. Ring Ring’s son Buzz was tough. He stayed with the pack and did the whole run. All the runners finished and the sun set a few minutes later.

We had a good turn-out; about 30 Hashers or so. Godfather and Princess of Darkness (POD) had to leave early. Mr. Whippy was conscripted to serve as the GM for the night. POD was most thoughtful before she left, providing several names for down-downs :).

The Hash circle formed and the awards began. Crash Bandicoot was kindly manning the keg keeping the Hash mugs full. We kicked-off with three new boots. A couple visiting and a special guest, Desirable’s father Kevin from Australia. Unfortunately during their introduction, the couple said that James brought them to Hash. Then Snake said, “James, you should have a down-down for…” Of course, the GM immediately made both Swinger and Snake drink. And thus started the down-downs. Having witnessed the proper way to do a down-down, our new boots had down-downs of their own. Then the retreads came-up and had their down-downs: Crash Bandicoot, Popeye, Kiwi, Adam and a few others I can’t remember (too much beer). There were the usual weak excuses like “I live in Australia now”, “my wife won’t let me go”, etc.. There were no new shoes.

With that we started the GM’s awards. The few I can remember are: Cleanest Hashers Ever Award – Snake and Underrated, Female Driver Award – Ring Ring, Eco Disaster Award – Lewinski, Tuff Guy Award – Buzz, Media Slacker Award – SassygirlBJ, Slavedriver Award – BB, Indiana Jones Award – Swinger, Photos 2 Music Award – Son of the Bitch, I Can’t Stop Leaning on this Car Award – Adam.

Then the floor was opened-up for nominations. ‘Can’t remember them all. The GM got whacked for setting-up the Blog for Desirable, SOTB for helping BB on a Holiday, Snake for uh? Being Snake, Underrated, Crash, SassygirlBJ, Adam, and anyone else who looked thirsty :)

We closed the awards from the floor. And Kevin came up, said some kind heartfelt words thanking the Hash for all their help and support for Desirable and the family. Kevin then took a down-down for Desirable.

We did have a timeout or two where we discussed how we all missed Desirable and thanked Kevin for joining us and sharing his thoughts during this difficult time. SassygirlBJ thanked everyone for their contributions. Snake told us how Tony Blair and Selena were at the hospital every night for the family. There is no doubt that the Apia Hash House Harriers love Desirable and her family. We will all miss her dearly. Our hearts are with Karaoke, Eveready, Delicious, Kevin, and their family.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

And finally, we finished the down-downs with the Hair and the Host, Underrated and X-Rated. Next week’s Hash will be hosted by SassygirlBJ and Torpedo at the Blue Lagoon (next to headquarters, On the Rocks). After that announcement, we closed the Hash circle.

X-Rated put on a great spread. There was plenty of yummy food and many Hashers went for seconds. Many, many thanks. The beer was cold, tasted great, and lasted well into the evening. Yes, it was a great Hash run.

On On!

Hash Run 1469 - Mon 8 Jun 2009

This Monday's run will be hosted by Underrated and X-Rated at their home in Lotopa.

This is a great location, close to town, and always makes for a fun Hash run. As always, the standard Hash fee of $15 will be collected. An additional $5 for visitors (see How Hash Works for details).

Looking forward to see you there,

On On!

Hash Notice

The Schedule for the Funeral of Desirable - Luana, will go as follows:

Thursday 4th June 2009
Family & Friends Service is at 6pm at the Family home in Lotopa. Purple is the theme as well as Mena Outfits so please wear something purple or a Mena outfit as these were her favorites.

Friday 5th June 2009
Final Farewell Service at 3pm at the Anglican Church at Malifa/Leififi followed by the burial at the family home in Lotopa.

Hash will also be doing a monetary collection from any hashers willing to contribute to this. Collection Points are Sassy's Office at the Samoa Visitors Fale, POD or Lewinsky at On the Rocks.

On On.

--- Share your condolences and memories ---
1. Click here and type in your message.
2. Select Comment as "Name/URL" and enter your name (leave the URL blank).
3. Click the "Post Comment" button.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Apia Hash Remembers Desirable

It is with great sadness that we report that Desirable (Luana) passed away last night, Wednesday 3 June, 2009. The severe injuries she sustained from Monday’s tragic auto accident were just too much.

Desirable is the loving daughter of Karaoke and Eveready, and the loving sister of Delicious. Desirable was a beautiful, cheerful young woman very dear to the members of the Apia Hash House Harriers. Our hearts are so heavy. We will all sorely miss her.

The GM, Eveready has asked that we post our condolences and memories here, so that they may be compiled by the family.

On On Desirable.

--- Share your condolences and memories ---
1. Click here and type in your message.
2. Select Comment as "Name/URL" and enter your name (leave the URL blank).
3. Click the "Post Comment" button.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Urgent Hash Meeting

Talofa,

AHHH will be having a meeting today at the Apia Yacht Club at 6pm. Appreciate your effort in coming down to this meeting.

If you could all please make an effort to be there. Apologies for the previous posting. Somehow it came up before it was originally posted.

Looking forward to seeing our Hasher's at the Yacht Club tonight. Apologies for the short notice.

OnOn

Independence Day Hash Run @ Apia Yacht Club

Talofa,

Hash will be held at the Yacht Club at Mulinuu on Monday, normal time 1730. This is a BYO Food & Drinks Run (Much like Matareva)Unfortunately the Brewery will be closed so we cant get a keg.

Bring some swimmers and be warned, that the last few times we ran here, we got "Dirty"...See you all there.
On On

Hash Trash - Run 1467

The hash was hosted in Taumesina by Rebecca, Maddy, Heather and Michael. It was a beautiful warm day, perhaps a bit warm, but we were deceptively cooled by the ocean breeze. The pack set off after a trail of an extraordinary amount of paper. Your assistant trainee scribe has certainly never seen such excessive markings outside of the canine world. The pack was led out by POD and Poumuli, who took the first two of the three false trails. POD was in fine form (I think a down-down for training might be in order) and continued to get to the front of the pack throughout. The trail led down past Apia Park and up Viala-Vini Road past the UNDP office. As we turned the corner we feared a repeat of Lewinsky and SOTB’s trail, but we were finding so much paper leading into Faatoia that we simply had to follow. The trail was fairly smooth and level, so the pace was snappy, but a little too much road for some. A false trail leading towards Fagalii meant a return to possible trail that had been discounted, and now the pack raced across dykes and levies to get back to the main road. All thought that this would be a leisurely stroll home, but the hares had expected us to swim across the last bit. None did. Bugger that, lets walk along the beach. Several hashers did take a swim however upon return to base. We were getting hungry as Gordon Ramsey was roasting two (!) pigs on a spit, although he had joined the two together in a sexually explicit manner.

The GM called the hash circle to order and began with welcoming the newcomers – Emma from NZ (here with Will) and Emil from Sweden. AC/DC was given a special award for bringing him all the way here. There were many rethreads – Skankanavian, Desirable, Sid, COT and Slippery who also slipped in as whipping boy for COT. No new boots meant that the Shoe Inspector AC/DC took the award.

There was a double Celebrity Award for Sassygirl (four appearances in the Observer in one week!), and a special UFO Award for Poumuli for writing about censorship and Klingons. The GM had done some research and decided that Poumuli should get a warm beer – well it was bloody microwaved, and all that can be said about that is don’t try that at home. Yuk. It was reported that the Australian Navy was visiting, yet there was no mention of Skankanavian in the story, so she got a Failed Celebrity Award.

The GM expressed his sorrow that the Hash Nite at Tropicana was a complete no-show, and since none of the new Canadian hashers had come to Tropicana or to hash, he decided that Walking Eagle needed to take the NoShow Award. On a roll he recounted how the Samoan magazine Women’s Time had been showcasing successful and famous women, so for the life of him he did not understand how Skankanavian could be in the picture. Down-down administered and giggling accepted.

POD nominated Gabor for describing inter-species love between a gerbil and a dog at an APS fundraiser, and Gabor had to be quieted from explaining as this is a family hash.

As mentioned earlier, the pigs were roasting in a most suggestive posture, and SOTB pointed this out to the GM, who gave Gordon Ramsey the X-rated Porking Award. Slippery violated the family hash code by bringing up other sexual positions that would have been worse so he took a 69 Award.

The doubles were working on Sassygirl who accused Snake of trying to getting too cuddly with Happy Feet, but Sassygirl had to join in when she had been the first for picking up the baby from POD. Slippery slipped up again.

Lewinsky questioned whether Desirable had been away for business or pleasure, but the explanation was not good enough – Business Class Award. SOTB nominated the hares for the Pollution Award for the amount of paper used on the trail. A bit strange since Michael promotes recycling in the refrigeration sector.
The GM likes Tropicana, but apparently few else do. After the notorious APS fund-raiser only Suzanne had turned up to dance with him. As she drank the first mug too quick for the eye to see, the GM ordered another so that we might time it. Gabor claimed it was 5 seconds, but that was in Hungarian time.

SOTB thought that Sid had been such an exceptional sailor on the weekend and called for a Popeye Award. Keeping it in the family, Sassygirl nominated the bare-chested offspring of the house to step forward and stop arousing the hash meres. But it was pointed out that she had been stripping her shirt off in the carpark when Poumuli arrived. The hosts were thanked and honoured in the traditional manner – Heather, Michael and Rebecca. How did Maddy escape?

Next week’s run will be a holiday run, so if it is set on a beach then bikinis are mandatory. We all hope the GM meant for the ladies only, as we all recall his failing wardrobe incident when his tank top gave up the ghost.

On on!

Poumuli.

Hash Run 1467 - Mon 25 May 2009

Hi everyone. Monday's Hash will be held at Taumeasina close to Lewinski and Princess of Darkness' place (House #2 of the complex). Mike, Heather, Maddy, and Bec are kindly hosting this Hash. Please show-up on-time. It's no fun running in the dark with rabid dogs. Bring your swim gear if you want to cool off after the run.

On On!